


it hurts to breathe

by heereandqueere



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz (Two River Cast) RPF, Be More Chill - Ned Vizinni
Genre: Crush, F/M, Fluff, Gay, M/M, Sad, Smut, Unrequited Love, actually super sad, at least momentarily ;)), bmc, haha idk how to tag this, highschool
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-05-30 20:04:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 37
Words: 101,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15103955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heereandqueere/pseuds/heereandqueere
Summary: Jeremy Heere is a straight male. He is dating his girlfriend, Christine, and he most definitely doesn’t return Michael Mell’s romantic love for him.At least he doesn’t think so.





	1. Chapter 1

“Okay, honestly, these scores aren’t, like, _bad_ ,” Michael attempted to console his best friend as he flipped through Jeremy’s SAT scoring booklet. An 1180 wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t exactly Jeremy’s ideal. Initially, he hadn’t felt _too_ bad about the scores, especially since he had never considered himself a genius or anything. However, when everyone else who had taken the test with him got their scores back, any confidence in his test that he had had immediately diminished. 

Jeremy fell back onto his bed in a fit of rage, his anger boiling inside his chest. “Okay, it’s not terrible, but it’s not good either!” he complained, breathless. He was tired of hearing everyone complain about their scores when they were leaps beyond his own. 

Michael bit the inside of his cheek and studied the numbers. _640 in Reading and Writing, 540 in Mathematics._ It wasn’t terrible; Jeremy had that right. Though his score was better than Michael’s, Jeremy was still upset that his scores hadn’t matched his projected score. 

The two sat in silence, tense, confusion and anger lingering in the atmosphere that engulfed them. 

“I know I’ve already said this,” Michael interjected, setting the papers down on his lap, “but these are better than my scores. Better than the PSAT you've taken for the past three years. Your ACT score was higher in comparison, and I know you don’t care about the ACT, but still... You can retake this test. Again. And again. And again.”

Jeremy grunted and brought his clenched fists to his eyes to wipe away the frustrated tears that were starting to form at the corners of his eyes. “I know that, Michael. It’s just, it’s just so infuriating...” he sighed, letting his hands collapse and fold across his chest. “I know you don’t care about your scores, but I do, and I want to get into a decent college.”

Michael felt a pang of insecurity tighten his chest. He lost his breath for a second. Sure, he didn’t care about his standardized test scores as much as Jeremy did, but he still cared. “Jerm, you know I care! Am I disappointed in my scores? Sure. However, you also know that I don’t believe in timed testing like this,” he defended himself quickly, crossing his arms. 

The smaller boy took a deep breath and sat back up, guilt causing his thoughts to ring in his ears.

“Sorry, Micah, you know I didn’t mean it like that,” Jeremy apologized, looking down at his hands, “It’s just that, I dunno, I really thought my scores would’ve been better. I’ve never been academically inclined, but when I have no extracirriculars to show for and no talent to present to college admission boards or whatever, it just makes it seem a little pointless.” 

Michael looked up at Jeremy and nodded quietly. “Yeah, alright, I get it. Don’t apologize. I know grades are important to you. Plus, you’re, like, super smart, even if you don’t feel that your SAT scores reflect that,” he replied earnestly, offering his friend a soft smile. 

Jeremy glanced up and smiled back. “Yeah, whatever,” he said, blushing slightly. “I guess I should’ve taken Christine up on that tutoring offer, though. She got a way higher score. I have a smart girlfriend.” 

_Right, girlfriend._

Michael internally grimaced, but just continued grinning. “Yep, you sure do. She has a smart boyfriend, but you already know that. Hey, let’s go get something to eat. Kids eat free at Taco Bell today,” he tried shifting the conversation. Jeremy screwed up his nose in disgust. “We’re not kids. Plus, Taco Bell is gross.” 

“How dare you? Taco Bell isn’t gross,” Michael remarked, leaning over to shove Jeremy. “Also, we’re kids if we act like kids and say so. What’s the difference, a few dollars? They won’t care.” 

Jeremy rolled his eyes and forced himself out of bed. “Whatever. We’re going to Burger King because I want onion rings. Plus, that’s where Christine works, and I wanna see her.” 

Michael subconsciously gritted his teeth at Jeremy’s constant mentioning of his girlfriend. 

It had been a month and a half since they had started dating, but to Michael, it seemed like an actual eternity. He suffered in silence as Jeremy’s middle and high school dream girl constantly paid Jeremy visits at his locker, at lunch, at home. Constantly. It seemed like every time Michael and Jeremy made plans, Jeremy would cancel because of Christine or include Christine without even asking beforehand. 

“Only because you’re craving onion rings, and now that you mention it, I’m also craving onion rings. Oh, and those cheesy tot things,” Michael played it off, ignoring his little Christine moment. 

Jeremy clicked his tongue and grabbed a pair of Converse from his closet. “God, I love cheesy tots. If you get some, you have to share,” he demanded, and Michael turned over the idea in his head. 

Mockingly, he shook his head, saying, “Nah, I think that I’ll just eat them all by myself. I’m only sharing if you’re paying.” Jeremy scoffed. “Uh, what’s the point then? I’ll just buy my own.” Though he said that, Michael knew that Jeremy was going to pay and share food with him regardless. This suspicion was all but confirmed when Jeremy grabbed his wallet from his desk drawer. 

“You’re driving,” Jeremy insisted, and Michael took his keys out of his pocket. 

The boys walked through the hall and into the living room, passing Mr. Heere on their way out the door. “Bye boys, where are you going? Does Jeremy have a date with Christine?” 

Michael answered before Jeremy could, “No, we’re going to Burger King for dinner.” 

Jeremy’s mouth was slightly agape, but he quickly shut it before he said something he’d regret. What had gotten into Michael? 

Mr. Heere drew his lips into a thin line and nodded, looking back at the television. It looked like he was watching _The Office_ , but Jeremy could care less. “Okay then,” his dad said shortly. “Have fun.” 

Michael was already out the door when Jeremy came back to it, so he had to make a few quick strides to catch up. 

Personally, he thought that he should’ve asked about Michael’s little episode a few moments ago, but he didn’t comment yet. Jeremy had learned to pick his battles when it came to challenging Michael’s opinion on Christine. For some unknown reason, Michael had held some sort of personal grudge against his girlfriend ever since they started dating. Actually, come to think of it, Michael never really _did_ warm up to her, never really liked her. Jeremy always stuck a jealousy label on it, but little did he know, Michael did have serious jealousy issues, though not the kind he thought. 

“So, your dad,” Michael said across the roof of his car, opening his door and sliding into the seat. Jeremy followed suit, slamming the door behind him. “What about him?” he asked, buckling himself in. 

Michael stuck his key into the ignition and turned it in a swift, jerky movement. “He’s into _The Office_ now?” he made small talk, pulling his seatbelt across his chest and clicking it into place.

His friend forced a fake smile. “Yeah, I guess. I don’t keep up with his hobbies or TV preferences,” Jeremy replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Michael noted his tone of voice as he put the car in reverse, pulling out of the driveway and driving down the street. “Didn’t think so,” Michael commented quietly, turning up his radio.

Jeremy furrowed his brow and shook his head in disbelief. Was Michael really starting another argument? 

Ever since he had started dating Christine, all Michael had done was start fights. Constantly. 

Jeremy reached out and turned the radio off, receiving a glare from Michael as they rolled to a stop at a sign. “What’s your deal, man?” Jeremy insisted, making it sound more like a statement than a question. 

Michael looked back at the road and started driving once he took notice of the lack of cars at the intersection. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he stated simply. Jeremy grunted in frustration, putting a hand over Michael’s, which was resting on the console between them. The sudden contact made Michael jump slightly, but he felt too awkward to move. He suddenly became aware of how clammy his hands were.

”Seriously, is everything okay? Ever since I started dating Christine, you’ve been acting, like, super weird. This isn’t Michael, my best friend. This isn’t Michael, who would do anything for me and stay happy for me even if I was doing something he didn’t necessarily agree with,” Jeremy said, his voice almost hushed. 

Michael felt his face get warm, but he just blamed the sun that was streaming through the window. 

“Everything’s fine. Nothing is different. I’m–“ Michael took a shaky breath.

“I’m still Michael, your best friend. Your best friend that will be happy for you no matter what, no matter who you’re with, no matter what you do.” 

Jeremy’s glare was one filled with concern. Michael didn’t seem okay. Maybe he was just anxious about his approaching senior year, or maybe the pressures of finally becoming an adult were starting to weigh him down. Their junior year was only about halfway done, but Jeremy could relate to the sudden pressures of adulthood that managed to loom over him from time to time. 

“Is it school?” he inquired, and Michael swallowed slowly. The light ahead changed from yellow to red. They sat in an awkward silence as Michael eased onto the brakes. 

“No.”

”Is it just life?” 

Michael chewed his bottom lip, which was chapped from all of the chewing he seemed to do. He didn’t want to have this conversation, and he wasn’t about to admit to Jeremy, his best friend of twelve years, that he had secretly been crushing on him for as long as he could remember. 

“In some aspects, I guess.” It wasn’t really a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth. 

Jeremy could sense the tension, noticing how Michael’s shoulders had stiffened slightly. Satisfied with that answer, he pulled his hand back, slumping against the back of his seat. “Yeah, I can understand that,” he sympathized. Though he wasn’t sure what he was sympathizing with, Jeremy had no other way to convince his friend that he was there for him, that he wordlessly understood Michael’s emotions.

Except he didn’t. 

Jeremy couldn’t possibly begin to understand how Michael was feeling. Alright, he had pined after Christine for four years, his love unrequited, but it wasn’t even close to Michael’s predicament. Had Jeremy been best friends with Christine for twelve years? Did he ever see her cry and struggle and _sob_ because of how hard her life was? Because of how anxious school and everything made her? Because she felt so utterly _alone_ in the world, having only one friend to pass time with and talk to? 

No. That was Michael and Jeremy. That was Michael being there for Jeremy, who he would do anything for. Who he would die for, who he would literally lay his life down for.

Lost in thought, Michael didn’t notice the light change. 

“Green,” Jeremy commented, and continued whatever he was ranting about. Michael hadn’t even noticed that Jeremy was rambling, and try as he might, he couldn’t focus on the spiel of information. 

Michael lived nearly every day of his life in regret, especially following the SQUIP situation. When Christine had agreed to go on that date with Jeremy, Michael knew that he had completely missed his chance of ever being with his best friend.

Plus, Jeremy was straight. 

Of course he’d never admit it, but his first kiss wasn’t even with a girl. Jeremy probably didn’t remember it, but Michael did, and he cherished those few seconds with all of his heart. 

_“I’m so sorry, Jeremy. I know this has to be so hard to deal with, but I’m, y’know, here for you,” Michael said softly, his arms shaking as Jeremy heaved sob after sob against him._

_Michael couldn’t even imagine the pain Jeremy was suffering; a parent just completely deserting their family without notice beforehand was an occurrence that Michael couldn’t even fathom. His best friend continued rocking back and forth, not embarrassed, but so thankful for Michael being there to comfort him._

_”I j-just don’t understand!” he cried, sniffling loudly. Michael let him go momentarily and handed him another tissue, but then returned to their previous position. “We were s-so happy! We had s-such a g-good life,” he hiccuped, wiping his nose feverishly. Michael nodded and threaded his fingers through Jeremy’s curly mop of hair. He held Jeremy close, pushing his head into the crook between his neck and his shoulder._

_Though Michael knew that Mr. Heere was probably just as distraught as his son, Jeremy’s pain and emotions were a bit mature. He just kept blaming himself and his dad, but mostly himself. He didn’t hold the happening against his mom. For some reason, all Jeremy could manage was placing blame on how he just wasn’t a good enough son, or that he just wasn’t enough for her. It saddened Michael deeply, but he couldn’t do anything but hold Jeremy close and whisper, shushing him constantly._

_And that’s when it happened._

_Jeremy pulled back, his eyes and cheeks wet and stained with tears. He wrapped his arms around Michael’s neck, pulling himself towards Michael and smashing their mouths together._

_It had completely caught Michael off-guard, so he was unable to react at first. When he came to it, Michael kissed him back, becoming sad only when he realized that this kissing was because Jeremy had no other way of comforting himself. However, Michael kept the kiss going, trying not to let Jeremy be alone or feel any worse than he already did._

“Michael!” Jeremy screamed, yanking the steering wheel in his direction. Michael stared blankly at the road in front of him. 

He had definitely almost driven into oncoming traffic. 

“Shit,” he hissed under his breath, grabbing the wheel again and straightening out the car. Several cars behind him roared their horns, passing him quickly and without using blinkers. 

Jeremy was speechless, momentarily. He couldn’t hear anything over how loudly his heart was beating. He was so angry and surprised and concerned. “What the fuck, Michael? What is wrong? We need to talk right now. _Pull over,_ ” he yelled, frustrated and done with Michael’s guessing games. “ _Now_.” 

Michael felt his eyes burn with tears as he flashed his hazards and pulled onto the road’s shoulder. If only he could’ve kept up the act for a few minutes until they reached Burger King. He pushed on the breaks and shifted the car into park. 

Jeremy waited expectedly, tapping his finger on his leg. “Michael, what’s wrong?”

”Nothing,” Michael repeated. 

“Michael, you almost killed us!”

”Jeremy please just drop it, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

”Michael, come on.”

”Jeremy, _please_ ,” Michael started sobbing, his voice dry, cracking slightly. 

“I just want to know why you’re–“

”BECAUSE, JEREMY,” Michael cried, slamming his hands at ten and two on his steering wheel, “BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU, AND YOU’RE DATING CHRISTINE, AND I CAN’T FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT BEING ENOUGH FOR YOU!” 

He immediately regretted this, but it shut Jeremy up. Initially, he didn’t probe any further, but then again, what else was there to it? His best friend had been secretly crushing on him for years. For over a decade. How could he have been so blind?

When he was in the hospital, Michael was there by his side the entire time.

When his mom left, Michael was there to hold him.

When he complained about test scores or social pressures or life, it was to Michael. Not to Christine. 

The occasional sniff and shaky breath from Michael filled the silent car. 

Jeremy could only look at Michael sadly. He couldn’t comfort him, he couldn’t pretend like he knew what he meant. Jeremy didn’t like Michael like that. After all, he was straight. He was very much in love with Christine. The girl of his dreams. 

Right?

”I’m...” Jeremy started quietly. “I’m so sorry, Michael. I should’ve just dropped it.” He went to put a comforting hand on Michael’s shoulder. However, Michael shook it off and wiped at his eyes angrily. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine. I don’t need you to comfort me. I know you can’t. Just... I can’t pretend anymore. I can’t,” Michael rambled, steadying his breathing as he put a foot back on the breaks and shifted the car out of park. 

Burger King. 


	2. Chapter 2

Michael sat awkwardly in the booth at Burger King as Jeremy talked to Christine, who was supposed to be taking his order. He wanted to pretend like their exchange in the car had never happened. Michael wanted to crawl into a hole and ignore the entire thing. 

Why was he so childish? Why couldn’t he let go of this? Why did he feel so empty and upset, despite the fact that he had already confessed to Jeremy? Wasn’t that supposed to make him feel less lost? Less like he was drowning? 

“Hey,” Jeremy said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere. He sat their tray down in the middle of the table, sliding into the booth across from Michael. 

Michael fought back the urge to cry. He had already cried enough.

“Hi,” he replied, picking up his burger and cheesy tots. He dully noted the fact that Jeremy had gotten two boxes of the tatertots instead of sharing the one like they had originally planned. That hit Michael a little too hard.

Jeremy kept glancing up over the wooden divide at Christine, and Michael grew more and more frustrated every time he caught Jeremy’s gaze shifting. It was like he hadn’t even just come clean to Jeremy about how he had been falling head-over-heels for him for the past twelve years. Then again, didn’t Michael want to pretend like that didn’t happen? 

Fed up, Michael set down his burger and stood up after scooting out of the booth. Jeremy looked up at him with fearful, confused eyes. 

“Bathroom,” Michael barely managed to say before the tears came back. Fuck, he was sixteen and couldn’t even keep himself from sobbing over some dumb crush. 

He quickly shuffled to the family bathroom, not wanting to be overheard in a stall or something. He slid in quietly, ignoring the stares of other customers that had seen him tearing up. He swiftly shut the door and locked it. Completely unconcerned with how disgusting and unsanitary it was, Michael turned around, his back to the door, and slid down into a sitting position.

Was Michael having an emotional breakdown in a Burger King family bathroom? 

Through glossy eyes, Michael glanced up at the changing table to his left. God, this was so fucking pathetic. 

Michael let himself cry. Who was going to see? Who would even care? Jeremy? It’s not like he could do anything about it. This wasn’t even his fault. 

Michael scoffed at his train of thought, which was overflowing with self-pity and angst. He brought his knees to his chest, burrowing his face in his crossed arms. He shook as his body was racked with sobs, unable to control how loud his crying had gotten. Part of him wanted Jeremy to come knocking at the door, to just hold him and tell him things would be okay. That, what, he’d actually liked him after all this time? That Christine was just a way to get to him? 

How fucking unrealistic.

He slammed his head against the door, hissing at the pain. His attempt to knock the thoughts out of his head was a complete fail. 

Michael suddenly became very aware of the fact that his anxiety attack had left Jeremy stranded in the booth alone, probably done eating. Or maybe he was at the counter, chatting with Christine, telling her about Michael’s freakout. 

God, Michael was a freak.

He shook his head vigorously, and suddenly, a knock came from the behind him at the door. Thinking that it could be Jeremy checking on him, Michael leapt to his feet, wiping away his tears quickly and trying to compose himself. He opened the door expectantly, appalled and deeply embarrassed when it turned out to be a mother holding a crying baby. 

“Are you done in here? Sorry, it’s just that some people have families, and this is a family bathroom,” the mother crowed, and Michael’s heartbeat started pounding in his ears. 

He quickly opened the door wider and stepped aside. “Y-Yeah, I’m so, so sorry,” he apologized profusely, but the lady just glared and pulled the door close behind her as she slipped by him. 

Michael stood at the door for a few moments before realizing that he was definitely still in a Burger King restroom area holding in a breakdown that had been a long time coming. He steadied his breathing again and wiped at his eyes yet again. Maybe he looked presentable.

How long had he even been in there? When Michael’s anxiety got the best of him, he failed to recognize the concept of time. 

No one looked at him as he returned to his booth. However, when he got there, Jeremy wasn’t even there. Michael’s heart skipped a beat as he started wondering where he had gone. Did Christine’s shift end or something? Has she taken him home? Shit, how long had he been in there? Michael noticed that his food wasn’t even there. He felt around his pockets for his phone, pulling it out upon finding it. 

**player 2:** _in the car. pls come out when u can xx_

Michael let his eyes roll at his stupid contact name for Jeremy. It was an inside joke, but it had always held a deeper meaning for Michael. 

He hadn’t exactly kept track of when he left the booth to cry, but he guessed that he had been in there for a bit since the delivered time on Jeremy's text was over ten minutes ago. Michael took a breath and put his phone back in his pocket. He looked around and walked towards the door, out to his car. 

He opened the door and pulled his keys out of his pocket, ignoring Jeremy for a few minutes. 

“Home, unless you need me to take you somewhere else,” Michael said blandly, turning the key and looking behind his shoulder for cars. Jeremy remained silent as they pulled out of the Burger King parking lot. All he could think of was the guilt that was choking him up. He quietly thought about how he’d just cry when he got home, obsessing over his confused thoughts and how upset he had made his best friend. 

This sure would make school a bit awkward. Actually, it’d make a lot of things awkward. 

The ride home was silent. Neither of the boys could pluck up the courage to turn on the radio, let alone start a conversation. This time, there was no life-threatening driving or overthinking. 

Just silence.

Michael hadn’t even eaten his food.

———

Michael gazed hazily at the wall as he leaned back in his swiveling chair. He rocked it back and forth slowly, so emotionally drained. So broken. Just a complete mess. 

He couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge how terrible the upcoming weeks would be. Had he completely ruined his friendship? _Of course not_ , he thought. _Twelve years of this game of pretend?_ Of course it wouldn’t end with him ending the pretense. Surely, Jeremy wasn’t completely oblivious to Michael’s adoration of him. Michael was painfully obvious about it, or at least he thought so. 

Michael glanced down at his phone, which was glowing and displaying a few text notifications and a missed call banner. 

He ignored it again.

Standing up, feeling completely exhausted, Michael trudged to his bed. He just left his phone in the seat, not intending on waking up to his alarm clock or answering Jeremy’s anxious apologies or excuses. What exactly would Jeremy even be making excuses for? None of this was his fault. Michael cringed at himself for putting himself and Jeremy in such a stereotypical, pathetic situation. He was seriously so embarrassed with himself. 

Sleep would solve this problem. It always solved his problems. 

———

Jeremy texted Michael over and over again. Apologizing. Ranting. Explaining himself. 

It was pathetic, honestly.

Knowing Michael the way he did, Jeremy knew that Michael was probably trying to sleep off the problem, or was smoking away his anxiety. That was typical of his best friend. It’d even be safe to say that Michael wouldn’t be coming to school tomorrow, or that if he did, he’d be late and would ignore Jeremy all day. All week. Maybe for the rest of the year. 

If Jeremy was being honest with himself, he couldn’t blame Michael for all of this. There were times when Jeremy seriously questioned his sexuality. Besides, Michael was Jeremy’s first kiss. Sure, it was an emotionally charged situation, but kissing Michael made Jeremy feel something that kissing Christine didn’t. He didn’t experience the same comfort and safeness and closeness as he did when he kissed Michael. Maybe it was because he was crying, because he was vulnerable and hurting, but it was a feeling Jeremy wished he could experience around the clock. That kiss made his anxiety and his sadness melt away. It made him momentarily forget that his mom had just left in the middle of the night, running off with some guy. Some guy Jeremy had never even met or heard of. 

Jeremy shook his head and smiled slightly when he remembered how he had sobbed so loudly into the phone to Michael when he woke up and his mom wasn’t there. When her stuff was gone and when his dad had found a small note in the kitchen. 

It was so early in the morning, or late at night, and Jeremy could feel the pain fill his chest as he recalled his shaky hands holding his phone, his trembling fingers finding Michael’s contact, his anguished voice demanding that Michael come over and be with him and help him. He didn’t even tell Michael why, but Michael didn’t need to know why. He cared, yeah, but the fact that Jeremy had called him so late/early in pain was enough for Michael to leave the house and hop into his “new” car to speed to Jeremy’s house. 

Jeremy snapped out of his memory when he saw a notification play across his home screen. He quickly picked up his phone, praying that it was Michael. 

Nope, just a _Trivia Crack_ notification. 

Full of rage and self-hatred, Jeremy threw his phone onto his bed and threw himself backwards onto his pillow, turning to face the wall in a fetal position. God, did he hate himself. He thought over every text he had just sent Michael. 

**player 2:** _i just wanted to say how sorry i am about what i did and what i said and how i pushed you to talk to me even though you clearly didn’t want to_

**player 2:** _ik now why you didn’t, and ofc i feel so fucking awful about forcing u to..._

**player 2:** _michael ik ur awake pls answer me so ik you’re ok_

**player 2:** _we can talk through this, everything is gonna be ok. i just wanna talk_

**player 2:** _you’re right, ik you’re feeling that i can’t  help u w these emotions since i don’t like guys or bc i have a girlfriend, but i still need u to say something_

**player 2:** _anything_

**player 2:** _i just need to make sure you’re ok michael_

**player 2:** _please_

**player 2:** _ok ur not answering. that means one of two things_

**player 2:** _ok one of three_

**player 2:** _a, ur sleeping_

**player 2:** _b, u crashed your car_

**player 2:** _c, ur ignoring me_

**player 2:** _at least leave me on read so ik you’re not dead please. gn_

And that was Jeremy’s way of berating his friend, flooding him with his anxious thoughts and praying that he hadn’t killed himself or done something stupid. 

Michael was spontaneous. Jeremy really hoped for the best, _prayed_ for the best, as he twisted and turned and tried to fall asleep. Unfortunately, his guilt kept sleep away for several hours after that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes got a little too real when i wrote this haha ik it’s sooo cheesy and poorly written but my finger is going super numb help :)))
> 
> xofaith


	3. Chapter 3

“Mr. Heere,” Jeremy’s teacher chirped, looming over his desk impatiently. Jeremy’s gaze snapped from his blank sheet of lined paper on his desk up to Mrs. Thompson, whose glasses were nearly slipping off of her nose.

What class was he even in? 

Jeremy looked around the room to see that everyone had already left. He thought that it was a bit odd that no one had stopped to tell him that class was over, or that maybe he should just get over himself and deal with his emotions like everyone else instead of staring at a piece of paper for an hour and a half. 

“Lunch. You’ve been sitting here for five minutes,” Mrs. Thompson croaked, turning on her heel to return to her desk. Jeremy blinked a few times and pushed his chair back, leaning down to pick up his bag. His knee cracked as he did so, causing him to wince at the sound. 

It dawned upon him that he was in Advanced Chemistry, and that no one had told him about the end of the period because he didn’t really have any friends in the class. 

Going through the motions, Jeremy basically transported from the classroom to the cafeteria, not aware of his own movements or thoughts. Why did he feel so hollow? 

The only reply to his texts this morning had been the word “READ,” a time listed beside it telling Jeremy that Michael was indeed alive, just ignoring him. Michael definitely had the right to, but Jeremy did note how dramatic this situation was. Maybe he shouldn’t have let Michael go to Burger King last night, especially after that whole episode went down. It occurred to him how insensitive it was, and the fact that Jeremy had actually gone to talk to Christine for five minutes instead of just ordering made matters worse.

Had Michael noticed?

Before Jeremy realized it, he was already at the end of the lunch line, his tray heavy with food. It dawned upon Jeremy that he was the only person in line, and that he must’ve looked pretty fucking weird staring at the wall like that. To cover his ass, Jeremy pretended like he was inspecting his food. 

He looked up from his lunch and scanned the cafeteria. At his usual table, Christine and her friends were sitting and were having what seemed to be an animated conversation. Two empty seats made the table look foreign to him, especially since he was used to the table being full. Those seats belonged to him and Michael, and Michael was nowhere to be seen. 

Jeremy kept looking.

For Michael. 

He couldn’t find him, even though his eyes shifted from student to student at a studious rate. Maybe Michael hadn’t even come to school that day, which was typical if Michael’s anxiety was really bad. It’s not like his mom could stop him. 

Jeremy caught sight of Christine waving him over frantically, so he sighed to himself and walked over, putting on a soft, unreadable smile. 

Christine beamed as he set down his bag and his lunch tray, kissing his cheek as he slumped down in the chair beside her. _How stereotypical of a teenage relationship_ , he thought to himself absentmindedly. Christine was very into PDA and all of that stuff, while Jeremy considered himself a lot more reserved. Christine’s friends chorused a collective “aww!” as she returned to her seat, which made Jeremy’s chest twist uncomfortably. This was just stupid. 

“Okay, so I was just telling the girls about how you came to visit me at work yesterday,” Christine cooed, and Jeremy nodded, still silent. That wasn’t exactly something to brag about, especially since she worked at Burger King.

One of the girls from across the circular table nodded eagerly. “Yeah! That’s so sweet. My boyfriend doesn’t even talk to me every day, let alone visit me at work. One time, the one time I happened to see him where I worked, he was with another girl. But I work at Dick’s, in the athetlic wear department, and he insisted that he was helping her choose the most suitable clothing for soccer season. He plays soccer for the rec, and I guess their teams played each other this season! It was nice he was helping her out.” 

Jeremy grimaced at her uncontrollable rambling, wondering if that’s how he sounded when he couldn’t control his lack of filter. What it had to do with the conversation, he wasn’t sure, so he just spooned mashed potatoes into his mouth and hoped that a slight incline of his head would suffice. 

His table continued the conversation, which had somehow become about the topic of gun control, but Jeremy didn’t partake.

He never did.

Usually, Jeremy had Michael to talk to when their table did this. Sure, Jeremy liked Christine, but her choice in friends was slightly questionable. They were all theatre nerds, and Jeremy liked theatre, but he definitely didn’t know as much about acting or theatre history as the rest of the group. 

Michael sure as hell felt lost in the conversations more often than not.

Today, Michael wasn’t here to share Jeremy’s awkward exclusion. Jeremy just wished that he was, or that he’d at least text, or that he’d maybe show up any second. 

Lunch came and went. 

Jeremy’s last period came and went.

Rehearsal for the upcoming play that Drama Class was putting on came and went.

Suddenly, Jeremy’s relationship didn’t seem as incredibly important to him as it usually did. All day, he’d think about Christine, worry about what she really thought about him, hope that he smelled nice, wondered if he could maybe hold her hand for at least a few seconds that day without feeling embarrassed or unsure about whether or not he liked it.

Today, none of that crossed Jeremy’s mind. It was just Michael. Where was he? Was he okay? Did he text Jeremy back? 

Jeremy checked his phone for the sixteenth time that day. Still nothing. 

———

Michael was laying down in the backseat of his car, staring up at the peeling fabric of his car’s roof. The caving structure should’ve concerned him, but he was just feeling so empty. 

He wondered what time it was, since he had left as soon as third period ended. Michael didn’t go to lunch. He didn’t eat lunch, since he wasn’t hungry. Instead, he took to thinking about Jeremy and what he was up to. He chuckled dryly to himself as he wondered if Jeremy was lost in the usual lunch conversation, not sure when to speak or what to say when given the chance. 

Michael sure loved his dorky, socially awkward friend.

His face fell again when he remembered yesterday’s events. How could he forget, though? Michael had never regretted something so much, and he felt like he had a lot of things to regret that he could choose from. 

A stain on the ceiling became Michael’s point of interest as he continued pondering the whereabouts and wellbeing of his best friend. He thought back to the several messages Jeremy had sent him, though he didn’t actually bother to reply. In fact, Michael had even surprised himself by showing up to school. Even though he was hiding out in his shitty car in the student parking lot while second lunch was underway, his attendance was very unlike him. 

Usually, if Michael was feeling overly anxious, he just wouldn’t come to school. He’d lay in bed and chew his nails until they’d bleed or sit on his porch or in the basement until Jeremy came over, worried and equipped with snacks or video games or a shoulder to cry on and an inclined ear.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t really an option Michael had today. 

He continued staring up at the ceiling until he realized that he had lost track of time. He fished his phone out of his hoodie pocket and checked the time. 

Michael still had five minutes. 

For half of that time, he stared blankly at his black phone screen, wondering whether or not he should text Jeremy back. He had no right to ignore him, especially since Jeremy was his best friend and hadn’t done anything wrong. 

For the rest of his remaining time, he typed out and deleted and backspaced messages that could somehow make up for his unexplained absence or how sorry he was. By the time he was almost late to last block, Michael had failed to reply to any of Jeremy’s messages. He didn’t even have a class with Jeremy that day, but tomorrow, he wouldn’t be able to avoid him. That’s why he knew that he’d have to reconcile by the end of the day. 

Fourth period came and went. Michael’s drive home came and went. He knew not to text Jeremy yet, since it didn’t really make much sense; Jeremy had rehearsal until five, so he didn’t want to bother him. 

When dinner time rolled around and Michael didn’t eat, he decided to instead type out a long, quite extensive apology to Jeremy:

**player 1:** _Hey dude. I’m really sorry for how I acted today and yesterday night. It’s not like me, and I know I should’ve texted earlier, but I couldn’t bring myself to it. I spent all of lunch trying to come up with some apology or excuse or peace offering, but I was obviously left empty-handed._

**player 1:** _I don’t expect you to reply to this or return my feelings, because I know that you’re straight and you’re dating Christine. I should’ve kept lying about why I’ve been upset, alright? It’s dumb that I couldn’t keep it to myself any longer I guess. Like, fuck dude, I almost killed us haha... Thinking about you and me and how much I love you. Or whatever, I dunno... But I just want you to know that you shouldn’t feel bad about this. Please just forget that it happened and we can move over it. Move past it. You’re happy with Christine, and I’m so happy for you. I can get over this, just like I have been for the past twelve years. You should come over tomorrow after school so that we can finish this stupid pre-calc project._

Michael reconsidered the last line and quickly backspaced.

_You should come over tomorrow so that we can talk more in person and sort through this like adults._

Satisfied, Michael sent the text to Jeremy and looked up from the screen at his computer. His half-hearted essay for AP Literature was staring back at him blankly. Michael loved to write, but he just wasn’t feeling this _Hamlet_ essay. He quietly decided to save it for another day as he saved his progress and closed the tab. 

He still felt empty, but felt guilty about ignoring Jeremy all day. Even though he knew that his text didn’t really make up for his behavior that day or the day before, he at least felt better knowing that Jeremy would sigh in relief when he received the text, because he could only picture how much hair Jeremy had ripped out thinking about this situation. 

Michael huffed as he pushed himself to his feet to brush his teeth and finish getting ready for bed. 

The last thing he thought about before falling asleep was that stain on his car’s roof, wondering where it was from and who had made such a huge mark. It was a dumb thing to think about, but of course his mind started making connections and trying to relate it to his own life. 

Was he the stain? Was he a stain in Jeremy’s life, the peeling ceiling, or was Jeremy the stain in his? Was the stain Michael’s unwelcomed romantic feelings for Jeremy in their friendship, maybe? 

Michael would never know, because those thoughts were just half-thoughts, clouded by sleep and poor judgment, and he knew that they weren’t important or significant enough to revisit in the future. 

It was just a stain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my poor sad mikey boy :(( 
> 
> not really sure where I’m going w this, but it’ll have a rad ending. aiming for several more chapters <3
> 
> xofaith


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning, l o n g chapter smh

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” a voice came through to Michael, who was still asleep. Initially, he thought that it was part of his dream, which he couldn’t really recall, but then he registered the shoving and light tapping on his cheek.

He groaned sleepily and let his eyes flutter open, his mouth agape and droll pooling on his pillow. Not exactly a Sleeping Beauty situation, but it was very Michael. 

Jeremy was kneeling at the side of Michael’s bed, and when Michael woke up, he leapt back, startled. “A-Ah, Jeremy, hi, umm,” he stuttered, collecting his comforter and pulling it over his bare chest. Part of him had forgotten that they had been friends for twelve years and had taken baths together until their parents had deemed it inappropriate. 

His friend snorted at this and stood up. “Hurry up, we’re gonna be late for school. I made breakfast,” Jeremy said softly, turning on his heel to return to the kitchen. 

Michael blinked his sleepiness away, still groggy and feeling confused. Why was Jeremy in his house this early? He looked out his window. It was still dark, but after glancing at his alarm clock, he realized that his mom was already out of the house. Was he dreaming? Did he and Jeremy ever even fight? 

Exhausted, Michael pushed his covers back and sat up, hunching over his nightstand and putting on his glasses. 

“Michael, come _on_!” Jeremy impatiently called from the kitchen, and Michael grunted as he pushed himself off of the edge of his bed and to his feet. Before leaving, he grabbed a t-shirt from one of his drawers. 

The hallway was dark and smelled like burnt toast, yet Michael couldn’t help but smile. He definitely wasn’t dreaming. 

Michael entered the kitchen and sat at the bar, propping himself up on his elbows. “Mind explaining what’s going on?” he asked, sleepiness dripping from his words. Jeremy, back turned to his friend, replied hazily, “I’m just making things right. You know I’d never wanna hurt you, and I shouldn’t have forced you to answer that question. I just got scared and stuff. Even though there’s not much I can do about you liking me, I can still be the best friend I can be.”

This was so un-Jeremy-like, which made Michael question whether or not his friend had been abducted by aliens and replaced by a clone. A clone that didn’t know how to cook. 

However, something about what Jeremy said rang in the back of Michael’s mind. He said that there wasn’t much he could do about him liking Jeremy, which ticked Michael off, especially since Jeremy was addressing it like a joke. 

Part of Michael wanted to question it, but the other, more rational part of him told him to keep his mouth shut and stop starting arguments.

”Alright, I, uh, appreciate it,” Michael said blankly, staring at the granite and trying to make patterns out of the black spots. Jeremy’s reply was a hum as he picked up a pan of eggs and poured them inexpertly onto a paper plate. He didn’t like doing dishes.

Michael smirked and nodded when Jeremy dropped his plate in front of him. 

_He couldn’t do anything about him liking him._

”Thank you. Uh, sir? Could I please get some orange juice? These eggs look like they’re going to be a little undercooked, and my toast is burnt, so I need at least one thing that the chef didn’t make himself,” Michael teased, eyeing his runny eggs that were definitely undercooked. 

Jeremy mocked irritation and pulled a bottle of orange juice out of the fridge. “Twelve years of friendship and I still have a hard time believing anyone I care so much about enjoys extra pulp orange juice,” he mused, looking at the label with disgust. “I’m glad you keep orange juice with no pulp in it too.” 

Michael shrugged and watched Jeremy pour his orange juice into a cup. “Yeah, well, I have a growing teenage son, and he needs a lot to eat and even more to drink. Can’t let him starve,” he joked, taking his orange juice and sipping from it. Jeremy screwed up his face. “Look, Dad, I don’t need you to buy my no pulp orange juice. I’m sixteen! I can do what I want,” he retorted attempting to throw up gang signs and strutting around the room. He returned with his own plate of breakfast and sat beside Michael. 

It was like their fight had never happened. 

A few moments of silence later, Jeremy interjected, “Uh, these eggs are actually kinda gross. Don’t feel like you need to eat them.” Michael secretly hadn’t planned on it, but nodded in agreement. 

“So, did you come to school yesterday? I mean, I know when you don’t feel great, you don’t, but, I dunno...” Jeremy muttered, moving his eggs around with his fork, picking them apart. 

Michael’s breath hitched in his throat. What was he supposed to say? That he didn’t want to face the awkwardness he had caused by confessing how he felt for his best friend? 

“Th-The truth?” he pretty much squeaked, trying to cough to cover his pubescent reflexes. Jeremy fought a smirk and shrugged. “Whatever you wanna say.” 

Michael turned it over in his head. After all, Jeremy knew he liked him. “Yeah, I went to school. I just avoided you all day, which wasn’t hard physically,” he admitted, and Jeremy tilted his head slightly. 

“Physically?”

His friend sighed in frustration. “Yeah, physically,” he replied dryly, not taking his gaze off of his plate of eggs. “I had no classes with you. Lunch was me having an episode in my car.” 

Jeremy bit his lip and nodded to himself. He wanted to comfort Michael, because it was his first instinct, but he had to stop himself from leaning over to rub his best friend’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure that’d be very appropriate. Now that he thought about it, Michael had never had an episode in his car during lunch in the twelve years he had known him. If he was upset, he’d stay home or camp out in the bathroom. Even when Michael got a car, he didn’t like sitting in there because it usually made his mood worse for some reason. 

Michael just sighed and shook his head, setting down his fork and looking over at Jeremy. “Jerm, not if this is your fault. Not at all. I don’t want you to feel responsible for this. I’m glad I got it off of my chest, and I know it’s supposed to make me feel better or something like that, but if I’m being honest, not really,” he admitted slowly, not shifting his gaze. Jeremy met his eyes cautiously, making sure that it was okay to share a type of communication like that. 

“I still shouldn’t have forced you to tell me what was wrong,” Jeremy apologized after a beat. “You can’t even fathom how bad I feel about this. I don’t want to invalidate your feelings! I understand you like me, but...”

Here came the big G. 

“I’m not gay. I like _girls_. I... I love Christine.” Michael winced slightly and slumped his shoulders a little, hoping that Jeremy wouldn’t notice. Jeremy definitely noticed, but he was too caught up on the fact that he had said that he loved Christine like it was a question. “Yeah, I’m aware,” he said with a smirk. “It’s just... I dunno, my gaydar has always told me that you’re at least half gay. Are you bi? And I’m using my ‘you-must-answer-this-question-card’ on this one.”

Jeremy scoffed and rolled his eyes, thankful for Michael’s ability to make him open up like this and be honest but not completely serious. “No, I like tits,” he snorted, slipping off of the barstool and walking to the trash can, “But if I were bisexual, you’d be the first to know. I don’t really know anything about the LGBT or whatever community, I hope that doesn’t sound too insensitive. I’m an ally, is that what it’s called? Yeah. But maybe you should get your gaydar repaired. It’s broken.”

Michael highly doubted that; his gaydar never made a mistake. 

“Whatever. Take me to the shop?” Michael suggested, and Jeremy chuckled. 

“Get dressed, hoe.”

———

Michael sat in the passenger seat, wondering why it was always so easy to make up with Jeremy. It was partly his fault; he just couldn’t stay mad at Jeremy. 

However, this was pretty serious. He couldn’t understand why Jeremy was acting so calmly, and he knew that they had “talked it through,” but what kind of outcome was he really expecting? Did he want Jeremy to take his confession to heart and break up with Christine to lead a homosexual lifestyle with him? What did that even mean? What did it entail? Why couldn’t Jeremy just read Michael’s mind so he didn’t actually have to _resolve_ resolve this issue?

Was it even an issue? 

“I wanna stop for coffee,” Jeremy whined at a stoplight, glancing over at Michael, who choked on a laugh. “You hate coffee. You want a frappé from McDonald’s,” he exposed Jeremy, who gasped in mock offense.

”How dare you? I’m an _adult_. I drink coffee, God’s nectar beans. Is that how the saying goes?” Jeremy defended himself. Michael burst into laughter, causing Jeremy to laugh and get honked at because he missed the light changing. The two decided to hit up the McDonald’s drive-thru on the way to school, since they would’ve arrived early anyways. By the time they got to school, it was like yesterday’s incident had never occurred. Like Michael didn’t have an emotional breakdown in the Burger King bathroom and ignore Jeremy the next day. 

It was... unreal?

Jeremy and Michael had Gym first period together, which neither of them understood. Why would the school make them have an exercising class in the morning, with little or no time to shower afterwards, and then go through their day smelly and sweat-soaked. 

“Heere?” Coach Levi read from his roster, scanning the bleachers of students for the tall, pale, lean kid with a mop of curly brown hair. Jeremy raised his hand, accidentally knocking his elbow into the side of Christine’s head. Yeah, Christine also had the class with them, which Jeremy didn’t like. It was embarrassing that he was such a wimp compared to all the other kids in the class. Christine wasn’t _that_ into fitness, but having barely any muscle definition made Jeremy a little bit insecure. That wasn’t really because he wanted to impress Christine, but maybe he wanted to impress other people and Christine was just a visual example.

Michael glanced over at Jeremy, who was sitting to his left between him and Christine. Christine was complaining about something that Jeremy had done, who was rosy cheeked and apologetic. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” Jeremy stammered, shrugging. “It wasn’t, like, on purpose or anything.” Christine rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay. I know you don’t like PDA and sitting this close to me, but you could’ve asked me to move. You didn’t have to elbow me. IN THE HEAD.” Michael cringed at the stupid argument and, without second thought, moved away from the disagreement. He slid down into the bench beneath his, next to Rich. Though he had never been particularly close to Rich, the whole SQUIP situation sure had opened new doors. 

Rich looked over at him and smiled, raising his fist for Michael to bump. “‘Thup, Mell? Ith your boyfriend being a dick?” Rich teased, his lisp as prevalent as ever, and Michael fist bumped him with intentional force. Rich winced and took his hand back in artificial pain.

”Oh, he’th _thtill_  dating Thakethpeare?” Rich noticed, looking back at Christine and Jeremy, “Whatever. He’th definitely half gay anywayth. And I’m bi, tho I get to thay that. Bi privilege.” Michael snorted and rolled his eyes. He never had real conversations with Rich, but at least it made light of his situation. 

Michael took notice of Rich’s shirt, which was definitely too big for him. “Cool shirt. Unrelated note, how are you and Jake?” he nudged, and Rich’s pale, patchy face when red. “Th-Thut up, Michael,” he said defensively, but he smirked nonetheless. “We’re good. We made out in the janitor’th clothet for ten minuteth before thchool thtarted. He’th the only reathon I’m ever on time.” Michael felt a pang of jealousy tighten his chest, but sighed deeply and smiled. “I’m glad your boyfriend makes sure you’re at school. Your education is vital!”

Rich clicked his tongue and shrugged. “Yeah, I gueth. Thtill don’t know why he dumped Chloe. Maybe he wath angry about how often they fought. Chloe wath hathtag petty ath fuck,” he recalled, looking at Michael. “Can’t believe Jeremy ith tho obliviouth to your cruth on him.”

It dawned upon Michael that that was why it was so easy to talk to Rich. Some time after Christine had started dating Jeremy, Rich had invited Michael over to work on Physics homework together. In his mind, Rich knew that Michael was crushed about the relationship. He could tell by the way Michael got flustered when asked about his and Jeremy’s relationship, or the way he followed Jeremy around like a lost puppy dog. 

It was actually kind of cute.

Anyways, Michael stupidly agreed, and a study session turned into them passing Michael’s blunt between themselves in Rich’s backyard. High Michael was mellow and even more sensitive than sober Michael, which was unfortunate, since Rich couldn’t stop bringing up Jeremy and Christine. 

And that’s how Rich found out about Michael’s huge-ass crush on his best friend.

Though he couldn’t _really_ understand how Michael was feeling, since he ended up dating a guy that was “straight” in the end, but Rich could at least be a support system for Michael when he needed it. 

“Actually, he knows,” Michael muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. Rich opened his mouth to say something, but all he could manage was putting a hand on Michael’s shoulder. “Oh thit. What’d he thay?” he inquired, and Michael shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. He doesn’t feel the same way, and he’s still head-over-heels for Christine,” he admitted, and Rich rolled his eyes.

Jeremy had to be blind.

Christine was cute, sure, but what did he and Christine share? They liked theatre, but not to the same extent. Christine was a _super_ overachiever, a huge nerd. Jeremy usually did his best to do the bare minimum and somehow managed to get by. He had a smoking best friend who would do anything for him, who he had known forever, who was there for him when he really needed it.

When Rich was in the hospital, he was able to do a lot of thinking. Deep thinking. He thought about human nature and relationships and how weird they were, and when Jeremy showed up in the same hospital room, Rich remembered every time he had called Jeremy gay or made fun of him and Michael. Sure, he felt bad, but some part of him knew that Michael secretly enjoyed it. It made his attraction to Jeremy feel valid. 

“Dude, Jeremy’th thtupid,” Rich stated obnoxiously, like it was the most obvious fact in the world. “Like, you’re fuckin’ hot, a total babe, kind, funny, the whole package. Pluth, you like him? He’th tho lucky! Hell, had you athked me out before I dated Jake, you know I definitely would’ve thaid yeth. Thure, we don’t have the thame bond, but I know a _different_ bond we could thare.” He wiggled his eyebrows, receiving a blow to the chest from Michael.

Michael rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Yeah, well, that doesn’t change his ‘sexual orientation.’ If he were bi or pan or gay or something, he’d probably date me. But people are born one way or another, and I can’t just make him feel a certain way about me if he doesn’t,” he explained, trying to get the conversation back on track. 

Rich poked out his bottom lip in concentration, and then it took all that he could not to mess around with Michael. “Alright, yeah, but...” It dawned on him. “Look, you and I both know he’th not thtraight. I mean, what kid wearth blue jeanth over dreth thocks and Converthe? It’th jutht not heteronormative. Ith that the right word? Yeah. But what if you didn’t make him gay. He already ith, like, definitely at leatht bi! You jutht have to help him realithe it!” 

It was like Rich had discovered his purpose in life or something. A sexual guidance counselor, maybe. 

For a moment, Michael let himself become hopeful. Someone besides himself, who also happened to be a part of the LGBT+ community, thought that Jeremy wasn’t straight. It made him feel... valid? Like his opinion mattered?

But Michael just shook his head and stood up with the other students as the coach instructed them to warm up for whatever they were doing that day. Dodgeball?

”I’m not gonna push it,” Michael said warily, not wanting to stress the relationship any further, “Besides, I’m just glad he didn’t think I was a freak or abandoned me just because I’m gay for my best friend. Him.” Rich raised his brow, but didn’t question it. 

He was determined to help Michael, his acquaintance and peer, with his problem.

———

Jeremy rolled his eyes as Christine continued talking and talking and talking. Maybe he _had_ overanticipated this relationship. Hyped it up beyond what it would be. He should’ve guessed that Christine would be a very verbal, animated person, but this was beyond anything he could imagine.

He was so tired of arguing with her, and what Michael had said kept ringing in the back of his head. 

_Was he at least half gay?_

Like, what did that even mean, half gay? He was sure that the term would definitely offend any member of the LGBT+ community, because it just didn’t sound right. He never really considered the possibility of being bisexual, but he definitely knew that he wasn’t completely straight. 

Maybe Michael was his exception.

The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he wasn’t supposed to be with Christine. He was stuck in a weird love triangle thing, with Christine and Michael not being each others’ biggest fans. Not that he’d ever admit it to Michael, but Christine constantly nagged Jeremy about how close he was to Michael. 

It wasn’t like Michael got in the way of their relationship, but he was always a factor of interest. 

Jeremy felt incredibly guilty. His best friend had romantic feelings for him, and his best effort was breakfast and a ride to school? A halfhearted, jokingly stated apology? It haunted him, the way that Michael had hunched over his food when Jeremy apologized again. He just didn’t know what to say. Sure, he told Michael that if he were bisexual, he’d be the first to know. However, if Jeremy didn’t even know whether or not he was straight, whether or not he was even into Christine anymore... How would he be able to come clean to Michael?

Was Jeremy drooling over Michael now just because Michael said he liked him? Isn’t that what happened with Brooke?

 _No, that was the SQUIP. You never liked Brooke. You used her to get to Christine. That was a bad idea_ , Jeremy thought to himself, still ignoring Christine as she pointed somewhere. He started thinking that they had started an activity and that he wasn’t even paying attention. Dodgeball?

It had always made Jeremy feel weird, thinking about the whole SQUIP thing. Kind of surreal. Like that person wasn’t even him. It made him feel detached and dissociative when thinking about it, but Jeremy tried to avoid the notion.

Despite this, something occurred to Jeremy. The SQUIP’s main purpose, as he promised, was to improve Jeremy’s life. To make Christine fall in love with him. What’s the first thing that the SQUIP had cut out of his life?  

Michael.

Did he cut Michael out because Michael was a loser with no friends other than Jeremy? Did he cut Michael out because Michael was a visual representation of the old Jeremy? 

Or did the SQUIP cut Michael out of Jeremy's life because he was stopping the relationship between Christine and Jeremy from developing? 

Maybe it was all of those.

Jeremy was snapped out of his thoughts when a ball hit him in the chest, causing him to lose his breath for a split second. Christine glared at him and shook her head. “Jere, come on! Pay attention! If you go over there, I’ll throw you a ball and you can come back over,” she hissed, catching a ball that flew at her head right before it hit her. 

He made the long, embarrassing journey to the other side of the court, noting that Michael was on the opposite team. When Michael saw that Jeremy had gotten eliminated, he backed up to the line by which Jeremy and some of his teammates were waiting to be thrown a ball. 

“Sad, did it hurt?” Michael joked, catching a ball that someone had tried throwing at Jeremy. 

Thank God that the gym was so loud, because at that comment and Michael’s significant height, Jeremy whimpered quietly. 

Now that Jeremy was opening up his mind a bit, Michael suddenly seemed super hot. He wasn’t buff or skinny or fat, but he was just – there. He was strong. He was kind of low-key athletic? Jeremy suddenly felt like he had missed out on a lot.

”So much,” Jeremy whined, pouting mockingly. Michael rolled his eyes and turned around to catch another ball. “I’d let you go back to your side, but I kinda don’t want to.”

”Who says I do?”

Michael scoffed. “Your girlfriend is getting mad at me for catching the balls she’s throwing at you. I guess I can see who wears the pants in this relationship,” he mused, trying to hide his feelings and their fight with humor. 

That was definitely Michael’s superpower.

Jeremy bit his lip. He didn’t want to make the situation worse between them, but he also wanted to make things right. It seemed like now that the idea of dating Michael was in his head, his thoughts kept on watering it and watering it, making it grow until it was all he could think about. Maybe he should’ve told him the truth, but that’d be insensitive.

After insisting that he was straight and liked Christine, it’d seem like a lie or something. It felt wrong.

But being with _Michael_ seemed right. 

“Yeah, I like balls being thrown at me,” Jeremy said in a tone that he wanted to come off as nonchalant and joking, but actually came out as suggestive and serious. His breath caught in his throat.

Michael swallowed slowly and pretended like he didn’t hear that very-Jeremy comment, but it sounded so serious?

And hot?

”Told you my gaydar isn’t broken,” he managed, choking. Jeremy drew his lips into a line and watched as Michael went back to the game, avoiding balls and catching them when he could. 

Lost in thought, Jeremy didn’t notice the ball flying at him, Christine’s expecting grin encouraging him to catch it. Instead, it hit him in the nose, causing him to cry out in surprise. Michael spun around and winced when he saw Jeremy’s beet red face scrunch up in surprise. It was cute, but a bit of an overreaction. The balls were made out of foam, and there’s no way that Christine could’ve thrown a foam ball with that much force. 

“C’mon, Heere, pay attention!” Jeremy heard Coach Levi bark from the sideline, followed by a quick blow on his whistle. 

Jeremy grimaced and pretended to stand at the ready, not knowing Christine had given up on getting him back in the game.

So had his team.

Eventually, Rich, one of his newfound friends, backed up to greet Jeremy. He was on Michael’s team.

“What’th thakin’, Queere?” Rich said lightly, not paying attention to the storm of balls (that sounds so gay) being thrown his way. 

Jeremy turned even more red and huffed. Had his gay epiphany been so obvious? “I don’t like that joke,” he mumbled, crossing his arms.

Rich giggled. “Not a joke. I know you’re at leatht a little gay. Wat-thing you with Chrithtine ith hilariouth,” he retorted. “Bethideth, whenever Chrithtine kitheth you, you’re obviouthly not into it.”

Jeremy scoffed. “Am too, I just get... embarrassed,” he admitted sheepishly. Rich was his friend, surely he’d understand.

“You don’t like PDA?” Jeremy shook his head. Rich pondered this. He really wanted to involve himself in Michael’s problem. “You would if you were with the right perthon. I’m not thaying anything, and I don’t care that you and Michael aren’t, like, talking right now or thomething?” He had to pretend like he hadn’t talked to Michael about this beforehand. “Anywath, Michael ith your man. I’m not thaying that tho that you can join my bi cult, but that offer definitely thandth.”

Jeremy couldn’t get any redder at that point. _Shit_.

Rich was too focused on Jeremy to duck before he had been hit with a ball. He dramatically gasped, holding his chest like he was in pain. He collapsed to the floor, writhing like he had been shot.

”A-Ah! Tell my m-mom I love her! And my boyfriend, Jake! He’th the t-tall one with the catht! C-cute, athetlic, did I thay tall?” Rich pretended, and Jeremy fought the urge to laugh. “P-Pleathe, my dying with... Jutht conthider the fact that you’re definitely not thraight...” After finishing his speech, Rich pretended to die, and just laid there on the floor in front of Jeremy for the next few minutes, occasionally twitching.

When Coach Levi caught Rich, he made him get up and go to the other side. 

———

Michael glanced behind him to look at Jeremy. He was really red. Was he blushing? 

He wanted to go talk to Jeremy and tease him some more, but he was also thinking. He was honestly coming to terms with the fact that he had no shame in the fact that he liked Jeremy anymore. After watching him and Christine argue and after talking to Rich, it’s not like things could get worse.

Jeremy had made it clear that Michael liking him wouldn’t change their friendship, and that he wouldn’t abandon him. That reassurance made Michael feel confident about subtly flirting with Jeremy, since Jeremy was too oblivious to realize it. Maybe Jeremy was thinking, too. Michael couldn’t imagine what it’d be like to suddenly figure out, after twelve years, that your best friend has a crush on you that you can’t return because you’re “straight” and too confused to come to terms with your sexuality. 

Rich waved his arms at Michael, telling him to throw a ball to get him out of his dodgeball limbo. 

Michael chucked a ball at Rich, who caught it and darted to his side. “Dude,” he announced, out of breath. “Jeremy ith tho gay. Tho, tho gay.” Michael blinked a few times, but brushed it off as a Rich comment. 

“Yeah, okay,” he said, suddenly feeling like he was in a highschool film where someone acted as a messenger for two people who were in love but too chicken to say it to each others’ faces. “No, really,” Rich pressed, dodging a ball. “I wath jutht talking to him back there! I don’t know what he’d really identify ath, but that’th not important. You thould’ve theen how he got when I told him about how he thould date you!”

”You did _what_?” Michael hissed, suddenly flustered and angry and intrigued. God, he was such a teenager. “Yeah! I didn’t menthion anything about our little tchat. Jeremy doeth’nt like PDA with Chrithtine. That’th tho obviouth. Like, even Mithuth. Thompthon can thee that, and I think the’th like legally blind? Anywayth, it wath thuch a gay moment. He’th gay for you, Michael. I jutht feel it!” Rich seemed bubbly and accomplished, which made Michael even more angry.

He couldn’t believe that Rich had done that. What if Jeremy thought that Michael had set him up to do that? What if that was the last straw and Jeremy didn’t want to be Michael’s friend anymore? 

“Fuck, Rich. Damnit!” Michael huffed, frustrated. He threw down a ball and angrily stormed over to Coach Levi, asking if he could be excused to use the restroom. 

Michael practically ran to the bathroom, not letting himself have an episode or cry or get upset over this. He was most definitely overreacting. Just as he was feeling better about liking Jeremy, things were getting worse.

He slipped into the locker room and bolted to a changing stall, locking the door behind him and sitting on the little bench in the small space. He didn’t know what he was feeling, or why he was feeling it. 

Then again, that’s puberty. 

Michael let himself slide lower. He tried to sort out why he was feeling the way he did.

First, Jeremy had showed up at his house and made him breakfast. They “made up” and brushed the situation aside, though Michael had been as honest as he was comfortable with.

Then, Jeremy and Christine (mostly Christine) had an argument, so Michael went to talk to Rich instead. A familiar face. He felt... awkward... being involved with his friends’ argument.

After that, Michael told Rich that he had told Jeremy how he felt, but not why or how. Just about how Jeremy reacted. Rich assured Michael that he was an absolute snack, and that if Jeremy couldn’t see that, then it wasn’t necessary for Michael to continue falling all over him and fighting for his affection. 

Despite warning Rich and non-verbally telling him not to mention any of this to Jeremy, Rich apparently decided to involve himself, telling Jeremy that he should date Michael because, what? Jeremy didn’t like PDA with a girl? Michael shrugged as he realized he could follow that train of thought, but he also knew Jeremy.

His best friend wasn’t an outgoing person. He was reserved, he enjoyed enjoying things by himself or with close friends. However, even when Michael was hanging out with Jeremy and Christine alone, Jeremy usually only held Christine’s hand for a few seconds before he got embarrassed or his hands got sweaty. 

Jeremy had sweaty hands.

Anyways, Michael knew that Jeremy was always thinking about Christine. He constantly stared at her like she was his idol, which made Michael _so_ jealous. It infuriated him. He wanted to be Christine, or to have Jeremy look at him the same way he looked at Christine. _God, that’d be so hot!_ he thought to himself.

Michael looked at his hands, which were clenched into fists in his lap. He unclenched his fists and smiled, suddenly not as mad. 

If Rich had made Jeremy angry or upset, wouldn’t Jeremy be in the bathroom crying too? Instead, he was busy being a blushing mess behind Michael’s dodgeball team. Rich didn’t have concepts of social boundaries or social cues, so maybe Jeremy had played it off.

Feeling immensely better and a little proud of himself, Michael stood up and unlocked his stall door, looking down at his shoes because he realized that one of them was untied as he walked out of the stall. He bent down to tie it, and he heard the door crack open softly.

Looking up, he saw Jeremy. Jeremy looked like he was on the verge of tears; he was so red and glossy-eyed.

Michael slowly stood to his feet. 

”Jere? Everything okay–“ Michael started, but Jeremy rushed over to him before he could finish and threw his arms around Michael’s neck and stood on his toes to make his lips meet Michael’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fiiiinally I just wanted to get my boys together tbh!!
> 
> btw I fully support christine and jeremy’s relationship! I think that it was an interesting way to end the play for sure, but I definitely ship my sons with all my heart <3
> 
> xofaith


	5. Chapter 5

It had almost been a week since Jeremy stormed into the locker room to kiss Michael.

Michael hadn’t seen Jeremy since then. 

Well, correction, he had, but Jeremy was definitely avoiding him. It bothered Michael a great deal, but he tried to focus on the positive. For one, Jeremy, his _straight_ best friend, had initiated a kiss with him. Also, Jeremy’s only two _real_ kisses had been with Michael. A gay male. Of course Christine and Jeremy kissed occasionally, but it was clear that it was more forced than mutual. Almost like they felt like they had to kiss because they were dating. Another thing, Michael had caught Jeremy literally drooling over him from time to time in class, staring blatantly, not caring who saw.

Isn't that what Michael had wanted, anyways? He wanted to know that his feelings meant something to Jeremy, maybe that Jeremy felt the same way. The kiss should’ve confirmed that, but in a way, it didn’t. 

Michael didn’t even think about telling Rich, especially since they weren’t really friends. Unfortunately, he had no one else to talk to about Jeremy, so he found himself hunched over his laptop at two in the morning, writing another diary entry. He had started keeping a journal when he was in sixth grade, as per the suggestion from his school counselor. Michael had gone to therapy at some point, but his mom’s insurance didn’t cover therapy, or the pills that they had suggested he started taking. Also, therapy didn’t really work for Michael. He found that working through his problems by himself helped a lot more than paying someone an hour a week to be a diary when he could just type out how he felt.  He could just vent. He had to go to the therapist once a month to check up with them on his medicinal marijuana and how it was improving his symptoms, but he didn’t ever really use the opportunity to vent.

**Dear Diary,**

**It’s almost been a week since I kissed Jeremy. Well, since he kissed me. All I want to do it focus on the positive, but I can’t stop thinking.**

**I mean, Jeremy is “straight,” so it’s hard to believe that his kiss really meant anything. Besides, he’s kissed me before, and that didn’t mean anything either. What if this is just his way of releasing his emotions? I just want to know that it meant something to him, because it meant something to me.**

**Anyways, he’s been ignoring me all week. He hasn’t been at lunch, but I see him in my classes sometimes. He sits by me, but doesn’t say anything. I catch him staring all the time.**

**I think he’s still with Christine. I see them talk a lot, or more so it’s Christine talking and Jeremy trying to listen.**

**He looks at me when they talk.**

**I cant help but feel like he’s thinking about this too. I don’t know what I’m feeling. Maybe I’m still in shock, or maybe I’m waiting. Like I’m expecting him to text me and tell me, “Hey, Michael, I dumped my girlfriend and it turns out I like you! A lot! Wanna fuck?”**

**Is that what I’m thinking?**

Michael stared blankly at the typing bar, which blinked several times before he started writing again.

**It’s just surreal. I feel like this is an out of body experience. I want to know that he’s okay, and I want my friend back. I’m starting to worry that I ruined all of this by saying I liked him, or maybe that I confused him even more...**

**Okay, I’ll stop typing now before I worry myself to death. Bye for now, I’ll keep you updated.**

**Yours Truly,**

**Me**

Michael saved the document and closed the tab, slouching back into his seat. He stared at the monitor for a few minutes before closing his laptop. He looked at his phone again. 

No texts. 

He huffed quietly and brought his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around himself and leaning forward. He started overthinking again, tired of waiting and wondering. Michael wanted to know where he and Jeremy stood, what that kiss had meant. Even if it wouldn’t lead to anything else, he just wanted his best friend back.

Michael needed to sleep.

———

Jeremy held his journal above his head as he tried to fall back asleep. It was almost half past two in the morning, and he had school that day. He just wasn’t tired.

He read entries from years ago, trying to find any hint that he liked Michael or that he thought that Michael liked him. Maybe all of this, the things he had written, weren’t things that people thought about their best friends... Maybe he was absolutely in love with Michael, but didn’t know that it was romantic. 

Jeremy felt his heart skip a beat at the thought of the missed opportunity. 

It had almost been a week since he kissed Michael. It was an impulse move, really. After he saw Michael yell at Rich, stamping to the bathroom, he started to think. Did Rich tell him about Jeremy? Did he know? Was he mad? He secretly thought that the only way to find out was to ask Michael. So that’s what he was going to do, to go ask Michael if he was okay and what was wrong. 

That was the initial plan. 

After asking Coach Levi to use the restroom, Jeremy went over his options. “Hey, Micah, you okay?” “Are you upset that I’m a little gay for you even though I said I wasn’t?” “Did Rich tell you that I looked like a fucking tomato because he wouldn’t shut up about how wonderful you are? He’s right, by the way.”

None of those options were a real conversation starter, but he had no other route of action. So Jeremy stood at the locker room door for a beat, pondering his dialogue, and then pushed the door open. He saw Michael on the ground, tying his shoe. 

He couldn’t really remember what he was thinking, just that he was so overcome with emotion and love for Michael and confusion that he just... kissed him. 

Jeremy felt his face redden as he thought about the kiss for the millionth time that day. It was all he could think about. In class, he couldn’t pay attention. It was even worse when Michael and him shared a class, because all he could do was stare at the beautiful boy. He loved him.

Jeremy Heere was definitely gay for his best friend. 

Once Jeremy started staring at Michael, he couldn’t control himself. His glare never faltered, and he knew it was creepy, but he couldn’t _stop_.

Michael hadn’t talked to him since the kiss, but Jeremy knew that Michael knew that he stared at him whenever he could. 

Christine was getting _very_ suspicious. 

Jeremy had definitely been avoiding her. Hundred percent. He couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t straight, or with the fact that he didn’t even like Christine anymore since Michael was a known option. Instead of going to lunch, Jeremy would duck out of the building and sit in his car. 

One time that week, Michael had done the same. However, he didn’t go anywhere that day. He just got into the back seat and laid down. For thirty minutes. 

Every other day, though, Michael drove away. Jeremy didn’t know where to, but he decided that if Michael wanted him to know, he’d tell him. Jeremy was always at his car first, so he watched Michael fondly as he rushed to his own, trying to avoid trouble or questioning. There was lots of questioning. 

Their lunch table had definitely started to notice their absences, because during classes and breaks, Jeremy was constantly peppered with questions about where he and Michael were at lunch and if they had started dating or something.

Christine _always_ managed to appear at those exact moments, adamant that her and Jeremy’s relationship, as well as sex life, was perfectly normal. Jeremy also noticed that whenever she got the chance, Christine would talk and berate Jeremy, demanding to know why he didn’t talk to her much or initiate anything. His answers never mattered, because Christine would come up with insults or angry remarks that would always cut him off. 

Jeremy and Christine didn’t even have a sex life.

Trying to clear his mind, Jeremy shook his head swiftly and returned his attention to his old journal. He refused to call it a diary, because how childish, but it was definitely the typical teenage diary. He had started it when middle school began, because he couldn’t deal with his lack of friends. He couldn’t tell Michael, because that would make him feel like he wasn’t enough. Michael was definitely enough, but middle school Jeremy never considered quality over quantity. 

His journal was the one thing that Jeremy made sure Michael didn’t know about. Jeremy flipped to a random page in the diary, landing on an entry from eighth grade, the summer before ninth grade. 

_To whom it may concern,_

Jeremy snickered at his formal and dumb his greeting was.

_Next week, me and Michael start high school. I’m really nervous that we’ll change, that we’ll grow apart. It sounds weird to write this out, but I like Michael. I love Michael. He’s my best friend and I can’t lose him. What if I change? What if he changes and I’m not good enough for him?_

_Anyways, we have a soccer match tomorrow. I’m bad at soccer, and Michael isn’t that bad. I don’t actually think it’s soccer season, but it makes the rec money I guess. I like watching Michael play, because he’s starting to be taller than I am, and that’s kinda cute! I always tease him because I’m taller, but now he’s growing a lot._

_I think I’ll still be taller than him._

Jeremy clicked his tongue at younger him. Wait, had he read that he said that he _loved_ Michael?

_Yeah, it’s fun watching Michael play offense, even when he’s supposed to play defense. He’s very competitive. Every time we play video games, as you know, he wins. Sports? He wins._

_I like that about him._

_Anyways, I’m going to bed. It’s 9:30, so it’s kinda late. Plus, I have to sleep for the game. Bye!_

_Sincerely,_

_Jeremy Heere_

_P.S. Oh, I learned to draw this today! Michael taught me._

Jeremy cringed at the dumb “S” thing that kids obsessed over when he was in middle school. He could never manage to learn how to do it until Michael decided to impart upon him some knowledge. Dumb, he knew.

He looked back at the first paragraph. What exactly had he meant by the fact that he loved Michael?

He flipped back a few pages and decided to stop around seventh grade. The start of his seventh grade year, to be exact. 

_Dear Journal,_

Apparently he had matured once eighth grade ended, since the greetings before the entry he had just read were all “Dear Journal.”

_I saw the prettiest girl today! It was my first day of school, so it was the same. Michael was there with me the whole time as usual so it wasn’t any different. I wasn’t nervous._

_But her name is Christine. I want to be friends with her! She is cute and has pretty hair. Well, Michael also has pretty hair. If I were a girl, I’d say he was cute. He is cute, I mean. That’s coming from a boy._

Jeremy felt butterflies flutter around his stomach, and his breath hitched.

_Anyways, she sat with me and Michael today at lunch. No one sits by us usually, but it was nice to sit with her! Unfortunately, she said she wouldn’t be sitting there anymore... I guess she made new friends? I hope I didn’t push her away._

_At least I have Michael!_

_From, Jeremy_

Jeremy didn’t actually remember Christine ever sitting at his table, so it was weird to see it in words. 

He flipped to the next entry, which was dated about three weeks later.

_Dear Journal,_

_I’m waiting for Michael to come back from the door. We ordered pizza for the first time by ourselves, so that’s kinda cool._

_Anyways, sorry I haven’t been writing. I’ve been busy with Michael. We’ve been doing a lot in school, and Michael comes over (or I go to his house) almost every single day. Crazy, right?_

_I read my last entry. No, Christine didn’t sit with us after that. She doesn’t even talk to us! I think she forgot I existed. It’s okay I guess, but Michael seems to think I have a crush on her!_

That was the end of the entry. Jeremy turned his attention to the next page.

_Dear Journal,_

_I’m sorry my last entry ended so abrubtly. I learned that word today, and it sounds smart and right in this situation._

_Anyways, Michael walked into the room when I finished that sentence, so I threw you under my bed. I forgot about you until just now! I just wanted someone to talk to._

_To continue, Michael says I have a crush on Christine. I know what a crush is, but I’m not sure if I have one on her. I’ve been told that a crush is when you want to hold hands with someone and kiss them and be their boyfriend and you share stuff in common. I know boys in my grade that are dating girls, but it seems kind of silly to date someone in middle school._

_But if that’s what a crush is, then don’t I have one on Michael? I’ve held his hand before. It’s comforting. I have thought about kissing him, friend-wise, of course. Everyone does._

_Also, I share a lot in common with him! We’ve grown up together. I don’t know, I think I’m confused. I’m not supposed to like boys? I’m supposed to like girls? I don’t know, that’s what people say. Not Michael, though._

_Michael told me this week that he likes boys. One in particular. Sadly, he won’t tell me who. I bet he has a journal just like I do, and I bet he’s writing about who it is!_

_I’ll write again soon._

_From, Jeremy_

Jeremy stared blankly at the page, not moving. Did seventh grade him really think he had a crush on Michael? He was, like, twelve! He liked Michael? He loved Michael? 

Why did seventh grade Jeremy have his shit together? He knew that he liked Michael, in a crush way. How could he have not known? It’s like he was reading about a completely different person. Had Jeremy really repressed those feelings for such a long time? He couldn’t believe what he was reading.

But he couldn’t stop. 

_Dear Journal,_

_I know I said I’d write again soon, and it’s been, like, a month, but I’ve been thinking. Maybe holding hands with Christine isn’t that bad? Well, the idea. I think about it a lot. I’ve never held a girl’s hand besides my mom’s, but I’m not closed off to the idea._

_Michael insists on keeping his crush a secret, so I keep telling him I like Christine, so he knows that it’s okay to tell me who he likes._

_Unfortunately, he still keeps it a secret._

_I think the suspense will kill me! I just want to know. I’ll be happy for him either way! But sometimes, I think about my crush on him._

_I still don’t know if I have one on him or not, that’s the problem._

_The more I think about it, the more I realize I like him more than my best friend? I don’t know anyone who’s been best friends longer than us, so I can’t ask people if it’s just a friend relationship or more._

_I asked my dad, who said that I can love whoever I want. He didn’t say whether or not I have a crush on Michael, but he did ask me if I was gay. I said no._

_Yeah, I’ll think some more. I’ll keep you updated!_

_From, Jeremy_

-

_Dear Journal,_

_I can’t believe I’m starting eighth grade today. It seems like I just graduated from sixth grade..._

_Christine is going to be there, and I think maybe if I start a conversation with her, I can get her to like me. I think I may have a crush on her? What if I’ve just been telling Michael so much that I started believing it? Whatever, she’s pretty, so that’s why I like her._

_She’s also really smart._

_I’ll tell you how school went._

_From, Jeremy_

-

_Dear Journal,_

_Something weird happened today. When Michael asked me for the thousandth time about whether or not I liked Christine for real, I said yes. Something clicked, I guess. Apparently I like Christine?_

_I know it’s just a silly crush, but Michael seems to be taking it very seriously. I saw him typing on his laptop when I went over to do homework with him today. He looked like he was crying._

_I should steal his laptop and look at it._

_From, Jeremy_

_PS. I failed my math test today. My family wasn’t happy about that._

-

_Dear Journal,_

_I don’t feel great. Usually, I feel fine, but today, I feel like nothing at all. It’s really weird, but I don’t feel like anyone really cares about me? There’s Michael, and though he’s everything I could ask for in a friend, I still feel like something’s missing._

_I just know that high school will be so much better than middle school! I’ll have a brand new start, and I can change before then. Maybe I’ll have more friends. Maybe people will care, and I’ll start feeling things again._

_From, Jeremy_

Jeremy found himself crying as he finished reading that entry. He thought to himself about how he should’ve read the entries sooner, maybe to reflect or something. It made him emotional knowing how hopeful middle school Jeremy was, and how he now felt like he had completely let down his past self. Jeremy looked over at his nightstand, reaching for a pen. He clicked the spring and started scribbling on the back of the page, which was empty because Jeremy didn’t like writing on the backs and fronts of paper.

_Dear Jeremy,_

_No, you didn’t make any more friends, but you need to appreciate Michael more. He just wants what’s best for you. He is going to be there for you time and time and time again._

_In eleventh grade, you end up making a huge mistake. You lose sight of what’s important, just because you want to have more friends. To be popular._

_You... You start dating Christine. You don’t like her like you thought you did. You’re right, you do have a crush on Michael._

_You have a few new friends, but only because they feel sorry about the whole incident that you ended up causing. You don’t really deserve all of your new friends, so I wouldn’t get too happy or hopeful._

_But Michael is still here. After you constantly told him that you wished you had more friends, after you ignored him for months because you wanted to be more popular, after he listened to you complain about being lonely when he was RIGHT THERE._

Jeremy was being racked by sobs at that point. 

_Why can’t you just be more grateful? You should’ve held onto that crush you definitely had on Michael. You need to stop taking him for granted! You have to wake up and realize that you don’t just like girls. You don’t just like Michael, you–_

He stopped, panting and feeling hot as tears rolled hotly down his cheeks and onto the paper. Jeremy adjusted himself on his bed, setting the notebook down on his lap and propping his head up as he looked down at the paper. 

Jeremy felt weird, blaming his middle school self for all of his current problems. It’s not like he could do anything about it back then, because who knew that Jeremy would be so desperate for attention besides Michael’s that he took a pill to make himself more popular? How did he even have friends after all of that? What did he do to deserve Michael’s unconditional love? 

He couldn’t ignore Michael anymore.

Without considering the time, Jeremy threw his legs over the side of the bed, the notebook flying out of his lap and onto the floor, along with the pen. He leapt to his feet and grabbed his phone and his keys off of his desk, nearly forgetting his wallet as he made a dash for the front door. No shoes.

He had to talk to Michael.


	6. Chapter 6

Why was someone tapping at his window? Or was it even someone? Maybe it was just a tree. It had been pretty windy lately, anyways. 

Michael stayed in bed, too scared to look at what was going on at his window. His eyes starting falling shut again, because he was _so_ fucking tired. The banging stopped, so he decided to go to sleep hoping that it had just been a branch or something. 

Before he could fall back asleep, his phone started buzzing. He always left his phone on silent, but kept the vibrating option on. He moaned in frustration and reached out to turn off the phone, thinking that maybe it was just a wrong number. When it kept buzzing and buzzing and Michael couldn’t turn it off, he almost screamed and shot up out of bed, grabbing his phone to shut it off. Just as he was about to press the red decline button, he read the caller ID. 

“Jeremy?” Michael whispered into the phone, too tired to speak at a discernible volume.

Jeremy’s breathing was irregular and came hard and fast. The sound alone was enough to make Michael blush severely. “M-Michael, I’m at your window, I have to talk to you. Right now,” he managed to say, and Michael could tell he had been running or something. 

Michael furrowed his brow. “Uh, okay? It’s kinda late...” he muttered, rubbing his eye sleepily. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I have to talk to you. Open your fucking window, I don’t want to wake your mom up by unlocking and opening your front door,” Jeremy explained quickly, knocking at Michael’s window again.

Wait, Jeremy was _there_? Michael froze. His heartbeat rocked his body. “A-Are you knocking at my window?” he asked, still confused. What was it with Jeremy’s unannounced morning arrivals? It was so early. 

“Yes, open the window. I need to talk to you _right now_ ,” Jeremy urged, still tapping at Michael’s window. 

Michael slipped out of bed, forgetting that he wasn’t wearing a shirt, and shuffled to his window. Sure enough, at his window, against the dark, black night, Michael could make out Jeremy’s tall, lean figure. His phone illuminated half of his face, since it was still pressed against his face. Though there was a small tree outside Michael’s window, it wasn’t nearly big enough to be able to make noises like that against his window. 

He unlatched the window’s lock and slid it up, noting that he didn’t have a screen on his window for some reason. “Is everything okay?” Michael asked, his voice echoing back at him through his phone since he was standing right across from Jeremy.

Jeremy looked like he had been crying.

”Can I come in? We need to talk,” Jeremy insisted, taking Michael’s stunned silence as a yes. He hung up on Michael and propped himself up, pushing himself through Michael’s window and bumping into him as he stumbled through the opening. 

Michael’s phone was still at his ear, shaking as he stared at Jeremy. He was still very confused. 

Hadn’t Jeremy been avoiding him for a week?

Jeremy turned around and shut the window, locking it again, and then turning back to Michael, who had backed up a little bit. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to find the right words to say. He needed to say something. He couldn’t let this go. 

“Michael, I...” he started, choking up a little bit. “I don’t know how to say this. I guess I’ll, uh, you may wanna, er, sit down. This is gonna be a little bit, uh, a lot?” Michael blinked hard a few times, lowering his phone. What was happening? Was he still sleeping? 

Nevertheless, Michael walked backwards, feeling around for his computer chair. When he found it, he fell backwards, still tired and feeling very naked all of a sudden. 

Sensing this, Jeremy reached for Michael’s comforter and tossed it to him. He sat down at the foot of Michael’s bed, gesturing to the lamp as if to ask for permission to turn it on. Michael couldn’t see what Jeremy was doing, but since he didn’t say anything, Michael just nodded. A light illuminated Jeremy’s face, and Michael suddenly woke up a little more. 

His hair was a disheveled mess, which didn’t bother Michael at all. Seriously, even sleepy Michael could appreciate his best friend’s unintentional attractiveness. 

“Okay. First of all, I’m so sorry for avoiding you for the past week. That wasn’t okay, like, at all. I don’t know how I did, or how I managed so much time without you. I guess I’m here now, I cracked,” Jeremy stumbled over his words, not sure how to tell Michael that hey, it turns out that he actually loves him too. 

Michael shifted and wiggled under his blanket, trying to brace himself for impact. He knew this could go one of two ways, and he at least wanted to be comfortable when whatever news Jeremy had for him was delivered. 

“I guess I’ll, uh, start at the beginning. When we were in gym last week, uh, Rich came over to me and started talking. A lot. About you and how amazing you are and how, uh, blind I am – was – that I couldn’t see how lucky I was. Am,” Jeremy continued shakily, growing anxious when Michael furrowed his brow at him. “Um... Yeah, well, of course I know I’m lucky to have you in my life. I couldn’t ask for anyone more loving and caring...

”Yeah, but, anyways, he made me think a lot. Then he went to talk to you, like, after he came back to your side or whatever. I watched you two talk, and you got angry, but I don’t know why. I still don’t know why. Had Rich said something bad? Was he telling you how I reacted?” 

Jeremy hadn’t really meant it as a serious question; it was more rhetorical. Despite that, Michael answered, “Uh, no, um... He, uh, t-told me that you felt a certain way about me. I guess I got upset that he had talked to you about how I felt, even though I already told you.” It didn’t explain a lot, but Jeremy wasn’t paying attention. 

“Okay, well, yeah... So you went to the bathroom. I was wondering if everything was okay, but I started thinking a lot about what Rich said, and I decided to check on you. I was gonna see if you were o-okay? If you needed to talk or something?” Jeremy stuttered, “Yeah. And then I lost all of my training or whatever and kissed you. You just looked so... I just, I wanted you. I _want_ you. I’ve been thinking about how I don’t like Christine anymore, how it wasn’t what I thought it was gonna be.”

Michael could barely breathe. It hurt his chest to hear Jeremy struggle so much with his words.

Jeremy took a breath and continued, trying to calm himself. He shifted uncomfortably and said, “I was, uh, reading my diary. You can make fun of me for it later. But I was reading it, and I’ve had it since middle school. Every entry I read mentioned you. Just you. Just me and you. Just me thinking you were cute, me _actually writing_ that I had a crush on you, that I told you that I liked Christine just so you would tell me who you liked. I guess I said it so much I believed it, and...”

He stopped. Was Michael starting to cry? Jeremy considered asking, but his voice faltered, and seeing Michael cry made him tear up. Sappy, yeah. 

“S-Sorry, keep going,” Michael choked, wiping at his nose. 

Jeremy nodded, continuing. “And I started to like her. Or ‘like’ her. I look back at this week, look back at how I interact with her, and that’s not love. I don’t like PDA with her because I get embarrassed. I think about doing things like that with you and suddenly... Suddenly, the embarrassment fades away. I feel _good_ about it, I _want_ you.” 

Michael felt really stupid when he couldn’t think of anything to say. So many questions ran through his mind, but they were fleeting thoughts that he couldn’t grasp at. 

“But I thought you were straight,” he said stupidly, and Jeremy laughed through his tears. “I... I don’t know, Michael,” he admitted, sniffling, “I know that I like girls. I know that I like you. I know that right now, if you even still like me after this huge fucking mess, I would date the _fuck_ outta you.”  Michael couldn’t even keep up. Just earlier, he had been writing a diary entry about how scared he was that he’d lose Jeremy, and he’d rather have Jeremy as a friend than not at all. 

He couldn’t think of anything to say.

Instead, Jeremy watched as Michael cleared his throat and turned around in his chair. He opened his laptop and opened a word document file. He sniffled and started scrolling through the pages, landing on what Jeremy thought was a random one. 

“ _Dear Diary,_ ” Michael read, voice shaking and constantly choking on wet tears, “ _I am in love with my best friend. This is something that I’ve been thinking about for a long time, and I thought that if I didn’t write it down, it’d help the feeling go away. But this feeling won’t..._ ”

Michael stopped momentarily, taking a deep breath. 

“ _This feeling won’t go away. I can’t stop thinking about how perfect he is. Jeremy is smart, he’s funny, he’s kind and thoughtful. He’s so cute, and he’s tall, and I love his hair and his freckles and his big ears and his blue, blue eyes. I stare at him when he doesn’t see me, and I know that I love him because him not paying attention to me the way I want him to makes me love him more. I know I love him because I would do anything for him. I’m positive that I’m in love with him because I couldn’t imagine life without him._  

“ _This... This feeling is unnatural,”_ Michael continued, scrolling down a bit, _“It’s supposed to be unnatural, but to me, it feels normal. I’ve known for a long time that I have no interest in girls. Boys are the only type of people I want to be in a relationship with. I’m in seventh grade, and that sounds too mature even for me, but I know who I am in that aspect. That’s a new word I learned today. I think it fits well here. I know that I love Jeremy, and I know that he doesn’t like me back. He definitely likes that Christine girl, but thank goodness she doesn’t sit at our table anymore. I enjoy having my best friend to... to myself. I’ll keep you updated on this situation. I hope things change. I need to get over myself. Yours Truly, Me._ ” 

Jeremy and Michael sat in silence for several moments. It wasn’t an awkward silence, per se, but rather a reflective one. 

Personally, the only thought on Jeremy’s mind was regret about why he hadn’t realized all of this sooner. He didn’t know who he was, but he didn’t have to. He had Michael to help him, but he knew he loved Michael anyways. 

Michael was a blushing mess. He was in total shock. He suddenly was overcome with gratitude that he had confessed to Jeremy when he did, just wishing he has done it sooner. 

“S-So, what does this mean?” Jeremy piped up, his voice a little squeaky and still tearful. Michael bit his bottom lip and rolled it between his teeth. What were they? He didn’t even know what to do with this information. 

Instead of trying and failing to choose words to describe how he felt, Michael stood up and walked over to Jeremy, sitting down beside him. Jeremy shifted as Michael approached him, facing his friend and smiling sadly. 

Once Michael adjusted, he brought a hand up to Jeremy’s cheek and leaned in to kiss him, which Jeremy returned eagerly. He turned to putty at Michael’s touch. It was their first _real_ kiss that both of them had shared, sharing the same intention and same passion. Jeremy brought both of his hands up and around Michael’s neck, and Michael shivered at how cool Jeremy’s hands felt against his hot skin. 

It was suddenly very hot.

Michael continued kissing Jeremy, placing his other hand on Jeremy’s face and pulling him closer. He wanted to stay like this forever. Michael took Jeremy’s bottom lip between his own lips, his eyes fluttering slightly as he deepened the kiss. Without warning, and a little too suddenly even for his own liking, Michael pulled back, not moving his hands. Jeremy whimpered quietly. 

“I... I want _this_. I want to be like this forever, to kiss you, to hold your hand around other people and in private. To go on dates and make out and _do things_ together. I want to make memories with you as more than best friends. I want to _be_ with you,” Michael mused, placing a gentle kiss on Jeremy’s tender mouth. He was super sensitive after all of that action. 

Jeremy smiled and started tearing up again. He played with the ends of Michael’s hair. “I want to be with you too. I love this. I love you,” he said, and he could swear that the weight of all of his problems completely disappeared. 

He knew that this was going to be a confusing journey, and that he was learning more about himself every day, but Jeremy was just thankful that he’d have Michael to learn with. 

Michael kissed Jeremy’s forehead, and Jeremy kissed Michael on the mouth again. He couldn’t get enough. They kissed for several more minutes until realizing that they should probably get some sleep before school that day.

Jeremy slept with his head in the crook of Michael’s armpit. Michael smelled good. He smelled like coconut body wash and like... Michael. Jeremy had a newfound appreciation for the smell. 

Though he knew that sorting things out with Christine and everyone later on that day would be a bit messy, Jeremy could only revel in the fact that he had something new going for him. He was so much happier. He didn’t ever want it to end. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had too much fun writing this fluff smh, I love my boys 
> 
> ik like no one is really keeping up w this story, but I’d love comments and constructive criticism (mainly nice comments screaming at how much you ship boyf riends bc same) and yea I hope you’re all well <3 
> 
> ps this isn’t over!!
> 
> xofaith


	7. Chapter 7

Mr. Heere looked up from his newspaper as Jeremy and Michael quietly sneaked through the door. Though Jeremy didn’t have a curfew, his dad wasn’t a big fan of him leaving the house without telling him where he was going. 

Jeremy caught sight of his dad out of the corner of his eye, leading Michael into the house by the hand. Mr. Heere cleared his throat and looked at the two expectedly, raising his eyebrows. “Morning, kiddos,” he said, slightly sarcastically. 

Michael had half the mind to let go of Jeremy’s hand, but Jeremy’s grip only tightened. “We... I stayed at Michael’s,” was all Jeremy had to say in reply, and then pulled Michael to his room without another word. Mr. Heere hadn’t even registered the fact that his son was holding hands with someone other than Christine, but he didn’t think too hard about it. 

“Uh, are you not gonna tell your dad?” Michael asked quietly, still tired from his lack of sleep. Jeremy and him had planned on skipping, but Jeremy insisted that he needed to catch up on his class work. “Yeah,” Jeremy stated simply, opening his bedroom door. “It’s not really a breakfast conversation, Michael.” 

Jeremy let go of Michael’s hand to change for school, not caring to tell Michael to turn around and not look. However, Michael was too polite to stare, so he pretended to look at a suddenly very interesting loose string on his jacket. “O-Okay,” Michael replied, pulling at the string. When him and Jeremy had woken up that morning, Michael’s mom was already out at work, so he didn’t have a chance to tell her. She already knew that he was gay, and she’d be ecstatic to know that he started dating Jeremy. 

Upon seeing Michael’s face, Jeremy stopped midway pulling his pants up. “I mean... We can tell him, if you wanna,” he said softly, offering a smile. Michael let his gaze wander to Jeremy’s pale body, a deeper appreciation for his best friend – boyfriend – surfacing. 

Jeremy smirked. “Like what you see?” he teased, and Michael blushed. It wasn’t like him to back away from flirting like that, so he was a bit confused. 

“Y-Yeah, God yes,” Michael chuckled, running his hand through his hair. Jeremy smiled and pulled his pants all the way up, having a hard time buttoning them because he was very shaky and aware of Michael’s glaring. “More where that came from,” Jeremy promised, pulling a shirt over his head. Michael pouted slightly, because he had been admiring the freckles that danced across Jeremy’s bare torso. 

It should’ve been illegal to be so cute. 

Michael shifted slightly on Jeremy’s bed, looking down and seeing an open book on the ground. He leaned down to pick it up, not intending to be nosy. Jeremy caught him and winced, not ready to let Michael read all of the embarrassing accounts of his childhood yet. He still needed some privacy. 

Jeremy plucked the notebook from Michael’s hand and shoved it into a drawer in his computer desk. 

“Nah-ah-ah, I, uh, wanna wait for the right time to show you that,” Jeremy peeped, and Michael giggled. “It’s fine, sorry, I didn’t wanna be nosy. Besides, I don’t need to read Jeremy’s twink diary, that’s private.”

His boyfriend turned very red and pulled on his cardigan. “I... I don’t even know what a twink _is_ ,” he whined, and Michael stood up to stretch. He walked over to Jeremy and pulled him to his chest, bringing a hand up to Jeremy’s hair to play with it. “Not yet, you don’t. Jeremy Heere, you’re a hardcore twink, not gonna lie,” he informed Jeremy, who nuzzled into Michael’s hoodie. 

“If you say so, I believe you,” Jeremy remarked, laughing. “I guess I’m a twink.”

Michael snorted at the statement and got a pair of socks for Jeremy. “You betcha. I think you should definitely tell Rich that you’re a twink. He’d be... overjoyed,” he suggested, not actually being serious. 

Mr. Heere suddenly threw open the door, causing the boys to flinch. “Tell Rich what?” he asked, not caring if he was overstepping. He came in to ruffle his son’s hair, and Michael’s hair. Jeremy swatted his hair away. 

“Nothing, dad,” Jeremy mumbled, and his dad looked at his cardigan. “Still wearing that thing?” he asked, and Jeremy growled angrily. “Dad, _go_ , I have to go to school,” he retorted, and Mr. Heere rolled his eyes. However, he complied. Before he left the room, he stopped in the doorway. 

“Anything you boys wanna tell me?” he snooped, glancing at Michael’s hands pointedly. Jeremy shook his head irritably, but Michael elbowed him and glared. 

Jeremy sighed. “Yeah, fine. I’m a twi–“

”He’s, uh, we’re dating,” Michael interrupted quickly, not knowing whether or not Mr. Heere even knew what a twink was. It took everything he had to not laugh. 

Mr. Heere pretended to act surprised. “Wh-What? My son? Gay?” Jeremy huffed, not wanting to start a problem by trying to explain his sexuality. 

“No. I think I’m bi. Speaking of, bye,” Jeremy ended the conversation, marching out the door, past his dad, and grabbing his shoes from the rack as he passed. 

Michael shot Mr. Heere an apologetic look, and then followed Jeremy. Before he left, Mr. Heere grabbed Michael’s arm and spun him around, pulling him in for a hug. “Thanks, Michael,” he said heartily. “I couldn’t think of a better fit.” Awkwardly, Michael pat Mr. Heere’s back. 

“Y-Yeah, no problem.”

With that, Mr. Heere let him go and waved, letting Michael catch up with his son. Boy, was he a proud Papa Bear. 

Michael saw Jeremy waiting impatiently by the door. “I’m driving,” he stated, grabbing his keys out of his cardigan pocket. Michael didn’t care, as long as he could hold Jeremy’s hand on the ride to school. Though Jeremy had only just gotten his license, he liked to drive as much as possible, especially since Michael always made fun of the fact that he didn’t have as much experience as him. 

“Shotgun!” Michael called as he bolted past Jeremy, leaving his boyfriend confused. No one else was driving with them. Michael had a weird sense of humor. 

Jeremy just shook his head and locked the door behind him, running down the steps and walking to the driver’s side. He slipped in and noticed Michael’s hand twitching slightly on the center console. “What’s that for?” Jeremy joked, slamming the door shut and pulling his seatbelt over his chest. He slid the key into the ignition and turned his car on, which wasn’t in any better quality than Michael’s beat up PT Cruiser. 

“Because I want to hold hands with my boyfriend,” Michael said matter-of-factly, tapping his finger against the car and staring at Jeremy. 

He stuck out his lower lip and pretended to pout. 

Jeremy smiled, but secretly loved seeing Michael so needy. “Fine, I guess,” he gave in, turning Michael’s hand over and intertwining their fingers. Michael smiled, satisfied, and looked out the window. Jeremy didn’t want them to be late, and he really did need to make up work. 

And break up with Christine. 

And come out to his friend group. 

As he started overthinking the possibile outcomes and consequences he’d have to face by dating Michael, his heart rate increased slightly. Would Christine hate him? Jeremy wanted to stay friends, but he just couldn’t date her anymore. 

Would his friends think he was weird? He knew that pretty much no one he knew was straight, but it still bothered him that he’d had a sudden change of heart when it came to his sexuality. 

Jeremy’s heart sank as a familiar, dull ache thumped against the back of his head. He had hoped that it’d be a good day, no SQUIP, but he knew better than that. Nothing great could come Jeremy’s way without some type of negativity. 

 _ **J-Jeremy wha-at-t-t are you doi-ing?**_ a voice at the back of his head crackled, and Jeremy took a deep breath as he made a turn. 

 _I’m making myself happy. I’m finally content_ , Jeremy thought at the voice, trying hard to focus on the road. 

His head really hurt. 

Every so often, his SQUIP would come back. He couldn’t actually see the SQUIP, but a few offhand comments would come from the back of his mind periodically. It wasn’t too irritating, but it usually happened when he was overthinking. 

 _ **Yeah, o-okay. You li-iked Christine. What h-happened? Mich-chael is a lo-oser**_ , the SQUIP jeered, his voice cracking occasionally. _I love him_ , Jeremy argued, stopping at a traffic light. 

 _ **Apparently. Just d-don’t fu-ck it up**_ , the voice faded, but Jeremy’s headache didn’t go away. He was just glad to be able to think by himself. 

“Whatcha thinkin’ about? You’re awfully quiet,” Michael inquired, tilting his head at Jeremy. He rubbed small circles against Jeremy’s pale hand with his thumb. Jeremy took a deep breath. “N-Nothing, just about how much I love you.”

Michael blushed, but he knew that look. The SQUIP had been bothering Jeremy again. 

He hummed and scratched his neck. “What’d he say?” Jeremy sighed and slumped against his seat. The light changed colors. “Not much. He didn’t protest or anything. Didn’t try anything,” he replied blandly, blinking rapidly. His headache was starting to dissipate.

”Good. I’m sorry that we can’t do anything about it,” Michael apologized, thankful that he had never experienced the type of control the SQUIP held over its hosts. All of the people he knew – Rich, Jake, Brooke, Christine, Chloe, Jenna – they all suffered the aftershock of having a computer controlling their brains. Michael hadn’t been infected, so he couldn’t relate. However, from what Jeremy said, there could be good and bad days. He hadn’t had any bad days lately, and Michael prayed that that streak didn’t end. 

Jeremy shrugged. “‘S’not your fault, hon. I mean Michael,” he screwed up his nose, wondering where that had come from. 

Michael smirked, gazing lovingly at Jeremy. “Aw, cute. I love pet names, _Jere-Bear_ ,” he teased, and Jeremy tensed up. “I... I can play this game, Bichael. I mean, Meow-chael. Uh, Dyke-ael?” he tried and failed, and Michael threw his head back in laughter. 

Jeremy grew red and embarrassed. “Wh-Whatever.”

———

Rich and Jake looked at Michael and Jeremy in shock as the two best friends shared a kiss before Jeremy left for his first class. Rich looked at Jake, then at Michael. 

“What the _fuck_?” Rich squeaked, surprised that Jeremy-I’m-straight-and-very-in-love-with-my-girlfriend-Heere had kissed a gay boy. Michael jumped a bit and turned quickly to face his... acquaintance. 

Completely forgetting that he had just kissed Jeremy in the middle of the school hallway, Michael looked at Rich in confusion. “Good morning to you too?” he asked quietly, shutting his locker after taking his Economics book out. Rich exchanged a glance with Jake, then both of them looked back at Michael. 

“Not sure if we’re both imagining things,” Jake said, leaning against his crutch, “But you did just kiss Jeremy Heere, yes? Jeremy, the straight theatre nerd who is most definitely dating Christine Canigula?”

Michael stopped moving. He stopped breathing. His body forgot how to... body. 

Rich smiled widely, leaning back on his heels. “Michael! That’th amathing! We gotta thelebrate!” he screeched, and Michael shushed him. “R-Rich, I don’t need to come out to everyone at the same time, not this early,” he hissed, trying to pass Rich so that he could get to class. 

“Nah-ah,” Rich tutted, and Michael grew embarrassed again. “What happened? How did you convinthe him to date you and break up with Chrithtine? Oh, are you holding him hothtage? Kinky. Me and Jake do that thometimeth.” Jake swiftly punched Rich’s shoulder at that comment, but didn’t confirm nor deny it. 

Michael bit his tongue, but figured he may as well tell someone. He was really excited about dating Jeremy, so it wasn’t like he’d be able to keep it a secret for long. Besides, Jeremy was okay with people knowing; it’d make telling Christine easier. “Uh, he didn’t break up with her. Yet,” he added as an afterthought after seeing the boys’ confused looks. “He, uh, broke into my house this morning and we talked. Then we kissed. A lot. I’m not holding him hostage. Yet. He’ll get a taste of Michael’s collection of kinks soon.” He had to add the last comment as a personal touch. 

Rich rolled his eyes and leaned against his open locker. He had a bottom locker, perfect for his height, so he rocked against it with ease. “Thpithy,” he commented, looking at Jake for backup. “Yeah, uh, spicy. So, when is Jeremy planning on breaking up with Christine?” his boyfriend furthered, and Michael just shrugged. 

“I need to get to class. Talk to him.” 

Michael walked past the two and to Economics. 

———

Jeremy stood outside of the classroom door, knowing that he shared this class with Christine. He stared blankly at the room number and took a deep breath. He didn’t think that Christine had made it into the room yet, his suspicion confirmed by a small tap on his shoulder. 

He turned around quickly and looked down at Christine, who looked very concerned. “Morning, Jere,” she said quietly, reaching up to kiss Jeremy’s cheek. He awkwardly watched as she retracted and twiddled her thumbs. 

“Everything okay?” he prompted, and Christine exhaled harshly. 

“Uh, actually, I gotta tell you something,” she admitted, and Jeremy lost the ability to breathe. Shit. 

Nevertheless, he nodded shakily. “Yeah, uh, me too.” Christine held up a finger. “Me first. Uh, I’ve known for a long time,” she said softly, and Jeremy swallowed hard. Had she really sensed his distance from her? Did she know he didn’t like her anymore? 

“Uh, I’m so sorry, I was gonna tell you, um,” he stuttered, but Christine held a finger up again. “Don’t interrupt,” she sighed again. “Well, remember how I told Madeline, my friend, that we had an active sex life when she questioned you and Michael being together? Well, I don’t know why I said that. I panicked. I wanted to say sorry. I, uh, know that you’re a _very_ sexual person Jeremy. Just like every other teenage boy. But, uh, I can’t help you in that aspect.” 

Jeremy furrowed his brow. What was she saying? 

“Yeah, I’m asexual,” Christine said decisively, almost like she was convincing herself. It was weird to hear her so unsure of something, because Christine was always very confident in herself and her identity. “Yes. I’m asexual. I don’t experience sexual arousal, but that doesn’t change my romantic feelings about you, so don’t worry. I know that some asexuals still, uh, have sex with their partners, but I don’t think I’m ready for that step.” Jeremy was shocked, and then felt very guilty. He tried not to overthink the whole “I still have romantic feelings for you” thing. 

He nodded and smiled, trying to demonstrate that he accepted her for who she was. Right before he told her he didn’t want to date anymore. “Okay, whew, I feel better,” she said happily, clasping her hands together. “So, what did you want to say?” 

Jeremy opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by someone slapping his back. He jumped and spun around, glaring at whoever had hit him. 

Rich.

”Dude, congrathulathionth! I’m tho glad you came to your thentheth. No offenthe, Chrithtine.” Jeremy’s chest tightened. His heart got caught in his throat. His head started spinning. 

_Crap, crap, crap, crap._

Christine shook her head and gave Rich and Jeremy a confused look. “None taken? What’s happening? Congrats on what?” Rich’s smile disappeared, and he let his mouth fall open. 

“Uh, no-nothing,” he recovered quickly, feeling guilty and at a loss for words. That was very unlike him. 

Jeremy couldn’t think straight. This wasn’t how he wanted to do it. He didn’t want to tell Christine that he had “cheated” on her or that he was breaking up with her for Michael. That would ruin everything, especially after what she had just said. 

“Jeremy? Jeremy, what’s going on?” she asked cautiously, reaching out to put a hand on his arm. He pulled away instinctively, making the situation worse. “I...” he tried, throat drying up and swelling shut. 

He stepped back again, but Christine grabbed him. “U-Uh, it is something I said? I’m so sorry, um,” she stuttered, confused at how anything she had just said would make Jeremy react like this. 

Jeremy started sweating, and he opened his mouth to say something. “No, no, it’s not that! Uh, no, it’s not that at all. It’s just, um, what I have to say is very poorly timed, and I didn’t want to have to do this right now...” he panted, looking around for any excuse not to have this conversation.

It dawned upon Jeremy. “You’re breaking up with me?” she asked, hushed, in tune with Jeremy’s blurting of “I’m breaking up with you!” 

Silence. 

Christine tried to open her mouth a few times to say something, but for once, nothing came out. Did he want to break up because she didn’t want to have sex with him? Was she not enough? Did she drive him away? Her thoughts raced as the teacher opened the classroom door, instructing both of them to come in and sit down. 

Jeremy felt like he was going to pass out. Of course his seat was right by Christine’s, as assigned by the teacher. Well, Christine had talked the teacher into letting them sit together. 

They awkwardly sat next to each other, sitting on opposite sides of their seats. As the day started, and after they had said the pledge, Jeremy couldn’t think straight. He couldn’t pay attention to the lesson. He kept glancing at Christine, trying to think about what was running through her head. Jeremy realized that he had told her right after she told him she didn’t want to have sex, so maybe that’s why she was reacting the way she was. 

He stupidly decided to write her a note. 

Jeremy pulled out a small notebook and ripped out a page, making sure to peel off the perforated edge off of the paper. The process was a little noisy, but he decided that it was important he founded their new friendship on trust. 

_Christine –_

_I’m sorry that I broke up with you at such a questionable time. I swear it has nothing to do with your sexuality. Instead, it has to do with mine..._

He took a breath and wondered if that would make things worse. Whatever, it didn’t matter. 

_I don’t want to continue being in a relationship that’s not working. We argue a lot. I don’t treat you how I should. You should find someone smarter, someone nicer, someone who likes you more. That sounds insensitive, I’m sorry, but... I gotta tell you the truth. I’m dating Michael. Or, I’m going to. I wanted to break up with you before, and I’m sorry it had to come up like this. It’s not okay._

Jeremy definitely knew that that was insensitive. He kept writing anyways.

_I don’t know how to say this, but I gotta come out too! I’m bisexual I think, or maybe I just like Michael. I liked you a lot, but not the way I should. I’m sorry._

_If you’re okay with it, I wanna stay friends! And remember, it’s not because you’re asexual or because you’re not enough._

_From, Jeremy_

Not happy but satisfied with the way that it had turned out, he slipped the note to Christine as discreetly as possible. 

Apparently not discreetly enough. 

Mr. Greene, his AP World History teacher, turned around just in time to see Jeremy slipping Christine a sheet of paper. “Mr. Heere,” he said hoarsely, and Jeremy froze up. He looked up at him like a deer caught in headlights. 

“S-Sir?” he squeaked, his voice cracking. 

Christine took the note off of the desk and slipped it into her pocket, looking from Jeremy to Mr. Greene. Every other student stared at Jeremy intensely.

”May I ask what was so important to tell Miss Canigula that you had to interrupt my class?” Mr. Greene inquired, and Jeremy shrunk back into his seat.

”N-Nothing,” he said quickly, growing red and getting very sweaty. 

Mr. Greene looked at Christine, crossing his arms. “Please bring the note to me,” he said, but Christine sat firm. “Sorry sir, I can’t do that,” she said quietly, not used to challenging authority.

The teacher raised his eyebrows I’m surprise. “Christine, now. I’ll send you to the office.” 

Christine didn’t move. Jeremy glared at her. “Christine,” he urged, red but not wanting her to get in trouble. She looked at him and caved, sighing. She took the note, which she hadn’t even read, out of her pocket, and brought it up to Mr. Greene. Intent on making an example out of the two, he pushed it back at her. 

“You read it. To the class.”

Jeremy groaned, hot tears forming at the corner of his eyes. This was a complete invasion of his privacy, and though he knew he wasn’t supposed to pass notes during class, it was still a bit much. 

Christine looked at Jeremy, concerned, but Jeremy just blinked and looked out the window. 

“Isn’t that a bit much?” she asked Mr. Greene, all eyes on her. Mr. Greene shrugged. “You two know the consequences of passing notes. It’s a disruption.”

Christine scoffed. 

“ _This_ is a disruption. We’ve wasted five minutes talking about this note when you could’ve let it go and not interrupted your class,” she retorted, and Jeremy looked up at her.

Despite breaking up with her and her not even knowing why, why was Christine still standing up for him? 

Mr. Greene shot daggers at Christine with his angry stare. “You’re going to the office after you read this,” he hissed, and Christine pulled the letter up to her chest. 

“Christine,” she said, trying to read ahead so she could make something up. Mr. Greene stood close behind her, reading over her shoulder. She did her best to block his view. 

Just when Jeremy thought that things couldn’t get worse, Mr. Greene scowled at the letter and snatched it from Christine’s grip. Christine looked from Jeremy to Mr. Greene helplessly, but she had read enough of the letter to know where this was going. 

Their school wasn’t homophobic, but both her and Jeremy’s sexuality was disclosed in that note. It was humiliating, and Christine knew that her not wanting to have sex wasn’t nearly as embarrassing as Jeremy admitting that he liked a boy. Mr. Greene leaned over to Christine and apparently told her to return to her seat, because she quietly padded back to her desk. Jeremy had started crying at some point, his face hot, his tears making cool streaks down his cheeks. 

Christine didn’t know how to help, so she sat there quietly and put a reassuring hand on Jeremy's arm. 

“I’m sorry, class, you’ll have to excuse me,” Mr. Greene mumbled to himself, looking up at Jeremy. “Heere, come with me.” 

Mr. Greene walked to the intercom buzzer and buzzed the front office. 

“Yes?” an unseen voice crackled. Jeremy rubbed his eyes feverishly and stood up. God, he was so embarrassed. He was shaking so hard he couldn’t think. He wouldn’t get in trouble, but the fact that his social studies teacher was now aware of a very personal situation and had put Jeremy and Christine in such an uncomfortable situation made him want to crawl into a hole. 

“I need to talk to a student for a while. It’s important. Please just send someone down here to watch my class for a little,” Mr. Greene requested gently, and Jeremy trailed behind him as he left his class. 

The two of them stood awkwardly outside the classroom as they waited for a substitute to step in. The school’s counselor appeared around the corner and gave Mr. Greene a confused look, but walked into the room to watch the kids for him. Mr. Greene didn’t say anything as he led Jeremy out the back of the school and to a bench that looked over the patchy green grass that separated the gym and the school. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Mr. Greene read over the note again. 

Jeremy couldn’t stop crying. His sobs racked him silently, but the occasional sniffle told his teacher that he had severely overstepped.

”Jeremy,” Mr. Greene started apologetically, handing the letter to Jeremy. He just shook his head and wiped at his nose. “I’m... I’m really sorry about all of that. I definitely, uh, overstepped back there. I didn’t mean to make such a scene. I just want to give you some advice in exchange for you not reporting me to human services or whoever is in charge of firing nosy teachers.”

Jeremy groaned to himself and slid down in the bench, refusing to look up from his shaking hands. He was too embarrassed and confused at the whole situation, which had started and developed too quickly. 

Mr. Greene cleared his throat. “Um, I read that you, uh, like that Mell kid?” he said softly, and Jeremy inhaled shakily. “He’s a great kid. He likes you a lot, I can tell. But you also said that, uh, Christine should find someone who’d treat her better? You really talked bad about yourself, and that made me upset. If you don’t like someone, it’s fine. You can own up to it. But this is one of those ‘it’s not me, it’s you’ situations. It’s not my place to tell you, but you shouldn’t doubt yourself like that. Don’t be upset because you like a dude. America is evolving!”

Jeremy cringed at the vague, completely misdirected advice. He knew that is was okay to like Michael. He didn’t need a middle-aged obese male to tell him that. However, he just wanted the conversation to end. “Yes, sir,” he muttered quietly, playing around with a loose string in his cardigan’s pocket. 

“Right. Uh, we should get back to class. Again, I’m sorry. I’ll make sure no one messes with you for all of this,” Mr. Greene promised emptily. Jeremy just nodded and stood up. 

“Can I actually go to the bathroom?” Jeremy asked shakily, to which Mr. Greene quickly replied, “Yes! Yeah, of course, please. Uh, you can take off the rest of class. Excused.” 

Jeremy quickly shuffled back to the classroom, ignoring the hot stares of his peers as he grabbed his backpack. He dropped the note on Christine’s lap. Before he could leave, she grabbed his arm.

“It’s okay,” she assured him, smiling softly. “I understand.”

Jeremy nodded slightly, smiling because at least he knew that Christine would be okay. In the meantime, he needed to go cry in the bathroom by himself for the rest of the period. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this took me too long to write, w literally no plot progression. I wanna have more fun w the next chapter ;)))
> 
> xofaith


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut warning!! 
> 
> ur not missing anything, feel free to skip :))

Michael finished his bellringer as quickly as he could. Economics was one of his most _boring_ classes, but at least they had a lot of work to do to keep them busy. 

The class was full of freshmen and seniors, so Michael felt a little out of place. It was mainly a schedule-filler, but it was a required class. Half of the year was to be spent taking Economics, and the next semester would be Government. He could barely focus on his class work that period, but knew that grades were important. 

Thinking about grades made him recall his conversation with Jeremy less than a week before, which seemed like _months_ ago, in which Jeremy almost had a meltdown because of his “low” SAT scores. Michael had gotten even lower, but he wasn’t distraught. Besides, he could just take the test again. He hadn’t had enough math to get a great score in the math section, but his reading and writing was fine. Even though he cared about his grades and standardized testing, he didn’t _really_ care. He’d rather spend his short life doing other things, things that he enjoyed. 

Next to him, Brooke chewed on the end of her pencil. Oh, right, Brooke was the only junior besides Michael in the class. She would’ve been in Gym, but had somehow managed to get a doctor’s note out of it. According to Jenna. 

“How did you already finish?” Brooke whined quietly, squinting at Michael’s paper. He huffed and passed her his paper. She smiled gratefully and copied down his bullshit answer. 

Michael felt his pocket vibrate. He pulled his phone out discreetly and tried to read the text without seeming too suspicious. 

**player 2:** _i need u to come to the bathroom by mr. greene’s room :((_

He bit his bottom lip and focused on the frowning faces. Was Jeremy okay? Michael couldn’t even start to imagine why Jeremy was upset, but he figured that it was pretty important. He raised his hand and asked the teacher if he could be excused to the bathroom, taking his bellringer from Brooke (to her dismay) and turning it in. 

Michael navigated his way through the empty hallway to Mr. Greene’s room. He hadn’t had the man as a teacher since last year, and he was glad. He always got weird vibes from the ex-baseball coach. He was very salty about his past career, so Michael didn’t hear much about the actual educational material during his classes. Instead, it was about false sexual misconduct accusations and annoying parents. Awkward. 

He reached the bathroom stalls and stepped inside, immediately hearing Jeremy’s sniffling. 

“Jerm?” Michael called softly, and he heard shuffling from behind the furthest stall. “Michael!” came the reply, and Jeremy all but threw the door open. He ran into his boyfriend’s arms and wiped his nose on Michael’s hoodie. Michael didn’t mind, but found it rather endearing. “Hey, hey, was wrong?” he cooed, running his hand through Jeremy’s hair and pressing his other hand into the small of Jeremy’s back. 

Jeremy hiccuped quietly and pressed himself closer into Michael. “It’s st-stupid,” he mumbled, shaking his head. Michael stepped back. “No, tell me,” he urged. The smaller boy sighed and rubbed away a tear. 

“I shouldn’t be crying, it’s v-very un-twinkish,” he joked, chuckling a little. Michael smiled and laughed too. “Clearly you haven’t done your research yet then.” 

His boyfriend shook his head. “No. U-Uh, so I broke up with Christine,” Jeremy said slowly. Michael’s smile faltered. “Oh? Did it go badly? Is she okay?” he asked, worried. Jeremy nodded at the second part. “No, she took it fine. S-So, before class started, she told me that she was asexual, but that it didn’t affect how she saw me. Like, she still liked me. Of course, bad timing. I started rethinking telling her, don’t give me that look, but then Rich came up behind me and, l-like, started congratulating me?” 

Michael winced slightly. His bad.

”Yeah, well Christine got confused, so I had to tell her I was breaking up with her. I had to sit by her in class, and it was kinda awkward. I thought that I should clarify that I didn’t break up with her because she couldn’t, uh, be with me sexually. So I wrote a note.

”Long story short-ish, Mr. Greene caught me passing the note, made a show of telling Christine to read it to the class, but took it when he saw that it was _kinda_ personal. Like, Christine hadn’t even read it yet, by the way. So he took me out of class and gave me like a pep-talk or something. I’m just so embarrassed. Everyone was staring and I started crying and now everyone probably thinks I’m more of a loser than they initially thought...” Jeremy explained tearfully, and Michael brought him back into an embrace.

It was very cliché.

Michael rested his head on top of Jeremy's. “Oh, Jere. I’m sure no one thought much of it. He didn’t even read it to them, so it could’ve been worse. I, uh, how is Christine then?” 

“Oh, she’s totally fine. She said she understood,” Jeremy added, and Michael felt his chest untighten slightly. At least Jeremy didn’t have to deal with an angry ex-girlfriend. Jeremy was still upset, though, and Michael wished he could help. 

Wait, couldn’t he?

Michael pulled back again and kissed Jeremy softly, catching him by surprise. He planted small kisses all over Jeremy’s face, making him giggle. “M-Michael, can we at l-least get a sta-all?” he suggested playfully, and Michael complied. He led them to the stall that Jeremy had come out of, never breaking his kisses. 

Jeremy’s muffled moans made Michael feel safe and... turned on? No, not during school, he couldn’t. He fumbled with the bathroom lock to make sure that no one waltzed in, which wouldn’t happen, but he couldn’t take any chances. He pressed Jeremy against the wall, pinning his arms above his head. Michael continued kissing Jeremy, deepening the kiss. He didn’t have to fight for dominance, because despite his joking and his teasing, Jeremy was definitely a submissive twink. Thank God.

Michael sucked on Jeremy's bottom lip, tightening his grip on Jeremy's wrists. Being in the school bathroom should’ve made him feel gross, but this was different. It was breaking the rules, it was _naughty_ , it was new. 

Fuck, did that turn Michael on.

Michael tried to readjust slightly, resting his knee against the wall between Jeremy’s legs. However, he knocked against something hard as he shifted, and he felt Jeremy suck in his breath slightly. Was Jeremy hard? _Shit_. 

“Oh my God,” Jeremy muttered into the kiss, embarrassed. “Sh-Shit, I, um...” Seeing Jeremy get so flustered about having a boner made Michael even hotter, and then he got an idea. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” Michael said softly, kissing Jeremy once more before he lowered his head to plant love bites down the side of Jeremy's neck. Jeremy made an “mmph” noise, but didn’t protest. He wasn’t worried about trying to cover them up, at least not in the moment. 

Michael let his grip shift from Jeremy’s hips, letting his fingers undo Jeremy’s pant button and zipper. At that, Jeremy let out a needy whimper, trying not to seem too awkward as he tangled his hands in Michael’s short hair. Michael couldn’t believe that he was about to suck off his boyfriend – who he hadn’t even been dating for twenty four hours – in a public school bathroom. People could walk in, hear them, see them... The possibilities worried Michael, but weren’t as important to him as giving Jeremy a blowjob. 

“Still good?” Michael reiterated, and Jeremy nodded quickly. He smiled and began palming Jeremy through his boxers. That made Jeremy even harder, which Michael first picked up on by the desperate moans that Jeremy tried to keep from surfacing. God, it was so wrong. 

Jeremy shook with anticipation as his boyfriend pulled down the elastic band of his boxers slightly and took him into his hand. All he could think was _fuck, fuck, shit, fuck_. He couldn’t believe that things had progressed so quickly. Hell, if he had known that Michael would be sucking his dick, he’d cry and hide in the bathroom more often. Michael looked up at Jeremy, his fluttering eyelids all he needed as encouragement. He pressed his tongue against the head of Jeremy’s member, pulling it down to lick a strip down the top of it. 

Michael wasn’t gonna lie; Jeremy was the whole package. He was well-endowed, for sure. Michael had never sucked dick, but he had watched plenty of videos in which dudes got blown. That should’ve been enough, right? 

His hand shook at the base of Jeremy's dick as he put his mouth around it, hollowing his cheeks and bobbing his head down. 

He gagged. Too far. 

Michael came back up, then moved back down, his eyes wandering up to see whether or not Jeremy was enjoying this. God, was he enjoying it. Jeremy was a fucking _mess_. He looked so hot like that, and Michael was proud that he had undone Jeremy like this. He focused on the task at hand, or rather in his hand. His let his other hand rest against Jeremy’s hipbone, looping his thumb through one of Jeremy’s belt loops.

“ _Sh-Shit_ , Micah, you’re so-o good,” Jeremy moaned quietly, pulling Michael in again. Though he’d probably never admit it, Michael thought that the way that Jeremy pulled at his hair needily and pushed him further down his cock was really fucking hot.

Michael hummed around him in response, the vibration sending chills through Jeremy’s body. Jeremy was so fucking close, hoping that he had lasted long enough. He started wondering where he was supposed to cum, because he didn’t want to force Michael to swallow his jizz. It was probably too soon in the relationship to do that.

”I, fuck, I’m close,” Jeremy struggled, his grip on Michael’s hair tightening. Michael had just built up a steady rhythm, but he was pleased with the fact that he had done this to his boyfriend. He continued for a few more seconds before Jeremy finished, hot liquid filling his mouth and making warm tears swell in Michael’s eyes. 

He was determined to swallow. 

Jeremy didn’t care where the cum was going, but he did revel in the fact that this was the best orgasm he had ever had. That was saying something, because he masturbated a _lot_. His head started to spin as small, embarrassing noises escaped his mouth. Michael pulled off of him with a deep breath, turned on and sweaty. Shit, he couldn’t believe that had done that. 

“I c-can’t believe we did that,” Michael gasped coarsely, breathing unsteadily as he pulled Jeremy’s underwear back over his dick, zipping up his pants and buttoning him up. He was desperate for these quiet moments, because he loved listening to Jeremy pant in the silence. 

Jeremy chuckled, licking his lips. “I know, d-damn. Oh, uh, I probably should’ve asked if you were okay with, er, swallowing my–“

”Nut? It’s fine. Besides, real gentlemen swallow,” Michael teased, and Jeremy turned a deeper shade of red. “Y-Yeah. I should cry in bathrooms more often,” he replied, his cheeks cold because of his dried tears. 

Michael chuckled and stood back up, his knees buckling momentarily. He tried to regain his balance, but Jeremy caught him, laughing. 

They heard a sink turn on, and the boys froze immediately. 

“Don’t mind me, gaylordth. That wath hot,” Rich’s voice came, and Jeremy and Michael cringed at each other. How had they not heard anyone come in? “Jutht let me know nexth time tho I’m not jutht here for Jere’th  _nut_. I wanna... enjoy the _whole_  thow,” Rich continued teasing. Had they been able to see him, they would’ve seen his quick wink at himself in the mirror.

 _Nithe_ , he thought to himself. 

Jeremy and Michael didn’t say anything as they heard Rich’s footsteps disappear, the door swing open, and then close. They started chucking again, and Jeremy helped Michael all the way up to his feet. 

“Your hair is a mess,” Jeremy noted playfully, licking his finger and trying to tidy his boyfriend’s hair. Though Michael wouldn’t get into his kinks yet, he secretly smiled to himself at the thought of how sweaty and messy he looked. 

“I don’t mind. Kiss me,” Michael instructed, leaning down to kiss Jeremy again. His boyfriend made a face, then wiped his mouth. “I just jizzed in your mouth. I don’t wanna taste my semen,” he protested, but Michael kissed him again anyways. 

“Get used to it, baby boy.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> old faith is back, writing gay smut. just this time it isn’t about mcr haha 
> 
> my ig is @trashonmars or @heereandqueere if u wanna chat!! 
> 
> xofaith


	9. Chapter 9

The rest of the school day went by uneventfully, much to Michael’s dismay. He stole the occasional kiss from Jeremy in the hallway, but he didn’t have any classes with him that day. However, it was Thursday. Close enough to the weekend. 

“Michael.” Michael turned around quickly, looking down at a short girl.

Christine. 

“Oh h-hi, Christine,” he said awkwardly, fiddling with his locker lock. She pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and gazed at Michael thoughtfully. “I’m happy for you and Jeremy. Uh, you have my blessing!” she joked, bowing dramatically. Michael snorted and rolled his eyes. “Thanks, mom. Uh, I hope this doesn’t make things even more awkward between us. I don’t think I’d be able to deal,” he admitted, eyes never parting from his lock. 

The girl nodded quickly. “Oh, yeah. I just wanna say... I saw this coming. Jeremy was in love with you. I think he didn’t wanna be, but it’s so obvious. I was, uh, jealous of you? I wished that Jeremy liked me as much as he liked you. Stupid, I know. But now that, er, I’m not dating him anymore...”

Michael closed his locker. “Let’s start over,” he offered, smiling softly. Christine returned his smile and stuck out her hand. Michael took it and shook it, relieved that she wasn’t too upset about the breakup. “Cool,” she said, moving her hand back to grab her backpack strap. “Well, friend, uh, see you tomorrow?” Michael nodded in response and pulled out his phone. Jeremy had texted him again, but this time just to tell him that he was in the car whenever Michael was done with class. Michael smiled to himself and slipped his phone back into his pocket, then made his way to the student parking lot. 

He saw Jeremy sitting in the passenger seat, picking at his fingernails. 

Cutie.

Upon seeing Michael, Jeremy smiled widely, and he leaned over to roll down Michael’s window. “Hi!” he said happily, and Michael grinned sweetly.

”Hey. Missed you,” he replied, opening his door and leaning over to plant a small kiss on Jeremy’s lips. 

Jeremy blushed and sat back down in his seat, resuming his nail trimming. “You just saw me at lunch,” he pointed out, but Michael shrugged and shut the door behind him. “So? I didn’t get you all to myself then. Rich insisted on embarrassing us, remember?” Jeremy blushed even harder as he remembered how intent Rich had been on telling everyone at the new table about Michael and Jeremy’s relationship. Jeremy didn’t want to sit by Christine, knowing that it’d just confuse the table. However, Rich was more than willing to open his table up to the new couple. 

“Well, now that you have me to yourself, what do you wanna do?” Jeremy asked suggestively, and Michael pulled out of the parking space. He contemplated the question for a second, but then shrugged. “Video games?” 

Jeremy pouted to himself, but knew that there’d be plenty of cuddles and kisses for another day. “Yeah, ‘course,” he said, but Michael could tell that he didn’t want to _just_ play video games. “You know I mean make out while I beat your ass at _Phantom Dust_ , right?“ Michael illustrated, and Jeremy giggled. 

“That sounds better.”

He reached out and grabbed Michael’s hand, enjoying the fluffy nature of their relationship while it lasted. Though it was something he’d never admit, Jeremy had always been very into innocent intimacy. Maybe not in public with Christine, but he liked holding hands and hugging and kissing.

Actually, maybe he would tell Michael. 

Michael ran his thumb over Jeremy’s knuckle, which comforted him. “Yeah? Good. Then we’ll do that. And, uh, I don’t wanna make things awkward, but do you wanna talk about what happened in the bathroom?” 

Jeremy's words got caught in his throat. He had totally forgotten about the incident, but he wished he hadn’t. Thinking about it brought back wonderful memories of Michael’s warm mouth around him and making him feel better. Feel _good_. 

“What about it?” Jeremy asked through gritted teeth. He couldn’t get turned on in the car. 

Michael shrugged and focused on the road. “Uh, was it good? I thrive on constructive criticism,” he said lightly, not letting go of Jeremy’s hand as he turned. Jeremy swallowed and blushed for, like, the billionth time that day. 

“Mm, yeah, duh. Couldn’t you tell?” Jeremy choked, and Michael smirked. “Uh, I have no pointers. I definitely learned some things. Do you have a hair-pulling kink?” Michael’s smirk widened. “You caught me. I may wanna warn you, I’m super kinky. Not sure how soon you’ll figure that out, but it hasn’t even been a day since we started dating and I’ve already sucked your dick,” he replied, chuckling. 

Jeremy scoffed, but figured that since they were admitting things, he may as well get a few things off of his chest. 

“You know I eat up those kisses? I love kissing. I love cuddling.”

Michael snorted. “Grade A twink, babe.”

”I, uh, still don’t know what a twink is though.” 

Michael nodded, deciding to tell Jeremy exactly what a twink was. He pulled into his driveway, in Jeremy's car. “Hmm. It’s an acronym. Teenage. White. Into No Kink. It’s where you’re, uh, not the manliest man. You look young? Not to be creepy. It’s, like, the _best_ type of gay,” he educated his boyfriend, but Jeremy made a confused face.

“No kink? Then I’m not a twink.”

His boyfriend almost died laughing. Jeremy? Kinky? “Uh yeah, right. Like what?” Michael mused, unbuckling his seatbelt. Jeremy frowned and felt slightly invalidated. “Well, since you don’t seem to think I’m kinky, I guess you’ll have to figure it out,” he whispered, leaning over to kiss Michael. Michael kissed him back, but pulled away. “Inside,” he promised, grabbing his backpack from the back seat as he slipped out of the car. Jeremy whined and got out of the car, following his boyfriend’s suit. 

“My mom’s working late tonight,” Michael called knowingly, using Jeremy’s copy of his house key to let them in. 

Jeremy smiled at the suggestive comment. “I know a few ways we can pass the time. But you have to promise to keep calling me baby boy.” 

Michael stomach turned over. God, he loved Jeremy. “Of course, _baby boy_.”  He pushed the door open, pulling Jeremy in and closing the door behind them. “I’m hungry.” 

Jeremy nodded in agreement. “Same. Make me cookies,” he demanded, throwing his backpack onto a sofa in the living room. Michael made a face and searched through his pantry for already-made snacks. He wasn’t great at baking, even with instructions on the back of a box. “I don’t have any,” Michael mumbled, pulling out an Oatmeal Cream Pie. He tossed it to Jeremy, who glared at it. “Is this kosher?” Jeremy inquired, and Michael clicked his tongue. 

“Of course. Little Debbie is definitely Jewish. Look at her hair,” he replied, holding up the box of snack cakes. Jeremy should’ve been offended, but he could never get mad at Michael’s stupid but funny jokes. 

“Sure,” Jeremy complied, unwrapping the food and shoving the whole thing in his mouth. Michael looked over to the sight, pausing momentarily to admire Jeremy’s mouth. Flexible jaw. 

Michael ignored his dirty mind and put the box back, closing the pantry door. 

“Let’s go to my basement,” he suggested, but Jeremy was a step ahead of the game. He opened the basement door and shuffled down the stairs, wanting to be player one for once. Michael _always_ played as player one, and Jeremy had always wanted the special label. When he reached the basement, he threw himself at the red beanbag chair that he always sat in when they spent time in the basement. It was old, but hadn’t broken yet. 

Michael caught up and shut the door behind him before bounding down the stairs. He saw Jeremy reaching for the player one controller from his spot on the stairs. “Uh, what’re you doing? I’m player one,” he reminded his boyfriend, who hummed like he hadn’t heard him. Michael jumped the last few steps and tried to wrestle the controller out of Jeremy’s hands. He straddled Jeremy in his seat and pushed him over, holding him against the floor with the controller over his head. 

“I wanna play as one,” Jeremy pouted, quickly glancing at Michael’s lips. He looked down at Jeremy with a thoughtful, calculating look on his face. 

“What?”

”Nothing,” Michael smirked. “Just imagining us like this with no clothes, me exploring every part of your body, assuring you that it belongs to me and that I love you.” Jeremy opened his mouth, trying to say something. He just blushed. 

Michael smiled and kissed Jeremy quickly, snatching the remote from his limp hands. 

Jeremy stayed laying down, even though Michael had sat back already. He stayed sitting on Jeremy’s lap, however, looking over his boyfriend’s body. He was so lucky. He was overcome with appreciation for the events that had occurred over the last couple of weeks. 

“What’re you thinking?” Jeremy asked quietly, his eyes half-lidded. 

Michael bit his lip. “About all the things I wanna do to your body.” 

Silence.

”Sounds a bit, uh, m-more sexual than kisses and cuddles,” Jeremy peeped, not against the idea of having sex with Michael. He just didn’t want things to move too quickly. 

Michael was having the same line of thought. “Uh, yeah. We should just cuddle and kiss. For now.” 

Jeremy was content with that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why I write these notes, haha. is it just me or is that “:)” after “you’ve already left kudos here” very passive aggressive 
> 
> like sorry I just super like it?? 
> 
> xofaith 
> 
> ps sorry for this short chapter!! trying to finish the hamilton soundtrack


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omfg I can’t believe myself, I accidentally deleted the tab in the middle of writing this chapter, and I didn’t save my progress 
> 
> actually dead :((
> 
> btw smut again, I like writing awkward bj scenes ;)) 
> 
> xofaith

Jeremy glared angrily at his math homework, trying to make sense of all the numbers and lines that seemed to dance around the paper. 

“I don’t even understand what I’m looking at,” he muttered, frustrated. “Vectors? Isn’t that the guy from Despicable Me?” Michael snorted softly. “Yeah, but also no. This is math. That’s a movie. His name was Vector because he had ‘direction and magnitude.’ So do these lines and quantities.” Jeremy looked back down at his work and pouted. Though he was more academically inclined than Michael, he was so lost in what the lesson was. He didn’t understand why they had to give meaning to things that didn’t have any meaning at all. They were just lines.

Michael was already on the fifth problem. Jeremy was still staring at the name blank. Michael wished he could help Jeremy, but he could barely understand the lesson himself. He wasn’t that great with math, anyways. It was a rare occurrence that he understood the lesson better than Jeremy.

“I thought that this class was supposed to be easy, I hate Pre-Calc,” Jeremy whined. “Why is it full of seniors? I wanna go back to Geometry.” Michael looked up at Jeremy, setting down his pencil. “Oh, yeah, okay. Jeremy. You didn’t know what an interior angle was until halfway through the second semester.” 

“Uh, she never told us.”

”Yes she did,” Michael recalled. “You just didn’t pay attention.” Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Okay, whatever. But still, why are we learning about this shit? I don’t even know what I wanna do with my life, but I know for sure it won’t have anything to do with Victor.”

”Vectors.”

Jeremy chucked his pen at Michael’s head, causing Michael to start laughing. “Shut up,” Jeremy groaned, looking back at the paper. Michael had offered to let Jeremy copy from his homework, but being too prideful, Jeremy had initially refused. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Give me my pen back, I’m copying your work,” Jeremy stated, reaching for his pen. He started feverishly transferring the chicken scratch that was Michael’s handwriting to his own paper, not even trying to understand the questions, what the answers even meant. 

Michael looked at his paper. The question told him that he needed to measure some lines on a grid with a ruler. Why did he need to use a ruler all of a sudden? Who the fuck still used rulers? He held his thumb against the lines on the graph, trying to use the one-inch rule. At some point, he just started making up random measurements. Did Dr. Freeman even check homework?

Jeremy moaned at the measuring part. “Jesus fuck, what is this? Ruler? God, I may as well just use my dick. Who owns a ruler?” Michael smiled and looked back up at his boyfriend. “You measure your dick?” he asked jokingly, but Jeremy nodded seriously. “With a ruler, but that’s not the point.” 

Michael started giggling. “How often do you measure it?” 

“Once a month. I just wanna see if it grows.” 

That’s when Michael lost any sense of composure he had been maintaining. “H-Has it?” he choked, and Jeremy gave him a confused look. He hadn’t thought that what he said was very funny, but since Michael’s sense of humor was far more developed than his own, he decided that he had said something funny.

”No.”

”How long has it been since you’ve actually gotten an increase in these measurements?” Michael asked, still chuckling. Jeremy blushed. “Seven months ago.” 

Michael bursted out laughing even harder than before. He couldn’t fucking breathe. He rolled onto his back and laughed so hard that he started crying. Jeremy sat up angrily and crossed his arms. “What’s so funny, Mell?” His boyfriend kept laughing, rubbing tears away from his eyes. 

“N-Nothing, just, I’m glad it hasn’t grown m-more!” Michael jeered, but Jeremy scowled. 

“Why?”

”Uh, you deaf?” Michael stopped laughing long enough to ask. “Did you not hear me gagging every two seconds in the stall?” 

Jeremy’s face grew hotter. “Even if you did gag, you were still really good,” he promised, and Michael’s laughing subsided. 

How had the mood shifted so quickly? 

“Y-Yeah?” 

“I’m sure I’d do the same,” Jeremy comforted Michael, who didn’t really need to be comforted. Instead, he smirked. “Yeah, I’m sure you would.”

Jeremy’s curiosity got the best of him. “Why’s that? Are you bigger than me?” he asked innocently, following Michael’s bulge as Michael stood up to put away his homework. Michael suddenly grew very embarrassed. This conversation wasn’t an ideal one to be having, but since he had already seen Jeremy’s, he decided that it was only fair to answer Jeremy’s dick questions. 

“Depends which way you’re asking,” Michael answered thoughtfully, bending over to pick up Jeremy’s homework to put in his backpack, which Jeremy had made him run upstairs to get before they started homework. Jeremy nodded. “So, you are _longer_?” he probed, leaning over. Michael laughed nervously as he zipped up Jeremy’s backpack. “God, so nosy. Just ask me to whip it out,” Michael joked sarcastically, looking down at Jeremy. He sunk onto the bed that his family kept in the basement. 

Jeremy looked at him expectedly. 

Michael’s grin faltered. “O-Oh, you’re serious?” he asked, his usual confidence nowhere to be heard in his tone of voice. 

“Can you?” Jeremy asked slowly, and that really turned Michael on. Jeremy was so innocent and perfect, and he’d do anything Jeremy asked. Swallowing hard, Michael awkwardly fumbled with his pants button. 

Seeing that his boyfriend was struggling, Jeremy stood up on his knees and closed the distance between him and Michael by shuffling over quietly. Michael suddenly couldn’t move as Jeremy unbuttoned his pants for him, then unzipping them. Since when had Jeremy had the confidence or ability to do something like this by himself, no prompting? 

“Sh-Shit, Jeremy. Who are you and what have you done with my twink boyfriend?” Michael asked comically, his nervous chuckling making a reappearance. Jeremy looked up at him as he laid a hand on Michael’s boxer band. He smiled softly. “Uh, nothing. I’m just being a _good boy_.” Jeremy’s words went straight to Michael’s dick, and he felt himself starting to get hard. Hell, this had escalated quickly. 

Jeremy pressed a kiss against the tent in Michael’s underwear, trying to seem like he had some sort of idea about what he was doing. Michael exhaled quietly and closed his eyes, pressing his hand against the back of Jeremy’s neck encouragingly. Things were going a lot faster than either boy could’ve imagined, but neither of them were complaining. Jeremy looked up at Michael and smiled to himself, then placed one hand on the inside of Michael’s thigh, the other delving into his boyfriend’s boxers. 

Michael secretly thought that maybe all of this action had been the result of pent up sexual tension between the two, or maybe just the fact that they were so glad to be together. 

Jeremy understood what Michael had meant when he said that he was bigger than Jeremy. He didn’t have, like, a long dick, but it wasn’t small. Also, it was a lot thicker than Jeremy had expected it to be. He felt weird describing it to himself, but he knew that he’d become very familiar and comfortable with Michael’s penis in due time. 

“Mm, you’re _big_. You were right,” Jeremy tried a hand at what he considered to be dirty talk. He grinned up at Michael, whose eyes were closed tightly. He twitched slightly at Jeremy’s words, rubbing the back of Jeremy’s neck with his thumb in response. 

Jeremy wasted no time in returning the service that Michael had performed in the bathroom stall. He was mildly concerned that he wouldn’t be as good as Michael was, but having only very recently discovered his sexuality, he decided to not be too hard on himself. He struggled with the feeling of his airways being completely blocked by a solid object taking up all of the space in his mouth. It was uncomfortable at first, but when Jeremy took in as much of Michael as he could and worked up a rhythm, it wasn’t as bad as he was afraid it would’ve been. 

Plus, Michael’s moaning and small pants were all the more reason to keep up the good work. 

“Mm, G-God, baby,” Michael struggled to get the words out, his grip around the back of Jeremy’s neck tightening slightly. “I’m so cl-close.” Jeremy wanted to swallow, but he remembered that Michael had swallowed his jizz earlier. It was hot, but didn’t people also cum on their partner’s face? Was Michael into that? 

Jeremy pulled himself away from Michael’s body, leaving his boyfriend whimpering and frantically reaching for him and begging him to finish. Instead, Jeremy took the hand that had been resting at the base of Michael’s member and began pumping it, this feeling a lot more familiar. Michael’s eyes fluttered as he gripped his sheets, finishing within moments of Jeremy switching tactics. His fluid shot at Jeremy’s pale face in hot streams, and Jeremy started wondering if maybe he was the one into getting nutted on. 

Michael’s knuckles whitened because of how tight his grip was on the sheets. He opened his eyes momentarily to see Jeremy, who was enjoying getting came on way too much for a “straight” boy. The sight was nearly enough to make Michael hard again. 

“H-Holy shit, Jere...” Michael said tiredly, watching as Jeremy licked his lips slowly. His boyfriend giggled and stood up to kiss Michael. “I need to wash my face. I’m sure unborn children is a good mask, but I kinda don’t want to become more gay for you than I already am.” Michael watched in awe as Jeremy left the room to grab a towel. He ran up the stairs to go to the linen closet, leaving Michael confused and panting. 

That wasn’t Jeremy. 

Michael buttoned up his pants and blinked a few times, waiting for Jeremy to come back. He was still shaking. 

Jeremy ran back down the stairs, clean-faced and bright-eyed. “You were... You were so good, baby boy,” Michael said finally, and Jeremy embraced him. 

“Keep calling me baby boy and maybe I’d do an even better job,” he coaxed, and Michael swallowed hard. 

Jeremy-I’m-straight-but-Michael-is-my-exception-Heere was a complete, total twink. 

 


	11. Chapter 11

Jeremy listened to the steady rhythm of Michael’s deep breathing, his head rising and falling along with Michael’s chest. After they had cuddled and eaten dinner, they had gone upstairs to take showers and go to bed. It felt like their bedtime routine hadn’t changed much with their evolved relationship, the exception being the occasional kiss or flirtatious comment. 

Michael shifted slightly in his sleep, pulling Jeremy closer. Jeremy smiled to himself and closed his eyes. Michael had fallen asleep about half an hour ago, but Jeremy wasn’t tired. He wanted to enjoy the fact that he had a boyfriend who he loved, despite just days before being convinced that he was in love with Christine and would never date a guy. 

He said that but didn’t he have a dick in his mouth just hours ago?

Jeremy heard someone unlock the front door, followed by a quiet sigh and footsteps. He assumed that it was Michael’s mom, because her shift had ended late that day. Neither Michael nor Jeremy knew exactly what she did for a living, but their best understanding of her job was that she was an accountant of sorts. 

“They moved it back a month? When the hell are you coming home then?” came her tired voice, and Jeremy realized that she was on the phone with somebody. Probably Michael’s dad. Though Michael had a pretty solid family life, his dad was always on business trips and in attendance to international conferences. He worked in marketing, like for big shot companies or something like that. Jeremy stared at the ceiling, feeling slightly guilty about eavesdropping. However, he couldn’t help it. 

Mrs. Mell opened the fridge, continuing the conversation. “George, that’s going to tear Michael apart. He _misses_  you,” she said softly. “He needs his dad. You’ve been gone most of the time. He and Jeremy have grown so much and you don’t get to see any of that.”

Jeremy’s heart fluttered at the mention of his name. Now he really felt bad for listening in. 

“N-No, yeah, I know,” Michael’s mom sighed. “You can’t help it. Thank you for calling. I miss you. Yep. Love you. Okay, bye.” He heard her sniffle quietly and shut the refrigerator door, then heard her footsteps disappear. Jeremy continued to look at the ceiling, suddenly feeling bad for Mrs. Ana. As cheesy as it sounded, she was like a second mom to him. Well, a mom, since he hadn’t heard from his own in over a year. 

Michael’s breathing stopped momentarily, and then he sneezed. Jeremy smiled and turned his head to rest on Michael’s chest. As per usual, Michael didn’t wear a shirt to sleep. He always complained that it got hot, insisting on leaving the fan on and turning the thermostat down to sixty five. 

Lost in thought, Jeremy didn’t head Michael’s mom return to the kitchen, nor her silent approach to Michael’s room. Jeremy's heart almost leapt through his chest when the door opened, and he quickly had to slam his eyes shut to feign sleep. He became aware of how _gay_ he and Michael looked, and though he was certain that they had fallen asleep like this before (platonically, of course), it surprised Mrs. Mell a bit. She hummed happily and leaned over to plant small kisses on both Michael and Jeremy’s forehead. 

Mom material.

Mrs. Ana left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. Jeremy’s heart was still pattering as her footsteps faded, then started to wonder whether or not they’d even have to come out to her.

———

“Breakfast!”

Michael groaned as his eyes tried to adjust to the dark room. It was still pretty early, and he knew that the sun would rise soon, but he loved breakfast food more than sleep. 

Wait, was that his mom?

”Jere,” he mumbled tiredly, shaking his boyfriend awake. They had woken up in a weird position, with one of Jeremy’s legs strewn carelessly across Michael’s, and with one of Michael’s arms tangling Jeremy’s hair. Jeremy moaned quietly and yawned, squinting at the ceiling. He just wanted to go back to sleep. “Five minutes,” he muttered, rolling over and pressing himself against Michael. 

The taller boy kissed the top of Jeremy’s head, and then proceeded to shove him off of the bed. Jeremy squealed and landed with an “oof,” scowling at Michael. His boyfriend laughed and sat up to stretch. “Told you to get up,” he excused himself, rolling out of bed and heading over to his dresser to retrieve a t-shirt. Jeremy grabbed his leg as he did so, tripping him and causing him to fall over too. They laughed and shoved each other a few times, just like they would’ve done as best friends. Except now they could suck dick and it’d be socially acceptable. 

“Boys, c’mon!” Mrs. Mell called from the kitchen, and Michael breathed in the smell of eggs and bacon. “I bet her eggs aren’t runny,” he teased Jeremy, who huffed and stood up to his feet. 

“Well I bet she also doesn’t make out with her best friend and then suddenly start dating them.” 

Michael inclined his head, mockingly applauding Jeremy, who kicked him while he was sitting on the floor and left the room. Michael chuckled and stood up as well, grabbing a shirt and slipping it over his head as he followed Jeremy out of the room. 

Mrs. Mell greeted Michael with a kiss and pulled Jeremy’s ear. “Morning, cuties,” she said gleefully, not a trace of her sad phone call last night in her voice. “Turkey bacon and scrambled eggs. Oh, and Jeremy, I got you chocolate milk.” Jeremy smiled widely at his cup of chocolate milk, which was sitting at the bar. He loved chocolate milk, and was delighted whenever Mrs. Mell decided to pick it up for him. Jeremy didn’t eat pork, and whenever Mrs. Mell cooked for him, she made sure to make the meal as kosher as she could. Jeremy didn’t mind, because he could always eat side items, but it was the thought that counted. 

Michael passed Jeremy to slide into his chair, eagerly attacking the eggs and bacon on his plate. Their bagel pizza last night had been almost inedible, so he was incredibly famished. 

“Jesus, Mikey, remember to chew,” his mom scolded, smacking his head with the roll of paper towels that was in her hand. He chuckled as he shoveled eggs into his mouth. 

“Why’re you still here? Aren’t you already supposed to be gone for work?” Jeremy asked, taking a sip of chocolate milk. Fuck yeah, it was Horizon Organic. 

Mrs. Mell smiled sweetly. “My job hours are weird. I got home late last night, so they’re letting me come in late today. They’re pretty supportive and flexible of my new career path.” Jeremy gave her a perplexed look. “Don’t you work an office job? You’re an accountant. Isn’t that, like, nine to five?” The woman turned around to make herself a plate of breakfast. “Well, I work two jobs. Surely Michael told you.” 

Michael shot her a confused look, shaking his head. 

“You wo-k a shecond dob?” he asked, his mouth full. Jeremy and Mrs. Mell collectively rolled their eyes. “Yes, did I not tell you? I’m an accountant and I’m studying to become a lawyer. So not really just an accountant now, but I have classes to attend too. That’s why I told you I’d get home late, leave early. I can’t believe you didn’t know!”

Michael swallowed his food and gazed at the oven. He had been so caught up in his own life that he hadn’t bothered to ask about his mom’s. He suddenly felt a little shitty. “Sorry,” he apologized, setting down his fork. “I’ve been, uh, kinda busy too.” 

“I know, I saw you and Jeremy cuddling last night.”

Jeremy almost spit out his chocolate milk, his eyes burning from almost choking. Michael choked on air and blushed deeply. His mom giggled and turned off the oven top. “I’m so happy for you boys! I’ve been waiting forever for this to happen!” she squealed, their reactions confirmation enough for her. 

“I-I, w-we,” Jeremy stuttered, and Michael did the same. “S-So, yeah?” 

Mrs. Mell walked around the counter and threw her arms around the boys’ shoulders, pulling them into a hug. “This has made my day! But Jeremy, Michael,” she said, her voice suddenly turning dark, “I swear to God, if you so much as harm a hair on each others’ heads, I’ll fucking murder you.” She pulled back and smiled, adjusting the apron that Jeremy and Michael had “sewn” her for her birthday a few years ago. 

The boys chuckled awkwardly and finished their food. The sun had started streaming through the high windows in the Mell house, meaning that they had to head to school shortly. “So, you wanna be a lawyer now? I thought you said you wanted to be a dentist,” Michael commented lightly, sliding off of the chair to wash off his plate. His mom shrugged and put away the bag of uncooked bacon.

”Yeah, well, once I started reading the book about the dental exam or whatever, I realized it wasn’t my thing. Can’t you see me as a lawyer?” she asked, looking over at Jeremy. He nodded quickly. “Oh, uh, yeah. Or m-maybe a real estate agent.” Mrs. Mell looked from Jeremy to Michael, her face changing. “Hmm, real estate... Not a bad idea... Love you, hani.” She wandered back to her room, looking thoughtful. 

Michael threw Jeremy a shaded look. 

“What?”

”She’s confused enough, Jere, let’s not put any other ideas in her head,” Michael warned, and Jeremy held out his empty plate for Michael to wash. “Just let her be. She probably gets bored dealing with just numbers all day,” Jeremy said softly as Michael took his plate, putting it in the dishwasher.

The boys returned to Michael’s room to get ready for school. Jeremy remembered the conversation that he had overheard last night as he put on a pair of pants he kept in his Jeremy-designated drawer in Michael’s dresser. “Hey, Micha?” he asked, and Michael turned around, his hoodie halfway on. “Hm?” 

“Do you miss your dad?” 

Michael finished pulling his hoodie over his head and gazed at his boyfriend. Weird question. “I guess. I mean, my mom does, which makes me sad. But I’m content to be honest,” he admitted, and Jeremy smiled. “Y’know, it’s okay to miss your parents,” he offered awkwardly, knowing Michael too well to play off the situation. 

“Yeah, I know. You haven’t heard anything from your mom still?” Michael inquired, putting on a pair of socks and taking his glasses off to rub off fingerprints. Jeremy shrugged and tied his shoes, tucking the shoelaces into his shoes. “Nah. It’s okay, though. My dad and I are starting to come to terms with it, I guess,” he replied hopefully, to Michael’s delight. 

They finished getting ready without talking much about their missing parents, washing their faces and brushing their teeth. The good thing about having been friends for twelve years and living within minutes of each other was that each boy had toiletries and full closets at each others’ houses. Jeremy never had to worry about forgetting his toothbrush or face wash or anything like that. 

“I have to get gas before school,” Jeremy told Michael, grabbing his keys off of Michael’s nightstand and trying to spin them around his finger. They hit him in the face. 

Michael chuckled and shook his head, grabbing his backpack and slipping a strap on. “‘Kay, but we have to go to 7-Eleven. I want a slushee. You can pump gas and I’ll pump that self-serve, frozen goodness.” 

Jeremy smiled. “Good by me. You remember that time you said that the girl at 7-Eleven gave you a ‘generous pour?’ But that didn’t even make sense because they’re self-serve, dumbass.” Michael gasped. “Jeremy, dude, you gotta stop exposing me. I did crazy shit trying to get your attention, babe,” he feigned a hurt expression. 

His boyfriend snorted and led the way to his car, giving Mrs. Mell a hug before he left. 

———

“I don’t wanna play scramble soccer,” Jeremy whined to Michael, leaning against his arm. “It sucks, and people call me Face Plant.” 

Michael chortled as he remembered the incident from sixth grade, which only a few people actually remembered. On the first day of P.E. in middle school, it rained, so the coach had decided to play scrambled soccer. He paired up teams of two, everyone starting in the middle of the court. He then placed soccer balls between the pairs, blew his whistle, and then the kicking commenced. Sadly, Michael and Jeremy hadn’t been paired together, but rather with random kids who they couldn’t even remember. Long story short, Jeremy’s partner had stuck out his foot as Jeremy actually tried to kick the ball away from the other kid, to the other side of the gym. Jeremy fell flat down, face first. 

To Michael, it was hysterical. 

“Aw, don’t worry. Scramble soccer isn’t _that_ bad. Wasn’t that the last time you put any actual effort into school sports?” he teased, and Jeremy scowled. “Look here, motherfucker, you’re treading on thin ice,” he replied hotly, and Michael chuckled. “I’ll have you know that I played one season of rec soccer with you in seventh grade.” Michael rolled his eyes and all the students got up on their feet as Coach Levi finished his “don’t use a hundred percent of your energy because we’re inside” speech. 

Rich caught up with Jeremy and Michael as they paired up to “play” the game. “‘Thup, dudeth?” he said happily, winking at Michael. “Anything elthe happen after the little bathroom thene I walked in on?” 

Jeremy blushed, but Michael leaned against him, his arm on top of Jeremy’s head. “I thought you saw Jeremy give me head yesterday when you were looking through my bedroom window as usual?” he retorted, and Rich pretended to look thoughtful. “Hm, can’t recall. Oh, you know that that’th a _Friday_ thing. Look outthide tonight and you may jutht thee me,” he replied, his grin ear-to-ear. Rich bounced to the opposite side of the court, looking for someone who’d actually want to be his partner for the game. 

“Stop telling people I failed at blowing you yesterday, dick,” Jeremy pouted, and Michael threw his arm around Jeremy’s shoulders. “You are what you eat, I guess. But hey, you didn’t fail at all. It usually takes me, like, twenty minutes to cum on my own. How long did that last? Barely five minutes?” he assured Jeremy, kissing his forehead. 

“No PDA!” Coach Levi barked at them, blowing his whistle. 

Michael proceeded to lick Jeremy’s face, chin to forehead, to Jeremy’s disgust. 

Coach Levi instructed the groups to stand a foot apart, facing each other. “I’m gonna beat your ass, Heere,” Michael threatened jokingly, pounding a fist into his open palm. Jeremy snorted. “You wouldn’t. I’m fast and skinny, you don’t stand a chance.” 

“I know for a fact that you’re not fast whatsoever. Last time we ran for this class, you passed out after three minutes and had to sit in the nurse’s office for the rest of the period. Jeremy furrowed his brow. “If you weren’t a foot away, I’d be beating you up.”

Michael couldn’t take him seriously. 

The coach placed soccer balls between each pair, reminded everyone of how to play. He blew his whistle, and the students were off.

Michael stuck out his foot and rolled the ball back towards himself. In addition to playing video games and getting high, he enjoyed learning trick shots and really dumb soccer tricks. He rolled the ball onto his foot and kicked it up, bouncing it with his opposite knee. Michael wasn’t an athlete at all, but his YouTube binging at three in the morning had to plant some seeds at some point.

Jeremy moved side to side, trying to figure out what the fuck was happening. Michael wasn’t _bad_ at soccer, but he had never been this _good_. “Wh-What is this?” he asked shakily, noticing that every other team had already moved from the center one way or another. Michael smirked and bounced the ball up onto his head. This was going surprisingly well. 

“Oh, this? I’m a bit of a pro soccer athlete player,” Michael bragged, wincing because he didn’t think that that was the right term. Oh well, Jeremy wouldn’t know the difference.

The shorter of the two lunges at Michael, forgetting that soccer was a no hand-contact sport. Michael got spooked and dropped the ball, all soccer “knowledge” leaving his mind. He forgot how to kick the ball, how to play soccer, how to do anything. Jeremy took his momentary dumbstruck expression as a sign that he could finally be better at something that Michael. He kicked the ball in a random direction, full force, and it blasted straight into Coach Levi’s stomach. With a loud smack, the ball bounced off of his beer belly and onto a wall, and Jeremy watched the entire thing happen with a stunned look on his face. 

Michael turned around just in time to see the whole thing go down. “Fuck,” he whispered nervously. 

And that’s how Jeremy and Michael got sent to the principal’s office for the first time in the twelve years they had been in school. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha where am I going w this?? idc it’s just so fun to write I love my boys <3
> 
> oh also lmao the whole face plant thing is based off of me in sixth grade I fucking hate scramble soccer 
> 
> xofaith
> 
> ps i aM STOKED ABOUT THE REVIVAL BTW AND SAD BC I MISSED GEORGE SALAZAR APPRECIATION DAY :((


	12. Chapter 12

The principal sat across from Michael and Jeremy, who had sunken uncomfortably into the two chairs sat next to each other. Jeremy hadn’t meant to get them in trouble, and Michael wouldn’t have even been involved had he not yelled at the coach after the incident. And then call him an obese man child with a drinking problem and a drug addict of a child. Yeah, that was just a tad overboard. 

“Boys,” Mr. Vernon grunted, his white mustache moving up and down to represent his talking. Jeremy couldn’t even see his mouth. He swallowed hard and clasped his hands together, noting how sweaty they were. Jeremy had never been to the principal’s office, and the fact that he had broken his twelve-year streak of never getting in trouble once made him all the more anxious about his predicament.

Michael wasn’t as nervous, but he definitely wasn’t too happy about the situation. He wished that he would’ve just kept his mouth shut, because then he and Jeremy wouldn’t be in as much trouble as they had been. “So, explain to me, _again_ , what happened in your class?” Michael grew slightly irritated, tapping his finger on the arm of his chair in frustration. Hadn’t he just told the guy what had happened in unnecessary detail? 

“W-Well,” Jeremy stuttered, melting under the stern glare of the principal. He liked Mr. Vernon, but talking to adults usually made him anxious anyways, but being in trouble for once added undue stress. “Uh, in Gym, we w-were playing scra-amble soccer. Th-The game where you try to get the b-ball to the other side of the r-oom.” Michael winced as Jeremy struggled to get the story out, but he had already told the principal what had happened. He assumed that he had asked again so that he could get a less heated explanation from Jeremy instead of Michael’s angry, emotionally charged one. 

Mr. Vernon’s left brow raised expectantly, and Jeremy’s forehead began glistening with sweat. “Yeah, uh... S-So I kicked the ball, trying to g-get it by Michael to my si-ide. And I guess I have b-bad aim, you know, because I’ve, uh, never been good at sports or soccer or anything, and I didn’t kno-ow my own strength,” Jeremy illustrated slowly, as if he were trying to convince himself of the story. The principal nodded understandingly, then looked at the office referral that Coach Levi had written.

“Right, okay Jeremy. That’s what I’m reading. Coach Levi seems to think that you kicked it with intentional force, with the intention of hitting him?” Mr. Vernon read, glancing up at Jeremy, who was profusely shaking his head. “S-Sir, I’d never do that,” he defended himself, rubbing his clammy hands on his jeans. The principal seemed satisfied with Jeremy’s answer, shifting his harsh gaze to Michael.  

“Mell,” his tone of voice changed, and he set down the paper. “Now, I know for a fact that your actions were intentional. You called Mr. Levi fat, a drunk, and said that his son was a druggie. And you admitted to that. The man is an adult! Why did you feel that you had the right to humiliate him that way?” Michael bit the inside of his cheek and thought hard before he spoke. “I’m really sorry, I am. Sometimes I just have a difficult time controlling my emotions,” he pretended, looking downcast. “He was yelling at my best friend, accusing him of purposefully kicking a ball at him, and I–“

Michael held up his hand, sniffling and acting like he was the victim. “I’m sorry, just a moment, please.” 

Jeremy’s mouth fell open. Wasn’t he supposed to be the one who was good at acting?

Mr. Vernon looked at Michael sympathetically, and then took a notepad out of his drawer. “I think I’ve heard enough. Jeremy, I see no further action needed, but remember to give only fifty percent when playing indoors, yes? Also, you should look into playing soccer for the school’s soccer team. Coach Levi’s son plays,” he suggested with a smile. “And Michael, I think I’ll write you a referral to the counselor, a sort of voucher-type thing. If for whatever reason you find yourself getting worked up, turn in this ‘coupon’ and have a quick meeting. Conflict-resolution skills are important!” 

Michael took the paper with a grateful look on his face. “Thank you so much, sir. This won’t happen again. If you’ll excuse us, we gotta get to second period. Don’t wanna be late to class,” he excused him and Jeremy, winking at his boyfriend as Mr. Vernon turned around to put the notebook back. “Of course. Thank you boys! I’ll explain the situation to Coach Levi presently.”

Jeremy and Michael filed quickly out of the room, closing the large, out-of-place oak door behind them. Jeremy looked at Michael in awe. “Shit, man. There’s an opening in the play I’m rehearsing for, if you’re game,” he managed to say, but Michael shooed him away. 

“Nah, I only play pretend if I’m in trouble. Or in the bedroom. Or _both_ ,” Michael teased, leaning over to kiss Jeremy’s cheek. Jeremy’s face grew hot. 

Jenna Rolan had decided to round the corner at that exact moment, and her eyes nearly bugged out of their sockets when she saw the two together. “Did I see that right? I thought that Jeremy was dating Christine! Was the breakup messy? Oh my God, is Michael a top or bottom? Wait, let me get a pic real quick!” she rushed excitedly, pulling out her phone and squishing herself between Jeremy and Michael. She opened Snapchat and took a selfie, her being the only one who seemed to be aware of the picture. 

“I’ll send you this! You can use it was a profile pic or whatever, free of charge. Putting it on my story, too! I’m glad you guys are finally out!” Jenna squealed, never stopping to take a breath. Her eyes glued to her phone screen and her thumbs tapping against it quickly at lightning speed, Jenna walked past the stunned pair, who were really too surprised to say anything. 

Both of their phones buzzed at the same time, a notification from Jenna popping up on the screen. Michael and Jeremy looked at each other in dazed confusion, opening the message in sync. Staring back at them was a picture of themselves and Jenna, though neither of them looked ready for the picture at all. Jenna had put little gay flag stickers all over the shot, with a rainbow gradient message that read, “ _YAY FOR GAY! LOVE THESE CUTIES!_ ” 

Jeremy grimaced again. 

“So, now that the entire school knows that we’re dating, what’s our next course of action?” Michael joked, sliding his phone back into his pocket. Jeremy shrugged nonchalantly. “We have Pre-Calc. Gotta figure out that dumb-ass homework she assigned two days ago. I’m sure no one did it.” Michael snorted and shrugged. “Uh, I did. And I got my dick sucked because of those dumb measurement questions. I wouldn’t give her too much crap for it,” he retorted, taking Jeremy’s hand and walking towards their lockers. 

———

Rich tore his face away from Jake’s for a moment as Jeremy and Michael sat in awkward silence across from them. 

“Yeah, that wath fuckin’ wild. Who knew that Jeremy wath tho good at kicking ballth? I bet Michael knew,” Rich said slyly, and Michael squinted at the boy. “Nah, I’m not into that, actually, that sounds fucking painful,” he replied, picking at his food. “Besides, I’m only into a few things. _Normal_ things.” 

Jeremy almost choked. “I don’t think that daddy kinks are normal. Don’t you have a collar or something?” he teased, and Michael pinched his arm under the table. “That’s a choker. And no, that’s not for me. I don’t think you understand how a daddy kink works, baby, let the grown-up’s talk.” 

Rich raised his eyebrows pointedly. “Maybe Jeremy jutht needth to be thown how it workth, Mikey. Me and Jakey could demonthrate,” he offered, to which Jeremy frantically shook his head. “N-No, we’ve only been dating for like a day. Plus, I think that Michael is more than capable of demonstrating by himself in due time.” 

Michael opened his mouth to say something, but Jeremy’s confidence had left him speechless. 

Jake grinned widely and took a bite of his meatloaf. “Fuck, man, he’s a brat if I’ve ever seen one,” he told Michael, motioning in Jeremy’s general direction with his plastic fork. “God, you’re lucky. Rich talks back too much, but Jeremy’s such a twink that he’ll be sweet about it.”

Jeremy, still new to all of this slang, nodded, hoping that he understood what he was agreeing to. 

Rich pouted at Jake. “Babe, I _am_ a good boy. I’m like a dog, you know that. I get ecthited and then, like, pee everywhere. I can’t help that,” he joked, and Jake set down his fork. “God, not at the table, Rich,” he said breathlessly, and pulled Rich up to his mouth by the fabric of his shirt, connecting their lips again and making out for the next few minutes. 

Michael shot Jeremy a “please help me this is an uncomfortable situation” look, to which Jeremy stood up and pulled Michael up by his hoodie sleeve. “Yeah, we’re gonna, uh, go,” he said quickly, pulling Michael away from the table and out of the cafeteria. 

“Where to?” Jeremy asked innocently, stopping as soon as they made it past the swinging doors. Michael gave him a puzzled look. “Uh, you’re the one who dragged me out here. Do you not have a back-up plan? Would you rather watch Jake and Rich make out while you try to eat?” Jeremy frowned and shook his head. “No. We forgot our bags, though. I don’t wanna go back there.” Michael shrugged it off and kissed Jeremy’s nose. “We’ll get them later. For real though, I’m bored. Whatcha wanna do?” he asked seriously, and Jeremy smiled sweetly. “How about you show me what a real daddy kink looks like and stop being a big tease,” he suggested innocently, and Michael’s breath hitched in his throat. 

Fuck.

———

“Mm, you’re so good to me,” Jeremy muttered quietly as Michael left a trail of kisses down his neck, his chest, his torso, and down to his hips. Michael hummed in response, sucking a few hickeys as a reminder that he had been there. 

It turned out that the boys enjoyed passing time making out in the back of Jeremy’s car, which was fine by Michael. It was either that or watching Jake absorb Rich while they tried to eat. Plus, kissing Jeremy was his new favorite hobby. “It’s just ‘cause you’re such a good boy and listen to daddy so well,” Michael encouraged Jeremy as he sat up to take a breath. Jeremy pulled Michael back down and smashed their lips together. God, they were still a little awkward, but Jeremy couldn’t stop thinking about how he liked this so much more than kissing Christine. 

If he hadn’t yet thought that he wasn’t straight before, he had definitely confirmed it then.

The daddy kink thing was something that had kind of wordlessly developed, because Michael had never explicitly stated that he had a daddy kink. It was kind of like an unspoken, mutual understanding. He hoped that it wasn’t too obvious, but then again, Jeremy had always known him very well. Sometimes better than he knew himself. However, Michael had known for a while that he had a thing for role-play, especially when he got to actually treat Jeremy like a little boy. Except a little boy that he got to fuck legally. Or illegally, since they were underage. Okay, he was definitely thinking too much about his daddy kink, and it was starting to kill the mood. 

Jeremy moaned as Michael forced his tongue into his mouth, teeth clanking slightly and causing Jeremy to wince in pain. He tried not to seem too obvious about it, because he knew that they’d one day get past this awkward stage. Michael ran his tongue along Jeremy’s teeth, then let it rest on Jeremy’s tongue. The warm contact sent shivers down his spine, even though Jeremy’s mouth tasted like the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he had packed for lunch that day. Michael pulled back to gaze at Jeremy with admiration. He loved his boyfriend. 

“I don’t wanna kill the mood, but we’re gonna be late to class if we don’t head inside. As much as I’d love to spend the last hour and a half of school making out in my car, I have a quiz in Drama,” Jeremy interrupted sadly, sticking his bottom lip out. Michael leaned down and pressed another kiss onto Jeremy’s parted lips. 

“Mm, that’s unfortunate. What do you even have quizzes over? I have a study hall, I wanna come,” Michael mused, but Jeremy quickly shook his head. “N-No, that’d be too embarrassing. You’re already insisting that you come to my play at the end of the month. I don’t want you to see me fail a quiz. This quiz is an acting quiz. I had to remember part of a scene from Romeo and Juliet, so, uh, yeah. I’d rather you not see that. Usually we just quiz over stuff like memory verses. Except it’s not a Bible class.” Michael frowned. “But I wanna watch my boyfriend _ace_ his quiz. He’s talented and I just wanna show my support!” he urged, and Jeremy sighed. 

He realized with dread that he couldn't talk Michael out of this, and part of Mr. Reyes’ grading rubric usually consisted of audience engagement anyways. If he had Michael engaged in the audience, then maybe it’d reflect well in his grade. 

“Fine. But Michael Mell, I swear to God, do  _not_ embarrass me,” Jeremy pleaded, to which Michael smiled mischievously. 

“No promises.”

———

Jeremy looked over his lines for the hundredth time, upset that he had low-key forgotten to study more beforehand. Well, he had studied. Endlessly. However, like everyone else, he too got more nervous right before his performance. The fact that Michael was there made him even more flustered than he would’ve been just performing in front of his class. 

He loved theatre, but he hated performing in front of people. That was kind of Jeremy’s eternal paradox. 

Michael shot him a thumbs up and a huge smile, being the very supportive boyfriend he was. This was a slight comfort to Jeremy, and it calmed his nerves a bit. Mr. Reyes glanced up at Jeremy as everyone clapped for Christine, who had just finished her well-versed Juliet lines of Act 2, Scene 2. She had had two years of practice, once as some weird sci-fi zombie princess thing and another as the traditional Juliet. Christine was also very big into method acting, as Jeremy had come to learn, so she had been talking in rhymes and dramatic dialogue lately anyways. 

“Jeremy, you’re up. Break a leg,” the teacher said encouragingly, glad that Jeremy had invited another audience member. He was just so proud of his class and how much they had grown. 

Jeremy took a nervous, shaky sigh, setting down his lines. He looked at Michael again as he walked into the stage, where they had moved their class for the day to have their quiz. “H-Hi, um, I’ll be performing Friar Laurence’s soliloquy from Act 2, Scene 3. Thank you,” he introduced himself, trying to remain as confident as he could as he slouched down, trying to recreate the posture of what he imagined some old hippie stoner dude’s to be. He glanced at Michael once more before enveloping himself in the character, recalling his lines with ease. He tried to forget his nerves and rather focus on the dialogue. 

“‘Now, ‘ere the sun advance his _burning eye_ , the day to cheer and night's dank dew to dry, I must up-fill this osier cage of ours with baleful weeds and precious-juiced flowers,’” the words rolled off of his tongue, thick and hoarse. He was actually really proud of himself for how this was turning out. “‘The earth that's nature's mother is her tomb. What is her burying grave that is her womb; and from her womb children of divers kind we sucking on her natural bosom find, many for many virtues excellent, none but for some and yet all different.

“‘O, mickle is the powerful grace that lies in stones, herbs, uh, plants, and their true qualities...’” 

He took a shaky breath and paused for dramatic effect, but mostly to make sure that he had remembered his lines correctly. He had definitely just mixed up a few words. 

“‘F-For naught so _vile_ that on the earth doth live but to the earth some special good doth give; nor aught so good but, strain'd from that fair use, reviles, er, revolts, from true birth, stumbling on abuse.’”

Jeremy paused as the audience looked at him expectantly, trying to remember if he had forgotten any lines or had more to go. If he had, then he couldn’t remember. He shakily stood up from his hunched position and bowed awkwardly. Mr. Reyes started the quiet, reserved clapping, and in that moment, Jeremy instantly regretted inviting but not inviting Michael. 

“THAT’S MY BOYFRIEND! FRIED LAURENS! THAT’S MY JERE-BEAR, FUCK YEAH!” Michael cried proudly, standing on his feet and applauding loudly. Jeremy grew incredibly embarrassed and shuffled off of the stage as quick as humanly possible. 

Every student looked in Michael’s direction. A few of the looks were dirty and offended, but most of them were just amused. Jeremy didn’t find the situation to be amusing in the slightest, but he appreciated the fact that Michael tried. 

Needless to say, Michael got kicked out of that class and was kindly asked to never attend another acting quiz. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> duh had to dedicate yet another chapter to michael’s daddy kink, knack for getting out of trouble, and adoration for jeremy’s interest in acting 
> 
> fuck I love him ugh <3
> 
> xofaith 
> 
> ps def dm me on ig @trashonmars or @heereandqueere. I love making friends and I promise that I’m 100x more awkward than u


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heavy sexytimes towards the end of the chapter!! no sex, just, yea. you can skip. I’ll summarize

Jeremy and Michael stopped by Dairy Queen on the way home. They were glad that their town was so full of fast food joints that they’d probably never get a chance to visit all of them. Plenty of date opportunities, because they both loved to eat. 

Michael took a bite of his dipped cone and shook his head at his boyfriend. “You’re a literal abomination. I don’t think I can be friends with someone who comes to DQ and _doesn’t_ get a dipped cone,” he mocked disgust, licking the sides of his ice cream before they dripped under the chocolate shell. Jeremy rolled his eyes and pointedly sipped from his frappé loudly. “Uh, good thing I’m your boyfriend then. Besides, it’s literally the same thing, just no cone and lasts longer,” he retorted. 

“Bull. It may last longer, but you weren’t able to get anything out of it for five minutes ‘cause it was so frozen,” Michael pointed out, gesturing to his own cone. “See here? I don’t have a problem.” 

Jeremy pouted. “Shut up, it’s good and it’ll last me longer. It’s been a long time since we’ve started coming to Dairy Queen, and I’ve always gotten the caramel frappé thing. Same at McDonald’s. I’d appreciate if you kept your judgments away from my children, Sharon.” Michael snorted and licked his ice cream. “Listen, Lisa. I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but I don’t particularly like the taste of caramel, and I have to kiss you later anyways.”

The smaller boy felt his heart flutter. _Stop flirting with me in public._ “Stop flirting with me in public,” Jeremy spoke his mind, blushing profusely and sipping from his cup. 

Michael chuckled. “Aw, what, you think someone’ll hear us?” he teased, and Jeremy furrowed his brow. “Uh, yeah, I’d rather everyone not know that just days ago I had a bisexual awakening. That’s a little private.” Michael felt his chest tighten. He knew that Jeremy was joking, but didn’t he want to be seen in public with him? It’s not like they were necessarily PG-13 as best friends anyways. It wasn’t uncommon that they’d do embarrassing things in public together, like holding hands, giving each other piggie back rides (or mainly Jeremy riding Michael’s back when his feet got tired.)

Okay, that was PG, but in terms of regular friendship, maybe it was a few leagues above it. What was the addition of a few flirty comments and kisses? 

Upon seeing Michael’s dampened mood, Jeremy immediately felt guilty. He hadn’t really meant to say that. “U-Uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, Micah. I _want_ people to know we’re dating. It’s just that it’s all new to me. Even when I dated Christine, I wasn’t too into PDA. Just kiss me and I’ll deal,” he reassured Michael sincerely, and Michael smiled. Then Jeremy got an idea. 

He looked at his straw, which he had gotten a size too big for his medium drink. It was at least a good five inches above the lip of his cup. Jeremy shifted his gaze from Michael to his straw. Michael caught on. “O-Okay, uh, there’s a difference between casual kissing and deepthroating a fucking straw in public. L-Leave it f-for the house...” he faltered as Jeremy took a sip from his drink, glancing up at his boyfriend and literally going down on the straw. 

Fuck, that shouldn't be hot. Fuck Michael’s hormonally high libido. 

“J-Jeremy, stop,” he hissed quietly, moving his hands to cover his crotch. He didn’t want to risk anything. Instead of listening, Jeremy came back up, took a sip, and then went back down. He moved his hands to grip the cup as he continued, feigning quiet moans and fluttering his eyes. “Jeremy, I’m serious!” Michael whispered frantically, hoping that maybe if he ate some of his ice cream it’d distract him. 

Suddenly, someone appeared at their table, and Jeremy looked over quickly, the speed causing the straw to hit his gag reflex. He gagged loudly and held his throat, followed by coughing and the reddest face that Michael had ever seen in his life. 

Mr. Heere looked down at his boys and smiled, a sundae in his hand. “Hey, you two. I see that Jeremy has forgotten how to use a straw,” he chuckled innocently, probably oblivious to what had been happening. Straight people sure did do the most. 

“Y-Yeah. Uh, what’re you doing here?” Michael distracted Mr. Heere as Jeremy’s shock settled. Jeremy’s dad looked at the table behind him and pulled a chair up to the booth the boys were sitting in. “I dunno, got hungry. I was working from home today. In the mood for a brownie sundae!” he explained, and Michael shook his head in disappointment. “Is it just a Heere boys thing? This is deeply upsetting. No one appreciates the finer things in life,” Michael said as he gazed sadly at his dipped cone, exasperated. 

Mr. Heere popped the lid off of his sundae and sunk his spoon into his ice cream. “There’s an episode of _The Office_ where they have a club like that. I think that I should start a Finer Things Club at my office. Everyone there loves that show,” he mused, and Jeremy seemed to recover from his mishap. He was still so, _so_ embarrassed. 

“Yeah, well, Jeremy and I have to get home. To my house. Uh, we have to record an episode of a show we‘re watching,” Michael lied quickly, and Mr. Heere frowned. He had no friends, so it was nice to have some one-on-two time with his favorite sons. “Oh, uh, of course. Don’t want you to miss it,” he offered, watching as Jeremy and Michael shuffled out of the booth. They waved and made their way to the door. Before they could open it, Mr. Heere had had a moment of realization. 

“Wait, Michael doesn’t have cable!”

Jeremy literally threw himself out the door and speed-walked to his car. “You’re driving, I have to recover from my, uh, accident,” he muttered, unlocking his car. Michael took the keys and stuck them into the ignition. “I was very impressed. Too bad your dad had to ruin all of our fun,” he said coyly, and Jeremy tugged at his shirt collar to pull it up and hide behind the cloth. “Shuddup,” he peeped, and Michael chuckled as he buckled his seatbelt. “If you’re down, you can continue your deepthroating a straw at home. Except the straw is my penis,” he stated blatantly, pulling out of the driveway. 

“Oh my G-God, you dummy. Try to be discreet about how gay you are for once,” Jeremy mumbled, pulling his head out of his shirt. Michael glanced over at him and laughed, merging into oncoming traffic. “Oh, trust me, I try. This is minimum gay right now. If you’d like to see max gay, I’d be glad to show you my power shift,” he teased slyly, and Jeremy just drank more of his frappé. “How about when we get home. I’m feeling horny squared today,” he admitted sheepishly, to which Michael raised an eyebrow.

If Jeremy had been even hornier than usual, he couldn’t really tell. Maybe Jeremy was just horny 24/7 and had no concept of self-control. “Y-Yeah, uh, I could do that. No problem. Just, uh, stop flirting with me you dipspit,” he muttered quickly, his breath hitching slightly. He had meant to say dipshit, but dipspit worked too. That shouldn’t have turned him on either. 

Jeremy almost choked. “Dipspit? Now you listen to me, partner,” he projected loudly in his best southern twang, “Don’t you be makin’ fun of my weekend activities, ya’ opossum. If I wanna spit dip, I’ll spit dip to my heart’s content!” Michael laughed stupidly at Jeremy’s horrible impression. Jeremy didn’t actually know anything about the southern states, since he had never been there, and Michael had only been to Florida once to visit family. Needless to say, he had seen _Forrest Gump_ , so he knew enough about the Bible Belt. 

“Yeah, okay, I don’t think you know how that works, Jere,” Michael giggled, increasing his speed as he almost got stopped by a red light. Jeremy scoffed and sipped more of his drink. “Oh, yeah, ‘cause _you_ do? I’ve seen more Doc Holliday movies than you. _And_ I watched a swamp monster documentary that took place in the boondocks for some reason. So _ptt-ding_!” he joked lightly, pretending to spit dip into a pot. Michael scrunched up his nose. “Isn’t _Boondocks_ a show?” 

“Uh, it’s also, like, isolated country. Didn’t you take Geography?” Jeremy commented absentmindedly, trying not to veer too far from what he and Michael had suggested just moments ago. 

Michael shook his head and stopped at the stop sign leading to his street. “No. However, I do remember _not_ taking it when it could’ve fit into my schedule to instead take US History with this boy I had a crush on,” he recalled, looking both ways before pulling forward. Jeremy’s stomach twisted with jealousy until he realized that _he_ was that boy. 

“Remember our project on Alabama? That was a hoot,” Jeremy said fondly, and Michael cringed as he remembered their failure of a project grade. “Yeah, we failed that shit _hard_.” 

“I’m hard.”

”Jeremy, shut the fuck up and let me get to my house. I will literally fuck you in the passenger seat of your car. Do you want that? Do you want our first time to be in the passenger seat of a shitty, old car?” Michael said sternly through gritted teeth. It would’ve scared Jeremy if he wasn’t so horny. “Maybe. Unfortunately, I don’t travel around with condoms and lube in my car, unlike some people,” he squeaked, and Michael rolled his eyes. “Again, that was there when my mom got the car. I was as traumatized as you were, honey,” he recollected as he pulled into his driveway, glad that his mom wasn’t home yet. 

Jeremy didn’t think he could get out of a car as fast as he did just then. He started overthinking the situation, however, and paused before he shut the car door. Were they moving too fast? Was he even ready for this? It was Jeremy’s first time, and Michael seemed a lot more experienced than him. Had he already lost his virginity? And if he had, why would he keep it a secret from Jeremy. He felt his face get redder as he managed to close the car door. He took a final sip of his drink, but that bitch was empty. Yeet.

“Hey, you okay?” Michael asked suddenly, placing a comforting hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

Jeremy puckered out his bottom lip. “A-Actually, can we talk real quick?” he asked slowly, knowing that Michael would _never_ make him something that he was uncomfortable with. With a look full of concern, Michael nodded and took Jeremy’s free hand, leading him up the pathway to his front door. “Everything okay?” he inquired softly, unlocking the door and pulling Jeremy in. 

“Well, uh, I g-guess I’ve never asked you this. Are you, um, are you a virgin?” Jeremy asked, slightly embarrassed. Michael paused as he shut the door behind him, and then looked at Jeremy. “Of course I am,” he replied in a surprised tone. “Jeremy, you’re literally the only dumbass that’d ever sleep with me. I barely have friends besides you. I love you. I _loved_ you. I would never even fathom having sex with someone I didn’t care this much about.” Jeremy drew his lips into a thin line and let go of Michael’s hand to throw away his empty cup. “You’re making it sound like I’m an easy lay.”

Michael cursed under his breath and sunk into the living room love-seat. “Jesus, Jeremy, of course not. Here, come sit,” he offered, patting the spot beside him. Jeremy set down his bag and padded to the living room, falling down next to Michael and giving him a hurt and confused look. “Like, Micah, I’m not ‘the only dumbass that would want to sleep with you.’ I love you too, and I _care_ about you. I don’t want you to have sex with me just because I’m horny and an easy lay. I’m sure there are other people that would be more than glad to fuck you.” 

“N-No, no, Jere, I’m sorry, uh, forget what I said. I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. It’s just, uh, a lot to take in. Like really, Jeremy. Two days ago we weren’t talking because we were embarrassed about kissing each other. Now, we’re dating. I’m dating a ‘straight’ dude, my best friend, the guy I’ve been drooling over for years. It just seems too good to be true. It’s hard to believe that something so good could come my way,” Michael explained sweetly, taking Jeremy’s hands into his own. “Fuck, Jere, you’re not an easy lay. Just because your libido is higher than I get every Saturday night doesn’t mean that you’re easy to lay.” 

Jeremy smiled at Michael and kissed his cheek softly. “You mean that? I’m sorry that I got worked up. I just don’t want to move too fast. Like, we’ve barely been dating for over a day. I don’t want you to figure out how awkward I’ll be and then leave me because I’m bad,” he admitted, and Michael brought a hand up to Jeremy’s cheek. “Oh, baby, I’d never. Fuck, I told you, I’m a virgin. The most action I’ve ever gotten was getting caught masturbating. Well, before I sucked your wiggly dick, that is,” he joked, and Jeremy smacked him. Buzzkill. 

“Alright. Uh, I kinda killed the mood with all this sappy shit. Not that horny anymore. We should watch _It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia_ on Hulu and cuddle until I am,” Jeremy suggested, and Michael nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I’d rather not fuck with the thought of my amazing boyfriend feeling insecure about his virginity in the back of my mind.” 

———

“Charlie is literally you, Micah. I can’t believe you don’t see it. He just huffed non-toxic glue and ‘got high.’ Don’t pretend like it’s not you,” Jeremy pointed out, his head snuggled up against Michael’s chest. 

Michael scoffed. “What, you don’t think I’m a sexual deviant like Dennis? Or a macho gay like Mac? Is that all you think of me? I’m a stoner?” Jeremy chuckled and kissed Michael’s jaw. “Oh, babe, I’d never. It’s just that, like, look. He shares a bed with an old man, wears pajamas with a poop-chute in the back... I dunno, I imagine that being you in a few years.” 

“Then you can be the waitress.”

Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Sure, yeah. Well, I guess it’s not too far off. Realizing my love for you only years after suffering from violated restraining orders and then getting pregnant with your baby? Definitely me.” 

“Duh. You can be my AA sponsor for an episode while I continue drinking but get to woo you. To no avail,” Michael teased, and Jeremy clucked at him. “You woo me, _to_ avail,” he flirted, and Michael laughed. “That doesn’t make any sense,” he replied, leaning down to kiss Jeremy as the episode changed. Neither of them had been particularly horny after their chat, but they also knew that they didn’t have to have sex the second day of their relationship. They had time. Since they had known each other for twelve years and been in love for a while now, they figured that it wouldn’t be the same as having sex in a brand new relationship.

Jeremy shifted so that he was leaning over Michael, his hands on either side of the beanbag they were cuddling in. He deepened the kiss, relishing in the calming effect it had on him. God, he loved Michael.

“Mph,” Michael mumbled into the kiss, tangling his fingers in Jeremy’s hair. “Love it when you take control. Such a good boy.” Jeremy smiled to himself and took Michael’s bottom lip between his own. He hummed in reply and let his thumb ghost Michael’s cheek. He pulled back momentarily to leave kisses down Michael’s neck, with the intention of leaving a hickey or two. He didn’t really know how, since he had only ever given himself a hickey (for research), but he guessed that he did a good job. Michael moaned needily under him, letting one of his hands wander up the back of Jeremy’s shirt.

Just as Jeremy started getting really into it, his phone started vibrating in his back pocket. Michael groaned in frustration. “Leave it,” he whined, trying to pull Jeremy back up to his mouth. “It could be my dad or something.” He kissed Michael once more and leaned into his chest, bony elbows digging painfully into Michael’s ribcage. Jeremy pulled out his phone. 

“Rich?” 

Michael rolled his eyes and pulled Jeremy down by the hips, pressing his lower half against his boyfriend. Jeremy tried not to blush as he answered the phone. “H-Hello?” he muttered, and Michael decided to have some fun. He started kissing Jeremy’s ear, leaving a trail of kisses along his jawline and down his neck. 

“Jeremy, hi. Uh, thith ith kinda awkward, not gonna lie. I need you and Michael to come here. To my houthe. Yeah, uh, I have a... thituathion. I know Michael’th there,” Rich rushed awkwardly, and Jeremy furrowed his brow in confusion. He shifted to put Rich on speakerphone, yelping in surprised as Michael rolled him over off of the beanbag and pinning him against the ground. Michael was shocked that it had gone down so smoothly, even though Jeremy had dropped his phone. His confidence climbing slowly, Michael held a finger to his mouth and then leaned down to plant a kiss on Jeremy’s mouth before working at sucking hickeys into his pale neck. 

“Yeah, uh, s-sure. What’s happening? _Fuck_ ,” Jeremy asked, hissing the last word under his breath. Michael had strategically placed his knee against Jeremy’s groin, rubbing against it with an innocent, smug look on his face. Rich paused for a moment, like he was thinking. “Don’t make fun of me. Jake and I were trying out thethe new handcuffth and, uh, apparently they didn’t come with a key,” he admitted, apparently embarrassed. Usually, Rich probably would’ve made a joke about the situation; it must’ve been pretty serious. Michael chuckled quietly to himself as he toyed with the hem of Jeremy’s shirt, tugging at it and looking at Jeremy for permission. 

Jeremy swallowed and nodded 

“That’s, uh, unfortunate. Why do you need o-our help?” Michael started licking a stripe down Jeremy’s flushed torso. Fuck him. Rich sighed. “You’re on thpeaker, by the way. Jake called you on my phone before going to dithtract my parenth. My mom. The got home early I gueth,” he said quietly. Jeremy blushed as Michael unbuttoned his pants. They were really doing this? Right then? 

His breath got caught in his throat. “Oh, is that r-right? _Michael!_ ” Jeremy choked squeakily as Michael started palming him through his boxers. There was no way that Rich hadn’t heard that. 

“Oh, thorry to interrupt. I’m picking up on thum thexthytime! I can call thomeone elthe. I thought that Michael would know how to fixth thith,” Rich said smugly, and Jeremy whimpered. God, he was so embarrassed. Michael looked up at Jeremy through hooded lids. “‘Course, Rich. We’ll be over soon. Just trying to get in a quick gay before,” he teased Jeremy, who had the urge to crawl into a hole. Rich giggled on the other end of the line. “You two are funny. We like you. You’re kinky... Maybe kinkier than me and Jake. We can lend you thethe handcuffth thometime,” he offered, and Michael wiggled his brows at Jeremy.

Jeremy mouthed a stern “stop” at his boyfriend, who continued kissing his hips and handfucking him. If he kept it up, Jeremy would cum within the next few minutes. 

“N-No, we, uh, we’re good. We’ll be over in a sec,” Jeremy managed, and then he heard Jake come into Rich’s room. “I told her that there was a two-for-one sale at Pier-1. Bitches love Pier-1. Oh, hey Jere!” Jake said obliviously, and Jeremy winced. Jesus, could it get worse? 

“Hey d-dude,” Jeremy muttered, holding in a moan as Michael started sucking hickies along his waistband. He’d be a walking hickey by the time they were done. Rich chuckled over the phone. “They’re having thome heavy thexthy time. Can’t you hear Jeremy? He’th a whiny meth,” he exposed his friend, and Jeremy couldn’t help the moan that slipped out of his mouth as Michael’s palming increased in speed. His boyfriend’s smile only grew. 

Jake laughed. “Oh my God, scandalous! Stop Jeremy, that’s turning me on. Fuck, Rich still has his handcuffs on... See you soon. Don’t be surprised if we don’t answer the door for you two. It’s unlocked,” he mused suggestively, and then the line went silent. They must’ve hung up.

” _Shit_ , Micah, not co-ol!” he moaned loudly, instinctively grabbing a fistful of Michael’s hair and pushing him down to his boxers. Michael grinned and kissed the base of Jeremy’s boner through the thin fabric as Jeremy groaned loudly, finishing _in his boxers_. God, he was gross. 

Michael gazed at Jeremy lovingly. “God, you’re so pretty. Look at how marked up you are. You were such a good boy when you were on the phone. I’ll make sure to reward you later,” he remarked, winking. He kissed Jeremy once more and sat back, struggling to his feet. Jeremy was still in shock, twitching every now and then as his hard-on went limp. 

“Fuck you,” was all he could manage. He needed new underwear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, I can’t stop writing gay shit. so yea, basically Rich gets stuck in handcuffs at his house w Jake and called Jeremy and Michael to come help. apparently there weren’t any keys haha 
> 
> I’m trash. should I start, like, putting little *** or something to mark explicit material?? is that a thing? let me know :)
> 
> xofaith


	14. Chapter 14

Jake hadn’t been kidding when he said that he wouldn’t answer the door for Jeremy and Michael. After standing outside the door awkwardly for five minutes and knocking every thirty seconds, they realized that Jake and Rich were probably busy. Michael inhaled sharply and looked over at Jeremy, who was still kind of in shock over the fact that Michael had given him a hand-job? While he was on the phone? 

“Well, I guess they’re busy,” Michael broke the silence, and Jeremy looked longingly at his car. He was still pretty horny, especially since he couldn’t stop thinking about Michael palming him mid-conversation. He nodded and looked back at Michael, who kissed him and opened the door. “C’mon, Boners, we’re here! I brought my dad’s bolt cutter, which is, like, the only tool I can name,” Michael called as he and Jeremy let themselves in, and his voice echoed back through the spacious living room. Rich’s family was pretty loaded, and they had been to their house before. However, it was always such an upgrade from Michael and Jeremy’s house that they had to take a moment to admire the view. 

They heard some noise from upstairs, and Jake emerged from Rich’s bedroom shirtless, covered in scratch marks and sweat. The sight made Jeremy slightly uncomfortable. 

“Hey, dudes. He’s up here. Excuse the mess,” he said slyly, motioning for them to come upstairs. Michael led the way, the bolt cutters in his right hand. “Why did you bring that? It’s a dangerous power tool and it’s not gonna solve Rich’s problems,” Jeremy informed Michael, who scoffed. “What do you know about tools? I’m the Bear Grylls here. Besides, he’s, like, chained to the bed,” Michael retorted, and Jeremy squinted up at him. “He’s _handcuffed_ to the bed frame, dumbass. We need, like, a bobby-pin,” he stated, and Michael paused. Crap.

Jake watched as Jeremy and Michael argued casually back and forth, feeling sad for them. Not everyone could have the relationship he and Rich did, which was free of arguments and full of–

“Oh, dudeth, that’th tho rad! Are we gonna fuck thit up with that when you get me out of thethe?” Rich squealed excitedly upon seeing Michael’s bolt cutters. Jeremy shook his head. “No, Michael doesn’t know about tools and thinks that Bear Grylls has a power tool kink. Does your mom use bobby-pins?” he joked, and Michael held up the tool threateningly. 

Rich nodded and shifted slightly, and Jeremy noticed that his hands were starting to turn purple at the draining of blood. It made him feel nauseous. 

“Yeah, Jake, go help Michael find them,” Rich instructed pointedly, glancing from Jake to Jeremy. That made Jeremy even more uncomfortable. Jake nodded knowingly, taking Michael by the bolt cutters and leading him off to Rich’s mom’s room. 

Rich looked back up at Jeremy. “Fanthy theeing you here like thith,” he mumbled suggestively, and Jeremy rolled his eyes. He made his way to the other bed that Rich kept in his room for Jake, though everyone knew that it was pretty pointless. Ever since Jake’s house had been burnt down, Ms. Goranski had felt awful about the incident. She insisted that Jake move in with them, providing a warm bed and new clothes for her son’s boyfriend in a heartbeat. It was endearing. She was aware of Rich’s relationship with Jake and was completely okay with it. Jeremy started thinking about how everyone he knew was either gay, bi, or ace, but no one was straight. Wait, wasn’t Chloe straight? And Brooke? 

“Tho,” Rich started, his smile widening. “I heard you on the phone. That mutht’ve been pretty hot, huh? I’m thurprithed at how fatht you’re moving. Thtill think you’re thtraight?” His eyes fell on Jeremy’s neck, which was obviously littered with hickies from Michael. 

“N-No, of course not,” Jeremy retorted sourly, crossing his arms. “I love Michael. I can’t believe it took me so long. And stop talking about that phone call, perv. You and Jake should give it a try. How’s living together?” Rich snickered and pondered upon Jeremy’s question. “Weird. I keep hearing and reading about how coupleth get tho tired of eat-th other, but me and Jake are alwayth entertained. Very weird. I love him tho mut-th, and it’th weird that we’re thtill in the puppy love phathe,” he replied, and Jeremy looked at him quizzically. 

“‘Puppy love phathe?’” he repeated blankly, and Rich furrowed his brow. “You’re lucky I’m in thethe handcuffth, Heere. I’d fuck you up! Don’t make fun of my lithp!” Rich roared, making a show of pulling at the handcuffs. Jeremy shook his head innocently. “No, really, what’s a puppy love phathe?” 

Rich took a breath and remembered how absolutely oblivious Jeremy was. God, it must be hot for Michael to tease Jeremy all the time and have him be so innocently oblivious. “Puppy love phathe. _Phathe_. Thit, _phathe_. Jethuth, okay, P, ATETH, A, ETH, E.” 

“Oh, ‘ _phase_.’”

”Yeth,” Rich said calmly. “Phathe. Puppy love phathe. It’th when you kith eat-th other all the time and can’t keep your handth off of eat-th other. After you fuck, it’th, like, non-thtop fucking. All day. Every day. It’th wild! But after that, it’th thuppothethed to be, like, you get bored or uthed to routine. And then, if it’th a bad relathionthip, it jutht endth.”

Jeremy’s gaze saddened as Rich explained this new concept to him. Sure, he had seen movies and read books about people dating and being in love, but this was real life. He thought back to his mom and how her and his dad had been together for so long. They didn’t fight much, and it wasn’t like they both lost interest. Maybe he just didn’t have an example in his life? Then he thought about Christine. He liked her until a better fit for him came along. What if Michael did the same? What if he pretended like he didn’t know, just like Jeremy did with Christine, and then kiss someone one day and fall in love with them all over again? 

The possibilities made Jeremy panicky. 

As Rich opened his mouth to ask if Jeremy was okay, Jake and Michael returned with a large plastic bag of bobby-pins. “Took forever, but here,” Jake said, setting the bag down at the foot of Rich’s bed. Rich scowled at him. “Uh, how am I thuppothed to reat-th that? I’m fucking thtuck, Jakey,” he reminded him angrily, and Jake chuckled. 

“Right, my bad.”

Michael opened the bag and took one out, rounding the bed to work at the lock on the handcuffs. _These are so cliché_ , Michael thought to himself as he pushed some of the pink fur out of the way, trying to find the keyhole. Upon finding it, he stuck the bobby pin in, moving it around until he felt the spring that held the lock in place. 

Jeremy didn’t really follow what was happening. All he could focus on were the sad thoughts of Michael inevitably leaving him and falling in love with someone else. He didn’t want to think about their relationship ending so soon, but his anxiety got the best of him. His palms got sweaty as he watched Michael work. Jake took a break from flirting with Rich and looked over at Jeremy. “Y’okay, man? Yeah, I’d get a little flustered too if I saw my boyfriend unlocking some dude’s handcuffs. You’re probably thinking about yourself as Rich anyways.” 

Jeremy swallowed hard, deeply embarrassed. Instead of thinking about Michael leaving him, he starting thinking about himself in handcuffs and Michael being hella dominant as usual. Those thoughts were much more comforting.

Michael chuckled dryly but turned around to check on Jeremy, whose face looked drained. Slightly concerned, Michael made a mental note to ask Jeremy about it later. He turned back around and tried one more time to unlock the stupid things, and with a resounding _click_ , Rich shot up like he had been drowning. “God, that feelth _tho_ good. My poor handth!” he cried, stretching out his fingers as Jake took them into his much larger hands for examination. “Hm, Dr. Jakey D. in the house. I think I’ll, uh, need to examine these further... If I could politely ask our company to step out?” he role-played, making Jeremy exponentially more uncomfortable than he already was.

Michael backed up and set the bobby-pin on Rich’s bed, holding his hand out to Jeremy, who took it with unintentional force and pulled himself up. “Yeah, we should get going anyways...” Michael trailed, leading Jeremy back out the door before Jake could start his “check-up.” 

“God, they’re fucking weird. Promise we’ll never do that so often in front of people,” Michael commented as soon as they were out of earshot, and Jeremy nodded wordlessly. Rich’s words still echoed in the back of his mind. He didn’t want to worry Michael with them, especially since he had already killed the mood once that day with a sad, emotional talk. Michael climbed back into the car and put the key in the slot, turning on the car. 

“You okay, Jere?” Michael asked, trying to sound casual and inviting. His concern was definitely giving him away.

Jeremy bit the inside of his cheek. Michael hadn’t planned on having sex later, had he? Then again, Michael was spontaneous. Jeremy didn’t want to kill the mood, or the soon-to-be mood. However, he also knew that he wouldn’t be able to do anything sexually with all of Rich’s descriptions looming over him. 

“Not really. It’s just something stupid that Rich s-said,” he started nervously, buckling up and turning on the seat warmer. The warmth was enough to alleviate some of his anxiety. He knew that he should’ve been comfortable talking to Michael about anything, but he also didn’t want to make Michael feel guilty.

Michael rolled his eyes and backed out of the driveway. “Rich can shut his mouth. Did he bother you while I was gone?”

Jeremy shrugged and reached for Michael’s hand, which he took in his own and stared at blankly. “Not really. He wasn’t, like, flirting or anything. It’s just, uh, do you know what ‘puppy love’ is?” he asked quietly. Michael squinted at Jeremy in confusion and nodded. “Yeah, who doesn’t?”

”Me.”

Michael realized that he had sounded a little insensitive. The term was pretty popular, but he could see why Jeremy didn’t know exactly what it entailed. “Oh, so, do you want me to explain it?” he asked, still puzzled. Jeremy shook his head. “N-No, uh, Rich already did. Or tried to. I know I shouldn’t trust him on this, because he was a weird-ass relationship with his boyfriend. But, like, he said after the puppy love phathe – phase, sorry – couples start, uh, arguing. Falling out. Losing interest. Breaking up...”

Saying it out loud helped Jeremy come to terms with the fact that that was literally him and Christine when they were dating. 

Michael tensed up immediately, his grip on the wheel and Jeremy’s hand tightening. _Fuck Rich._

“Yeah, anyways, I don’t, uh, I don’t want that to be us, is what I guess I’m afraid of right now. Like, I love you. Our relationship just started. We, uh, we love each other, right? We won’t fall out and lose interest, yeah?” Jeremy practically begged for validation. Michael’s stomach did flips in his stomach.

Did Jeremy really think, especially after all they had been through, that he was just some fling to Michael? _Still?_ Why couldn’t Jeremy realize that Michael loved him? That he wanted to be with him? How could he explain that in a sensitive yet effective way?

”Did Rich tell you that only bad relationships end that way?” Michael finally asked, his voice quiet. He ran his thumb over Jeremy's knuckle. Jeremy nodded, but didn’t say anything. Michael took a shaky breath. “Do you think that this is a bad relationship?” 

Jeremy shook his head.

”Alright. Uh, when people are in new relationships, especially with people that they overanticipate having a relationship with, that’s what happens. Like, when they don’t know the _real_ them. How long have you been my friend, Jeremy?” Michael explained calmly. “Twelve years,” Jeremy interjected, his anxiety soothed by Michael’s words and reassurances.

”Right. _Twelve years._ Do you think that you know the real me, Jeremy? Have I lost interest yet?“ Jeremy shook his head again, his smile returning to his face. 

Michael thought a bit more on the subject, trying to wrap it up. “Y-You know how Jake and Rich are so obsessed with each other physically? They’re both pretty boys, kinda. Like, they’re into sports and very masculine. That’s how they show affection. It doesn’t mean that their relationship won’t last long. It means that that’s how their relationship is,” he added, and Jeremy leaned over to kiss his cheek.

”Yeah, I’m sorry,” Jeremy apologized swiftly, looking back at his grip on Michael’s hand. “I’m sorry that I’m a nervous wreck. Fuck, Michael, at the altar I’ll probably still be worried about the same things. I love you more than life itself. I’ll try to be more confident in our relationship. I shouldn’t be worried about things like this.” His worries seemed silly just then. Comical, even. It was like he hadn’t even been listening to Michael through their not even forty eight hours of dating. 

Michael smiled as they pulled back into his driveway. “Yeah, well, I should give you more reasons to be confident in it. You feeling it after another sad conversation? I’m weirdly turned on right now. I like reaffirming my beliefs and gushing over how much I love you, baby boy.” 

Jeremy blushed and unbuckled. That alone was enough to coax him into being physical with his boyfriend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that this chapter is kinda just filler! I love really drawing it out like this, bc Jeremy’s anxiety is kinda annoying to write about. it reminds me of my own insecurities in my relationship, but, like, gotta be relatable! it kinda helps me feel better about mine :))
> 
> anyways, this will probably end soon. I kinda want a biG climax or something. any suggestions? like fuck, let’s murder someone ;) 
> 
> xofaith


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: big gay in this chapter like fr I’ll mark it w *** so u know thanks :))
> 
> xofaith
> 
> ps holy crappoli this is a long chapter why did I write so much about awkward sex

Jeremy wished that he could find some of Michael’s pajamas that would’ve fit him better than a raggy old pair of sweatpants. They were a little big and not Jeremy’s style, but he just wanted to wear Michael’s clothes. In fact, he had lied to Michael, telling him that he didn’t actually have any more clean pajamas, when in fact, he had a full drawer.

Jeremy had a weird love for pajamas.

He looked at his scrawny body in the bathroom mirror, suddenly feeling self-conscious about his lack of muscle definition. It could be worse, he knew, but he felt really wimpy just then. Jeremy smirked to himself as he noticed the many hickies that he had collected over the past almost two days, and a warm feeling came over him. He still couldn’t believe that he and Michael were boyfriends, that they were dating... 

That they were going to fuck that night. Maybe. Probably. 

Jeremy snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a quick knock at the door. He frantically tightened the string on the sweatpants and tied it in a neat bow, then opened the door (which he didn’t bother to lock) for Michael. 

“Hey hot stuff,” Michael smirked, slipping past Jeremy and smacking his butt because he could. Besides, that ass was his. 

Jeremy may as well have just had a permanently red face with how often he blushed nowadays. It had gotten beyond ridiculous. Every single sly comment or compliment that Michael made, every time he kissed him or held his hand or someone else said something about their relationship... It couldn’t be healthy. He wouldn’t have any blood left in his body since it had all rushed to either his cheeks or his dick. “‘Sup,” he replied nonchalantly, or at least tried to. If he were being honest with himself, he was excited to lose his virginity. That was something that he had wanted to do before, that the SQUIP had promised. It had almost happened, but completely against Jeremy’s will. 

He froze as he recalled the loss of control he had had over his body in Jake’s room on Halloween. The memory send chills down his spine, and he tried to shake it off as he looked up at his boyfriend. Michael grinned hazily and leaned down to kiss him. 

“Mm, I see you’re admiring my presents,” Michael whispered hoarsely, his eyes brushing along Jeremy’s neck and torso. His fingers ghosted the marks as he made his way to Jeremy’s hip, pulling him into another kiss. Jeremy’s eyes fell closed, his body automatically deepening the kiss. He bit Michael’s bottom lip playfully, causing the taller to moan and pull back. 

Jeremy pouted needily. “Not yet,” Michael uttered effortlessly, his tone of voice enough to make Jeremy melt on the spot. God, he was so gay for Michael Mell.

He looked back at his naked torso in the mirror, picking up the shirt that he was also borrowing from Michael’s wardrobe. It was some fucking ironic Minecraft shirt, but Jeremy couldn’t imagine a better outfit to lose his virginity in. 

Upon seeing Jeremy put the shirt on, Michael stopped brushing his hair momentarily. 

They had spent the time since getting home watching Disney movies and Vine complications, to Jeremy’s great dismay, but Michael remembered promising him that it’d boost his libido. Bullshit, but Jeremy complied eventually. “Hey, why’d you put that on? I was enjoying the art,” Michael murmured, and Jeremy looked up from his toothbrush. He was just trying to be hygienic, but he wouldn’t be able to get through his nightly routine if Michael kept it up. 

“It’s s-so fucking cold!” Jeremy whined, which wasn’t a lie. As per Michael’s insistence, the house was always kept at a freezing sixty five degrees, air conditioning on full blast. Jeremy hated it, because he was cold all of the time anyways. However, it usually meant that Michael let him borrow his hoodie, even when they weren’t dating. Michael frowned at Jeremy’s reflection and set down his hairbrush. “It’s not _that_ cold. Don’t be a baby,” he teased lightly, walking towards the door like he was going to leave. However, he didn’t. 

Instead, Michael stood behind Jeremy, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and placing his chin on top of Jeremy’s mop of messy hair. 

“I’m not b-being a baby,” Jeremy stuttered as he gazed at Michael’s face in the mirror, and he stuck his toothbrush in his mouth. Michael cocked a brow at him and grinned lazily. “Mm, I think you are. No one else complains besides you.” 

Jeremy scoffed, slobber unattractively leaking out of the side of his mouth. “Uh, it’s you and your mom. Sometimes your dad. You’re all used to it,” he retorted around his toothbrush, putting one hand on the bathroom counter and using the other to brush his teeth. He knew that things would progress from there, but he didn’t know when. He just hoped that he’d be able to... move the process along more quickly.

Michael felt his breath hitch in his throat as he gazed at Jeremy’s reflection. God, he was so cute and pale and perfect. He really fucking loved Jeremy Heere. 

“Uh, correction, you practically _live_ here,” Michael snorted, and Jeremy switched the side he was brushing. “Do not. Maybe I just like being around you,” he argued sweetly, leaning back into Michael. Well, ass-first. He was classy. 

Michael maintained his composure as Jeremy moved against him, leaning his heading against Jeremy's and resting his chin on his shoulder. He kissed Jeremy cheek and looked back at the mirror. “I wanna stay like this forever,” he mumbled, content to actually stay like that until he died. Jeremy’s heart fluttered and he smiled as he spit into the sink, rinsing off his toothbrush and his mouth. Michael had to lean back when Jeremy finished, but he was fine with the break of contact. 

“Me too,” Jeremy replied once he came back up, bringing Michael’s head back to his shoulder. He held him there for a few seconds before prying Michael’s arms off of him, to Michael’s disappointment. “Boo, we couldn’t stand like that for a few more minutes? You’re no fun,” he protested, tilting his head. 

Jeremy smirked as he turned around to look at Michael. He gazed at his lips, then at his eyes, waiting for _someone_ to make a move. 

Michael closed the distance between them slowly, letting his lips ghost Jeremy’s as he continued breathing softly. His hot breath made Jeremy squirm desperately. “Mm, I can be fun,” Jeremy said, unsure at first but building confidence when he saw Michael’s grin widen. “Yeah? How so?” Jeremy leaned up as closely as he could without letting his mouth meet Michael’s, and then showed Michael his idea of “fun.”

Jeremy impulsively grabbed Michael’s glasses, pulling back before Michael could snatch them. He giggled and darted out of the room as quickly as Jeremy Heere, the bony, limp noodle could. Michael attempted to chase his boyfriend, but didn’t manage well without his glasses. Shit was pretty blurry without them, causing him to want to rub his eyes until he could see straight. Except he couldn’t, because his eyesight fucking sucked. 

He made out his room’s furniture, which wasn’t easy because it was already getting pretty dark on top of him being blind as fuck. “Jere, you dick, get back here!” Michael called, making out Jeremy’s figure as he waved his glasses above his head. 

“ _You are what you eat_ ,” Jeremy mimicked Michael, putting on his glasses and sticking out his tongue. Michael chuckled and approached Jeremy, who was standing in front of Michael’s bed. Michael took his glasses back from his annoying fuck of a boyfriend and slid them back onto his face, pushing them up to prevent them from falling. 

“Oh really? Eating dick is against your religion, Jeremy,” Michael mused, not really knowing what he was saying. He was just so overcome with love and lust for Jeremy, his boy aching with want. He _needed_ to fuck Jeremy. 

The shorter of the two smirked and threw his arms around Michael’s neck, pulling himself up to peck Michael’s lips. “A dude eating dick is against literally every religion, cutie. Let’s skip the formalities, shall we? Just fuck me, Micah,” Jeremy begged in a hushed voice, tired of all of this waiting and teasing. 

***

”God, you don’t have to ask me twice,” Michael sighed, relieved. He leaned back down and brought a finger under Jeremy’s chin, connecting their lips and kissing him softly. However, Jeremy grew more and more restless by the second. He kissed Michael back forcibly, moaning against Michael’s mouth to convey the sense of urgency he intended to. 

Michael’s heart beat loudly in his ears, excited, nervous, everything. He couldn’t tell if he wanted to fuck a tree or vomit. Probably both. He slowly pushed Jeremy back onto his bed, never breaking their kiss. He started thinking as they made out for a few more minutes. Thinking about how long he had waited for this. About how many times he had fantasized this moment. About how in that moment, there was nothing and no one besides him and Jeremy. 

Jeremy broke the kiss to readjust, moving ninety degrees so that he was laying on the bed like a normal fucking person. A small voice in the back of Jeremy’s head told him that he should be nervous or doubtful, but Michael’s confidence and love was contagious. He didn’t feel awkward or unsure at all as he pulled Michael down on top of him, resting his hands on the small of Michael’s back. Jeremy relished the few anxiety-free moments that he was experiencing, only thinking about Michael and everything that had happened. He remembered Michael breaking down in the car, crying in the Burger King restroom, ignoring him the next day, eating breakfast as an apology, kissing him, discovering his sexuality... It was all too much. Without realizing it or thinking much, Jeremy had started crying. 

Michael opened his eyes momentarily when he felt something warm and wet creep into his kiss. Jeremy was crying. He pulled back nervously, scared that he had done something wrong already. Any confidence that he had been building up before suddenly began fading away. 

Jeremy’s eyes flew open, looking up at Michael in confusion. “A-Are you okay? Did I do something?” Michael stuttered, his face growing warm and reluctant. Jeremy brought a hand up to his face and wiped away a tear, realizing that he was crying. “Oh my G-God, no, of course not! No, it’s fine! I’m just... I’m just so fucking happy, Michael,” he cried blissfully, pulling Michael back down to kiss him. Michael smiled into the kiss and deepened it once more, still in awe at his luck. 

He pulled back and perched himself above Jeremy, basically straddling him. “Me too. You have no idea,” he agreed, kissing Jeremy again before pulling his shirt over his head. Michael ignored his low self esteem when it came to his weight for that moment. He couldn’t care less as he removed the shirt, positive that Jeremy didn’t care either. The mutual love was too much for Michael. Fuck, if he had cancer, it probably would’ve cured it. 

Jeremy sniffled and gazed at Michael’s torso. It wasn’t pale and ghostly like his own, but rather a beautiful tan that Jeremy couldn’t get enough of. His eyes wandered to Michael’s collection of stretch marks, which looked like paintbrush strokes. He had so much love for every inch of Michael’s body, demonstrating this love by tracing the marks with a free hand. If it were under different circumstances with a different person, Michael would’ve felt deeply ashamed and probably would’ve put his shirt back on, but he loved Jeremy. He smiled as Jeremy traced the marks, adoring the soft skin and the way Michael grinned at him. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Jeremy muttered lovingly, leaning up to kiss Michael’s stomach. Again, he was really such a domestic person. He loved compliments and kisses. He lived for it. 

Michael reconnected their lips and realized that his glasses had definitely fallen down. Well, fuck awkwardness. He pushed his glasses back up, and Jeremy laughed quietly into the kiss. He was really just itching to learn all of Michael’s kinks, if he were being honest with himself. 

Since he knew that Michael would kiss him forever if he could, Jeremy decided to take charge of at least something. Get the ball rolling. He awkwardly moved his hands from around Michael’s back, his elbows cracking at the movement, to pull at Michael’s boxers, which he always wore to bed. In fact, Jeremy couldn’t recall a time when Michael actually went to bed with pajamas on. He’d usually wear a shirt until he got too hot, then he’d fling it off to the other side of the room and sleep in his boxers. 

Michael chuckled, his hot breath making Jeremy even more horny. Fuck, he wanted Michael. 

Michael pulled back and rolled Jeremy’s shirt over his head, throwing it to the ground and leaving soft kisses over every hickey he had sucked into Jeremy’s pale skin. He admired the freckles that seemed like they had been spilt over Jeremy’s chest by accident. It was really fucking hot. Did Michael have a freckle kink? Did that even fucking exist? 

“Mm, Michael, dude, _please_ ,” Jeremy whined desperately, placing his hands on the back of Michael’s thighs and pulling him closer. Michael decided that he really liked teasing Jeremy. “Please what? What do you want Daddy to do, baby boy?” slipped off of his tongue before he could even stop himself. Shit, apparently he definitely had a daddy kink. Jeremy swallowed hard, actually into this. Never in a million years did he think that he’d actually have a daddy kink, or whatever he had. He could literally implode at Michael calling him baby boy, is what he knew. Whether that was a daddy kink or a whatever kink, he definitely suffered. “G-God, fuck me,” Jeremy pleaded, throwing his head back in sexual frustration. 

Why was Michael doing this to him? 

He realized all too late that he was definitely hard at that point, his unnaturally high libido causing his blood to rush to his dick the moment Michael started kissing him. It would’ve been pathetic under different circumstances. 

Michael smirked and leaned back over Jeremy, whispering hotly against his ear, “Then beg for it, Jere. You’ve been trying to get me to fuck you all afternoon, and now it doesn’t seem like you want it very much.” Neither of them knew what they were doing, but the extreme awkwardness from both sides ended up cancelling each other out. Everything that Michael did turned Jeremy on, and literally nothing he could say would reverse that. 

“M-Mm, Micah, I’ll be so _good_ for you. I want you. No, I _need_ you inside of me. Fucking tear me apart. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll be a good boy, I swear. I’ll be Daddy’s fucking _toy_ , but G-God, Michael, just fuck me already, I’m so fucking _hard_ ,” Jeremy moaned needily, his eyes screwed shut. Though he was already regretting what he was saying, he realized that he meant all of it. It wasn’t hard to beg Michael for sex when his boner was literally throbbing in pain. 

Michael bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. Fuck, he hadn’t expected that. Seeing Jeremy like that was enough to make Michael cum, and him talking like he was going to die without Michael’s dick would’ve pushed him over the edge had he not waited so long for this moment. “Shit, Jerm, y-you’re really fucking good at that. Wh-What a good boy,” he praised, and Jeremy shuddered happily. He felt like a fucking dog, but in a good way. 

Michael blinked quickly as his heartbeat continued pounding in his ears. This was so hot, but he couldn’t help but start thinking about how awkward things were going to get. What if he was bad at this and Jeremy didn’t want to be with him anymore? After all, it’s kind of hard to date someone who’s horny all the time knowing that you’re awful at sex. His thoughts continued to race as he untied Jeremy’s sweatpants – or rather, _his_ sweatpants. Michael grinned as he remembered Jeremy telling him that he didn’t have any pajamas left in his drawer, but Michael knew full well that he did.

Cute.

Jeremy wriggled uncomfortably as he got even harder, somehow. He shifted his leg as Michael pulled off his sweatpants – or rather, _Michael’s_ sweatpants. He laughed quietly to himself, so relieved that they were so close. He was ready to do anything Michael told him to. He just wanted to be with Michael. 

“Mm, God, you’re so pretty. I love you,” Michael marveled, kissing Jeremy again. He was about to finally start things when he felt his face go hot with embarrassment. 

Jeremy opened his eyes and looked at Michael expectantly. “Wh-What’s wrong?” he squeaked, embarrassed by the return of his trademarked pubescent Jeremy voice. Michael sighed and pouted. “Forgot the condoms.” 

If he were being honest, Jeremy could care less about condoms. He was aware of the possible risk of STD’s, but he nor Michael had had ever been with anyone. Did that matter? He didn’t even know. 

“O-Okay, uh, should we pick some up from the gas st-station or something?” Jeremy rushed, his face hot with embarrassment as well. Michael shook his head, almost as if relieved. “Oh, no, not like that. I have some in my bathroom. I’ve had them for, er, a while. Mom’s orders,” he admitted hotly, deeply mortified by the whole situation. He knew for a fact that the lube was in his nightstand, but he silently cursed himself for forgetting. “I’ll, uh, be right back. Don’t move,” he ordered with unintentional force, surprising himself at how hot he sounded. Was it gay to think that? 

Wait, wasn’t he about to have sex with a dude? 

Jeremy’s smile returned at Michael’s instruction, and he didn’t move as Michael made a beeline for the bathroom. Who the fuck kept condoms in their bathroom?

Michael returned with a single condom package, the gold packaging shimmering in the dim light of Michael’s lamp. Jeremy’s eyes followed Michael as he returned to his spot, but not before extracting a bottle of lube from the nightstand. Jeremy smirked and gazed hazily up at his boyfriend. “Interesting. I just use lotion,” he teased lightly, and Michael smiled. 

“You also don’t finger-fuck yourself. Yet,” he added as an afterthought, and Jeremy’s state of mind fell back into the gutters. Fuck, how did Michael manage to do this? 

Jeremy bit his bottom lip and noticed that his hands had wondered back to Michael’s love handles. He rubbed small circles into the soft skin as Michael unwrapped the condom, placing the trash on the nightstand. This caused him to have to lean over Jeremy awkwardly, knocking him in the head with his elbow on the way back. Then it dawned on Jeremy that he really didn’t understand how gay sex worked. 

“U-Uh, I don’t wanna kill the m-mood, but where’s my condom?” he inquired as Michael started pulling down his own boxers. He stopped quickly and gazed at Jeremy. “ _Your_ condom?” Michael muttered, and Jeremy nodded awkwardly. Holy shit. “Jere, I’m the one who needs a condom. Shit, I forgot that you don’t really get how this works. How much do you know?” 

Jeremy felt his cheeks burning. “Well, I, uh, know it’s anal sex. Yeah? And, well, don’t we both do it at the same time?” Michael smiled at Jeremy with nothing but love in his heart for the clueless boy. He started wondering what couples actually had that stamina and flexibility. Good for them. 

“Mm, almost. Just... You don’t need a condom. Here, help me out with mine,” Michael offered, trying to set the mood once again for like the fifth time that night. Why was this so difficult? 

Michael wiggled out of his boxers, trying not to bump into Jeremy. After mumbling a few apologies, he handed Jeremy the condom and held himself over his boyfriend, continuing to partly straddle Jeremy as he swallowed nervously. Shit, didn’t their Health teacher demonstrate this on a banana?

Jeremy placed the condom on the tip of Michael’s member, still certain that he’d never get used to what Michael looked like. Then it dawned upon him that Michael’s dick would be in his ass. Holy shit. 

He rolled the condom over Michael carefully and slowly, doing his best to turn Michael on even more. To his delight, Michael’s breath came in harder, quicker pants. God, it made Jeremy less anxious about having his ass torn apart soon. 

“God, baby, you’re so hot. K-Keep it up, Jere. I’m gonna treat you so well,” Michael promised blindly, not really aware of what he was saying. Jeremy finished and looked back up at Michael, who smiled lovingly and backed himself up between Jeremy’s legs. He took the bottle of lube and poured some over his fingers. “Here’s what happens,” Michael explained slowly, his smile never leaving his face. “I have to prep you first. And I do that by–“

”Shoving your fingers in my ass,” Jeremy finished, a notion that should’ve been unappealing. However, his excitement only grew. Michael kissed him one more time and nodded. “Good boy, but when you say it like that, it makes it sound terrible. This may feel a _little_ uncomfortable at first,” he warned, but Jeremy didn’t care. 

Michael realized that he had forgotten to take of Jeremy’s boxers, but it was a lot easier to do now that he was off of him for a minute. After tossing Jeremy’s boxers blindly behind him, Michael placed a finger at Jeremy’s hole, then slid it in carefully. 

Jeremy would’ve winced at how cold Michael’s finger was, but he was tired of the teasing. However, he knew that he had to calm down. It was his first time. It was supposed to take forever to prepare. Michael pumped his finger a few more times, swallowing nervously before adding another. Jeremy groaned as Michael stretched him further, the sensation unusual but hot nevertheless. He couldn't believe that he had ever thought that he was straight. 

Just then, Michael’s fingers brushed against something. Jeremy moaned loudly at the contact, his hand grabbing the first thing he could find. Which happened to be Michael’s hair. 

Michael fought the urge to cum just then as he realized that he had found Jeremy’s prostate. Not something that he had really meant to do, but he realized that the information was beneficial. He smirked as he added one more finger, knowing that it would still be pretty painful for Jeremy no matter what. When he finished, Jeremy looked at him excitedly, pretty much vibrating. 

“Mm, God. C’mon, Michael, don’t wait, I can take it,” Jeremy assured him, pulling him down for a kiss. Michael’s smile deepened, and he lined himself up. “Baby, if you need me to stop or slow down, just ask, okay? I don’t wanna hurt you,” he said softly, and Jeremy nodded, pulling Michael down over him and kissing him again. 

Jeremy’s chest beat with excitement, which he could hardly contain. He just wanted Michael inside of him. Like, fuck, he _really_ wanted him. Jeremy let his thumbs draw circles into Michael’s bare back, encouraging him to hurry the fuck up. 

After taking a small breath, Michael took himself in his hand and gently pushed himself into Jeremy, whose sharp inhale scared Michael a bit. However, Jeremy didn’t say anything as Michael pushed himself in further, allowing himself time to adjust and become comfortable. He moaned quietly and let his eyes slam shut. Was he getting a headache? 

Michael kissed Jeremy’s forehead before pulling back out, then pushing back in. He went by fractions of his length, not wanting it to be too much for Jeremy. However, he picked up an unsteady speed quickly, moaning as he begged for friction. Jeremy adjusted quickly to the intrustion, the extreme pain subsiding into a pleasure he had never experienced. Had never thought of experiencing. 

He definitely had a headache. 

Jeremy’s breathing faltered, his nails dug into the soft skin on Michael’s back. Fuck, that’d leave a mark. The prospect of marking Michael up just made the situation hotter. Jeremy moaned as Michael suddenly hit his prostate again, calling out and definitely breaking Michael’s skin. 

“ _F-Fuck!_ God, d-don’t stop,” Jeremy yelped desperately, though Michael hadn’t intended on it. He continued thrusting into Jeremy, proud of himself for building a steady rhythm and making Jeremy so vulnerable and flustered. 

Michael felt himself getting close as his breathing turned into needy moans, Jeremy’s clawing at his back just adding stimulation. “Shit, Jerm, I fucking love you. I’m s-so close. Cum for me, baby,” he fucking purred, and Jeremy felt his orgasm building up without warning. “Michael!” he yelled/moaned, because it was all too much. The love he felt for Michael, the last week and a half, the sex. Fuck, he wasn’t even a virgin anymore. 

Jeremy came all over Michael’s bare chest, and also over his own. Jesus, it was such a mess. That pushed Michael over the edge, and he came into the condom as soon as he saw Jeremy’s face screw up in pleasure. 

Well, that didn’t last long. 

The boys panted heavily as they rode out their highs, muttering unintelligibly as they did so. It was the best feeling that either of them had every experienced physically, and Jeremy decided that this was a much better alternative to masturbating every morning. 

When they finished, Michael all but collapsed onto Jeremy, his breathing irregular and his face hot. His glasses were also askew. Jeremy looked up at him and chuckled, fixing his boyfriend’s glasses and kissing his forehead. “Holy fuck, Michael. That was so amazing,” he whispered breathlessly, and Michael rolled over. 

“ _You_ were so amazing,” he mumbled, taking off the condom and tying it off. He sat up slowly and looked at Jeremy’s torso. The sight was enough to send Michael into a strong desire for a round two, but he was way too tired. He needed to clean them up. 

***

“Stay here, I’ll be back,” Michael said with a grin, heading off to the bathroom to grab a towel. Jeremy laid down in Michael’s bed, processing what had just happened. It was amazing and had somehow brought him even closer to Michael. 

As Jeremy got caught up in the moment, he didn’t realize the throbbing pain in his head get stronger. Suddenly, he gasped as the pain practically tore his forehead apart, and he pressed his cold hand against his face to make sure it actually hadn’t. 

 ** _J-Jeremy_** , a familiar voice returned.

 _Fuck, really? Right now?_  Jeremy thought back at it, scowling at the ceiling. _Fuck off. I’m having a good time._

If the SQUIP was still strong enough to appear to Jeremy, it probably would’ve smirked at the comment. **_I’d sa-ay_** , it crackled, and Jeremy saw Michael approach him. “My, uh, the SQUIP is acting up,” Jeremy admitted as Michael pressed a damp hand towel against his chest. 

Michael smiled happily, because literally nothing could dampen his positive attitude. “Tell Keanu that I had a great time fucking you,” he teased, and Jeremy blushed profusely. Stupid Michael with his stupid hot comments. 

 ** _Tell Mi-ichael that I know, I’m inside of yo-our brain_** , the SQUIP retorted sourly. It paused momentarily.  ** _You know that if y-ou reactivated me, I could ma-ake you a better boyfriend._**

Jeremy looked up to shoot Michael a concerned look, but realized that Michael had left. Jeremy’s heart started pounding. His anxiety started fucking with him again. Was he a bad boyfriend? Michael didn’t seem to think so. But what if he did? He was more experienced than Jeremy, or at least he seemed like he was. Did Jeremy cum too soon? Was he bad in bed? Did Michael regret sleeping with him? Did his dick look weird? Was his twig body unattractive? Did his acne stand out too much? Where did Michael even go?

He tried to shake the thoughts away. The SQUIP was just trying to take advantage of him yet again. 

Michael returned with a bottle of red Mountain Dew, which he had managed to secure a week after Jeremy “got rid of the SQUIP” the first time. They had come to realize that there was no getting rid of it, but rather just drowning it out for long periods of time. 

Jeremy had a massive fucking headache. 

“Here, I’m sick of that robo-bitch. Mega-faggot,” Michael joked, pulling Jeremy up and handing him the liter bottle. Jeremy smiled and took a swig, his headache fading quickly, and he realized that he was thankful for Michael’s stupid fucking Vine references for once in his life. 

That'd never happen again. Jeremy Michael’s meme addiction. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case u missed the whole sex, it was just the boys being awkward as heck but havin good sexy time ;)) 
> 
> also jeremy’s head started hurting. important? maybe. what does this mean?? who knows 
> 
> xofaith


	16. Chapter 16

Jeremy woke up to the warm sun streaming into Michael’s room. His heart leapt when he realized that they were late to school. He sat up quickly and looked down at Michael, contemplating whether or not to wake up his sleeping boyfriend. Besides, they could always skip...

Wait, it was Saturday.

He flopped back into bed and huffed angrily. He could’ve easily slept in for a few more hours, but once Jeremy woke up, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. Instead, he decided to pass time by studying Michael’s face. Wait, holy fuck, they had sex last night. Jeremy wasn’t a virgin. 

Jeremy shifted slightly to face Michael and realized that he was awfully sore. Shit, why did his ass hurt so much? It didn’t hurt, like, _too_ much when Michael and him were fucking. What changed? He shook the thoughts away and got comfortable, then slid a hand under Michael’s warm face. Actually, Michael was really warm. How? It was, like, freezing. 

He planted a small kiss on Michael’s nose, knowing that he wasn’t awake and wouldn’t wake up. It made him feel secure, like this thing that they had going would last forever. He brushed his thumb over the corner of Michael’s mouth, noticing that it curled slightly at the touch. However, Michael still wasn’t awake. 

Cutie.

Jeremy gazed thoughtfully at Michael’s closed eyes. He had long eyelashes that girls would trade their souls for. Even though Jeremy was the one with freckles, Michael did have a few darker, pigmented spots on his cheeks and nose. His nose was a cute little button in the middle of his face, but it did have a light scar on the end of it from that time that he had fallen off of his skateboard during his skater phase. Michael would deny it, but he definitely had a skater phase. 

He thought back to that November day, where he and Michael had been talking casually about Christine and school and their families. Nothing new. Jeremy bugged Michael about his crush as usual, but to no avail. 

_“Look, I won’t tell anyone,” Jeremy promised profusely as Michael turned around, skateboard in hand. “Micah, I don’t even have anyone to tell.” Michael just looked at him and shook his head. “It’s nothing big, Jere. It’ll probably pass over when I realize that there’s no chance.”_

_Michael sounded really sad._

_Jeremy pouted and sat on the curb as Michael positioned his skateboard on the smooth concrete of the basketball court near their house._

At the time, they didn’t have a skate park.

_”Why didn’t you bring your protective gear? You’re gonna fall and get hurt,” Jeremy complained as Michael set a foot on the board. God, Michael was so cool._

_Michael scoffed and winked at Jeremy. “I have a good nurse in case I do.”_

_And then he did fall._

Jeremy blinked away the memory and focused on the scar. It had all happened pretty quickly. The mark on his nose probably could’ve disappeared by then had he not picked at it constantly. Michael was a huge scab-picker. Blood always made Jeremy feel nauseous, so he didn’t dare mess with the few cuts he gotten over the last few years. Honestly, Michael probably should’ve broken his nose. He did end up breaking his glasses, which made his mom really mad. He had to wear tape around the middle of them until a new pair could be ordered. 

Fuckin’ Harry Potter. 

Jeremy chuckled softly at the fond memory. He really did wish that he could lay like that forever, no worries, staring at Michael, recalling memories from their childhood. 

But then he started worrying again.

It suddenly occurred to him that he had unfinished business with the SQUIP, even though he had taken a sip of red Mountain Dew to soothe the voice for a while. What did his SQUIP even mean when it said that it could make him a better boyfriend? He didn’t think he was a terrible boyfriend. He also knew that the SQUIP thrived on his anxiety, taking advantage of his unsure thoughts and filling them with its own. 

But then again, the SQUIP couldn’t lie. 

Jeremy’s breathing got significantly quicker. Why didn’t the SQUIP think that he was a good boyfriend? He hadn’t done anything to suggest so, and it had been barely over two days since he started dating Michael. Maybe it was just the fact that everything was happening so fast. Besides, just over a week ago, wasn’t he convincing Michael that he was straight and in love with Christine? 

That must’ve been it.

He decided to push the thoughts to the back of his mind and talk them over with Michael in hopes of getting rid of the anxiety that made him think he was a bad boyfriend. 

Instead, he returned his attention to Michael’s sleeping face. He grinned and realized that Michael was definitely drooling. Oh, wait, drooling on Jeremy’s hand. He had forgotten that it was there. His hand had started going numb, so he couldn’t even feel the warmth of the slobber. 

He loved his boyfriend. 

Down the hall, Jeremy heard someone enter the kitchen, a pair of keys jangle, and then the front door open. It was Saturday, why was Mrs. Mell already leaving the house? 

The residence returned to silence, minus Michael’s soft breathing. 

Jeremy decided to get up, but didn’t wake up his boyfriend. Besides, he had done all the work last night. He carefully moved his hand, noticing with humor as Michael’s hand shifted up towards his now-gone one. He quietly sat up and moved his legs over the side of the bed, slipping out as quietly as he could. At some point, he had put the sweatpants back on, but decided to leave the shirt off. 

Big mistake; he was cold as fuck. 

He quietly padded to Michael’s pajama drawer, which was a mess of crumpled t-shirts and shitty knock-off sweaters that he had acquired over the past few years. Jeremy didn’t get pajamas from his own drawer, but rather a shirt that Michael had bought when he was on the school’s Yearbook Committee. He slid the blue shirt over is head and struggled to put it on without grunting quietly. He poked his head out to see that Michael was still sleeping. 

Jeremy adjusted the shirt and sighed. Much better. He shuffled out of the room, leaving the door cracked so that Michael would know that he had left the room. He walked down the hall and listened to his footsteps as his feet stuck to the boards slightly. He didn’t want to wake up his boyfriend, but he couldn’t be any more quiet. He looked up at the pictures that lined the wall. Michael and his brother. Michael and his dad. Mr. and Mrs. Mell. Michael and his grandma from Florida. Michael. Michael’s brother. Michael and the dog he had begged for for his fifth birthday. Rest In Peace Wolfgang Pup.

He then glanced at the remaining pictures on the other side of the hallway wall. Jeremy and Michael. Jeremy and Michael during Field Day. Jeremy and Michael at Jeremy’s seventh birthday party. Jeremy and Michael graduating from kindergarten. Jeremy and Michael and their failed volcano for Earth Science. Jeremy stopped at the last picture. 

Jeremy and Michael sleeping like two super gay pieces of shit. 

He smiled fondly as he saw himself in the picture against Michael, who had his arms wrapped around Jeremy's midsection. The picture warmed his heart. 

“Morning,” a hazy voice whispered from his left. Jeremy turned to see Michael, whose glasses were slipping off of his nose. He had put a shirt on, too, and his hair was sticking up in every direction. Had Jeremy woken him up? 

“Good morning,” Jeremy replied with a smile, running to give Michael a hug and morning kiss. Michael grinned to himself as he played with Jeremy's hair, his head in the crook of Michael’s neck. He shifted his head to lay on top of Jeremy’s, and he recalled the events of the night before. 

Fuck. 

Jeremy pulled back and grabbed Michael’s hand. “Sorry if I woke you up,” he apologized softly, pulling Michael to the picture of them sleeping together. He pointed and looked up at Michael’s exhausted features. “Can’t believe I thought I was straight,” he observed, noticing the way picture-Jeremy was being cradled by picture-Michael and loving it. 

“Is this allowed?” Michael asked sleepily, in a weird voice. “What the fuck? Is this allowed?” Jeremy punched him in the arm and looked back at the picture. Fuck Michael’s stupid Vine references. 

Michael snickered and swooped down to kiss Jeremy. “Mph. I’m hungry. My latte toaster pastries are calling my name,” he stated, cupping his ear. “Michael, Michael,” he whispered for effect, and Jeremy rolled his eyes. “Call them Pop-Tarts, nerd.”

Michael gasped, which turned into a yawn. “That’s trademarked, you filthy criminal. You’ll have to pay, like, ten cents every time you use the Lord’s name in vain,” he rambled. Did Michael even hear himself? Jeremy snorted and pulled Michael into the kitchen. “I thought you weren’t religious,” he replied. 

“You’re my religion.”

Jeremy smirked and opened the pantry, letting go of Michael’s hand to get two packages of Pop-Tarts. One latte, one chocolate sundae. “That’s not how it works. Sorry, I’m Jewish. I can’t change religions,” Jeremy mused, and Michael made a pouty face as Jeremy tossed him the Pop-Tarts. “That’s a shame, you’d be, like, head rabbi. I’d worship you. Wait, I do worship you,” Michael promised, and Jeremy squinted at him. 

“I don’t think you know how this works... Oh, hey, uh, your mom left,” Jeremy recalled, sitting down and opening his breakfast. Michael tilted his head slightly. “Oh. Where’d she say she was going?” he asked, and Jeremy shrugged. “Dunno, just heard her leave this morning. Does she have classes on the weekend?” 

“Hell if I know. We don’t talk much anymore. See, there’s this kid in my house that hasn’t left since a few days ago and I fucked him last night and realized that I didn’t even use lube. Does your ass hurt?” Michael mumbled, and Jeremy gave him a puzzled look. “You did use lube. My ass does hurt, though. It’s hella sore. Worth it,” he decided as he remembered seeing Michael’s face of pure ecstasy. 

He smiled at his Pop-Tarts. 

Michael shook his head. “No, I used lube to prep you, thank God. I was supposed to put some on my dick though. That probably would’ve made it, uh, not so hard to fuck you,” he admitted sheepishly, but then shook away the awkwardness. “But I had a good time, _baby boy_.” 

Jeremy almost choked. “I... I thought that that’s just a bedroom thing,” he muttered, and Michael shrugged. “Depends. I like seeing you blush. I’d never make it into a lifestyle or anything, though.”

A lifestyle? What did that even mean? “What do you mean?” 

Michael remembered that Jeremy really was a twink, even if he said that he was kinky. Michael knew for a fact that he could corrupt Jeremy, no problem, but that he probably only watched straight vanilla porn. “Some people, like, actually live the daddy/mommy and baby girl/boy life. Like, the kid in the relationship acts their desired age all the time, or most the time, and the parent, like, acts like a parent.” Explaining it made him a little uncomfortable. 

However, Jeremy was pretty eager to learn. Michael’s extensive knowledge on kinks made him feel clueless. “Huh,” he stated simply, then he took a bite of his Pop-Tart, chewing thoughtfully. “That doesn’t sound very appealing. I like what we have going right now.” 

Michael smiled in agreeance and leaned over the counter. “Hm. Well, me too. So, Jere, what kinks do you even have, then? You told me I’d find out but I think I’d rather hear you say them,” he teased, loving the way Jeremy’s pale skin reddened so easily. 

Jeremy swallowed hard. “M-My kinks? Uh, I don’t really know. It’s hard to tell when you’ve only had sex once,” he stuttered, already embarrassed and the day had barely started. Michael sucked in a breath and gazed at Jeremy. He sweet, perfect Jeremy. Shit, he had a Jeremy kink. 

“I guess. I knew some of my kinks before I had sex, though. I know I like getting my hair pulled. I know I have a thing for collarbones and hipbones. I like marking you up. I like it when, uh, you call me, er–“

” _Daddy?_ ” 

Michael really did fight the urge to reference another Vine. _Do I look like–?_ This was an important conversation. His heart fluttered at the way the word just rolled off of Jeremy’s tongue. “Y-Yeah, that. I liked it when you dug your nails into my back. That felt oddly nice. I like people knowing that you’re my boyfriend by looking at the hickies all over your neck, and I just love you. I’m sure the list of my weird Jeremy kinks and fetishes goes on, but those are just examples.” 

Jeremy pulled his lips into a thin line in concentration. Was he supposed to have that many kinks? Maybe that’s why he wasn’t a great boyfriend. He didn’t want to sound repetitive, but nearly everything Michael said made Jeremy shudder pleasantly. “Sure, yeah. I liked digging my nails into your back. I like being able to see that I, uh, did something to you. Like hickies and scratches. I like it when you call me baby boy or whatever, and I like it when we cuddle and kiss. I like misbehaving and making you mad because then you attack me with forceful kisses. Uh, I like your skin a lot. It’s very soft and, well, you don’t have any acne.” 

Michael snorted quietly and took another bite of his Pop-Tart. He just told himself that he could help Jeremy discover everything he was into. “Hm. Thanks? I was blessed with good genes. But baby, I’m gonna help you find out everything you like, and you’re gonna help me. That’s how it works,” he replied with a lazy grin, and Jeremy nodded eagerly. 

He wished he knew all of his kinks. 

———

When Jeremy was more anxious than usual, there was a greater chance of his SQUIP intruding on his thought process. There were more blanks to fill, and it didn’t matter whether or not Jeremy drank red Mountain Dew. As soon as Jeremy’s head started distantly aching, his stomach dropped. He contemplated telling Michael, but thinking about it just made him more anxious. 

“Y’okay, Jere?” Michael asked as he came back from his turn of bowling. That’s how they’d spend their day, bowling and playing cheap arcade games. 

Cute date. 

Jeremy nodded absently and looked up at the scoreboard. God, he really sucked at bowling. Michael had just gotten two strikes in a row, much to his surprise. Jeremy had laughed at the awed look on Michael’s face as he bounced back to hug him. 

“Your turn!” he squeaked, sitting down next to Jeremy and kissing his cheek softly. It warmed Jeremy’s heart, even though he still had a slight headache. He stood up and walked over to the machine that spit the balls back out, picking up the light, off-red ball that he had chosen. He had also insisted on bowling with bumpers, because he couldn’t stay out of the gutters without them. 

Jeremy approached the line and pretended to study the pins expertly. The pain became more prevalent, and suddenly he was seeing colors at the blurred edges of his vision.

 ** _St-ep back, bring ba-ack the ball, let go and follow thr-ough, release when I say s-o-o_** , the SQUIP said through the static that crackled in Jeremy’s ear. The voice was distant and weak, but it still made his heart sink. Every time he felt the power of his SQUIP return, it reminded him of how he had literally thrown away everything to become popular and date Christine. His morals, his family, his interests, his best friend...

Despite his sudden feelings of estrangement, Jeremy did as the SQUIP said, trying not to remember how lonely it felt even when he had fake friends. He had missed Michael from time to time, but those thoughts began to disappear as time went on. The SQUIP had insisted that Michael was a loser who would only get in the way of him and Christine, as well as his climb to the top of the social ladder. 

Jeremy didn’t realize it, but he apparently had rolled a strike. Twice. Michael screamed behind him and ran to embrace the shorter, way too excited and into the game. Michael got way too excited about stupid things. 

“Jeremy! That was so good! Where did that come from? You didn’t even hit the bumpers! I’m so proud!” Michael rambled, kissing Jeremy’s forehead, then nose, then cheek, then jaw. Jeremy placed a shaky hand on the side of Michael’s head and smiled. 

Shit, was he really listening to the SQUIP again? 

As Michael took his turn, Jeremy sat down to reconsider. The SQUIP usually only told him what to do when it would be in his best interest or would move him closer to his goal. The SQUIP was far too weak to have any actual control over Jeremy’s body, but what if it did? He thought about how awkward sex was the night before, and how he was uncertain and anxious at some points. The SQUIP calmed his anxiety. It planted other thoughts in his mind instead. He wouldn’t bump into Michael every two seconds while they were having sex, and it’d make him a much better boyfriend.

Isn’t that what Jeremy wanted? To be a better boyfriend? Was he a bad boyfriend? The same thoughts from last night polluted his brain, but he tried focusing on Michael’s mutual lack of bowling skill. He rolled the ball into the gutter. 

The headache grew stronger. That was something else he wouldn’t miss about the SQUIP’s inactive presence. When the SQUIP was on, his head didn’t hurt. It felt weird and stuffy, but it didn’t ache. Plus, what was the harm in activating it for a while until he and Michael’s relationship developed more? Now that he knew the power of the SQUIP, couldn’t he just drink some Mountain Dew Red and turn it off? What was the harm in that? 

Jeremy felt slightly guilty, but something in the back of his mind told him that reactivating his SQUIP would make him more confident in his relationship with Michael. The anxiety he felt when recalling the way the SQUIP made him feel when active melted away as it was almost forcibly removed from his train of thoughts. 

“Jeremy, hon, you look sick. Are you sure you’re okay?” Michael’s voice broke through to Jeremy. His concerned features made Jeremy’s guilt return. Why did he always scare Michael? That wouldn’t happen if Jeremy’s SQUIP was active. “Yeah, I’m good. Just thirsty. Want anything?” Jeremy lied, and Michael nodded, still not convinced. “Here,” he said, handing his wallet to Jeremy. “Get me some Pibb.” Jeremy took the wallet and stared at it. 

Was he really doing this? Risking his wellbeing and his other relationships yet again to advance in one that was already doing pretty well without the SQUIP?

Jeremy’s brain automatically switched to a circumstance in which he didn’t just get the strike. _Michael laughed at him and stayed sitting. “Oh, Jere, you’re worse at this than I am. You kinda suck,”_ mind-Michael jeered _,_ and Jeremy’s vacant look turned sad. He remembered that the SQUIP had told him how and when to release the ball, how Michael had gotten up to hug and kiss him like a proud mom. That made him smile. He knew that the SQUIP had probably planted that scenario in his mind, but it didn’t matter. If having his SQUIP to tell him what to do, at least until he got good at being in a relationship, meant that he could make Michael happier, the risks were worth it. 

Jeremy knew that the SQUIP wouldn't take over the entire school again, because Jeremy was convinced that he had complete control over the SQUIP’s power this time. Apparently while he was thinking, he had walked up to the food counter, money in hand. 

“Two fountain drinks,” he told the lady in the window, who nodded and took his money. She made change and handed him back two styrofoam cups. 

He walked slowly to the drink machine, nervous and excited. The prospect of being the perfect boyfriend was the only thing driving him to fill one of the cups with regular Mountain Dew. He filled Michael’s with Pibb X-tra. 

Jeremy glanced over at Michael as he finished his second round of bowling, shaking his head at his score sadly. Apparently he had missed the pins twice in a row. Jeremy felt warm and lightheaded as he headed to the bathroom. He figured that the SQUIP could reactivate with more ease if he wasn’t surrounded by people. Plus, Michael could’ve noticed. 

Jeremy’s nerves definitely racked his body as he opened the bathroom door, both drinks in his hands. He remembered the first time that the SQUIP had activated, shivering at the shocking pain and extreme discomfort he had felt. 

Without much thought, Jeremy took a sip of the Mountain Dew, setting down the cups and leaning against the sink counter. No one else was in the bathroom, which would make this easier. He focused on his reflection, staring hard at his face. He started having second thoughts. What if the SQUIP did something? What if it ruined his relationship with Michael once and for all and tried to take over the school again? Would it do that? Would Jeremy be able to control it this time? How much Mountain Dew Red did Michael still have? 

Jeremy didn’t have much more time to focus on his frantic thoughts, because just then, he felt a shock rush through his veins. He groaned in pain as the electricity crippled him, causing him to lean into the sink and bite his lip in agony. Fuck, this was more painful than he remembered. 

 ** _Please excuse some mild discomfort_** , a much stronger voice spoke to him, and Jeremy had enough time to look up through his tearful gaze and into the mirror. He saw how scared he looked, how shaky he was, how horrified he was. He immediately began to regret this. 

The pain subsided, only to be replaced by a much more painful jolt, which racked his body and caused him to fall over in pain. He fought the urge to scream, instead letting out a pained hiss of air as his blood ran cold. He looked up and saw a digital Keanu Reeves standing over him. 

 ** _Jeremy Heere_** , the SQUIP smirked proudly, knowingly. Jeremy could only sit up and let warm tears roll down his cheeks. What had he gotten himself into?

 ** _Welcome back to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. Your SQUIP_** , the digit figure continued, offering a hand to Jeremy, who swatted it away and pushed himself to his feet. 

**_Let’s get to work._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh finally actual plot progression?? who is she, idk her
> 
> this isn’t where I had originally intended to go w this story, but, like, it feels right. silly jere, michael loves u just as u are :(
> 
> please prepare yourself for heartbreak and sadness bc this is gonna be a fuckin bumpy ride, a long-ass fic, and a journey for the both of us :))
> 
> xofaith
> 
> ps remember to comment!! I love hearing from u!!!!


	17. Chapter 17

“You missed your turn because we only have, like, fifteen more minutes left on this lane,” Michael told Jeremy when he returned with the drinks. “I saw you go to the bathroom. You good?” 

Jeremy smirked and handed Michael his drink. He sipped more of his own, knowing that it wouldn’t have an effect on the SQUIP. “Started my period,” Jeremy joked as he waited for the SQUIP to finish processing the thoughts and memories he had acquired since it last inhibited his brain. Michael snorted and kissed Jeremy softly. “Mm, guess I’m straight then. And you’re not pregnant,” he mocked, frowning slightly. Jeremy giggled and looked at the scoreboard. Apparently the game was over. 

“Where to?” he asked Michael, who made a face at the taste of his soda. “Somewhere with better soda. Mine is flat,” Michael replied in disgust, but continued to drink from the cup anyways. He wouldn’t throw it away. 

**_Suggest going to lunch. You’re hungry._ **

Jeremy shivered as he tried to get used to the SQUIP’s voice. The SQUIP hadn't actually reappeared since the bathroom, since it told Jeremy that it was regaining strength. However, it did berate him about deactivating it. The SQUIP was still very salty about that. Jeremy didn’t feel particularly hungry, but upon thinking that, he felt a slight shock course through his body, and his stomach growled painfully. 

Michael looked at Jeremy’s stomach in surprise. “Oh, you’re hungry. Let’s go get some lunch,” he remarked, sitting down to take off his bowling shoes. Jeremy smiled down at him and sat down to undo his own. Suddenly, he couldn’t. Jeremy panicked as the loss of control took over his body, but it was only momentary. 

 ** _Don’t. Make him do it._** The SQUIP finally materialized in front of him, glowing blue and slightly pixelated. Jeremy wished that he didn’t look like Keanu Reeves. Upon hearing the thought, the SQUIP tilted his head at Jeremy. **_I’m processing information that’s telling me you’d like me to switch forms. Perhaps I could better suit this assignment as Sean Connery. There are two new options, since you no longer watch anime and wouldn’t respond well to a ‘sexy anime female.’_**

Jeremy started regretting reactivating his SQUIP, simply because he was annoying as fuck. 

 _This gives me bad memories. What are the new options?_ Jeremy thought back at the SQUIP, who smiled. He transformed into Sean Connery, then into–

**_Michael Mell, your boyfriend. I can also be–_ **

The SQUIP transformed into Jeremy’s mother. Jeremy’s heart stopped beating. He stared at the shimmering image of his mother, instinctively reaching out. However, he realized that no one else could see the SQUIP, so he let his hand drop back down to his side. _No, absolutely not_ , Jeremy thought harshly, and the SQUIP turned back into Keanu Reeves. **_This will do, then._**

Jeremy was still in shock when Michael put a nervous hand on his shoulder. “You okay, Jere? You look like a corpse. You’re really that hungry?” he asked, concerned. Jeremy remembered what the SQUIP had said and leaned against Michael. “I am,” he replied needily, pouting. “Untie my shoes for me?” 

The SQUIP shot Jeremy a thumbs up, and then dematerialized. 

Michael smirked and leaned down between Jeremy’s legs. He started untying Jeremy’s shoes, not questioning the request. So Jeremy. 

“ ** _Wish you were like this all the time, between my legs_** ,” Jeremy found himself saying, though he had had no control over it. He blushed at his own words, a hand shooting up to cover his mouth. Why the fuck would he even say that? 

 ** _Michael responds well to flirting, Jeremy. You know this. I’m reading his visual response and I assure you, that was the right move_** , the SQUIP said in Jeremy’s head. It wasn’t wrong; Michael’s head shot up in surprise, but his shocked expression slowly morphed into one of extreme delight. 

“Y-Yeah? God, baby boy, that’s not something you say in public when I’m like this. You could start something,” Michael warned playfully, returning to the task at hand. Jeremy smiled to himself proudly. Maybe the SQUIP _was_ a good idea. _Thanks_ , Jeremy thought at the SQUIP. **_Of course. It’s a little humorous being in your “new mind” at full strength. You’re not the same person you were the last time I was here. Something must’ve happened._**

Jeremy shuddered as the last few months of his life flashed before his eyes. The SQUIP chuckled. **_Ah. You realized your bisexuality. Weird that both me and Rich’s SQUIP are in bisexual hosts. Perhaps my syncing with Rich’s SQUIP had something to do with it._** Jeremy froze. Did the SQUIP seriously suggest that his bisexuality came from his SQUIP syncing with Rich’s? No, that couldn’t be right. 

 _I don’t think so_ , Jeremy pondered, remembering his diary. Journal. _You should see the stuff I used to write about Michael._

The SQUIP clucked to himself. **_Oh, I do. Maybe it wasn’t the synchronization._**

“There we go,” Michael’s voice cut across Jeremy’s thoughts once again. Jeremy would really have to work on balancing reality and his thoughts. “Lunch.” 

Michael stood up, kissing Jeremy as he climbed up to his feet, and pulled his boyfriend up with him. Jeremy gazed dreamily at Michael. God, he was so lucky. Michael deserved nothing but the best. **_Stop being so gay_** , his SQUIP interrupted. **_You guys are gonna make me sick. Michael is going to ask if you want to go to Panda Express. Say yes._**

“So, what’ll it be? Chick-fil-a? McDonald’s? Oh! What about Panda Express?” Michael suggested, and Jeremy happily complied. He fucking loved orange chicken and chow mein. It made him slightly uncomfortable that the SQUIP had read the situation so far in advance.

The two returned their shoes and walked out to Jeremy’s car, hand-in-hand. For some reason, they never took Michael’s, but Jeremy could care less. His dad was always willing to pay for gas, as was Mrs. Mell. Both of their cars kind of sucked, so it didn’t matter much to Jeremy. Michael opened the door for Jeremy, kissing him gently as he shut the door behind him. Jeremy felt high, but he knew that he hadn’t smoked in, like, months. 

“I love you so much,” Michael said happily as he got in on his side of the car, buckling in and putting Jeremy’s keys into the ignition.

Jeremy hummed in response and took Michael’s hand. He felt the SQUIP appear behind him, the quiet static noises humming in his ears. **_You two are cheesy. I’ll use this to your advantage. Michael needs constant validation. Whenever he says he loves you, you need to say that you do too._**

“I love you more, Micah,” Jeremy replied, starting to believe that reactivating the SQUIP was definitely the best course of action. He wouldn’t have known that had the SQUIP not told him. Suddenly, millions of images flashed in front of Jeremy eyes, causing him to jolt slightly and his headache to return. 

 ** _These are all images of possible outcomes for your future. As you can tell, they are infinite. We are aiming for outcomes that favor your and Michael’s relationship. To do this, I’ll have to analyze your interactions with your new friends. The ones that you hang out with, now_** , the SQUIP told Jeremy, a digital hand that Jeremy couldn’t even feel resting on Jeremy’s shoulder. He shivered. 

 _No, uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I like my friends. They aren’t in the way of me and Michael. Don’t mess with my eyes or shit like that, you hear me?_ Jeremy thought angrily. Shit, so was the SQUIP really trying to fuck with the school again? SQUIP everyone? 

 ** _Jeremy, my current programming is not focused on your popularity. Your desires and wants are very clear to me. Popularity is no longer one of your objectives. However, you feel guilty about the situation. Also, you feel that you need closure with your friends. You want to apologize to Michael again and again about abandoning him until you come to terms with the fact that it was a mistake out of your conscious control_** , the SQUIP insisted, looking at the rear view window. Jeremy didn’t want to believe him, but with every word, he melted into the seat, gripping Michael’s hand tighter. Wait, was Michael talking? **_I promise you that I will make you a better boyfriend. That is number one. However, to do so, we must work on controlling your anxiety. That is the main problem. I can only do so much. You have to want to improve._**

Everything that his SQUIP said made sense, and if it promised to help Jeremy, then Jeremy would comply. The moment it started pulling shit, it was gone. He thought about all of this pointedly, so that the SQUIP understood that he meant business. 

“–and that’s why the shrimp is better than the chicken. Too bad you don’t like shrimp,” Michael finished saying, pulling into a turn lane. His grip on Jeremy’s hand never faltered. Jeremy shook away his thoughts and mentally told the SQUIP to go away. “Yeah, well, you know, the eyes freak me out,” Jeremy replied, hoping that it had something to do with the conversation. Michael snorted and looked to his left for oncoming traffic. “I’m aware,” he retorted with a smile. “Such a baby.” 

**_Your baby._ **

“ _Your_ baby.”

Michael’s grin widened as he made a wide turn. “Hell yeah,” he chuckled, and Jeremy felt at ease. He wouldn’t think of saying stuff like this without the SQUIP’s help. He tried to feel better about the situation as Michael rolled his thumb over Jeremy’s knuckles. He didn’t want to tell Michael. He didn’t want Michael to figure it out. The whole possibility gave Jeremy chills. 

 ** _Don't worry, Jeremy_** , the SQUIP spoke quietly, and Jeremy felt a soothing current rush through his body. **_Michael won’t find out if you listen to me. You know what I’m capable of._** Jeremy shuddered and focused on the road. They were almost at Panda Express. 

“Hey, uh, I just wanna say that things can only get smoother. In terms of our sex life, I mean,” Michael assured Jeremy awkwardly, his voice wavering slightly. 

 ** _See how awkward Michael is? That isn’t something you would tell someone who is feeling awkward enough about the sex you two had as is. That was incredibly awkward, by the way. I didn’t mean to stumble across those memories_** , the SQUIP muttered, and Jeremy felt guilty. Even if it was awkward, Jeremy still had an amazing time. It was exactly how he had envisioned it, and the fact that the SQUIP made it seem imperfect made him feel insecure.

 _I think it was already good. It can be better_ , Michael says so, Jeremy hushed the SQUIP, and then leaned over to kiss Michael’s cheek as they pulled into the Panda Express parking lot. “I know, Micah. I trust you. We’ll fix it... **_together_**.”

Jeremy shuddered again as the SQUIP controlled his speech. He didn’t like how unlike himself he sounded. 

Michael squeezed Jeremy’s hand in response. **_Keep it up, Heere. Besides, things can only get better._**

“Things can only get better,” Michael echoed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didn’t feel this chapter, sorry it’s short!! things are gonna get spicy ;)) 
> 
> also my sister is watching 13 wishes that stupid fucking monster high movie but lmao it’s literally be more chill I’m dead
> 
> xofaith


	18. Chapter 18

Every word Jeremy uttered reminded Michael of his love for his boyfriend. He still couldn’t believe that his fantasies had become a reality, and it was all settling in quickly. It made him happy beyond words. 

Michael stood in line alone as Jeremy used the restroom. The line was ridiculously long, and somehow Michael ended up the last person with no one behind him. He remembered that Jeremy had left his soda cup in the car, and so did Michael. They also had some leftover trash in there that needed to be cleaned out anyways, so Michael quickly ran to the car before anyone else could get in line. 

Ever since Jeremy left an open bag of Skittles in the car, neither Michael nor Jeremy had ever left any food trash in the car ever again. The ant problem had started, and Michael still found ants to that day in the cracks and creases in Jeremy’s car. It was horrific. 

He unlocked Jeremy’s car and leaned over his seat to grab the drinks, along with a Taco Bell wrapper and a stick of gum that had fallen onto the floor. Michael angrily smushed an ant that crawled out from underneath the driver’s seat. He climbed back out of the car, taking a sip from what he thought was his soda cup to gauge how much he’d be throwing away. 

Wait, Mountain Dew? 

Michael’s heart began to race. He took another sip to make sure. Ever since Jeremy had activated the SQUIP, neither of them ever wanted to see another bottle of Mountain Dew again, let alone drink it. Jeremy couldn’t, because he was always afraid that it would activate the SQUIP. Michael just lost an interest in it, associating it with horrible memories and lonely feelings. The only Mountain Dew he kept in his house was the red Mountain Dew. Two in his house, one at Jeremy’s.

So why was he tasting Mountain Dew in Jeremy’s cup? 

He stared at the cup, hatred brewing in his stomach. Did Jeremy reactivate his SQUIP? Did he get the drink on purpose? Did the SQUIP tell him to? 

Michael’s mind rushed at a hundred miles an hour as he made his way back to the line, throwing the trash out angrily before returning. He saw Jeremy standing last in line, smiling at Michael sweetly. Michael’s anger subsided. Jeremy would never knowingly activate his SQUIP. He was too afraid, he had too many awful memories. He had no reason to, anyways. 

“Uh, s-so, I took a sip of your drink, long story,” Michael told Jeremy, who froze and began to tremble. Fuck. Luckily, Michael was looking down at Jeremy’s shoes, trying to figure out a way to make it seem like he wasn’t scared out of his mind. “Did you get Mountain Dew?” 

Jeremy swallowed hard. Shit, he couldn’t believe that he had left his drink in the car. The line moved forward a bit. 

 ** _My apologies, Jeremy. The cup slipped my mind_** , the SQUIP mused, materializing next to Michael. _**Tell him that it was just really flat Sprite. Which really, isn’t that what Mountain Dew is?**_  

“N-No, uh, it kinda tasted like it, didn’t it?” Jeremy tried to play it off, a quick shock calming his body and causing him to cease his shaking. “I got Sprite. It was just really fuckin’ flat.” Michael’s head shot back up, and his heartbeat returned to normal. He had completely forgotten about the poor quality of the bowling alley soda, so knowing that it was Sprite alleviated his anxiety. 

“Oh, God, good. I was so scared,” Michael breathed, grabbing Jeremy’s hand in his own. Michael was still shaking. Jeremy’s guilt washed over him. Why was Michael so nervous? He just wanted to help their relationship. 

**_Michael wouldn’t understand if you told him that you reactivated me to improve your relationship with him. Your best option is to continue on as though you wouldn’t fathom the idea of turning me back on._ **

Jeremy looked from the SQUIP to Michael, his smile reassuring. “Michael, I wouldn’t even think about it,” he promised, lying straight to his boyfriend’s face. “That really fucked shit up. I don’t want any of that to happen again. I love you.” The last part caught Michael off-guard, but it calmed him down. He pulled Jeremy in for a kiss as the line moved forward. 

“Are you staying the night again tonight?” Michael asked Jeremy, not letting go of his hand. 

_Am I?_

**_He wants you to text your dad to check in. Michael is concerned about your dad’s wellbeing. He’ll probably suggest having dinner with your dad as well, but will want to stay the night with you at his house again._ **

“Of course,” Jeremy replied eagerly. He loved spending time with Michael, and even before their relationship blossomed, they had always stayed at each others’ houses. There was rarely a night that they had spent apart. “I should probably check with my dad. I worry about him... Should we stay for dinner?” 

Michael blinked rapidly and looked at Jeremy blankly. The line moved forward. “O-Oh, yeah. Weird, I was gonna suggest the same thing...” He seemed uncomfortable, but brightened up. “I guess great minds think alike.”

”It’s because we fucked,” Jeremy snorted, and Michael giggled and blushed at the comment. Jeremy looked up at the SQUIP, who was scowling. _What?_ he thought at it. 

**_That was an uncalled for comment. Also, I said that_ he _was going to suggest it. You’re going to raise suspicion. Jeremy, if you want your relationship to last and progress, you have to listen._**

_But he laughed._

_**That’s not the point**_ , the SQUIP growled. **_That is a comment that friend Jeremy would make. You’re boyfriend Jeremy. Boyfriend Jeremy doesn’t, or shouldn’t, say things like that if he wants Michael to continue seeing him as relationship material._**

Jeremy furrowed his brow and looked at Michael, worried. He had thought that their relationship was oddly comfortable. Maybe it _was_ because Michael saw him more like a friend. But weren’t those relationships supposed to be the most stable? 

“Still want Sprite?” Michael asked, as they were only a couple of customers away. Jeremy shook his head. “No, that Sprite earlier was pretty fucking nasty. Don’t wanna relive it.”

Michael nodded in agreement. What Sprite tasted like Mountain Dew? 

They finally reached the counter, and Michael placed their order as Jeremy drowned in his thoughts. He really didn’t miss having the SQUIP being able to access every single thought, especially since a lot of his thoughts were sexually charged. Towards Michael. 

**_Stop thinking about Michael in a police outfit, Jeremy._ **

_I wasn’t_ , Jeremy thought, mortified. God, he really didn’t miss it. 

**_Were too. Michael is a very... sexually adventurous person. I can see several alternatives in your future sex life that say so. I think that in one, Michael is dressed as the Keebler elf. Wait, no, that’s just your imagination. Please tell me it’s a joke._ **

_What the fuck are you talking about?_

**_Oh, I can see a possible sexual experience tonight. Michael is going to, as the teens call it, ‘give you head.’ He likes giving you blowjobs._ **

_Really?_

**_That was too hopeful. Yes, he enjoys being with you sexually. Even if it was incredibly awkward. He wants to make it up to you, I think. He’s not terrible at blowjobs. You’ll need some work._ **

It was really uncomfortable to Jeremy, having a computer critique his sexual abilities. This wasn’t exactly what he had considered when he wanted extra help. 

Jeremy didn’t notice that Michael had pulled him into a booth. Jesus, he really needed to be more aware of things. Michael returned with their tray of Chinese food, sitting down across from Jeremy and crossing his legs at his ankles. He leaned them against Jeremy’s legs. 

“You sure you’re okay? You still seem kinda out of it. Still sore?” Michael teased, handing Jeremy a box of orange chicken and his drink. Jeremy took a sip. Fanta. 

**_A bit, but in a good way. Make sure you smirk suggestively._ **

_I’m not saying that!_

” ** _A bit, but in a good way_** ,” Jeremy choked, and his lips curled up in a way that they never had before. It was uncomfortable and unnatural. It felt so out of place. Michael looked up from his box of shrimp. Since when did Jeremy actually flirt back? Consistently? 

He didn’t question it further. Jeremy was hot as fuck. “Mm, well maybe I should make you sore more often,” Michael seduced him, opening his box of honey walnut shrimp and pointing to the big red box that was left on the tray. “Chow mein.”

How was Michael so good at turning him on? He didn’t even need a SQUIP to do it. Jeremy decided that he’d have the SQUIP teach him how to be as smooth as Michael, how to not be awkward in bed and in general, and then he’d shut him off. Simple. 

**_Jeremy, you know that’s not how it works. You have many issues. It will take a long time to resolve them._ **

Jeremy grimaced internally. Jesus, could the SQUIP not mind its own damn business for like five minutes? 

**_Your business is my business._ **

“Thanks, babe,” Jeremy thanked Michael, opening his box of food. He let the smell of orange chicken flood his senses. God, did he love Panda Express. He’d die without it. “Only the best for my prince,” Michael teased, unwrapping his chopsticks. “Still don’t know how to use these?” 

Actually, the SQUIP had taught him how to the last time it was active. Jeremy wanted to show Michael that he wasn’t two and could figure something out “on his own” for once. 

He reached for his own and winced as the SQUIP shocked him. _What now?_

**_Michael wants you to still be clueless. He wants to adjust your fingers and help you eat food. Weird, I know. Humans are hopeless, I can’t believe they’ve survived for so long._ **

_Okay you were literally created by humans, you overrated flash drive._

Jeremy heeded the SQUIP’s suggestion, nevertheless. “No, of course not. I’m... **_a lost cause_** ,” he cringed at his own words, pouting at Michael. Michael grinned widely and stood up to round the table, scooting into the booth next to Jeremy. 

“It’s all good, I can show you,” Michael offered, reaching around Jeremy to adjust his fingers. It was a cute moment, Jeremy couldn’t lie, but it made him feel even more guilty. He wouldn’t be doing this if the SQUIP wasn’t dictating his actions. Would Jeremy really be such an awful boyfriend without the SQUIP?

**_You can deactivate me any time you want, Jeremy. However, I advise against it. Without me, you’ll return to the awkward boyfriend you were. Michael will probably get tired of you, upset that your relationship is too much like your friendship. Is that what you want?_ **

A beat. _No._

**_That’s what I thought. Move closer to Michael. Lean against him._ **

Jeremy did as the SQUIP told him, nuzzling Michael’s shoulder. Michael smiled and helped Jeremy pick up a piece of chicken, then bringing it to his mouth. “There you go! Good job, baby boy,” Michael joked, moving to stand up. Jeremy’s arm lurched for Michael’s forcefully, pulling him back. “ ** _Stay!_** ”

Michael was caught off his game. Jeremy was acting really fucking weird. However, he slowly sank back down into the seat. “Okay Jere, what’s gotten into you?” Michael asked worriedly, placing a hand over Jeremy’s. “You're sure you’re okay?” Jeremy’s breath hitched in his throat. He kissed Michael softly and shakily took a bite of his food. “I’m fine! Just, ah, thinking...” Lord, he was an awful liar. 

“About what?” Michael inquired. He started worrying even more. What could Jeremy possibly be thinking about that made him so off? 

**_Us. I like being with you. I just can’t believe how lucky I am._ **

“Us. Micah, I love being with you. I can’t believe how lucky I am,” Jeremy repeated, but honestly meaning it. The SQUIP was good at getting the words out that Jeremy wanted to say. Michael’s fear seemed to ebb. He nodded and kissed Jeremy again. “Mm, me too,” he agreed, resting his forehead against Jeremy’s. “Are you sure that’s all your thinking about?”

Jeremy froze up. _Little help?_

**_Tell him what you want to say about abandoning him for weeks. If you struggle, I’ll help you out._ **

Jeremy looked up at Michael. All of the pent-up guilt he had been feeling about leaving Michael to become popular and be with Christine made his eyes well up with tears. 

“I-It’s just that... All I can think about is how awful I feel about leaving you. Like, fuck, Micah. We’ve been best friends for over twelve years, and I just gave that up so readily to be with some girl who didn’t give me the time of day. Like God, Michael, how fucked up is that? I feel so awful. It’s tearing me apart,” Jeremy admitted truthfully, actually able to find the right words without the SQUIP’s assistance. He didn’t stutter like he usually would. He was firm and sincere. 

**_Nice._ **

Michael gazed at Jeremy sadly, holding his head up with a finger beneath the shorter’s chin. “Oh, Jere,” he breathed, searching Jeremy’s eyes. “I won’t pretend like I didn’t feel like shit during that time. Twelve years of being best friends... You just abandoned me. I probably shouldn’t have spent years convincing you that you liked Christine, or encouraging it. Or maybe I should’ve, and told you that you should go out and find more friends. You’d be a lot more popular. But it turned out great, Jeremy. I’m rebuilding memories and trying to come to terms with it. I’ve already forgiven you. I don’t want you to worry about this.” 

Somehow, that calmed Jeremy down immensely. He thought that he’d never be able to forgive himself for what he did, but maybe it was the SQUIP that started to polish the memories and guilt he felt. He wasn’t complaining, but the relief seemed superficial. 

“ ** _If it takes fucking up the school and dealing with the SQUIP to be with you, I’d do it all over again_** ,” Jeremy was forced to say, though _he_ probably would’ve been speechless. 

Michael kissed Jeremy once more before digging into his dinner. He was famished, and dealing with Jeremy’s apparent lack of interest in reality over the last few hours had really drained him. Why wasn’t Jeremy talking as much as usual? Why wasn’t he stuttering? Wait, was his acne starting to clear up?

Though he wanted to trust his boyfriend, Michael found himself incredibly suspicious. Maybe that wasn’t Sprite after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes I don’t wanna do this but I feel like I’m gonna have to have a sad part before this ends :(( 
> 
> it’s gonna for real fuck me up!! 
> 
> xofaith


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh warning this chapter is kinda emotional and a fuckin rollercoaster?? like short but rushed??
> 
> sad btw :((
> 
> xofaith

“Thanks for checking up on me, boys. I’ve missed seeing you around the house!” Mr. Heere bellowed happily, placing a hot casserole onto a dish towel on the table. 

**_Play it off._ **

“Whatever,” Jeremy said absentmindedly, receiving a dirty look from Michael and a kick under the table. “I mean, of course, Dad. We, er, miss you.” _What the fuck was that for?_

**_Gauging Michael’s response. He’s a family man._ **

Jeremy scowled at the table, but at his SQUIP. _I could’ve told you that. He loves my dad! **People can see you, stop looking mentally insane.**_ Michael smiled at Jeremy and at Mr. Heere. “Yeah, it’s impossible to sleep at night with Jeremy crying about how much he misses his dad,” he joked, and Mr. Heere ruffled Michael’s hair. “Careful, I may start sleeping with you two.” 

Okay, awkward.

Michael grimaced at the comment and leaned over the table to get himself a serving of casserole. It was seriously his favorite food group, and he’d be lying if he said it wasn’t. Well, sushi too, but he didn’t eat it much since Jeremy gagged every time he was within a twelve-foot radius. “Smells great. You know I love casserole,” Michael complimented Mr. Heere, the mess of greasy, cheesy goop steaming on his plate. 

“You know I love _you_ ,” Jeremy said in a singsong voice. Michael grinned and kissed his cheek. Wait, had the SQUIP even told him to say that?  

**_You're catching on quickly, Jeremy. Michael is a softie. It doesn’t take much to woo him._ **

Mr. Heere smirked at his sons and dug into his own plate. “So. You two, huh? Can’t say I didn’t call it. Owed your mom twenty,” he remarked, pointing at Michael with his fork. Jeremy blushed, and the SQUIP shocked him. “Owed my mom twenty? Dollars?” Michael peeped, spooning casserole into his mouth. Shit, it was hot. 

“Yeah,” Jeremy’s dad replied, taking a sip of water. “We had a bet. Have since you were, like, twelve. I said that you’d start dating after you turned eighteen. She said before. I was way off. I just thought it’d take a while longer for Jeremy to realize his sexuality.” 

Jeremy felt his ears get hot. Why were they talking about him like he wasn’t even there? And what was this bet that he was talking about? Why would they be making bets behind his and Michael’s backs like they were racehorses? Suddenly, Jeremy realized that these weren’t even his thoughts. This was SQUIP’ed Jeremy, who thought that the whole world was out to get him and that anything standing in his way was an obstacle. His stomach dropped. This is exactly what he had been afraid of. He couldn’t do this. 

The decision was quite sudden, but the negativity creeping back into his life wasn’t worth being the perfect boyfriend. People had flaws, right? He didn’t have to be perfect. 

Jeremy “accidentally” knocked his fork off the table. “Whoops,” he pretended, picking up the utensil. “Need to get another one.” Mr. Heere and Michael watched as Jeremy awkwardly shuffled out of the room. 

“I’m worried about him,” Michael and Mr. Heere said in unison, and then laughed. Michael motioned for Mr. Heere to go first. “Well, I know he, like, hates my guts, but he seems... off. Like he hates me more?” Mr. Heere mused, and Michael shook his head profusely. 

Did Jeremy’s dad really think Jeremy hated him? No, Jeremy _loved_ his dad. Sure, he had a weird, nonexistent way of showing it, but Jeremy cared about Mr. Heere. “Of course not!” Michael retorted sadly, eating another bite of casserole. “No way. Jeremy loves you. You’re his dad. He’s been off, but I think he’s just used to taking it out on you. I think that it’s just a lot for him. We fought for, like, a week. That’s a lot for him. I think he may be having Michael withdrawals still.” 

Mr. Heere laughed as Michael took a sip of his water. If Mr. Heere was already upset about Jeremy not being an involved son, then why would Michael bother him about the possibility of Jeremy reactivating his SQUIP? That would send his dad into cardiac arrest. 

Michael just smiled and hoped for the best. Why was Jeremy taking so long? 

———

Jeremy thought long and hard as he gazed at the white fridge. Did he want to get rid of the SQUIP? Was there even a reason to keep it? It was ridiculous to think that he could be this perfect, unflawed version of himself. It just wasn’t even possible, SQUIP or not. He opened the fridge and pulled the bottle out of the door. Something told him that he should down the entire bottle, maybe get rid of the SQUIP once and for all, but something else told him to wait. 

 ** _What’re you thinking about?_** the SQUIP asked as it appeared sitting on Jeremy’s kitchen island. Jeremy sighed and looked from the bottle of Mountain Dew Red to his SQUIP. 

**_That was a joke, I know what you’re thinking. Am I understanding human humor yet?_ **

Jeremy shook his head and rolled his eyes. _God, why do I even have you around? If you’re so smart, tell me why I can’t just drink this and deactivate you. Why don’t I want to?_ The SQUIP gazed at him blankly for a moment, then leapt off of the counter. 

**_Good question. You tell me. Are you afraid that Michael will break up with you because you’re too awkward to be in a relationship? Besides, you’ve only been dating for two days. You don’t know what to say, you don’t know when to say things, you don’t know how to turn him on... So which is it?_ **

**_Or is it something else?_ **

Jeremy frowned thoughtfully at his SQUIP, unsure. Was it even any of those? Maybe Jeremy just felt so bad for completely ignoring Michael for so long. He wanted to make up for lost time, to make things right, to make things better. He didn’t want to harbor the guilt he felt anymore. Sure, he could apologize to Michael time and time again, and the SQUIP could make it physically impossible for him to feel guilty, but it was always there. Was this some way of making it up to Michael? No, that was stupid. Except it wasn’t. 

What other choice did Jeremy have? Continue being the awkward boyfriend with no talents, no real goals? Is that what Michael deserved? 

 **Good, that’s what I was thinking as well,** the SQUIP agreed with Jeremy, crossing his arms. **So do you** **really** **want to drink that?**

The SQUIP paused and looked like he was thinking hard, like something had occurred to him.

**_Put the drink back._ **

Jeremy turned around and panicked, unable to open the refrigerator quietly enough to not bring attention to himself. He fumbled with the Mountain Dew, dropping it and bending back over to pick it up. 

Michael walked in just then. 

“Why do you have that?” Michael asked, his voice not even a whisper. Jeremy turned around to see Michael, face pale, arms crossed. He was horrified. 

Jeremy looked from the bottle to Michael. “ ** _I was looking for milk and dropped it. The casserole is hot._** ” Michael furrowed his brow and approached Jeremy. He pulled him closer and held his wrist above his head, forcing Jeremy to hold the bottle with one hand. 

“Jeremy, I don’t know what kind of sick game you’re playing,” Michael practically spat. It turned Jeremy’s insides into a terrified pile of mush. “Did you reactivate your SQUIP?” 

 _Yes._ “ ** _No._** ”

Michael took a deep, shaky breath. His arms were shaking as he tightened his grip on Jeremy’s arm. “Michael, y-you’re _hurting_ me,” Jeremy stuttered, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. Michael didn’t stop. “Jeremy, don’t lie. Did you activate your SQUIP again?” 

 _Yes._ “Michael, **_no_**!” 

Jeremy started trembling hard, his heart racing. Fuck, Michael was really starting to hurt him. “Jeremy! Don’t fucking lie to me!” Michael’s voice got louder. He was on the verge of tears, but Jeremy couldn’t meet his eyes. “ ** _I didn’t!_** ” 

“Then why the fuck are you holding a bottle of the only thing that turns it off? Why was there Mountain Dew in your cup earlier? What kind of fucking game are you playing? Jeremy!” Michael’s heightened voice was followed by Mr. Heere’s concerned one: “Everything okay, boys?” Michael’s grip loosened slightly. “F-Fine!” he called back, snatching the Mountain Dew from Jeremy and pulling him into Jeremy’s bedroom. Mr. Heere’s chair was facing away from the hallway, which Michael was thankful for. 

 _Shit! Help me out!_ Jeremy pleaded mentally, but the SQUIP remained silent. 

Michael threw Jeremy into the room and slammed the door behind him, locking it. Jeremy cowered in fear as he backed up towards his bed. He was definitely crying. Hot tears streamed down his cheeks, falling onto his shirt. He couldn’t help it. 

“Jeremy, I’m not kidding. _Why?_ Why would you do this? Are you a fucking idiot?” Michael scolded his boyfriend, slamming the soda bottle onto the nightstand. 

**_What is this, some weird sex thing?_ **

Jeremy’s head started aching. _What? Of course it’s fucking not! He caught me, you dumbass! How could you do this? Why are you letting this happen? How do I get out of this? Help! Fuck, help!_

The SQUIP stayed silent. 

Jeremy choked as he frantically searched for something to say. “M-Michael, please, li-isten!” he hiccuped, staring up at Michael with a horrified expression on his face. He couldn’t even imagine what was going through Michael’s head, and he didn’t want to. 

“No, Jeremy! You listen! I asked you a question! Answer me, for fuck’s sake!” Michael hissed, angry tears rolling down his face. Jeremy shook as he sobbed. He was so broken. Why did he do this? What the fuck was his problem? Why couldn’t he stop crying? 

“ _ **I didn’t fucking re-e-eactivate my SQUIP!**_ ” Jeremy found himself saying. 

_No, I want to tell the truth! Stop!_

Michael wiped at his eyes in frustration. “Damnit, Jeremy, then what’s happening?” he whisper-yelled, not wanting to raise Mr. Heere’s suspicion. Jeremy quivered under him. 

” ** _T-Trust me!_** ” _Don’t listen to me._ “ ** _That was Sprite earlier!_** ” _It wasn’t._ “ _ **Please listen!**_ ” _Make it stop!_ “ ** _I-I don’t... I was looking for milk!_** ” _I want to turn this fucking thing off!_

Michael shook as he stepped back, trying to calm himself. God, he was crying. Shit, he had made Jeremy cry. He was terrifying him. “Jeremy, _please_ don’t lie to me. I won’t be mad, please!”

**_Yes he will._ **

“ _Jeremy_ , look at me! Fuck, _LOOK AT ME, JEREMY!_ ” the last part was Michael screaming, taking Jeremy’s face into his hands and forcing him to look at Michael. Jeremy couldn’t control the sobs that shook his body, the tears that burned his cheeks, the guilt that swelled in his throat. He was so upset. Why was he so fucking stupid? 

“Jeremy, please,” Michael’s voice broke, and it quieted. “Jeremy, did you activate your SQUIP?” Michael searched Jeremy’s eyes for any proof that he was lying as Jeremy shook his head. Well, as the SQUIP shook Jeremy’s head. Pure fear grew in Jeremy’s eye. Something wasn’t right. 

_**Jeremy, stop resisting.** Please, just stop! I can’t do this anymore! Please, stop! Stop!_

Michael blinked and wiped away some of Jeremy’s tears, trying to smile and comfort Jeremy, despite having just screamed at him. “Jeremy, when... Back when you first took the SQUIP, I knew that things wouldn’t ever be the same. I knew that you’d probably end up forgetting about me. And you did. You chose to forget about me so that you could date some girl who didn’t even _know_ you.”

**_Is he supposed to be making you feel better?_ **

Michael breathed hard. “And you know what? That felt like shit. Even though I knew that you’d end up forgetting about me, I still wanted you to take that fucking pill. Why? Because I just wanted the best for you. My best friend of twelve years, and I was willing to lose you if it made you happy. I was dumb and naïve to think that you’d remember me when you were popular, Jere, but absolutely nothing good came out of that godforsaken, oversized Tic Tac. Nothing.” 

**_Listen to me, Jeremy. Michael has never been under the influence of a SQUIP. He couldn’t possibly understand the benefits of operating under one._ **

_Operate?_ Jeremy thought angrily, still crying, especially saddened by what Michael had said. _You’re making me sound like a fucking machine._

“Jeremy, say something.” 

**_You're being controlled by a supercomputer, of course you’re a machine._ **

“Jeremy, p-please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

_Fuck you, I can’t do this! Let me go!_

“Michael, I–“

Michael moved his hands to pin both of Jeremy’s onto the bed, holding him against the frame with his knee. Even if Jeremy weren’t under the influence of his SQUIP, the Mountain Dew Red wouldn’t hurt. He used his free hand to grab the soda, unscrewing it with his mouth and shoving the bottle towards Jeremy’s face. 

The SQUIP moved Jeremy so that he couldn’t drink it. **_Jeremy, this is ridiculous. If you drink that, Michael will inevitably break up with you. He won’t even be your friend. Listen to me and we can avoid this whole situation._**

“ _K-Kiss_ me, Michael!” Jeremy screamed, drowning out the voice of the SQUIP. 

Michael believed that Jeremy knew what he was talking about, so he did. Jeremy melted into the kiss, temporarily forgetting the situation. He missed kissing Michael. Wait, how had so much happened in the last few minutes? The SQUIP’s voice flickered in and out of Jeremy’s conscience, unsure what to make of the scene. 

Quickly, Michael pulled back and shoved the bottle into Jeremy’s mouth, who forced himself to swallow the contents, or at least what he could until he started choking and sputtering. 

**_J-Jeremy, wha-at are you do-oing?_ **

Jeremy continued crying as he swallowed, in pain and twitching uncontrollably. Michael picked the bottle back up and let go of Jeremy’s wrists, causing him to slide off of the bed and into a crushed position on the ground. He sobbed as his pounding headache returned, the SQUIP muttering unintelligibly as it disappeared again. 

“Jeremy? Jeremy?”

Then he blacked out. 

———

Michael sat crying as he watched Jeremy sleep. He sat back in Jeremy’s desk chair, spinning slightly from side-to-side as he studied his sleeping figure. 

_“Michael, I’m s-so sorry,” a barely awake Jeremy said softly. Michael was crying so hard he could barely hear him. “It’s okay, baby, you need to rest,” Michael assured Jeremy, pulling the covers over his weak body. “I... I don’t know when I’ll be able to talk to you about this. I love you. P-Please don’t leave,” Jeremy begged sleepily, and Michael held his hand firmly._

_“Of course not, Jere. Just... Just sleep. Tell me when you’re ready. I love you.”_

The memory lingered in Michael’s mind. It had been three hours since Jeremy passed out the second time, coming out of it momentarily as Michael put him to sleep. When Mr. Heere had come banging at the door asking what was wrong, Michael promised him that everything was okay and that Jeremy had just had a panic attack. 

He couldn’t bring himself to actually tell Jeremy’s dad what had happened. 

Michael chewed anxiously on his fingernail as he watched Jeremy’s body rise and fall slowly, trying to think about something other than the fact that his boyfriend had reactivated the one thing that separated them in the first place. 

Why had he even done that? 

Thoughts raced through Michael’s mind at ungodly speeds. Was he a bad boyfriend? Did Jeremy hate him? Was he trying to break up with him? Did Jeremy have control over what he had done? Did he choose to reactivate the SQUIP? Or did the SQUIP force him to? What could’ve possibly driven Jeremy to do that? Was it Michael’s fault? Why didn’t Jeremy trust him enough? 

All Michael could do was sit and wait until Jeremy got up, and even then, maybe he wouldn’t actually want to talk about it. Michael was too anxious to fall asleep, so he just watched Jeremy. 

Rise, fall. Rise, fall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao there was ur plot twist time for sad stuff w boyf riends :((
> 
> xofaith
> 
> ps if u haven’t picked it up, indented sentences no quotations are usually jerm thinking to himself, normal dialogue w quotations is him talking as himself, bold and indented no quotations is the squip talking, and bold indented w quotations is the squip talking through jeremy :)


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay which dipspits read this far smh I’m so proud of this fic like it’s stupid but it has over 500 hits (50 kudos but we don’t talk about that) 
> 
> it’s not even a week old stop???
> 
> thanks again tho love y’all!! this chapter is kinda sad but not too sad I promise :))
> 
> xofaith

_“Michael?” Jeremy asked. It was pitch black, and he started freaking out because he couldn’t see anything._

_A lamp flickered on, illuminating a distraught Michael. He had been crying, Jeremy could tell. “M-Michael,” Jeremy repeated, but Michael didn’t say anything. He just looked at the ground in front of the bed._

_“I’m so sorry,” Jeremy muttered, his eyes dry from sobbing. He had a slight headache. “I... I just–“ Michael held up a hand to stop him. He shook his head. “Jeremy, I can’t believe you did this,” he spoke softly, his voice hoarse. Jeremy swallowed hard, speechless._

_God, he had fucked up so bad._

_Michael finally looked up at Jeremy. “You’re so fucking stupid,” he spat, and Jeremy flinched. His face started to burn. “What were you fucking thinking? Or were you not? Why would you fucking reactivate that piece of shit? What’s wrong with you?” Jeremy wanted to say something, anything, but his throat was suddenly swollen shut. He croaked instead, grabbing his throat. His hand was abnormally hot. It was burning._

_“You... You abandoned me last time you did this,” Michael hissed, leaning forward. “Is that what you had in mind when you reactivated it? On our date? God, Jeremy, you’re so fucking insensitive.” Jeremy tried to explain, but he physically couldn’t. His hand started to burn his throat, his eyes started watering. He couldn’t breathe._

_Michael’s figure glitched, turning into the SQUIP for a split second. Jeremy’s lungs felt like they were going to explode. “And to thi-ink–“ Michael turned into the SQUIP again, but changed back. “–to think that I thought you were actually in love wi-th me. I can’t take this.” Michael looked at Jeremy in disgust, then turned around to leave. Jeremy reached out for him, his throat on fire. Michael’s head completely turned around, and Jeremy gazed up at him in horror._

_“Wh-at?” he shot, and Michael changed into the SQUIP. Jeremy started crying harder, trying to gasp for breath. “Wake up, moron. Wake up.”_

_Wake up. Wake up._

Jeremy gasped for air as he shot up off of the bed, Michael sitting over him in his lap and shaking him hard. Michael held Jeremy’s shaking face in his hands, studying his boyfriend’s horrified face. He was crying. 

“Jeremy, oh my God, are you okay?” Michael asked breathlessly, wiping away Jeremy’s tears with his thumbs. “Y-You started shaking and screaming and...” Jeremy breathed quickly, throwing his arms around Michael’s neck. He burrowed his face in the crook of his neck, sniffling loudly. 

It was just a dream. 

Michael, initially surprised, held Jeremy tight against his chest. He frowned sadly as he felt Jeremy’s heart beat rapidly against his own chest. “Jere, breathe, hon. It’s okay, I’m here, I’m here,” Michael soothed him, combing his fingers through Jeremy’s messy hair. Jeremy kept shaking, and Michael noticed how sweaty he was. 

“Y-You were... And I couldn’t breathe and... You were the SQUIP and...” Jeremy choked, shuddering as he remembered the suffocating feeling of not being able to breathe. 

Michael shushed him and brought him closer, rocking him back and forth. He was relieved, because in his state of panic, Michael had definitely been about to call an ambulance. “It’s okay,” he insisted, stroking Jeremy’s hair. “I’m right here. You’re right here. You’re breathing. Deep breaths.” Jeremy took a few more minutes to compose himself, melting into the embrace. He was so grateful for Michael’s comforting touch, for his ability to calm him down in any situation. Jeremy nodded and pulled back, looking at Michael’s worried face sadly. 

“I’m... Michael, I’m so sorry,” Jeremy finally whispered, pulling Michael down for a kiss. Michael closed his eyes and kissed back, his fears soothed. Prior to that moment, Michael was afraid that Jeremy wouldn’t ever want to talk to him ever again. He was almost certain that their relationship would be off the table, but the kiss made him forget about his fears. He hadn’t meant to get so angry at Jeremy the night before, and the memory made him want to sob. Michael pulled back and pushed a lock of Jeremy’s hair behind his ear. 

“No, no, Jere. It’s... It’s okay. I’m the one who’s sorry. I just got so scared and angry and didn’t want to lose you again,” Michael replied, wiping his nose. “You don’t have to tell me why you did it or anything, just... I just want you to swear that you’ll tell me if you do. Or at least tell me if you even think about reactivating it.” 

Jeremy shook his head profusely. “Oh God, Michael. It was worse this time. I’m going to explain what happened, I... I can’t right now, I’m so sorry,” Jeremy hiccuped. “I hope you can understand. I-It’s so hard to come to terms with. Please don’t ha-ate me. If you’re gonna break up with me, do it now. I ca-an take it.” Michael laughed with bated breath. “Fuck, Jere. I wouldn’t even think about it. This isn’t going to change anything.” 

Overcome with pure joy and relief, Jeremy grinned widely, returning his lips to Michael’s. In the back of his head, he thought that things were going suspiciously well, and he started to worry a bit. However, this was so Michael. He knew that Michael would give him all the time he’d need, and that Michael would never hold this against him. 

Michael pushed Jeremy back down onto the bed, kissing him gently and all over the face. “Mm, I missed this. How long has it been?” Jeremy asked quietly as Michael kissed his forehead. Michael sat back and smirked. “Jeremy, we’ve been dating for three days.” 

Fuck, was it morning? Jeremy looked at the window and realized that it was, indeed, daytime. He shifted his gaze to the alarm clock on his nightstand. 12:09. “Oh my God,” he whispered, looking back at Michael. “Three days? Shit, I’m trouble. Break up with me.” 

Michael shook his head and kissed Jeremy again. “I wouldn’t even entertain the notion, baby,” he gushed Jeremy, kissing his nose. 

———

Jeremy and Michael sat in the living room, their eyes glued to the movie they were watching. _Kung Fury_. 

“This movie is my favorite,” Michael said breathlessly, reaching for the popcorn bowl that was barely balancing on Jeremy’s bent knee. Jeremy scoffed. “I’d hardly call it a movie, Micah. Isn’t it, like, thirty minutes long?” he retorted playfully, and Michael feigned offense. 

“Thirty one minutes and three seconds, thanks,” Michael corrected him, popping a handful of popcorn into his mouth. “You can’t put a time value on masterpieces.” Jeremy clucked his tongue and rolled his eyes. “Hardly a masterpiece. Do you hear Hitler’s accent?” he replied kissing Michael on the cheek. 

It had been five days since Jeremy had reactivated his SQUIP. Michael had remained patient, not once bringing up the incident. Instead, he poured his love into their relationship to an extent that was a bit extra. It was almost like they were becoming Jake and Rich (minus the constant kinky sex), who had definitely noticed the increased PDA. 

Michael and Jeremy were at Jeremy’s house, cuddling on the couch on a Thursday night while Mr. Heere was out on a Tinder date Michael convinced him to go on. Of course, he had told him to text every thirty minutes, in case it was one of those Tinder murder things. So far, so good. Michael moved his left hand from Jeremy’s shoulder to his hip, pulling him in to kiss the top of his head. 

Jeremy waited a beat, then decided that he was ready to come clean to Michael.

“I, uh, just wanna apologize again for the, uh...” Jeremy stuttered, and Michael shushed him. “It’s fine Jere, don’t talk ‘til you’re ready to.” 

Jeremy shook his head and looked at Michael, moving Michael’s head so that his gaze met his own. “I am,” he assured Michael, whose eyes started tearing up. The bare mention of the occurrence was enough to make him break down into tears. The awful feelings that he had experienced that day flooded Michael’s emotions. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jeremy offered, but he wasn’t nearly as good at comforting people as Michael was. “I... I don’t even know where to start. I’ll probably start with how sorry I am, how much of an anxious mess I am and how sorry I am to not be able to control it.” 

Michael shook his head and blinked. “Y-You don’t need to apologize for–“

Jeremy brought his hand up to cover Michael’s mouth. “Don’t interrupt,” he urged, and a tear slid dramatically down Michael’s cheek. Jeremy rubbed it away and kissed Michael, then continued. “I do, because that’s what caused this shitstorm in the first place. Honestly, I couldn’t even believe that I was dating you. I was so happy, so blessed, uh, I dunno. It was almost too good to believe. But then I started thinking and thinking, and then _did_ start believing that it was too good to be true. I panicked. My SQUIP, uh, it started talking to me. Barely, but, y’know how it gets. It told me that it could make me a better boyfriend. 

“I hadn’t even realized that I was a bad boyfriend, but of course I started thinking so because the SQUIP pointed it out,” Jeremy admitted, sniffling quietly. “And I guess I was so desperate to make things up from the first time. I left you for weeks, Michael. I pretended like you didn’t exist. I ignored you. I threw away our friendship, Michael. You can’t forgive me for that, and I can’t forgive myself for it either. Don’t give me that look, okay? I can’t. It was inhuman. I’m so disgusted with myself... And I was. I knew, and know, that you deserved a better boyfriend. I’m shit at this, man, and I thought that having the SQUIP telling me how to be a better boyfriend, how to make you happier, how to be less awkward...

”I thought that it’d make up for all of that time.” 

Michael stared tearfully at his boyfriend for several minutes after he finished, not really processing the information until the last few seconds. “Okay,” he said plainly. 

Jeremy felt crushed. “O-Okay?” he stammered, furrowing his brow. Was that all Michael had to say about this? Had he not just poured his heart into the much-anticipated explanation? Michael nodded and looked at the television screen. “You don’t think that you’re a good boyfriend. You didn’t think you’re a good boyfriend. I think that the only way to convince you that I love you more than life itself and to convince you that you’re a great boyfriend is to keep dating you. Loving you. Making love.” He wiggled his eyebrows, then looked back at Jeremy, who was awestruck. 

“Y-Yeah? You’ll date me for a long time?” he asked slowly, and Michael nodded. “Oh yeah, forever. You’re stuck with little old me, sorry,” Michael purred, and Jeremy kissed him with every emotion he could possibly feel at once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yea shortish chapter but this fic is coming to an end :(( few more chapters?? 
> 
> lmao do people still read this :)
> 
> btw happy fourth to my american readers!! and also to my non-american readers 
> 
> xofaith
> 
> ps my phone just tried to correct xofaith to cocaine oops exposed


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another sexy time at the end-ish of the chapter, look for the *** 
> 
> you won’t miss anything if you skip :))
> 
> xofaith

“Yeah and then I got thtuck in those handcuffth  _again_ ,” Rich told the table, and everyone grimaced in unison. He had told the exact same story the entire week, adding new details every day. 

Jake swooped down to kiss Rich’s cheek, and then continued eating his fish sandwich. “Mph, yeah, and we almost had to call–“ 

“Okay you’ve literally told the story every fucking day, you two,” Chloe snapped, annoyed. She looked up from her phone and raised her eyebrows at Jake. Michael and Jeremy exchanged awkward looks and looked back at their food, which they had packed together since they ended up staying the night at Jeremy’s. Their incredibly healthy lunch consisted of frosted animal crackers, Gushers, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, two juice boxes, and an orange. 

Jeremy felt a tap on his shoulder as turned around to see Christine. They had talked a lot since he broke up with her, maintaining a strong friendship. It was a lot better that way, they had decided, because there was no pressure to find a common place between Christine’s nonexistent libido and Jeremy’s abnormally high one. They also found themselves less awkward and more expressive, which was a first for Jeremy. 

“Mind if I sit? My table is _ann-oy-ing_!” Christine sang, setting her lunch tray on the table and sitting down in the empty seat by Jeremy. Michael reached around Jeremy’s back to do his new secret handshake with Christine, who made a “psssh” sound when the pounded fists at the end. Jeremy turned around to look at them and rolled his eyes. “If you’re gonna be dorks, don’t try hiding it behind my back,” he remarked, and Michael snorted. 

Brooke looked over at the scene from her spot by Chloe. “Oh my gosh you guys are cute! Chloe doesn’t like doing that stuff in public,” she whined, and Chloe flared at her. 

Everyone sat in awkward silence. 

“Okay, I’ll say what everyone’s thinking,” Jenna broke the silence, her fork waving at Brooke and Chloe. 

“Chloe got a haircut.”

The table chuckled and resumed eating, not commenting further on the fact that Brooke had definitely just confirmed a relationship between her and Chloe. Apparently, like, no one that Jeremy knew was straight. 

Michael planted a small kiss on Jeremy’s jaw, then peeled their orange. “Why did we even pack this? I don’t like oranges,” Michael commented, and Jeremy took it. “Uh, ‘cause I do? Selfish,” he retorted playfully, and Michael snatched the orange back. He finished peeling it and broke off a piece, easing it into Jeremy’s mouth. Rich looked up and his jaw dropped. “Uh, only me and Jake are allowed to do that thtuff. _We’re_ the kinky boyth, trademarked. Copyrighted. You owe me the retht of that orange.” 

Jeremy chuckled and took the orange back from Michael. “Michael and I aren’t that kinky,” he mused, and Jake clucked at them. “Right, yeah, okay. I saw the way you looked at our handcuffs. The urgency with which you pulled Jeremy out of the house,” he recalled, smiling widely. Everyone grunted at the mention of the story, tired of hearing it over and over again.

”We had places to be,” Michael defended himself, poking his straw into his juice box. “Besides, we’ve only fucked, like, once. You can’t possibly get into all your kinks in one fuck. Just like it’s a common belief that you can’t drink a whole Capri-sun in one succ. I’ll demonstrate.” He took a deep breath and drank from his juice box, which everyone found oddly mesmerizing. Michael did, indeed, finish it in one succ. 

Jeremy squinted at his weird-ass boyfriend. “What point are you trying to prove again?” he asked, and Michael looked at his empty juice box. “That I love Capri-sun.”

Christeen shook her head. “Yeah, okay, starting to think that this was a bad idea. At least I get to talk about cool stuff at my other table.” Jeremy nudged her. “Hey, we talk about cool stuff here,” he remarked, looking at the table for support. Rich nodded. “We talked about thpaghetti-filled condoms onthe. I think Michael wath high, becauthe he wath all ‘dude, what if we’re jutht thpaghetti-filled condoms makin’ our way through the world?’, whit-th wath unthettling but eye-opening.” 

Jeremy gave him a blank look. “I rest my case,” Christine chimed in, gazing at her bowl of leftover spaghetti. “Also, I lost my appetite.” 

Jenna looked up from her phone and gazed thoughtfully at Christine. “Uh, we talk about what our SQUIP’s look like sometimes. That’s, like, relevant and interesting. Michael can’t relate, but he talks about what it _would_ look like.”

Jeremy inhaled shortly, and Michael rested a hand on his arm, soothing his nerves. “Yeah. Personally, I think that it’d be _Daddy_ DeVito. If a SQUIP is someone you’d listen to, then him for sure,” Michael joked, and Christine giggled. “Nah, yours would probably be Jeremy. Or maybe Bobby Flay,” she corrected him, and he gasped like he had had an epiphany. 

“No! Gordon Ramsey.” 

“Bear Grylls.”

”Alton Brown.”

”Rich!” 

“Dolphin furry.”

”You mean Jeremy?”

The table continued sharing their input on who Michael’s SQUIP would be, and Jeremy sat in silence. He felt out of place. He wished that he could just forget that the SQUIP ever existed. He couldn’t believe that he had put everyone’s life at risk once, then his relationship with Michael at risk twice. Why did everyone talk about the SQUIP like it was a joke? Michael felt Jeremy tensing up and kissed his cheek. “You wanna skip for the rest of the day?” he asked quietly, ignoring the conversation that had somehow become about The Lorax. 

Jeremy smiled nervously. “I don’t know... I don’t wanna get in trouble,” he said unsurely, but Michael snickered. “Fine, but I was thinking that we could spend our time doing, uh, more important things...” He let his hand slide from Jeremy’s arm to his thigh, causing Jeremy’s breath to hitch. “Y-Yeah, uh, I’ve suddenly had a change of heart. Not relative to, um, whatever you just did,” Jeremy rushed breathlessly, scooping up the remainder of their lunch and dumping it back into the plastic grocery bag they had packed it in. “Trash anyone?” 

Rich threw an empty milk carton into the bag that Jeremy was holding up. “Tho hath Jeremy fulfilled hith lifelong purpothe of becoming an actual trathcan? I knew it. Ith that your furthona?” he teased, and Jeremy glared at him. “Okay, I will _not_ say this again. Middle school Jeremy’s weird drawings of wolves and animals that talked and had legs and arms do not define high school Jeremy. Known fact,” he retorted sourly, and Michael hummed behind him. 

“Yikes, I dunno, Jere. That’s not what your collection of animal tail butt plugs tells me,” he said in a sing-song voice, and Jeremy’s face went red. He elbowed Michael hard and shook his head. “Shut up. I don’t have a collection of animal tail butt plugs, nor do I even have a butt plug. Fuck off. I feel personally attacked,” he whined, and Michael leaned down to kiss him. “Aw babe, no one will judge you for your butt plug fetish.” 

Christine threw a granola bar at them. “Oh my God, _please_ stop,” she begged, covering her ears. “This is cruel and unusual punishment to have to listen to this.” 

Brooke gazed at Chloe. “ _They_ have animal butt plugs.”

Rich and Jake exchanged an uncomfortable glance. “Uh, I think that they’re actually joking. Ith it not normal to have a collecthion of animal butt plugth?” Rich asked seriously, and Jeremy backed up. “Okay, yep, we’re leaving,” he squeaked, taking Michael by the hand and leading them out of the cafeteria. He threw away his trash bag on the way out. 

“We have weird friends,” Michael commented, and Jeremy’s face flushed. “You started that. Proud?” 

“Fuck yes.”

———

“Shit, Micah, y-you gotta stop giving me blowjobs all the time. Like dude, I j-just wanted a Yoo-hoo. Is tha-at too much to ask?” Jeremy moaned, exasperated. Michael had him pinned against the fridge in Michael’s kitchen, blowing him for the sixth time that week. He hummed in response, the vibrations causing Jeremy to grunt. God, Michael was too good to him. 

He finished with a high-pitched moan, pulling Michael’s hair and basically face-fucking him at that point. It wasn’t the normal after-school activity, but it was ideal. 

Michael gazed up at Jeremy with a grin, swallowing hard as Jeremy pulled him up to his feet. “Shut up, you love it,” he hushed, kissing the shorter. “Besides, _now_ you can have a Yoo-hoo, dork.” Jeremy raised his eyebrows pointedly and turned around to open the fridge, pulling out a yellow carton. “Yeah, right. Well, you’ve given me head like ten times this week. I wanna make it up to you.” He stuck the straw into the foil flap on top of the milk box.

Michael shook his head and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. “Tolerating me is payback enough,” he assured Jeremy, who put down his drink and turned around to face Michael. “I guess. But I can make it up in other ways,” he suggested, toying with the collar of Michael’s shirt. Michael had actually work a Polo today, which was unheard of. He didn’t even wear his hoodie over it. Michael seemed at a loss for words. “O-Oh, yeah?” he stammered, blinking. “How so?” 

Jeremy smirked and dragged him to the basement, kissing him and pushing him back onto the bed. “I dunno, maybe thought about losing my virginity again,” he whispered as he perched himself above Michael. It felt unnatural to be taking the lead like this, but Jeremy knew that it turned Michael on, and if Michael was turned on, then so was Jeremy. Michael was really turned on. 

“Y-You can’t lose your virginity twice,” Michael choked as Jeremy sucked a hickey into his neck. Jeremy sat back. “Actually, virginity is a social construct, and–“

Michael pulled him down by his shirt and kissed him so that he’d shut up. Dork. Jeremy’s muffled moan sent Michael into a hungry rage, working at Jeremy’s mouth like they’d never kiss again. They had actually gotten really good at kissing. 

Jeremy pulled himself off and poised himself above Michael, smirking. “I think I wanna try being Rich and Jake level kinky. Let’s role-play,” he suggested, first confidently, then with uncertainty. It was a weird request, but it felt right. They were comfortable and in love, so it shouldn’t matter what they did in bed. Michael’s heart fluttered, and he smiled at Jeremy. Since when did Jeremy speak his mind like that? Where was this coming from. 

“I just wanna see what we’re into and what we’re not into,” Jeremy explained upon seeing Michael’s mocking expression. It was comforting. 

Michael gazed thoughtfully up at Jeremy. “So like what, then? What kind of role-play?” 

All Jeremy could think of was that episode of The Last Man on Earth where Mike and Carol pretended that they were on a picnic. “Y-Yeah, nevermind. Can’t stop thinking about coleslaw,” Jeremy murmured, and Michael snorted, pulling Jeremy down for a kiss. 

“You know I’m allergic to coleslaw! Enough side items, Jere, get to the main course!” 

Jeremy groaned at the reference and kissed Michael again. Michael laughed softly and pushed Jeremy back up. “We should probably just get used to normal sex first. Jake and Rich can give us pointers later,” he decided with a wink, and Jeremy pouted. He wanted to spice up their new sex life, just to test the waters. He figured that he’d only get his way if he spoke up. 

“Okay, maybe not role-play,” Jeremy said quietly, crossing his arms, “Can we try _something_ though? Tell me about some of the kinks you think I have.” Michael squinted up at Jeremy. What was he doing? 

“Uh, is this Jeremy my twink boyfriend?” Michael asked jokingly, and Jeremy pouted. “Fine,” Michael continued, thinking about it. “Hm... You said you liked marking me up. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be a dom... You’re clearly submissive. Do you like, uh, what’s it called? Being, er, degraded? Like, verbally?” 

The conversation was already awkward enough, may as well keep it up. “Uh,” Jeremy’s voice was barely above a whisper. “That, uh, that doesn’t sound bad at all... Oh, and it sounds weird, but you should, like...” 

Michael nodded encouragingly. “Yeah?”

”It’s embarrassing, and I’m not ready, ha. Uh, oh, I like you being in control. Weird, I know, especially since it reminds me of the SQUIP. Whatever, though. I don’t wanna be embarrassed about all of this. Tie me up or some shit,” Jeremy rambled, and Michael snorted. Jeremy sure was cute when he got worked up. “How about we just try some things and we’ll, uh, figure out what works and doesn’t from there. Sounds good?” 

Jeremy nodded, thankful for Michael’s understanding. “Yeah, of course.” He leaned down to kiss Michael more. 

***

He fell back onto the bed, between Michael’s legs, so that Michael could take over and take control. Jeremy was too uncertain for that shit, and really the only porn he watched was straight vanilla porn. Also that one Phineas and Ferb animation he “accidentally” watched the whole way through. Accidentally. Maybe some hentai. 

Michael pulled Jeremy’s hands above his head, pinning his arms and kissing him with intentional force. Jeremy’s muffled moan went straight to Michael’s dick, and he felt himself shift against Jeremy’s bent leg. “Mm, wait here,” he said as he pulled back, Jeremy’s head following him as he did so. Jeremy poured but stayed as Michael went to go do whatever he was doing. 

A second later, Michael came back with a belt and the box of condoms. “Won’t forget these this time,” Michael told him, setting the box down, and then pulling out the lube. “Or this.” Jeremy looked at the bell with a confused look on his face. Was Michael going to, like, _hit_ him with it? Hot. 

“Uh, so if you want me to slow down or stop, say ‘yellow’ or ‘red.’ It’s, like, kink talk or something. I’ll ask you what the color is, and then we can, uh, work from there. ‘Green’ is okay, by the way,” Michael tried to explain, pointing to the head of his bed. “Can you, uh, sit up?” 

Jeremy stayed laying down. He had an idea. “Uh, you should tell me to,” he suggested uncertainly, smiling. Michael snorted and kissed Jeremy. “Um, alright. Remember, this is only as awkward as we make it. Let’s not think too hard,” he muttered, and Jeremy nodded. “Alright, good.” 

“Okay. So, er, Jeremy, sit up,” Michael said forcefully, trying to figure out what was happening. Jeremy laughed and pulled his cheeks, trying to take it seriously. “Yes, _sir_ ,” he replied, turning around and leaning against the bed frame. Michael chuckled and figured that they may as well have fun with it. “Say that again?” 

“Sir?”

”Shit, Jere, you’d be a good employee. Very respectful,” Michael joked, and Jeremy decided to roll with it. “Feels like Fifty Shades of Grey. Uh, Mr. Mell, can I speak to you?” 

Oh God, what was happening to his sweet, innocent Jeremy?

”S-Sure, Jeremy, uh, come in?” Michael pretty much asked, positioning himself between Jeremy’s legs. Jeremy swallowed hard, his cheeks burning. God, this was embarrassing. “You, uh, sent me a very questionable email. Just wanted to know if it was meant for me,” he murmured, and Michael smiled widely. This was actually cute, but he had no clue how office life worked. 

“Yeah? Uh, what did the email say, Mr. Heere?” Michael asked, starting to get into it. It wasn’t too awkward if it was with someone he loved. It’s not like he’d judge him; they were working through it together. Jeremy smiled. “It said that you needed to see me in my office because I’ve been a bit... _tied up_ in my work load. Ha, did you hear that? Tied up?” Michael choked on a laugh, kissing Jeremy on the forehead. “You’re such a fucking nerd.” 

“I try,” Jeremy said, and Michael sat back. “Yes, Heere, I did send that to you. I hope that you understand my... concern. You’ve been busy lately. I miss seeing you in my office.” 

Jeremy swallowed. “Y-Yeah? I _have_ been really stressed lately, y’know? Maybe you can help me out,” he whimpered, and Michael nodded quickly, holding up his belt. “Yeah, I think I know a way I can help you out. It’ll require getting a little... creative though.” 

Michael rolled his eyes at his own words. Weirdo. Jeremy smirked. “Creative? This is an office job, Mr. Mell. I’m not used to it,” he mused, his hands resting on Michael’s thighs. Michael blinked. “Well, uh, let’s do some learning on the job,” he suggested, moving Jeremy’s hands above his head and wrapping the belt around his arms. He tightened it so that Jeremy could still move comfortably, but tight enough to where it’d leave indentations on Jeremy’s wrists. 

“I have to say, I’m a pretty fast learner,” Jeremy uttered, bringing a hand behind Michael’s head and pulling a strand of hair carefully. “May need to slow me down...” 

Michael swallowed and smiled, leaning back to look at Jeremy. “Yeah, well, I’m a good teacher. But that’s for another day. Let’s get to work. You seem really tense... How’s your family?” Michael snorted, and Jeremy laughed. “My family? Well, my wife and I are fighting for custody over my daughter, uh, Peony. We’ve been separated for a while, now.” 

Michael nodded and realized that his hand was on the inside of Jeremy’s thigh. Before they had started, Jeremy was only wearing his boxers, since he had just gotten out of the shower. For once, Michael had more clothes on than Jeremy. Crazy what being in a relationship could do to a person. 

“That sounds really stressful,” Michael went along with it. What had he started? “How was your, uh, promotion, on top of all of that?” Jeremy gazed thoughtfully at Michael, then replied, “Interesting. My co-workers weren’t all that happy with me. The only person you cared was my mom, unfortunately.” Michael and Jeremy laughed quietly and kissed. This was very them. 

“I was proud of you,” Michael assured Jeremy, who smiled. “You worked really hard... I think it’s time to experience the _true_ benefits of your promotion, Mr. Heere.” Jeremy giggled as Michael kissed him again, trailing kisses across his jaw and over his chest. Michael really had a thing for Jeremy and kissing him. He sucked on a few spots to form dark hickies, admiring his work and Jeremy’s sea of freckles. Michael leaned down between Jeremy’s legs, then had an idea. It would probably fail and end up with Jeremy spraining his penis, but it was worth it in the name of progressing their sex life. 

Michael leaned over to grab a condom and the lube and setting it next to Jeremy. “Well, I already have more flexible work hours,” Jeremy said nervously as Michael pulled down Jeremy’s boxers. “A-And the pay increase was pretty generous.” Michael nodded and looked up at Jeremy. “Yeah? Did ‘having an affair with your boss’ catch your attention when you were reading through the job description?” he joked, and Jeremy giggled. “It’s not an affair if I’m not married. This is just a bonus.” 

Michael smiled and kissed Jeremy again. “Mph, yeah?” he said, returning to Jeremy’s limp member and taking it in his hand, pumping it slowly to get it hard. Jeremy moaned quietly, trying to move his hand to the back of Michael’s head. Except he couldn’t, because his hands were tied to the bed frame.

“Y-Yeah, _fuck_ ,”  Jeremy grunted as Michael took him into his mouth, and he didn’t think that a second blowjob in one day would be able to turn him on so much. Couldn’t someone get used to blowjobs after a while? Not Jeremy. Michael stopped when he felt that Jeremy was hard enough for this to work. He pulled off to Jeremy’s dismay, unwrapping a condom and looking up at Jeremy as seductively as he could. “New jobs are stressful,” Michael sympathized, pouring some lube into his right hand, then transferred it to Jeremy’s dick. Jeremy gave Michael a quizzical look. 

“Color?” Michael asked upon seeing Jeremy’s expression. “Oh, green,” Jeremy said, shaking away his uncertainty. Michael _probably_ knew what he was doing. Michael nodded and pulled his shirt off, then his pajama shorts, followed by his boxers. Damn, he was actually fully clothed for once. 

“Y-You’re right, though,” Jeremy continued, trying to remember that they were... role-playing? Were they? “This new job is stressful. When I saw your email, I was glad that someone understood. I hope you can teach me some ways to cope with this stress.” Michael smiled and applied more lube to his fingers. “Y-Yeah? Well, you’ll have to watch me finger-fuck myself before I start.” 

Jeremy choked. Fuck, Michael needed to stop being so straightforward and hot. “Th-That’s a step, actually,” Jeremy said quickly, nodding as Michael stretched his hand around to stretch himself a bit before going down on his boyfriend. 

“Maybe,” Michael said, moaning as his fingers brushed against his prostate. “Wish these were your fingers, though. Pumping in and out of me and making me moan. Just a thought.” Jeremy almost completely forgot that Michael was supposed to be his boss. This was actually kind of confusing. “F-Fuck, Micah,” Jeremy squeaked, wanting to reach out and stretch Michael out himself. But he couldn’t. 

Michael decided that he had stretched himself enough for Jeremy’s cock, then crawled over Jeremy and kissed him once more before leaning against the bed frame, his hands gripped tightly around the wood, as he lowered himself onto Jeremy. 

Jeremy had never felt anything like it. Last time he and Michael had had sex, he was the one with the dick in his ass. Oh, how the tables had turned. Jeremy liked it, but only because it’s not like he was doing any actual work. “Sh-it,” he hiccuped as Michael adjusted, his eyes fluttering as the sensation rocked his body. God, it was hot. 

Michael pushed himself back up, then back down. He did this until he built a rhythm, moaning lowly like it was a growl. Did they completely forget about the little pretending they had been doing? 

“God, th-this is relieving my stress. This promotion was worth it,” Jeremy moaned, throwing his head back and melting against the grip of the belt. Michael’s moans turned him on in unbelievable ways. His dick twitched with each movement, and Michael couldn’t get enough of the helpless figure under him. 

“Good, _fuck_ ,” Michael moaned, getting close. He kissed Jeremy and quickened his pace, mad that he hadn’t lasted longer but content because this was a lot better than the first time they had had sex. Jeremy whimpered under him. “Fuck me, Michael. God, you’re so good.”

”Shh, baby boy, I’m so-o close...” Michael cried as he finished, covering Jeremy’s chest in his semen and riding out his high as Jeremy came as well. They were panting messes by the time they finished, Michael back between Jeremy’s legs and kissing Jeremy. It was a while before either of them were physically capable to speak. “I... I hope to continue doing business with you,” Jeremy said breathlessly, and Michael laughed hard. “You earned that promotion. I hope you’re less stressed and that Penelope ends up under your custody.”

Jeremy feigned a hurt expression. “Uh, it’s Peony, not Penelope. And yeah, me too. Her mom is a crack addict and works as a sales manager at Lowe’s.” Michael snorted and kissed Jeremy again. “God, I fucking love you. You’re a mess,” he noticed, looking at the mess they had made on Jeremy’s torso. It was really hot. 

“Yeah, let’s clean up, Mr. Mell.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god seriously feeling so blessed. actually am gonna start posting on my instagram, @heereandqueere 
> 
> follow for bmc and musical memes and just me being an idiot!! 
> 
> xofaith


	22. Chapter 22

“That lady was really weird, Michael. I don’t want to go on another Timber date,” Mr. Heere complained as he looked over Michael’s shoulder at his phone screen. Michael was updating Mr. Heere’s profile pictures and his bio, shaking his head in disappointment. “Hey, some dates don’t go well. It’s okay. You will find someone, I know it!” he replied, determined. “Set your standards as low as possible. Why do you think Jeremy started dating me?”

”I heard that!” Jeremy called from the kitchen. Michael snickered and saved his progress, returning to the main page. “Also, it’s Tinder, not ‘Timber.’ Try not to be dorky, sir,” Michael told Jeremy’s dad, and he started examining a woman’s profile. “She seems nice... Oh, she likes cats! Extra points for her.” 

Mr. Heere grimaced. “I’m allergic to cats, no.” 

“This lady works at a library!” 

“I’m pretty much illiterate.”

”Oh, Elizabeth enjoys long, romantic strolls on the beach.”

”I get sunburnt by stepping outside at night.” 

Michael glared at Mr. Heere and huffed. “Look, you’re not giving me many options, here. Can’t you settle? If this is about your ex-wife, Mr. Heere, you have to get over her. If that means having a fling or starting another long-term relationship, then so be it,” he explained, and Jeremy’s dad snatched his phone from Michael. “I need to go to the store. Need anything?” he asked, dismissing Michael’s previous comment. 

“Garlic rolls!” Jeremy yelled, walking out of the oven with mitts on both hands. “Or garlic bread. Or both. Actually, make that a chocolate cake. Wait! I want cheesecake.” Mr. Heere squinted at his son, shaking his head. “Are you on your period?” 

“No, Dad, my period doesn’t start for another three weeks. Be sensitive! Don’t blame my cravings on my menstrual cycle,” Jeremy pouted, and Michael pushed himself up and off of the couch. He kissed Jeremy on top of his head and looked at the enchiladas Jeremy had made. They looked like pale logs with pieces of shit on them. 

Mr. Heere looked at the tray over Michael’s head, grunting. “I’m also going to Taco Bell. Michael, Starburst Freeze?” he asked upon seeing the “food” his son made. Michael nodded wordlessly and shot him a grateful look, then kissed Jeremy’s cheek. “Wow, babe, they look great,” he lied, but Jeremy smiled proudly. 

“Yeah! They do! They smell... burnt. Okay, they look like fuck,” Jeremy mumbled, and Michael wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s waist. “Nah, they look edible. Make me a dish?” 

The front door opened and closed as Mr. Heere ran off to run errands, but mainly to get away from the annoying teenagers that rarely left his house nowadays. He had no problem with their relationship whatsoever, but would they ever even leave the puppy love stage? 

Jeremy turned around to look at Michael. “Hey,” he said softly, putting his arms around Michael’s neck. “Thanks for what you’re doing for my dad. I know my relationship with him is, well, getting better, but you’re a good filler for the son position.” Michael snorted and rolled his eyes. “Baby, your dad _loves_ you. We’re both pretty much his sons, but you moreso than me. He really appreciates the fact that you’re working on rebuilding that relationship with him,” Michael promised, kissing Jeremy’s nose. “Besides, it takes every ounce of self control I have to not say ‘your son calls me daddy too’ at every meal.” 

Jeremy gasped and punched Michael in the arm. “D-Don’t _ever_ say that, Michael Mell. I swear on these dead enchiladas, I will murder you.” Michael laughed and kissed Jeremy again. “Oh, you wouldn’t. Now get me food, Gordon Ramsey. I’m famished.” He let go of Jeremy and walked over to the fridge to get a can of Dr. Pepper. Jeremy scoffed and got down a plate. “Should I be threatened by Gordon Ramsey? I get it, he can locate the lamb sauce, but I am one hundred percent better than him.” 

“Mm, I dunno. Do you host lots of TV shows from hotel decor to kids cooking to a British doctor show with no censorship?” Michael mused, opening the can and leaning against the counter. 

Jeremy hummed and scraped the enchilada off of the tray. “Uh, that’s _Embarrassing Bodies_. That’s Christian Jessen, uncultured turkey.” Michael laughed and took a sip of his soda. “Yeah, okay. Isn’t it uncultured swine?”

”That’s against my religion.” 

“‘ _You’re my religion_.’”

Jeremy threw an oven mitt at Michael and held up his plate. Just by looking at it, Michael could tell that he’d need a shitload of guacamole and sour cream. Michael walked over and took it, planting a kiss on Jeremy’s lips, then placing his plate at the kitchen island. “I stan Christian Jessen. One time, I watched every episode of every show he’s ever been in. _Undercover Doctor. Embarrassing Bodies. Supersize vs. Superskinny. Drugs Live. Hotel GB. Doctor Christian Will See You Now_ –“ Jeremy held up a hand and gave Michael a “if you say one more fucking word about Christian Jessen I will shove this spatula down your throat” look. 

“Why are you so obsessed with him? He doesn’t even know you exist, Micah,” Jeremy teased, making himself a plate. Michael gave him an offended look. “Uh, seventh grade Jeremy wouldn’t say the same thing. You were obsessed with the person who voiced Goku in _Dragon Ball Z_ , not even the dubbed version,” Michael shot back, trying to cut the enchilada on his plate with his plastic fork. It broke. 

“Don’t even disrespect Masako Nozawa like that,” Jeremy replied, feeling personally attacked. “I wasn’t even that into anime.” 

Michael almost choked laughing. “Jeremy, when the SQUIP first appeared to you, one of your options was an anime chick. Try telling me that you weren’t that obsessed with anime. You’re in eleventh grade. You’re gonna turn seventeen soon, dummy,” he commented, and Jeremy blushed madly. “Don’t expose me, Michael,” he pouted, joining Michael at the island. “You went through a skater phase, an emo phase, a Pitbull phase, a grunge phase, a _Harry Potter_ phase, a _Sherlock_ phase, a _Supernatural_ phase, and a Tumblr phase since you’ve started high school. I shouldn’t be the embarrassed one here.” 

“Uh, correction, the last four are all the same thing. Besides, at least I got out of those phases. Now I’m back to square one: being a loser,” he said proudly, sticking his tongue out at Jeremy. 

Jeremy scowled. “Michael Mell, don't!”

Michael stuck his tongue out again. “Blep.” 

“Stop!”

”Blep. Blep blep blep.”

Jeremy stomped his foot. “You’re lucky you’re cute. I would’ve thrown you in with the enchiladas if you acted like this before now.” 

Michael chuckled and picked up his enchilada with his bare hands, unable to use a fork to eat it. Jeremy insisted on using plastic forks and paper plates. He took a bite and winced in pain as the overcooked tortilla shell dug into his gum. Jesus Christ, his boyfriend couldn’t cook at all. “These are hard to eat,” Jeremy observed as he stabbed his fork into the enchilada, not bothering to cut it. 

“No, they’re great,” Michael insisted. His mouth was bleeding. 

“How can I be a trophy wife if I can’t cook?” Jeremy whined, trying to take a bite of the food. “These are inedible. Trash.” He set down the enchilada and left to scrape the remains out of the dish. 

Michael didn’t oppose his decision. 

“You can be a trophy wife by cleaning the house and looking pretty for guests,” Michael said sweetly, jumping slightly as he heard the doorbell ring. “See? They were drawn to your excellent housewife skills. You’re a magnet.”

Jeremy smiled and set the dish down, then walked to the door and answered it. A lady that neither Michael nor Jeremy knew stood at the door, peeping in. 

“H-Hi, sorry!” she said anxiously, smiling from Jeremy to Michael. “I, uh, I went on a date with a, uh, last name Heere? He left his wallet and I thought I’d return it.” Jeremy gave the lady a perplexed look, but took the wallet. He looked inside and saw his dad’s driver’s license, along with a thick wad of cash and a Dave and Buster’s gift card. 

Michael joined Jeremy at the door. “He’s not here right now, actually. Weird that he didn’t notice his wallet was missing... When did you go on a date?” he asked, taking the wallet from Jeremy. The lady brought a finger to her chin thoughtfully. “Hard to say,” she admitted. “I think it was two nights ago. We didn’t hit it off that well, but I was busy yesterday and couldn’t return it. Don’t worry, I didn’t, uh, use anything.” 

Jeremy liked this lady. She did seem like his dad’s type, whatever that was. “Oh, well please, come in! I failed at making enchiladas, but we have Oreos and Dr. Pepper,” he invited her in, and Michael smiled at Jeremy. What a lovely host. 

However, the lady looked wary. “Oh, I don’t know... My daughter must’ve just gotten home from her improv class at the local theatre,” she worried, and Jeremy’s eyebrows knitted together. “Theatre? I like theatre. What’s her name?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe. 

“Christine.”

Michael and Jeremy almost choked. Christine’s mom had gone on a Tinder date with Jeremy’s dad? “O-Oh my God,” Jeremy muttered. He had never even met Christine’s mom, which was already sign one of him being a clueless boyfriend. Did she even know about him? 

“You know her?” Ms. Canigula asked, perking up. No wonder Jeremy thought she had looked familiar. “Actually, yeah,” Michael piped in, as Jeremy was too shocked to speak. “She goes to school with us. She’s in the play with Jeremy!” 

Ms. Canigula smiled pleasantly and stuck out her hand to shake Jeremy’s, then Michael’s. “It’s nice to know she has such kind friends! She never talks to me about school or her friends or who she’s dating... I wish she would! You two seem great! What’d you say your name was?” she asked Michael. “I’m Michael Mell. This is my boyfriend, Jeremy Heere.” 

Jeremy waved and Ms. Canigula’s grin didn’t falter. “You’re a lovely couple,” she complimented them, making Jeremy blush. “Your father is lucky to have two such wonderful young men in his life, Jeremy!” 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come in? My dad will be home in a few seconds when he realizes he’s driving without his license,” Jeremy asked again, hoping that she’d come in and stay a bit. Ms. Canigula gave it a second thought, then nodded. “Sure. Just until your dad comes home. I want to thank him again for a wonderful date! I’m not good at first impressions.”

Michael and Jeremy moved aside, welcoming Ms. Canigula warmly. “You can sit in the living room or wherever! I’ll call him,” Michael said softly, gesturing to the living room area. Jeremy and her went to sit down, and Michael pulled out his phone. 

What a coincidence.

———

Mr. Heere opened the door and looked at the chattering group in his living room. Michael had told him that someone was over and had his wallet, and since he really hadn’t been out of the house much for two days, he had completely forgotten about it. Which Tinder date was this?

”Hello!” the lady chimed from between Michael and Jeremy. Shit, it was weird daughter lady. 

“H-Hi,” Mr. Heere replied awkwardly, hanging his coat up on the rack next to the door. “Thank you so much for bringing my wallet by.” 

Mrs. Canigula beamed. “Of course! I’m sorry I didn’t bring it by earlier; I was really busy yesterday. Your son and his boyfriend are such wonderful people, by the way! So kind!” 

Mr. Heere felt a surge of pride. “Aren’t they?” 

Jeremy looked at his dad pointedly. “You didn’t tell me you went on a date with Christine’s mom,” he said, and Mr. Heere’s face reddened. Wait, Christine as in the girl Jeremy dumped for Michael Christine? 

“I didn’t know she was Christine’s mom!” he said, voice faltering. Ms. Canigula looked from Jeremy to his dad and stood up slowly, placing a hand on Michael’s shoulder. “It’s all good. I should get going. Thank you again for a wonderful night. I, uh, I’m not great with first impressions, by the way,” she was talking to Mr. Heere. “I’d love to give it a second shot, if you’re interested.” 

Mr. Heere’s throat closed up. How awkward would that be if he dated his son’s ex-girlfriend’s mom? “Actually, I–“

”He’d love to,” Michael interrupted, and both Jeremy and Mr. Heere shot him a dirty look. “How about tomorrow night, Olive Garden? My treat.” Ms. Canigula smiled and nodded. “That’d be lovely! I can meet you there at six.”

”No, he can pick you up at six.” 

Jeremy’s glare intensified. What the fuck was Michael doing? He didn’t want his dad dating his ex-girlfriend’s mom. Mr. Heere grinned awkwardly. “Uh, sure,” he mumbled. “I’ll, er, text you?” 

Ms. Canigula smiled again and walked towards the door. “Sounds good. See you then!” With that, she was gone. Mr. Heere closed the door behind her, then shot daggers at Michael. “Michael, what was that? I don’t want to date Christine’s mom!” 

Jeremy crossed his arms. “I don’t want my ex-girlfriend to be my sister!” 

Michael shrunk into his seat under the intense glares of the Heere family. “D-Don’t think of it that way. Uh, she just seems really nice! I mean, she didn’t steal your money or credit card, after all,” he defended himself, and Mr. Heere scoffed. “Just because she didn’t commit identity theft doesn’t mean I want to date her. Besides, she’s not really my type,” he retorted, and Jeremy shot him an offended glance.

”Then what is your type? Mom left us without warning. Is that your type?” he practically spat. Michael sunk even further into his seat. What had he started? 

Mr. Heere was seething. “You think I had control over that, Jeremy?”

”You could’ve tried being a better husband!” 

“Well maybe you could’ve been a better son!”

Michael jumped to his feet and held up his hands. “Okay, stop! This is ridiculous! It was no one’s fault that she left, okay? She doesn’t deserve this family,” he tried soothing the situation, but it only irritated Jeremy and his dad further. 

“Deserve this family?” Mr. Heere looked like he was going to explode. “Michael, she was my everything. Without her, I work around the house in my underwear. I have no motivation! I don’t want to date other women! Her love and commitment to this family meant the world to me!”

Jeremy stood up too. “Her commitment? Love? What are you talking about?” he cried, frantic. “She _left_ us! She didn’t love us! She didn’t love you!” 

Before Michael could say anything else, Mr. Heere slammed his foot onto the wooden floor. “That’s it! Both of you, leave. I’m not going to deal with this... with this disrespect!” his orders were uncertain, but he stood by them. “You have no right to talk about your mother that way, whether she left us or not! Go stay at Michael’s. I can’t stand the sight of either of you!”

Michael had never seen Mr. Heere angry. The sight was enough to make him cry, but he knew that it’d be best if they left the mess he had created. Jeremy glared at his dad hotly. “Fine! We will!” he screamed, grabbing Michael’s wrist and pulling him to the door. He yanked his keys down from the rack and threw the door open. Michael was silent. 

Jeremy let go of Michael and marched to the driver’s side, opening his door and slamming it behind him angrily. Michael followed suit, but not angrily. He closed his door carefully. 

Jeremy started the car, the lights reflecting off of his glossy eyes. It saddened Michael greatly to know that things had never really been patched up between Jeremy and his dad. The two pulled out of the driveway and towards Michael’s house. They sat in silence for a minute, until Michael spoke up. “Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked quietly, setting his hand over Jeremy’s on his steering wheel. Jeremy sniffles and his lips quivered slightly. 

“Talk about what? The fact that my dad is completely in denial? The fact that my boyfriend just encouraged him to date my ex-girlfriend’s mom? Oh, yeah, sure, that’d end up real well! Let’s talk about that!” 

He slammed on the breaks as he almost missed a stop sign. Michael lurched forward and reached out to break his fall. “Jesus, Jeremy,” he hissed under his breath, then looked up at his boyfriend. “Look, okay, I’m _sorry_ that I want your dad to be happy. Sorry I want him to get over your mother. Sorry that the woman he so happened to go out with was Christine’s mom. I just want you two to get along. I thought you were making progress.”

Jeremy scoffed and a tear rolled down his cheek. He swiped at it angrily. “Yeah, well, as you can see, we made great progress. I just got kicked out of the house until further notice, and apparently my dad is depressed. Great start.” 

Michael hit his fist hard against the center console, causing Jeremy to jump and reflexively hit the breaks. “Stop the fucking car for one minute!” Michael almost screamed, grabbing Jeremy’s arm and pulling him to meet his gaze. Jeremy searched his face fearfully, which made Michael feel guilty. He loosened his grip. “S-Sorry,” he apologized. “It’s just... Things could be worse. They can always be worse. Right now, your dad doesn’t have a son. He doesn’t have a wife. He’s so alone. You heard him, Jere. He literally admitted to not seeing any purpose to life anymore because your mother was his life. You can’t act like the victim here. You have a place to stay and a boyfriend who loves you. I’m your home. Your dad doesn’t have that.” 

Jeremy began tearing up again, and then started bawling. He slammed the car into park and threw his arms around Michael, crying into his shoulder unattractively and rubbing his snotty nose on Michael’s sweater. “I’m s-so sorry!” he cried, voice muffled. Michael ran his fingers through Jeremy’s hair and shushed him. “It’s fine. Let’s just... Let’s go home. We can talk to your dad tomorrow.” 

Michael hadn’t meant to cause such a mess, but if he could get Jeremy to finally make amends with his dad, then maybe things would be overall better for all three of them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don’t ask what this chapter is :)) I just want to write 
> 
> needed me some mr heere smh 
> 
> xofaith


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ugh I should really start another multi-chapter fic smh this is getting old??
> 
> xofaith

The ride to Michael’s house was quiet, but it didn’t matter since the house was only minutes away from Jeremy’s. It was a comfortable silence, a hopeful silence. 

Michael decided to text an apology to Mr. Heere, but didn’t really know when to send it. He re-read the message he had typed out and let his thumb hover over the “send” button. 

**I’m really sorry for the way I acted. I didn’t mean to cause a problem. I just want you to be happy, because you deserve to be happy. I want you and Jeremy to be happy with each other, even if it’s unrealistic. I thought maybe Ms. Canigula was a safe start. Text her and tell her that the date is off because Jeremy broke his nose or something... Take as much time as you need. I’ll keep Jere safe and calm him down.**

It wasn’t exactly a tear-jerker, but it would suffice. The light made Michael’s face glow slightly, a sight that Jeremy took in as he checked on his boyfriend, who was being awfully quiet. He didn’t want to probe, so he turned his attention back to the road. “Is your mom home?” he asked Michael, who looked up at him and blinked. “Oh, uh, no. She’s out of town again.” 

Though Michael’s family problems weren’t as extensive as Jeremy’s, he still didn’t get to see his parents very often. He wished that his dad and mom were around like Mr. Heere, but knowing the strained relationship he had with his son made Michael glad that he wasn’t in Jeremy’s place. His family was always leaving him home alone, knowing that he wouldn’t do anything rash. What was the worst he could do? Invite Jeremy over? 

“Sorry,” Jeremy muttered, turning into Michael’s driveway. “I know you miss them.” 

He reached for Michael’s hand and squeezed it softly, offering him a smile. Michael grinned back and kissed Jeremy. “A bit. I have you, though. I want to watch something with Christian Jessen.”

Jeremy let go of Michael’s hand and scoffed in disbelief. “Just when I thought you had forgotten about him. You know how I feel about _Embarrassing Bodies_. Too much blood. Too much up-close vagina action,” he protested, and Michael shrugged. “Fine. _Ivan the Incredible_.”

”Absolutely not.”

” _Harry Potter._ ”

”Nuh uh.”

” _Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared._ ”

”God, no.”

” _The Lorax_.”

A beat. 

“Fine.”

———

As Michael returned to the living room after calling Papa John’s, he started singing along to the first song of _The Lorax_ , his favorite animated movie. Clearly, Michael had very high standards for movies, and _The Lorax_ absolutely exceeded all of them. Mainly because Danny DeVito was in it. Also Ed Helms, but mostly Danny. 

“ _We thank the Lord for all we’ve got!_ ” he screamed, not really singing. Jeremy groaned and threw himself back onto the couch. “If I knew you were gonna be like this, I would’ve made you watch a movie with no songs. Like _Cars_.” 

Michael clucked at Jeremy. “Uh, _Life is a Highway_ is a fucking bop, Heere. Don’t be jealous of my superior singing skills,” he teased, but frowned because he had missed his favorite part. “Rewind it! I wanna sing the part about the parking lot.” Jeremy shoved the remote in between the couch cushions. “Whoops. I lost it.” Michael leaned over the back of the couch and pulled Jeremy’s hair angrily, then walked around the sofa and plopped down next to him. “I wanna be the big spoon, dork. Move.” 

Jeremy chuckled and adjusted, making room for Michael behind him. Michael moved against Jeremy, bending his knees and propping Jeremy’s up. He kissed behind Jeremy’s ear and looked back up at the screen. 

“ _Thhhhh_ –“

Jeremy kicked him. 

“What did you order from Domino’s?” 

“Uh, Papa John’s, you pizza hoe. You know that I only order pizza from my papí, my number one, my one and only. Unlike you, Papa John’s is enough for me,” Michael ranted, and Jeremy snorted. “Okay, so actually shut up. Like, please. Why am I dating you? This isn’t what I signed up for. End free trial.” 

Michael shook his head. “Sorry, this was a credit card scam. You now have to pay up in endless kisses and pet names every month until your inevitable death,” he explained, and Jeremy moved closer to him. 

“Just tell me what we’re eating for dinner. Those enchiladas didn’t settle well,” he said, pulling Michael’s arm over his side and up to his face. Michael chuckled quietly. “They didn’t settle at all. I had a bite and it attacked me,” he admitted, and Jeremy frowned. “I get it, okay? I can’t cook. Like _you_ can.” 

Michael squinted at the television screen. “Jeremy, you fuckin’ nut, I’m the offspring of a Filipino man and an Ecuadorian woman. You of all people know that I can and do cook. I just don’t feel like going to buy ingredients and shit from Walmart because we live in bum-fuck nowhere.” Jeremy smirked and turned his head slightly. “Mph, well, I like your cooking. Very exotic.” 

“I made an omelet.”

”Exotic!” Jeremy insisted, and then remembered where this conversation had originated. “Okay, seriously, what are we eating?” 

Michael pursed his lips and tried to remember what he ordered. “Your favorite, duh. Featuring an order of cheesy bread.” Jeremy squealed. “I love cheesy bread. I would lay down my life for cheesy bread. I can’t live without cheesy bread. Cheesy bread has been my best friend for twelve years, and now we’re dating.” Michael moved his hand to cover Jeremy’s mouth. “Shut the fuck up about cheesy bread, you’re making me jelly.” 

Jeremy’s muffled speaking made Michael feel tired. He wanted to stay like that forever, even if it was cliché. He wanted to cuddle with his cheesy bread-obsessed boyfriend on his couch while watching the Lorax until he died. It was perfect. 

He appreciated the moment so much that he fell asleep. 

———

Jeremy shook Michael awake upon hearing the doorbell ring. He didn’t realize that Michael had fallen asleep, but rather had just assumed that his lack of speaking in the conversation was a result of Jeremy’s ranting about cheesy bread. 

Michael came to it with a groan. “Mm, wanna sleep,” he murmured, nuzzling into the crook of Jeremy’s neck. The warmth made Jeremy want to fall asleep too, but his stomach told him that Michael needed to wake the fuck up and go get their pizza. “Pizza’s here, Micah. Go fetch.” Begrudgingly, Michael sat up, rolling over his boyfriend and grabbing his wallet off of the table. He just wanted to sleep with his arms around Jeremy, but _no_ , Jeremy was _hungry_. 

He answered the door wordlessly, looking from the boxes to the poor delivery guy who was stuck delivering pizzas at nine at night on a Friday. Boy, did he not have a life. “Michael?” the man asked, looking at the receipt taped on top of the boxes. Michael looked at him tiredly. “Mm-yeah, that’s me,” he replied, reading the dude’s name tag. Pete. 

Pete smiled and read the receipt again. “Alright. Looks like you owe me–“ 

Michael took out a twenty dollar bill and a five dollar bill, thrusting them at the delivery boy. He had only ordered a large pizza and cheesy bread, so it couldn’t possibly cost more. “Here, take it,” he muttered, still trying to wake up all the way. “Keep the change, Peter.” Pete gave him a weird look, but took the money actually. “Sign? Also, it’s not short for anything. It’s just Pete,” he told Michael, who didn’t care to listen. He picked up a pen that was rolling around on top of the pizza boxes and scribbled on the receipt. 

“Merry Christmas.” 

He took the boxes and winked at Pete, then kicked the door close behind him. He just wanted to sleep. 

Jeremy leaned over the couch. “Did you just wink at that middle-aged man? Micah, don’t cheat on me,” he pouted, and Michael leaned down to kiss him. “Mm, don’t worry. He’s not my type. I only like skinny white boys who would put their life on the line for cheesy bread,” he promised Jeremy, walking in front of the couch and setting the boxes down on the coffee table. 

“Besides, his name was Pete. Not Peter, not Pete-ichael, not Peterson. Just Pete. I can’t trust a man like that.” 

Jeremy giggled and threw open the box of cheesy bread. “God, I want to marry you, Michael Mell,” he said breathlessly, not really paying attention. He just really loved cheesy bread. However, that statement woke Michael up. What did Jeremy say?

”Wait,” he backtracked as Jeremy broke off a piece of the bread. “What’d you say?” Jeremy’s heart leapt. Of course he meant it, but it had just slipped out so casually. 

“I... I, uh, said I want to marry you.” 

“Really?” Michael asked genuinely, tears brimming his eyes. God, they cried way too much. “Uh, yes, of course, Michael,” Jeremy stated, taking a bite of his bread. “I love you. We’ve been dating for, like, two weeks or whatever, probably not even, but I’ve known you my whole life. I’m certain that I’ll never be able to physically love a human more than you.” 

Michael smiled widely and kissed Jeremy, even though he had food in his mouth. He knew that their relationship was serious, but that type of statement warmed his heart and gave him hope. 

“I love you so much, Jeremy Heere,” he whispered, embracing the shorter. 

“I love you more,” Jeremy contested. “Now stop making me cry and eat some pizza.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter seems short but like I gotta get my meme credit in and just general feel of life w the boys ;))
> 
> also my fingers are all literally numb ouch 
> 
> xofaith


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: the boys smoke hippie salad and do a high please be warned 
> 
> side note I don’t do drugs I just go to a school where lots of people do don’t hurt me for the inaccuracy :)))
> 
> xofaith

“Michael Mell, I can’t believe you got Jeremy kicked out of his house! Go to Sprint and put him on our family plan. Let him pick out sheets for the bed downstairs. I’ll have to add him to our insurance...” Michael’s mom ranted over the phone. She was staying in a hotel a few towns over for some conference things. Since when did accountants go to conferences? 

Michael groaned and put his mom on speakerphone. “Mom, not like that,” he interjected, and Jeremy cocked his brow. “Huh?” he asked, and Mrs. Mell gasped on the other end of the line. “Jeremy, dear, are you okay? You got kicked out? Is it safe to go back and get your belongings and move in with us?” she continued, and Jeremy’s face matched Michael’s “Ah, uh, I wasn’t _kicked out_ kicked out. We made my dad mad and he asked us to leave for a few days so he can regain his composure. Sorry.” 

Mrs. Mell sighed and took a breath. “You’re positive? I knew it wasn’t like your dad to just kick you out. So you’re okay?” 

“Yes ma’am.”

”Good,” she replied. “Michael? Still there?” 

“Yeah, Mom.” 

“Please don’t stay up too late. Use protection. Don’t drink and drive. Oh, and _please_ don’t smoke in the house. You know I hate the smell,” she pleaded, and Michael snorted. “Sure. Love you.” 

“Love you too, honey! Love you, Jeremy!”

”You too. Bye.” 

With that, Michael hung up on his mom and fell back into the couch. He and Jeremy had stayed up pretty late, and he was starting to get a headache. He really did need to drink water for once. “Now that your mom mentioned it, I feel like getting high in the house. Wanna smoke?” Jeremy suggested. He and Michael rarely got high in the basement anymore, but it was fun and relaxing and usually led to some weird shit, even before they had started dating. 

“Yeah, sure. I need to get some water and Aspirin first, though,” Michael agreed, and went to retrieve those two things. Jeremy pushed himself off of the couch and made his way down to the basement. Mrs. Mell wouldn’t mind if they smoked in the basement, but she always pretended like she did. When Michael was first allowed to smoke medical marijuana for his social anxiety, she made it a sort of weekly thing. She didn’t want him smoking all of the time, but if it could help him in some way, she was willing to pay for the weed. 

“Don’t touch my devil lettuce yet,” Michael called from upstairs, and Jeremy sat on the edge of the basement bed. He knew that Michael kept the buds in a plastic bag in a shoebox in his closet, because he had watched him take it out many times before. He likes to crush up the leaves in his spare time so that he wouldn’t have to worry about it before he and Jeremy needed a smoke. After a while, Michael had stopped using the marijuana just for his anxiety, but rather for a good time. Plus, he starting sharing his blunt with Jeremy. Mrs. Mell was incredibly angry the first time she caught them, but she had grown used to it. 

Michael came running down the stairs with a glass of water in one hand and a bag of Ruffles in his other hand. Him and Jeremy, very stereotypically, got the munchies every time they smoked. He recalled a time when they had emptied the majority of the fridge because they just wanted to eat. It was not a great feeling to wake up to the next morning. 

“I’m limiting us to this one bag of chips. We can’t eat more because we just ate an entire pizza and thing of cheesy bread. We should diet,” Michael joked, setting the chips down by Jeremy and taking a sip of water. Jeremy chuckled and shook his head. “I’d crack. My metabolism will catch up with me one day, but for now, I’ll take advantage of it.” Michael smirked and opened the closet in the basement. It used to be used for towels and extra blankets, but after Jeremy had pretty much started living at the house, the closet was his. He didn’t use it, but it was his. Michael pulled down the shoebox on the top rack, opening it to take out the bag, a cigarillo, and a lighter. 

He put the box on the TV stand and joined Jeremy on the bed, grabbing a book to work on. Michael had done this so many times that Jeremy considered him an expert. Michael handed Jeremy the bag and rolled out the cigarillo, cracking it lengthwise and licking it. “You should try rolling one one day, Jere. The process is almost as relaxing as the smoke itself.” 

Jeremy scoffed and shook his head, taking out a pinch of the marijuana and packing it into the wrap. “I dunno, Micah. You seem to have it under control. I’d waste a whole three dollars worth of the rolls,” he commented, and Michael couldn’t disagree. Last time he had let Jeremy prepare the wrap, Jeremy broke it in three different spots. How, he didn’t exactly know. Michael rolled it up and tightened it, then held it up and baked it with the lighter. The sight really took Jeremy back. He hadn’t smoked with Michael since before taking the SQUIP, which seemed like forever ago. Jeremy really enjoyed smoking weed, but it usually made his acne a lot worse than it was. However, it calmed his rapid thoughts momentarily and made him feel closer to Michael.

The putrid smell drifted through the air, already making the basement smell like drugs. Michael passed the joint to Jeremy, who smiled and rested it between his lips, breathing in. Since it had been a while, the smoke made him cough softly. Michael smirked and kissed Jeremy’s cheek, then took the blunt back. He took a puff and shook it slightly, gazing at Jeremy. “How long has it been since we’ve smoked together?” 

“What, weed?” 

Michael squinted at him. “What else? We don’t smoke cigarettes or snort cocaine, Jere. Yes, weed.” Jeremy smiled and leaned back on his hands. “Uh, since before I took the SQUIP. Long time.” It usually only took Jeremy a few hits to start feeling the effects, but he didn’t get super stoned until an hour after. Michael took even longer. 

“Hm,” Michael hummed, handing it back to Jeremy. “Thought it was sooner.” 

Jeremy took a hit and exhaled onto Michael’s face. “Nah, I wish. How long has it been since you smoked?” Michael gazed at him thoughtfully and blinked. “Ah, during those few days where we weren’t talking because you kissed me. My anxiety got kinda bad.” Jeremy felt a pang of guilt in his chest as he passed the blunt back to Michael. He remembered the six days without speaking a word to Michael because he was so confused about his sexuality and their relationship and how they’d keep up their friendship. 

“Oh,” was all he could say, and Michael smiled softly. He let the joint rest between his fingers, messing with it as the smoke started getting foggy. “It’s okay. It wasn’t a happy high like the highs I experience with you, dummy.” Jeremy nodded and smiled back. He took the blunt and took another hit, the mellow feeling starting to set in. “The only downside of getting high with you is the fact that we eat like an obese American family of eight at Shoney’s.” Michael snorted and rolled his eyes. He was starting to feel calmer already. “Shut up. At least one of us doesn’t look the role.” 

Jeremy frowned slightly. “Hey, don’t talk about yourself like that,” he scolded, placing the joint in between Michael’s lips. He started getting drowsy. “I love your body. You should, too. At least you have some muscle. _I_ can’t pick you up on our wedding like a princess.” 

Michael took a hit and gave Jeremy a funny look. He took the joint out of his mouth and handed it to Jeremy, who just stared at it. “You probably won’t have the leg strength to smash the bottle thing, either. You’d roll over,” he joked, and Jeremy laughed. “Okay, uh, first of all, I wouldn’t. That’d be so embarrassing. And second, it wouldn’t matter, because at least I’d be married to you.” 

They continued passing the blunt for a few more minutes, only taking hits every so often. At some point, Michael insisted on turning on _Toy Story 3_ , but Jeremy didn’t really process it. It felt like a huge blanket was pressing him into the bed; he felt so calm. After about twenty minutes, the joint burnt out, and Michael trudged to the bathroom to flush it. He didn’t think that that was the best method of disposal, but it worked. He came back to Jeremy laying back on the bed, waiting for the real high to settle. 

“You’re cute,” he said, and Jeremy’s head fell over towards him. He smiled. “No, you.” 

“You.”

”You.”

”You.”

”Shut up and cuddle with me,” Jeremy insisted, reaching out at Michael and opening and closing his hands. Michael fell on top of Jeremy and kissed his nose. “You smell weird,” he commented, and Jeremy pouted. “I smell like a marijuana,” he complained, and Michael kissed him again. “My two faves.”

———

Michael braided Jeremy’s sort of curly hair and nodded as he said something or rather. When they were high, Jeremy and Michael cried to Pixar movies and talked about the impending apocalypse, but something was different. Maybe it was Jeremy’s constant mentioning of marrying Michael and getting a dog (Wolfgang Pup II), or maybe it was Michael’s detailed description of their mud room and the rainboots he promised to buy Jeremy and their kids. 

“Wolfie will wear those... those dog booties, y’know? Like, how cute? Have you ever seen a video of a dog wearing booties? Here, look,” Jeremy mumbled, holding up his phone. Michael’s reflection stared back at him, but he nodded understandably. “Yeah, that’s so cute!” he squealed, pointing at himself. “Oh shit, that me.” 

“You are cute.”

”Oh and you guys can all have matching raincoats, I forgot to mention. You’re gonna have duck boots and a yellow one. One of our kids... uh, we’ll call him Jeremy Number Two... Yeah, he’s gonna have hippo boots. And our other kid, her name is Jeremy Number Three, she’s gonna have lizard shoes. Haha, Mark Zuckerbergenstocks.” Jeremy was too high to pick up on the joke, but rather gasped. “Oh my God, hippos? Dude, that’s so fuckin’ rad.” 

Michael nodded and finished braiding a thick strand of hair, moving on to another one. “Woah, your hair is soft. What shampoo do you use?” he asked, smelling Jeremy’s head. Jeremy looked at his hands. “What shampoo do you use?” 

“Two-in-one Head and Shoulders.” 

“Then that.” 

Jeremy looked up at the movie and frowned. “Oh my God, they’re gonna fuckin’ die,” he gasped as the screen panned from toy to toy, showing each one trembling in fear and holding hands. It made him tear up. Michael stopped braiding to watch, then looked back at Jeremy. He leaned down to kiss him on the mouth, not thinking too much about the weird taste or Jeremy’s slightly chapped lips. “I wanna have high sex one day. Like, you know, smoke and get stoned, then fuck. That’d be gnarly.” 

“I wanna go to the skating rink tomorrow. But also, ditto.” 

Michael nodded in agreement. “Oh my God, yes. The one thing I’m good at.” 

Jeremy smiled and looked up at Michael. His head was in Michael’s lap, which was the usual position they smoked in. Michael always played with Jeremy’s hair when they got high, unless they were playing video games or eating. Jeremy spent lots of hours playing _Luigi’s Haunted Mansion_ while high. “I wanna play _Frogriders_ ,” he whined, and Michael groaned. “No.”

“ _Jórvík_.”

”Nuh uh.”

” _Article 27._ ” 

Michael scrunched his nose up at Jeremy. “Okay, you fucking nerd, I don’t even own that. The other two I’ve acquired through _legal_ means.” 

“Trading your Gameboy wasn’t illegal.” 

Michael smiled hazily and kissed Jeremy again. “Back to the stoned sex thing, let’s just make out. I’m horny but I don’t wanna do anything sexual.” 

Jeremy rolled over in Michael’s lap, hair still braided and sticking out in every direction. “Boo, you’re no fun,” he pouted, getting up and leaning over Michael. He pressed a kiss into Michael’s temple and rested on his chest. “I’m really tired. I feel so relaxed. Can we sleep?” Michael kissed the top of Jeremy’s head and fell back into the pillow. “Yeah, all that kissing has made me tired.” Jeremy snorted and listened to Michael’s beating heart, slowly drifting off. He’d probably wake up with his heightened state of anxiety once the high wore off, then would proceed to devour the entire bag of chips. But for now, all he could do was sleep and melt into Michael’s warmth. 


	25. Chapter 25

Michael woke up to an empty bed, a slight headache pounding against the back of his head. God, what time was it?

Wait, where was Jeremy?

Michael panicked momentarily but figured that Jeremy was probably either in the bathroom or already upstairs. He groaned tiredly and pushed himself up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and patting around on the nightstand for his glasses. Why did his neck hurt so bad? Upon finding his glasses, Michael slid them onto his face and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He looked up the staircase and saw that the door was cracked open, and he could hear the wooden boards squeaking above. 

He got out of bed and stretched, then made his way upstairs. Michael opened the basement door all the way and saw Jeremy pacing, eating the bag of Ruffles. “Morning,” Michael said softly, and Jeremy jumped. He spun around with a mouthful of chips. “Mor’eeg,” he replied, chewing the chips and looking in the bag. He swallowed and showed Michael. “Empty.” 

Michael stayed in the doorway and looked from Jeremy to the bag. “I’m not really that hungry.” It was really hit or miss with the whole munchies thing for Michael; he either had the appetite of a goldfish or wanted to devour a herd of elephants. Jeremy nodded and crumpled the bag up, tossing it in the trash. He walked to the fridge and scanned the shelves for more to eat. “Michael, I’m fucking starving. I’m so hungry,” he whined, and Michael walked over to the kitchen with him.

”Breakfast date? You, me, Waffle House? It’ll be romantic,” Michael suggested, leaning against the counter. Jeremy turned around and looked Michael up and down. Damn, his boyfriend was so fucking cute. Also, Waffle House sounded fucking bomb just then. “Please,” he begged, and Michael smirked. “You sound so sexy when you beg like that. If only it was under different circumstances,” he mused, and Jeremy blushed. 

“It can be...”

Michael snorted. “Get dressed, we’re leaving in five.” 

Jeremy grinned and ran over to Michael, pulling him down by his shirt collar (which, side note, did Michael actually sleep with a shirt on again?) to kiss him and bounded to Michael’s room, starving and actually in love with breakfast food. Also his boyfriend. 

Michael chuckled to himself and followed Jeremy. He sat on the bed and watched Jeremy pull one of Michael’s sweaters from the closet. The one he ended up choosing was just plain black, but the fact that it was _Michael’s sweater_ made all the difference. Jeremy pulled the shirt he was wearing over his head and replaced it with Michael’s, then took of his pajama pants and pulled some of his own out of his drawer. He tossed Michael a pair of black jeans and then fished a green hoodie that matched his sweater in lack of design out of the closet. Jeremy also grabbed an old band tee out of the closet and tossed it to Michael. 

“Boring, I don’t like wearing just plain old colors,” Michael complained, and Jeremy found a hoodie that said “SALAD” on it instead. “When was the last time you ate a salad?” Jeremy snorted, and Michael pulled his shirt off. He put on the tee and pulled the hoodie over his head. “I’ll have you know that we ate salad the other night,” he stated, sticking his tongue out at Jeremy. 

Jeremy just wanted fucking Waffle House. He needed to eat. 

———

“Waffle House. Waffle House. Waffle House. Waffle House,” Jeremy chanted as he and Michael walked hand-in-hand to the entrance of Waffle House, and Michael held the door open for him as Jeremy kissed his cheek. “You’re a good boyfriend today,” Jeremy complimented him, though Michael took it a different way. “Uh, rude,” he replied, following Jeremy. “Am I not always a good boyfriend?”

Jeremy thought on it. “Only when you give me food and/or cuddles and kisses,” he remarked, and Michael snickered. “So all the time?” 

“All the time.”

They found a booth to sit in and played a light game of footsies before a waitress came to take their drink order. “I’ll have coffee please,” Michael said with a smile, and both he and the waitress looked at Jeremy. “Hm... I think I’ll have hot chocolate. Just the mood.” The waitress nodded and left to retrieve their drinks. “God, I love winter!” Jeremy clapped quietly, and Michael nodded in agreement. “Not snowing yet, but the cold air is nice.” 

“Absolutely. It’s more fun getting warm than trying to cool off. Oh, hey, are we going skating today?” Jeremy asked excitedly, and Michael shrugged. “Sounds good to me,” he replied, and Jeremy’s smile widened. He unwrapped his silverware and folded the paper into a square, then licked the edge and ripped off the excess paper. 

The waitress came back with their drinks as Jeremy finished his origami heart and handed it to Michael. “Thanks!” Jeremy told the lady, who nodded and gave him a drink spoon. “My pleasure. You boys know what you want to eat yet?” she asked, taking out a notepad and shifting her weight to one leg. 

Michael rubbed his eyes as his headache seemed to worsen. “Y-Yeah, uh, can I please have the scrambled eggs? With toast? Thank you.” The lady scribbled down his order and looked over to Jeremy. “And for you, sweetheart?”

”Er, probably an order of French toast, scrambled eggs, hash browns, and a waffle, please? Oh, and can you please bring some cream and sugar for my boyfriend? I think you may have forgotten it by accident,” he said softly, pointing to Michael’s mug. The lady gave him a surprised look and nodded. “Sure, hon. I’ll be back with the cream and sugar and your order will be out shortly.”

Jeremy smiled gratefully at her and groaned as his stomach growled. “God, I’m famished,” he commented, rubbing his stomach dramatically. “I feel like I’m gonna die. This isn’t what my munchies are usually like.” Michael tilted his head and rubbed his cheek, which was itchy, against his shoulder. “Mm, weird. Usually you just eat to eat. Are you sure these are munchies and not just you being hungry?” Jeremy thought for a minute and decided that the last option was more probable.

Then he remembered that he was kicked out of his house temporarily.

It hadn’t bothered him much at first, especially since he knew that Michael would be there for him. However, now that it was settling in and his father had yet to text him or Michael, he was starting to get worried. How long would he be kicked out for? How would it affect his relationship with his dad, which he honestly thought was improving? Why had he said all of those awful things, even though he knew he didn’t mean it? He stirred his hot chocolate absently, not noticing that the server had returned with cream and sugar for Michael.

”You good?”

Jeremy shifted his gaze up to Michael, who was pouring cream into his coffee. He may as well have been honest, because it wasn’t like he needed to hide anything from his boyfriend. “Nah, not really,” he replied, looking back at his drink. “Just thinking ‘bout Dad.” Michael’s heart skipped a beat. Shit, they were kicked out of Jeremy’s house. 

“Oh,” he said, setting down the cream. “What about him?” Jeremy brought his cup to his mouth and took a sip, grateful that the contents weren’t terribly hot. “I feel really awful. I didn’t mean anything I said,” Jeremy muttered, and Michael put a hand over one of Jeremy’s hands that was sitting on the table. “I know,” Michael consoled, offering a small smile. “Your dad didn’t mean anything he said either. I should be the one who feels bad. Hell, Jere, had I never mentioned him going on another date with Christine’s mom, we could’ve avoided this whole mess. I’ve been thinking about how fucked up it’d be if he dated her, and I know he wouldn’t be able to with a clear conscience.” 

Jeremy nodded and turned his hand over so that he could run his thumb along the back of Michael’s hand. “I guess, but it’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have said anything. I threw gasoline onto the fire, honestly. Thanks for being an arsonist with me. Couple goals,” he joked lightly, and Michael chuckled quietly. “It’s okay to be upset, Jeremy, but it’s gonna be alright. We have each other, and your dad will come to his senses shortly,” Michael reassured him, and Jeremy decided to rid his mind of the negative thoughts that were starting to form. Michael was right. 

“Anyways, are you gonna show me those killer moves later, Heere?” Michael continued, internally melting at the way Jeremy played with his hand. Jeremy snorted and nodded. “Oh yes, for sure. Me and skating go hand-in-hand, as you know,” he replied, and Michael laughed. “Yeah... Remember that one time you were skating and fell down and that old dude and his wife or whatever skated over you and tripped? I was dying laughing. I’m sure they were just dying.”

Jeremy gasped and kicked Michael under the table. “Michael Mell! You’re awful!” he hissed, and Michael just laughed harder. God, that was a good memory. “Y-You were just so-o red! I thought you were gonna cry and die of embarrassment,” Michael choked, and Jeremy pouted.

”I’m being bullied.”

Michael collected himself and shook his head, still smiling as he opened a package of sugar. “Hope something like that happens today, too. I love that skating rink,” he noted, pouring the sugar into his cup. Jeremy nodded and drank from his mug again. “Me too. It’s old but God I love how cute you look in your little retro skates and those knee pads your mom used to make you wear to the rink.”

Michael blushed and looked at Jeremy sternly. “First of all, _you_ made me wear them,” he mentioned bitterly, pouring more sugar into his coffee. “Secondly, I’m good at skating now, and I owe it all to falling and getting back up again!” Jeremy chuckled at how cheesy it sounded, but it was true; Michael was actually really good at skating. It was kind of his secret talent that no one would ever guess at, but not skating as in skateboarding. No, Michael fucking sucked at that. 

The waitress came back with Michael’s eggs and toast and Jeremy’s eggs and French toast. “I’ll be back with your waffle and your boys’ hash browns,” she said with a small, halfhearted smile. She walked off as Jeremy practically dove into his food. “God, I hate runny scrambled eggs. Why does this always happen?” Jeremy whined, shoveling eggs into his mouth anyway. 

Michael smiled and picked around at his own eggs. He took full responsibility for Jeremy getting kicked out, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel incredibly guilty. 

“How’s your hot chocolate?” Michael asked Jeremy, whose mouth was full. Jeremy swallowed and picked up his mug to show Michael that it was empty. “Great. I’ll pay because my order is seventy percent of the tab,” Jeremy offered, but Michael shook his head. “Nah, on me. I enjoy paying for food and shit,” he replied, and Jeremy shrugged. They knew not to argue about money because in one way or another, they had probably spent equal amounts on each other. Besides, it didn’t really even matter to them. 

The waitress approached the table with Jeremy’s waffle and two plates of hash browns. “Enjoy, you hear? Also, you’re a very cute couple. How old are you boys?” she asked politely, hands in her apron pockets. Jeremy looked at Michael, who didn’t have food in his mouth. “Ah, uh, seventeen,” Michael replied curtly, forcing a smile. God, he didn’t really like making small talk. 

“Oh wow, pretty young! I know that America’s changing, but do you two still face lots of hate based on your relationship?” she continued, and Michael took a sip of his coffee and glared at Jeremy pointedly, who had just swallowed. “Um, no, not really. Guess we’re, uh, lucky... Our parents are supportive, our friends are nice, it’s been good,” he commented, and Michael felt his face burning. He had never had to explain their relationship to someone he didn’t know, so he was thankful that Jeremy had stepped in. 

The waitress nodded and crossed her arms. “Well, we don’t get many gays in here, honestly. Just old couples. How long have you been together?” she asked Jeremy, who was probably much more pleasant to talk to. Jeremy’s stomach was growling. He just wanted to eat. “Twelve or thirteen years,” he replied without thinking about the question, and the lady’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, you’ve been dating since you were _four_?” 

Michael shook his head frantically and set down his mug. “Er, we, no. We’ve been best friends for twelve or thirteen years,” he corrected, and the waitress nodded understandably. “Gotcha. Okay, well, I’ll stop bothering you. Enjoy your food,” she ended the conversation, then walked away to check on another table. 

Jeremy’s ears got hot as he looked back at his place. Lord, he and Michael needed to work on their social skills. “I’ve never had to defend our relationship before,” he grumbled as he finished off his eggs, moving the empty plate over and starting on his waffle. He picked up the syrup and drenched his waffle, smearing around the warm butter. Michael shrugged and took another bite of his eggs. “Didn’t really have to defend it, but that definitely was kinda awkward. I don’t think she’d say those things to a straight couple,” he mused, and Jeremy agreed. 

They continued eating, only interrupted by the waitress’ frequent visits. She had gotten Jeremy some more hot chocolate at some point, which Jeremy knew he’d finish just as quickly as the first. Michael grabbed some jelly and opened the small container. “These are cute. I want a Nutella one,” he said, transferring the jelly from the container to his toast. 

Jeremy smiled. “They have those, remember? Don’t you remember the summer camp thing we went to?” he reminded Michael, who nodded quickly and set the knife down. “Oh yeah,” Michael recalled in awe. “So good.” 

Michael bit into his toast and looked past Jeremy at a table behind him. Wait, was that Mr. Heere? “Fuck,” he said, recognizing the bald patch and the fine, balding hair. Jeremy furrowed his brow and followed Michael’s gaze, almost choking when he saw his dad. “Oh my God, hurry up and eat,” he squeaked, turning around and eating his waffle with newfound motivation. The waitress decided to return just then, a wide smile plastered on her face. “How’s it going? Refills? Dessert?” 

Jeremy pointed at Michael, whose gaze shifted to the waitress. “Box?” 

“One or two? Do you live together?”

”One,” Michael urged, not commenting on the last part of the sentence. The waitress nodded and walked off, leaving Michael and Jeremy to devour as much as they could before the box came. Michael’s eyes constantly wandered up to Mr. Heere. Surely he had heard them at some point, but it was still really awkward. Why was he even at Waffle House? Wasn’t there a different breakfast place he could’ve gone to? Or couldn’t he have just eaten cereal at home? 

The waitress returned with a box and a bag, but also with a check. “Thanks for comin’, boys. You’re really cute! Just be you. I’ll take you at the register when you’re ready!” With that, she left for the last time, and Michael feverishly opened the box and poured what was left of his toast and hash browns in. Jeremy followed suit, though he didn’t have as much left over as Michael. Wait, how?

He chugged the rest of his hot chocolate, looked at Michael’s empty mug, and the two walked swiftly up to the register. Thank God it was on the opposite side of the restaurant than Mr. Heere. 

Their server grinned as Michael pulled out his wallet to pay, leaving a generous tip and telling her to keep the change. He was too awkward and too in a rush to wait for her to make change. 

With that, Jeremy and Michael were out the door. They shuffled to Jeremy’s car and got in, taking a breath as they did so. “Holy shit,” Jeremy breathed, box on his lap. “What are the odds?” 

Michael shook his head and shoved the key into the ignition, turning over the engine and buckling his seat belt. “Pretty high,” he replied irritably, pulling the car into reverse. Damn, he really didn’t want to chance running into Mr. Heere again.

———

Jeremy shakily grabbed onto the rink wall, his grip so tight that his knuckles turned white. Michael skated past him, middle fingers and tongue out, and winked. Jeremy groaned as he inched forward. He wasn’t kidding when he had said that he was awful at skating; it just wasn’t something he had ever been great at. However, he enjoyed the aesthetic of the retro skates that the rink lent out and the weird rubber smell that loomed over the skaters. Maybe it was too early in the morning, but there were only a few other people beside him and Michael. 

“C’mon, slow poke, I’ll hold your hand,” Michael teased as he skated back to Jeremy, stopping himself short of ramming into the smaller boy. Jeremy’s face reddened as he stuck out a reluctant hand. He didn’t want any more questions about their relationship from strangers. 

Michael snickered and pulled Jeremy away from the wall forcibly, causing Jeremy to screech and lose his balance. However, Michael pulled Jeremy close and grabbed onto his elbows, steadying him and pulling him back up to his feet. “Jere, I know you can do better than this. It hasn’t been _that_ long since we’ve skated,” Michael stated, but Jeremy shook his head. “No, actually, it has been,” he replied, still embarrassed. Michael laughed and skated backwards, watched Jeremy’s feet as they slid forward and backward. He was a mess. 

“Left, right, left, right, push yourself,” Michael instructed, and Jeremy scowled. “How the fuck do I push myself, Michael? They’re _wheels_!” he sneered, and Michael snorted. “With what little body strength and weight you have. C’mon, keep up. You look cute,” he encouraged, and Jeremy’s blush returned. Stupid Michael.

He did his best to lean forward, but his ankles really started hurting. “Why don’t you skate and I watch you from our table?” Jeremy suggested hopefully, but Michael shook his head. “No way! I paid for two pairs of skates. I’m getting my money’s worth. Being a sugar daddy is hard work,” Michael joked, wordlessly picking up speed. Apparently Jeremy didn’t notice, but his movements were getting less jerky. 

“Wow, jeez, sorry babe. Didn’t realize that I was such a burden,” Jeremy retorted, to which Michael leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Maybe, but it’s worth it. The sex gets better and better and I get kisses from time to time.”

At that, Jeremy laughed and started skating on his own. He didn’t even realize it, but Michael did and smiled proudly. He carefully let go of Jeremy’s arms, and Jeremy lurched forward, but caught himself this time. “H-Hey! I’m doing it!” Jeremy exclaimed, squatting and giggling. Michael nodded and skated ahead, backwards, then forward, then backwards again. He was pretty damn good at skating. Jeremy watched him in amazement, not paying attention to where he was going. As Michael turned a corner, Jeremy watched, then crashed into the wall and fell onto his butt, his head slamming against the wooden floor. 

“Ouch! God!” Jeremy yelped, falling backwards and looking up at the ceiling. Michael looked back and saw Jeremy on the floor, just laying there. He snickered and turned himself around, skating to Jeremy’s side and squatting down. “Poor Jere-Bear,” he pouted, kissing Jeremy’s forehead. “You okay?” 

Jeremy’s head started hurting. He thought he could make out a faint voice. Michael’s? 

**_J-eremy._ **

Not Michael. 

He looked up through tearful eyes and saw Michael smiling at him, saying something. He couldn’t hear him. 

**_Jeremy Heere._ **

Jeremy sniffled and smiled back at Michael, who was laughing. What was so funny? He could start making out some noise past the crackling, high-pitched ringing in his ears. 

**_Jeremy, d-on’t ignore..._ **

”–your ass must hurt more than usual,” Michael was saying as he pulled Jeremy into a sitting position. A pair of skaters zoomed past them. The ringing wouldn’t stop. 

“I need to fall again,” Jeremy tried to say, but he couldn’t hear himself. He assumed that he had fucked something up in his head, like the SQUIP or something. Michael gave him a weird look and noticed that he was crying. 

**_Sto-p crying, Jeremy. You lo-ok like an idiot._ **

Jeremy let Michael help him to his feet, then pushed him away and tried to skate around him. Michael scoot over a foot and grabbed Jeremy. What had gotten into him? The ringing in Jeremy’s ears got even louder, and his headache felt like it was tearing his head apart. 

“Michael, stop!”

He didn’t open his eyes, but he felt Michael’s grip loosen slightly. Jeremy couldn’t hear anything anymore, anything except for the SQUIP. 

 ** _Jere-my, your relationship is fa-alling apart_** , the SQUIP’s voice was loud and made Jeremy shudder. _Fuck off, stop._

**_Mi-ichael..._ **

Jeremy shoved Michael hard, who fell backwards, and then skated around him and opened his eyes to find a wall. It was easier to accidentally crash, but when he had to do it on purpose, it was a whole lot harder. He held his hands up instinctively as he crashed into the rink wall, falling backwards again and slamming his head into the ground. The ringing stopped and his head started to spin. 

Shit, maybe he had hit his head too hard. 

Jeremy opened his eyes and saw Michael over him again, along with a random man and who must have been his daughter. God, this was so fucking embarrassing. 

“I got him, it’s okay, uh, thank you for your concern...” Michael was rambling to the man, who nodded and took his daughter away. Michael looked back at Jeremy, worry lining his features, and that’s all Jeremy saw before everything went black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the delay! i’ve been babysitting, working on a yearbook, and dealing w writer’s block. this story is probably getting boring, but i gotta spice it up ;) 
> 
> xofaith


	26. Chapter 26

“He’s fine, he’ll be fine,” a voice said distantly, and Jeremy groaned, wincing when his back pinched and his head started pounding. God, where was he?

Jeremy felt someone squeeze his hand, which made him feel safe and at home. He wasn’t at home. “Mph,” he murmured, and the grip on his hand tightened. Jeremy’s eyes fluttered open and he saw a soft outline of a tall boy over him. “Dad?” he asked quietly, and then the grip loosened. 

“N-No, Michael,” the person said, and Jeremy felt them kiss his head. Michael? 

His eyes shot open and he withdrew his hand quickly. The boy looked familiar, but Jeremy couldn’t tell. He looked around and saw that he was in a hospital room. 

Skating rink. Head.

”TGA,” said a nurse who was changing Jeremy’s IV bag. “Transient global amnesia. It’ll probably resolve itself within a day, but until then, he probably won’t be able to create new memories. He must’ve hit his head pretty hard. We’ll be needing his insurance information and his guardian’s contact information.” The tall boy looked frantic and exhausted. 

Wait, where was Jeremy again? 

“Y-Yeah, right, uh, I’ve never ha-ad to do this before,” the boy told the nurse, who nodded and finished whatever she was doing. She set a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “It’s okay. I’ll send someone up here to help. Oh, he’s awake,” she consoled, and Michael nodded, looking back to Jeremy. 

The nurse left Michael and Jeremy alone. “God, are you okay?” the boy asked nervously, worry flooding his face, his breath coming in quick, short beats. Jeremy groaned and furrowed his brow. “I’m sorry, where am I? Who are you?” 

Michael felt his stomach turn over, and his heart skipped a beat. _This is temporary. This is temporary. This is temporary._

“Jere, you’re at a hospital. You fell while we were skating and hit your head really fucking hard. You’re lucky you didn’t get a concussion,” he scolded, like he was mad at Jeremy. Jeremy did remember falling and hitting his head, skating with this boy who seemed familiar but whose name he couldn’t remember. “Where’s my mom? Where’s my dad? Why are you the only one here? Who are you?” Jeremy urged, nearing tears. 

Michael bit his lip and told himself he needed to be patient. “I... I’m Michael, I’m your boyfriend. The lady told me this should wear off before the day is over, but that you’d remember things like your name and age and where you live. But how do you not know me? Am I not part of your identity? Your dad is gonna be on his way,” he explained slowly, and Jeremy nodded, even though it’d go in one ear and out the other. 

Skating rink. Head trauma. Memory loss. Boyfriend? 

“Boyfriend?”

”Boyfriend.”

Michael grabbed Jeremy’s hand, kissed his jaw, and stood up. “It’s gonna be okay. I’ll call your dad.” He walked off and left Jeremy to stare blankly at the wall in front of him. Jeremy brought a hand up to his head and almost screamed when he felt the tender bump on his forehead through the wrapping. There was a bandage wrapped around his head, but that didn’t help how sore he felt. Skating rink. Head trauma. Memory loss. 

Wait, he was in a hospital. 

Jeremy looked down at his hands, which were covered in small bruises and nail marks. How had he done that? 

“Yeah, no, I’m sorry to call. Yes, we saw you at Waffle House. Okay, yeah, no, it’s our fault. I’m not calling to apologize, but I’m really sorry. I need you to get to the hospital. Yes, the one by the car rental place. Jeremy hit his head really hard and has translucent global anesthetic. No, yeah, transient global amnesia. Hurry up, please. He doesn’t remember me or his mom leaving, and I don’t know what to do because the nurse just left me with him. Okay, yeah. See you too. Love you. Bye,” Jeremy overheard the hushed, terrified, seemingly one-sided conversation. 

Waffle House? 

Michael returned with a red face and shaking body. “Jeremy, how’s your head?” Michael muttered, and Jeremy brought his hand up to his head. Fuck, that really hurt. 

“Not great,” Jeremy grumbled, his voice cracking slightly. Hospital.

A nurse returned with a clipboard and looked at the heart monitor. He scribbled something down and looked from Michael to Jeremy. “Brother?” 

“Boyfriend.”

He nodded and scribbled something else down. “Is his guardian on the way? We’ll be needing some insurance information. How are you feeling, Mr. Heere?” Jeremy looked from Michael to the nurse. Hospital. Skating rink. Headache. 

“Uh, okay,” he replied shallowly, shifting his gaze to an open window. Michael sniffles quietly and looked down at the nurse. “I, um, he doesn’t remember me. I’ve been his best friend for over twelve years. The other nurse said he’d remember stuff about his identity, but am I not a part of that? He doesn’t remember his mom leaving, either.” 

The nurse tapped his pen thoughtfully against the clipboard. “There are no two memory loss cases that are the exact same,” he told Michael gently and with a fake smile. “It could do with where he hit his head, how hard he hit it... TGA isn’t the most common form of memory loss, especially when it comes to head trauma, but as the other nurse probably told you, he won’t be able to form new memories for up to a day. After that, he’ll remember everything up until the accident. Most likely, he won’t remember this hospital visit or anything that happens before the amnesia resolves itself. We don’t know everything about memory, so TGA is the closest diagnosis we’ll get.” 

Michael tried to process the information, but everything was happening too fast. They had woken up happy and in love and having a hangover high. They went to Waffle House. They were skating and having a great time. Why did Jeremy hit his head _twice_? His breath hitched as he remembered the hatred in Jeremy’s voice when he had told Michael to move. 

“Uh, yeah,” Michael gulped, still lost. “Yeah. His dad will be here in a few minutes.” The nurse nodded and gripped Michael’s arm. Jeremy watched from the bed. Why did he feel jealous? 

“It’s going to be alright. Things could be worse! He’s lucky that he only split his skin on his forehead slightly and has a huge, swollen bump on the back of his head. He’s still alive and he’ll come out of it in less than a day. Things could be permanent,” the nurse assured Michael, who wasn’t really listening but nodded anyways. The nurse left the room after shooting Jeremy a sincere grin. Michael turned his attention back to Jeremy, who was glaring at him. 

“What?”

Jeremy blinked and softened his face. Why was he glaring? “N-Nothing,” he responded, looking back at his hands. “Did I hurt my hands?” Michael furrowed his brow and returned to Jeremy’s side, sinking into the uncomfortable chair next to the bed. He took Jeremy’s hands into his own, examining them and feeling a pang of guilt. Michael guessed that he had been squeezing the life out of Jeremy’s hand the entire ride to the hospital, resulting in broken skin in the shape of his fingernails and bruises the size of his fingertips. Oops. 

“Sorry,” Michael apologized, biting the inside of his cheek. Jeremy gave him a confused look and took his hands back. Who was this guy? 

Michael noticed the uncomfortable shift and reached for Jeremy’s hands again. “Michael, your boyfriend.” Jeremy nodded but gave him a concerned look. “I’m not gay.” Michael shook his head and kissed Jeremy softly. Shit, maybe he wasn’t gay, but that felt good. 

“You’re bisexual,” Michael reminded him, knowing that he’d probably have to do so throughout the day. 

This was going to be absolutely awful for Michael’s confidence. 

———

“Is he okay? Does he remember me? Oh, Michael, I miss seeing you around the house. I shouldn’t have kicked you boys out,” Mr. Heere rambled as he burst through the door, the male nurse with the clipboard walking slowly behind him. Michael sat by Jeremy’s bed, holding Jeremy’s hand, who had fallen asleep. “Yeah, he’s fine,” Michael mumbled, running his thumb along Jeremy’s knuckle. 

Mr. Heere rushed to the other side of Jeremy’s bed, almost tripping over a tube. “What’s that? How’d he hit his head? Does he have stitches?” The nurse followed Mr. Heere and looked at Jeremy’s heart monitor, scribbling something down. “He’s fine, Mr. Heere. I’ll be needing some information from you after Michael here fills you in,” the nurse reminded him, and Mr. Heere shooed him away. 

“We were skating and he fell. He hit his head on the wall, then fell back and hit his head on the ground. Then he got up and he was acting... weird,” Michael recalled, voice faltering. “He said he needed to fall again. I was talking and he was acting like he couldn’t hear me. He pushed me over and ran into another wall, harder, and slammed his head against the ground.” Mr. Heere nodded, confused. “Okay... so what about his memory?”

The nurse decided that it was his turn to talk. “Transient global amnesia,” he repeated. “Triggered by mild head injuries. He’s lucky he didn’t get a concussion or a worse form of memory loss. He won’t be able to retain new information for up to a day, but judging by his current rate of recovery, I’m sure it’ll be within twelve hours. He remembers things about his identity, like his name and age and where he lives. However, amnesia isn’t concrete; we learn new things every day.” 

Mr. Heere nodded and looked at Jeremy. “Okay, uh, Michael? Stay with Jere. I’ll go fill out some paperwork or whatever and find out when we can take him home.” Michael nodded and watched Mr. Heere leave the room with the nurse. His glance shifted to Jeremy’s sleeping face. Thank God it was a day where Jeremy had recovered from their high quickly, and that the hospital hadn’t asked for a urine sample. They’d both be screwed, because Michael wasn’t supposed to share his medicinal marijuana with other people. 

Jeremy’s chest rose and fell, his breath soft and steady. Michael brushed his fingers along Jeremy’s bandage, blaming himself for this. He shouldn’t have let Jeremy skate by himself. Actually, he shouldn’t have taken Jeremy to the rink anyways. He knew that Jeremy couldn’t skate to save his life, so why had he? 

Michael’s thoughts raced as he held Jeremy’s hand and stared blankly at his sleeping boyfriend. Why wasn’t he part of Jeremy’s identity? Why couldn’t he remember who he was? Why didn’t he remember his mom leaving? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops short chapter that makes no sense bc I don’t know shit about memory loss?? you bet 
> 
> follow me on insta i post musical memes and sometimes my art ;)) @heereandqueere 
> 
> xofaith


	27. Chapter 27

Jeremy was discharged from the hospital with a high dosage of pain medication and instructions on how to wrap his head after showers. Of course he didn’t remember anything the nurses had told him, but Michael did, and that’s the only person who really needed to. 

“I think I should take him home and you can see him tomorrow,” Mr. Heere told Michael, who was holding Jeremy’s hand and leading him to Mr. Heere’s car. Michael frowned and shuddered against the cold wind. “With all due respect, I wanna stay with him. I know he doesn’t remember me but I want to be there when he does. I want to make sure he’s okay,” Michael pleaded, and Mr. Heere decided that there was no use trying to get Michael to stay away. Jeremy looked back at Michael’s hand, which was gripped tightly around his. Where the fuck was he? Who was this guy? 

Mr. Heere gave Jeremy a stern look and opened his car door. “Fine, but you’ll have to drive yourself to the house. I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave the car here,” Mr. Heere compromised, and Michael helped Jeremy into the passenger seat. “Alright. Jere? Boyfriend Michael, here. Love you. Do you want anything from McDonald’s? I’m stopping on the way home,” Michael asked, and Jeremy’s stomach growled. Shit, he was hungry. 

“Food,” he said simply, and Michael took a guess at what he would want anyways. 

Michael kissed Jeremy and shut the door, then looked at Mr. Heere, who was standing behind him. “I just want to apologize for the other night. I overstepped and I should’ve just let it go. You and Jeremy’s relationship was improving and I–“

Mr. Heere held up a hand and ruffled Michael’s hair. “Michael, it’s fine. I shouldn’t have fought with Jeremy, and I should’ve been more polite to Ms. Canigula. That being said, I’m content with my current relationship status. I don’t need the added responsibility; my children are already enough trouble as is. Next time you want to make amends, just don’t end up at a hospital.”

Michael smirked and nodded. “Deal,” he replied softly, and looked at Jeremy one more time before returning to Jeremy’s car, which was parked at the Emergency Room lot. 

———

“Just because your head hurts doesn’t mean that you don’t have to eat your broccoli, Jere. No, don’t fight me on this. You like broccoli, what’s gotten into you?” Mr. Heere’s voice came from the kitchen as Michael kicked open the door, food bags in his hands. “Dinner!” he called, and Mr. Heere made an irritated noise. 

“Mom?” yelled Jeremy.

”Do I sound like your mom, Jeremy?” 

Silence. 

Michael closed the door behind him with his foot and joined the Heere family in the kitchen. “Who are you?” Jeremy asked nervously, and Michael frowned slightly. Some part of him had foolishly thought that Jeremy would remember him by then. “Michael, your boyfriend. We’ve been best friends for over twelve years.”

Skating rink. Head trauma. Hospital. Boyfriend. 

“Boyfriend? I’m straight,” Jeremy insisted, but he sounded like a broken record to Michael. “You’re bisexual,” he said simply, kissing Jeremy and setting a bag in front of him. 

Jeremy shrugged and opened the bag. “Beats broccoli. Dad, when’s mom coming home? Is she working late?” Mr. Heere groaned. Jeremy had asked that question at least three dozen times. “Sure,” he replied, figuring that Jeremy would forget anyways. He shot Michael a dirty look. “He needs to eat healthier. Clearly something is messed up in his head if he hits his head twice, once on purpose, and passes out.” 

Michael shrugged and made a show of taking a French fry out of a bag and shoving it into his mouth slowly. “Mm,” he moaned, and Mr. Heere shook a fork at him. “Keep it up and I’ll kick you out again.” 

Jeremy stared at his chicken nuggets. Good shit. “Thanks for dinner,” he said, not really knowing who he was directing it towards. Michael nodded and kissed his forehead, then began eating his own food. Family dinner as it should’ve been. “So I was thinking that I can take care of Jeremy’s head until he can. Probably after he can too because I love him and like playing nurse,” Michael mused, winking at Jeremy. Of course he wouldn’t get the insinuation, but it was a good one. 

“You’re not going to let him stay in the house to recover, are you?” Mr. Heere asked, peering into the bag that Michael had set in front of him. Michael shook his head and took a bite of his burger. “Nah. My house is bigger and he likes it more. Plus, all of his stuff is there. We have to do laundry. Hope you don’t mind. You know I’ll take good care of him,” Michael promised, and Mr. Heere sighed. It felt like he rarely saw Jeremy and Michael, which saddened him, but at least they had each other. 

“Sure, fine,” he huffed, continuing his meal. “Just try to come over for dinner at least once. No weird yelling this time.” Michael almost choked as he realized that Mr. Heere still didn’t know about the SQUIP or anything that had happened that day. 

Neither did Jeremy, probably. 

Speaking of, Jeremy noticed that he had a pounding headache. He could swear that he heard a crackling noise, but it was probably just because he had hit his head. 

**_Jer-emy._ **

Jeremy jumped and dropped his chicken nugget, then brought his hand up to his head. Why did his thinking voice sound like Keanu Reeves? 

**_You hit y-our head pretty hard._ **

Jeremy squinted at his food in confusion. Where the fuck was this voice coming from? 

Michael looked up at Jeremy, who was holding his head. Was he okay? 

**_I would help you recall lost information, bu-u-ut I’m too weak._ **

“Is someone talking to me?” Jeremy asked, looking from a boy that was sitting with him to his dad. The boy’s glare became more and more anxious. “N-No, uh, what do you hear?” 

**_Pla-ay it off._ **

Jeremy decided that the voice in his head had his best interests at heart, so he shook off the question and continued eating. Michael looked at Mr. Heere and stood up, shuffling over to the fridge. He poured out a small cup of red Mountain Dew and set it in front of Jeremy. “It’ll make your head feel better,” Michael promised, and Jeremy looked up at the boy, confused. Okay? 

He drank from the cup and felt the static that seemed to fill his ears fade. His headache went away, though his head still hurt from hitting it. “Who are you?”

”Michael. Boyfriend. Love you.” 

“I’m–“

”–bisexual and in love with him,” finished Mr. Heere, pointing to Michael. Jeremy nodded and felt frustrated. It seemed like his dad and Michael had rehearsed this a few times. He had lost his memory, but wasn’t sure how long it’d last. 

“Alright, boys. I’m out for the night,” Mr. Heere announced, picking up his trash and throwing it into the can next to the island. “Don’t stay up late. Jeremy will probably wake up with his memory back to normal, Michael. Make sure he remembers how to brush his teeth and stuff.” Michael nodded and finished his burger as Mr. Heere put a hand on his shoulder. “Thanks again,” he said quietly, and waved at Jeremy. 

“Night, soldier.”

With that, Jeremy’s dad retired to his room for the night, leaving Jeremy and Michael to finish their food. “You still hungry?” Michael asked Jeremy, who had already forgotten who Michael was and why he was in his kitchen. He decided not to ask and just roll with it. 

Jeremy shook his head and put his trash in the trash can, then started to walk off. Michael swallowed and lunged to grab Jeremy’s arm, causing him to flinch and try to pull away. “What the fuck, man? Who are you?” Jeremy asked, like he was disgusted. It broke Michael’s heart. 

Temporary. 

“Michael. Boyfriend. You’re bisexual.”

Michael picked up his trash and threw it out, then led Jeremy to his bedroom so that he could change into pajamas. Michael took out a pajama shirt that he kept at Jeremy’s for whenever he stayed over and gave it to Jeremy, who turned around to dress so that this stranger wouldn’t see him. He pulled his shirt over his head and put on the sweater, guessing that it was his because it was in his drawer. 

He turned around and saw Michael take off his shirt. Shit, Jeremy was straight, but this guy was really fucking cute. 

Michael blushed when he saw Jeremy staring and smiled. “Like what you see?” he asked suggestively, but then remembered that he shouldn’t try anything when Jeremy’s working and short-term memory was, well, not working. He turned back around and stepped out of his pants, throwing them into Jeremy’s laundry hamper. He just wanted Jeremy to wake up the next morning and remember him and love him and for everything to be normal. 

Jeremy shook away his thoughts and walked to the door, but then remembered that he really couldn’t remember exactly where the bathroom was. Michael looked up and grabbed Jeremy’s hand, leading him to the bathroom so they he could brush his teeth. 

“Michael. Your boyfriend. No, you’re not straight. I love you.” 

Skating. Head trauma. Hospital. Memory loss. Michael. 

Jeremy reached for a toothbrush that was sitting in the cup on the bathroom counter, but Michael took it out of his hand and replaced it with the other one. Jeremy had taken Michael’s. Jeremy gave him a weird look, but just continued brushing his teeth as normal. He looked in the mirror and frowned at his acne. Why were there so many huge zits and small white heads? Why did he have so much scarring? 

Michael brushed his teeth beside Jeremy and watched as Jeremy inspected his face. That reminded Michael of the skincare regimen that he and Jeremy followed every night, though it only really worked for Michael. It kept Jeremy’s face clean, but it didn’t do much for his acne. 

Toothbrush in mouth, Michael bent down to get the bottles from the bottom of the cabinet, coming up to have Jeremy looking at him. “Why are you in my bathroom?” he asked nervously, glancing from Michael to the face wash bottles. 

“Michael. Boyfriend.”

”I’m–“

”–not straight. Love you.”

Jeremy nodded and looked back at the mirror. He spit out his toothpaste and rinsed off his brush, then put it back. “Let me wash your face,” Michael said, and Jeremy nodded. Michael. Boyfriend. “Love you,” Jeremy tried. It rolled off his tongue with ease.

Michael’s heart fluttered as he set Jeremy down on the side of the bathtub, sitting down on the toilet seat cover and squirting out some of the first step of the face wash onto his fingertips. “What happened to you?” Michael asked sadly as he looked at Jeremy’s bandage, which he was supposed to change before bed. 

“Fell,” Jeremy said simply, any memory he had of Michael’s identity fading. Michael nodded and took Jeremy’s face in his hands, rubbing the face wash in small circles. “I’d say. I just want to know why you fell the second time,” Michael commented quietly, pushing Jeremy’s hair back with a free finger. Jeremy tried to recall the situation, remembering that he had heard a voice in his head and wanted it to stop. He remembered the awful ringing and the terrible headache. “There was a voice in my head. Needed to get it out,” Jeremy tried, but he couldn’t remember what the voice was or what it had said. He could remember the accident, but not exactly. Just vague details. 

Michael stopped rubbing in the soap. His heart stopped. “V-Voice?” Had the SQUIP reactivated because Jeremy hit his head? Jeremy gave him a confused look. 

“Who are you? What?”

”Michael. Boyfriend. You’re not straight. You were telling me you heard a voice when you hit your head.”

Jeremy nodded and thought back again, the entire situation replaying in his head. “Yeah, uh, I crashed once. I hit my head. Something was loud and crackling and sounded like static, then I hit my head again thinking that it’d get rid of the awful headache. I could kinda hear the voice, and it was all I could hear,” he remembered, watching as Michael took a washcloth down from the hand towel rack and poured water over it. 

So what Michael was understanding was that Jeremy had hit his head once, probably fucking up the SQUIP’s chip or something. He hit his head again so that it’d stop ringing in his ears. The thought saddened him a great deal.

Michael didn’t say anything else as he wiped the face wash off of Jeremy’s face, then moved on to step two, then step three. He repeated the process on himself, watching Jeremy in the reflection as he stared emotionlessly at him. The sight made Michael feel sick to his stomach. He just wanted his boyfriend back. The most heartbreaking thing about watching Jeremy was that when Michael would remind him of who he was, he’d look like he remembered something, then a few seconds later, the expression would leave his face and he’d be confused again. It reminded Michael of when Jeremy made the choice to block him from his vision. The blank expression. The lack of emotion. 

“Bed,” Michael told Jeremy as he grabbed his arm and pulled him up, kissing his forehead and taking him back to the room. 

Michael decided that it’d be best if Jeremy went to sleep first, and then he’d get in bed with him so that Jeremy wouldn’t get scared of the “stranger” he was sleeping with. Jeremy crawled into bed and under the covers. Michael watched as it seemed like Jeremy fell asleep as soon as he hit the mattress. It was sweet. 

Jeremy’s breathing softened and steadied as he fell asleep, making Michael feel hopeful and appreciative. He’d never take Jeremy for granted ever again, a promise that he seemed to make to himself constantly and break nevertheless. 

———

“Michael?”

Michael’s eyes flew open, and he realized with a sinking feeling that he had fallen asleep in Jeremy’s desk chair. God, his neck aches and his back cracked loudly. 

Jeremy was sitting up in the bed, his hand on his head in confusion. “What happened?” Michael almost sobbed, jumping to his feet and lunging at his boyfriend. He embraced him, cradling him in his arms and wrapping his legs around his back. “God, Jeremy Heere, if you ever lose your memory of me again I may just die. That was the hardest, like, seven hours of my conscious life.”

Confused, Jeremy brought his arms around Michael, breathing in his scent and sighing in relief. Forget Michael? He could never. “Fill me in, Micah. What do you mean I forgot you?” 

Michael pulled back at looked at Jeremy sadly. Right, the nurse had told Michael that Jeremy probably wouldn’t remember anything about his accident or losing his memory. “Shit dude, buckle up. It’s a bumpy ride.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: can’t go two chapters with conflict without resolving it 
> 
> lmao when will i end this fic it’s my baby i want it to grow :,))
> 
> alSO SO MUCH LOVE YALL THIS IS ALMOST AT 1000 HITS FMU
> 
> xofaith


	28. Chapter 28

Jeremy tried to listen to Michael as he explained what had happened. His head really hurt and his heart seemed to pound in his ears. He was just in an overall uncomfortable state of being. 

“–and then you asked me who I was for like the hundredth time. It broke my heart, Jeremy! I thought that I was gonna die,” Michael whined, sitting in Jeremy’s lap and running his thumbs along his boyriend’s jawline. Jeremy nodded absently and kissed Michael softly. “I can’t believe I didn’t remember you. You’re everything I am and it makes me feel absolutely awful that I couldn’t remember my best friend. Boyfriend,” he murmured, and Michael smiled. “Hey, it’s fine,” he assured Jeremy, holding his head up. “The thing is, you’re here now and you can remember me and you love me. I love you.”

”I love you more.”

Michael kissed him passionately, forgetting that Jeremy had a head injury, pushing him back into the bed and planting small kisses down the side of his face. Jeremy giggled and pulled Michael down, kissing his cheekbone and remembering how in love he was with Michael. Everything still seemed so new, but if it was with Michael, it didn’t matter, because time stood still when he was with his best friend. Boyfriend. 

Jeremy parted his lips and let himself melt into the kiss, missing the feeling and just wanting to be with Michael forever. Just then, Mr. Heere threw open the door and stared at the two, who flew apart as soon as they heard the knob turn. Neither of them were all that embarrassed, but Mr. Heere seemed incredibly flustered. “Oh, uh, s-sorry, I, uh, see that Jeremy has his memory back?” he stammered, and Michael chuckled softly. 

“Obviously.”

Mr. Heere’s pink face disappeared back into the hallway, and Michael looked back down at Jeremy. “Later. Fuck, I forgot to change your bandage,” he remembered, grimacing at the thought of having to look at Jeremy’s head. “C’mon.” He pulled himself off of Jeremy and slid off the bed, and Jeremy followed him to the bathroom. Michael grabbed some wrap that the nurse had told him to buy from the cabinet and sat Jeremy down on the edge of the bathtub. 

“Okay, if it hurts, tell me,” Michael eased, and Jeremy snorted. “I’m not a virgin, I can take it, _Daddy_.” Michael choked and got really red. “Y-Yeah, okay, too early for this,” he replied, flustered. 

Michael undid the bandage clips on the elastic bandage around Jeremy’s head, trying to remember exactly how the nurse had instructed him to change the bandage. His hands shook as he started unwrapping it. “Uh, you okay?” Jeremy asked quietly, bringing a hand up to Michael’s cheek. Michael swallowed and nodded, taking the bandage off and setting it aside. 

“I, um, I’m a noob at this. Bear with me,” he apologized, and Jeremy smiled sweetly. “Hey, I’m sure you’ll do just fine. Stop being so dramatic,” he teased, and Michael chuckled. 

He looked at the split on Jeremy’s forehead, which was probably from the second time he hit his head. He remembered it bleeding and bleeding, only stopping when Michael held his hand over it. God, the memory made him shudder. It didn’t look too awful and didn’t require stitching, but Michael didn’t really even know what they did to the wound. They didn’t let Michael into Jeremy’s room until they deemed it safe. 

Jeremy cleared his throat pointedly, and Michael snapped out of his recollection. “Oops. Let’s, uh, let’s do this,” he muttered, picking up the roll of elastic bandage. Shakily, Michael pulled out a length of the bandage and put the end of it to Jeremy’s head. “Please let me know if it’s too tight. Don’t try to be tough, dummy.”

His boyfriend smiled and leaned up to kiss him. “I _am_ tough. I’m stronger than you,” Jeremy corrected him, and Michael started to wrap the bandage around his head. He snorted and shook his head. “Bull, Heere. You have two limp noodles as arms and two twigs for legs,” Michael pointed out, and Jeremy huffed. 

Michael adjusted the bandage and wrapped it around a few more times. He only had to do this one time, because the hospital had said that Jeremy’s injury wasn’t exactly serious or anything. After that, Jeremy would just have to wear a bandaid over the area and put an ice pack on the back of his head when the pain got unbearable. Medical stuff. Michael held the bandage in place as he reattached the bandage clips, then stood up to look at his work. 

“Thank, Doc,” Jeremy said with a smile, standing up with Michael and throwing his arms around his neck lazily. “Life-saving procedure.” Michael smirked and kissed the top of Jeremy’s head carefully. 

“Of course, Mr. Heere. Anything for my favorite patient.” 

The two left the bathroom and returned to Jeremy’s room so that they could get anything they needed before heading to Michael’s. This consisted of Jeremy’s sunglasses and three pairs of fuzzy socks that Michael decided belonged to him. “When we get a house together, we’ll have so many fluffy socks. No joke. I want an entire drawer full of them,” Michael informed Jeremy, a statement rather than a suggestion. Jeremy rolled his eyes and put on a pair of pants. “Fine, then we get to have a closet full of Michael hoodies that Jeremy wears.” 

Michael shrugged and got on some pants of his own. “Isn’t that our current life? You have like two of my hoodies in your closet that you think I don’t know about. I do. My hoodie collection may be a bit extensive, but each one deserves an equal amount of love.” 

Jeremy chuckled and walked over to his closet, pulling one of the said hoodies out. “I think I’ll wear it today.” It was an obnoxiously loud Bob Marley hoodie that Michael had bought when his dad took him on a cruise to the Bahamas. American tourists thrived on ignorance. “You’d look cuter in the cactus one, put that back,” Michael laughed, and Jeremy shrugged as he changed out the hoodies. If Michael said he’d look cuter in the other one, he’d better change. Michael smirked and put on his red hoodie with all those dumb patches all over it. He preached equality for all his hoodies, but he definitely loved this one more than the others. 

“So, what are we doing today?” Jeremy asked, his head aching slightly. Michael made a “hmph” noise and turned around. “Uh, laundry? Housework? Your favorite?” 

Jeremy squealed and clapped. He actually loved doing laundry. “Oh my God! Good day!” he replied, content with that answer. He fucking loved laundry. It was just so warm and relaxing and–

“Breakfast first. I say we waste more money on McDonald’s because it’s good and cheap,” Michael interrupted Jeremy’s thoughts, grabbing Jeremy’s keys and his own wallet from the desk. “Sausage burrito for me and hot cakes for my hot cake. Damn son, are you a bakery? You got some sweet buns.” Jeremy would never get tired of Michael’s shitty pick-up lines. Jeremy nodded wordlessly and walked out the door and to the kitchen. He saw his dad in the living room messing with a boat in a bottle, trying to pull the sail upright. 

Mr. Heere turned around to look at Jeremy, who was just staring at him like a weirdo. “Good morning?” he asked, shifting the bottle in his hands. Jeremy blinked and tried to think of what to say. Should he apologize? Should he ask if he could stay at Michael’s? Should he ask about Ms. Canigula? 

“Okay,” was the response that came out before he could really decide. It sounded incredibly insensitive. “I, uh, I’m sorry, I mean good morning. How, er, how are you?” he quickly recovered, and Mr. Heere gave him a weird look. 

“I’m okay. How’s your head? Going to Michael’s, yet?” he asked, and Michael came out of the hallway and set his head on Jeremy’s shoulder. Jeremy nodded and brought a hand up behind him and tangled his hand into Michael’s hair. “It’s fine. Micah wrapped it for me. So, boats in a bottle? New hobby?” he tried to make conversation, and Mr. Heere tugged at the string that was attached to the sail. “Uh, yeah. I took a class a week ago and decided to put my learning to use. Remember that it’s Sunday and you boys have school tomorrow. Don’t stay up too late. Don’t die before I see you again,” he responded weakly, and the boys slipped on their shoes before leaving. 

Before Jeremy left, he stopped in the doorway. “Bye, Dad,” he added. “Love you.” Mr. Heere paused and looked up at his son, emotional and a little confused. 

“Love you too, Jere.”

———

Jeremy sat on top of the dryer, legs crossed as he folded a sweater. The heat from the dryer warmed him up against the freezing cold temperature that Michael insisted his house be kept at despite the weather outside. Michael stood in front of him and folded a pair of pants. “I don’t get the appeal of laundry, Jere,” Michael mused, setting the pants on top of the washing machine. Jeremy rolled his eyes and shoved his face into the warm sweater. God, it was so warm. 

“You like making beds and organizing our lockers. Different people like different things,” Jeremy replied lightly, and Michael nodded understandably. Good point. 

“Good point.” 

The shorter boy nodded and reached down for another piece of clothing. They didn’t have much to fold, but Jeremy wanted to do the majority of the laundry. “I know, I’m smart. So what kind of weird shit did I say yesterday?” he asked, not really caring but part of his inability to recall Michael still bothered him a good deal.

Michael shrugged and leaned into the dryer to get a pair of boxers. “Mainly just asked who I was. It was funny because I’d say ‘Michael, your boyfriend,’ and you’d keep telling me you were straight. So I’d tell you that you were bisexual and you wouldn’t even question it. You also said something about the SQUIP talking to you and that you falling the second time was your attempt at making it stop.”

Jeremy froze up and stared at the laundry in his hands. He hit his head to stop the SQUIP from talking? Why would he try to stop it like that? He was so used to the faded voice, so it’s not like he’d hurt himself to make it stop. 

“I tried to make it stop by hurting myself? I don’t think so...” he replied uncertainly, then continued folding. Michael shrugged and then remembered that it wasn’t just the voice. “You said it was buzzing. Like, there was a static noise that wouldn’t stop. It’s all you could hear, you said,” Michael corrected himself, and Jeremy guessed he could understand that better. Of course he couldn’t remember the accident, but it sounded like it could be familiar. Michael had no reason to lie to him. 

They finished the load in a comfortable silence and brought the clothes to Michael’s room and down to the basement, which still smelled like weed. “I want the cops to come in here and bust your ass for eating weed in my good Christian suburbs,” Michael teased as Jeremy shoved a shirt into the drawer. He rolled his eyes and turned around. 

“Yeah, okay, except it’s not my house and you’re allowed to smoke it. I was forced to do drugs against my will,” Jeremy argued, and Michael clicked his tongue. Stupid dork. 

“Well I want to watch _Shrek_ until we fall asleep, so let’s hurry up and finish this shit. We’re not watching the third one because that one is fucking awful,” Michael stated, done with his portion of the laundry. Jeremy shook his head and pushed the drawer close. “I don’t wanna watch Shrek. Let’s make out and play video games. Or a board game,” he begged, shuffling over to Michael and leaning against him tiredly. Michael snorted and shrugged. “Fine. We never did finish that statue of Squidward in _Minecraft_. Or that Paul Blart mod that we never finished installing. I’m game,” he joked, and Jeremy shoved him and plopped down onto his beanbag. 

“If we play fucking _Minecraft_ , I’m gonna suck your twelve year old dick while you finish that fucking statue. You’re such a baby. Next thing you know, you’ll be playing _Roblox_.”

Michael laughed and grabbed his controllers from the TV stand and sat down next to Jeremy. “Be my guest. This dick ain’t gonna suck itself, baby boy,” he teased suggestively, and Jeremy swallowed hard. God, why did video games always lead to some gay shit? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowie this is heccin short just a filler chapter also ovER 1000 hits still can’t believe this shit I need a life!!
> 
> xofaith


	29. Chapter 29

“So how am I supposed to explain this to our friends?” Jeremy asked as he peered into the passenger mirror at his reflection, ghosting his bandage with his finger. Michael looked over a beat and then back at the road, swerving to avoid some asshole who had been driving over the dashed line. “I dunno, say you hit your head while I was fucking you.” 

Jeremy turned red and glared at Michael. “Michael! _Absolutely_ not!” he cried, deeply embarrassed. Also kind of turned on. What if he actually got hurt like this by Michael screwing him? 

Michael snorted and stuck his middle finger up at the driver who had almost hit him as the car passed, honking at Michael angrily. “Yeah, okay. The truth?” he suggested, though he personally liked the first explanation more. Jeremy looked back at the road blankly, but shook his head. “I... I can’t. I don’t want to. I can say that, like, I fell off the dryer or something,” he said hopelessly, and Michael really did try not to make a joke out of it.

”Because I was fucking you on the dryer?” 

Jeremy smacked the fuck out of Michael and started screaming hotly at him as Michael fell into bursts of laughter. “MICHAEL MELL, NO! THAT’S NOT APPROPRIATE! I’M A VIRGIN AND OUR FRIENDS DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT OUR SEX LIVES! I’M NOT DATING YOU ANYMORE!” Michael wiped tears from his eyes and kept laughing.

”You’re so cute when you get angry. Also, stop trying to open your door, ‘cause I turned the child safety locks on,” he mused, and Jeremy huffed irritably. Stupid Michael. 

———

Jeremy took a deep breath as he walked to his locker, spotting Rich at his own (without Jake, for once). He knew that Rich was probably the second nosiest friend he had, next to Jenna, so this would be a tough case. He casually strolled up to his locker and started flipping through his combinations. Suddenly, he heard Rich sniffle pointedly. Jeremy glanced down at Rich and saw that his face was bright red and stained with tears. 

“Holy shit, Rich! What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly, leaning down to prop Rich up so that he wasn’t slouching so much. Rich gazed up at him and started sobbing hysterically. “H-He-e-e bro-oke up-p with m-e-e!” he bawled, throwing his arms around Jeremy and sobbing into his – or Michael’s – hoodie. Jeremy awkwardly yanked his arms from Rich’s grip and set them around Rich’s shaking body. He tapped his back softly, unsure of what he was doing. “Uh... There, there, Rich. It’s okay,” Jeremy consoled, wondering why Jake would break up with Rich in the first place. They were so in love and just perfect together. What happened? 

Michael came in soon after Jeremy, since he had to take a call from his mother before class. He spotted Jeremy awkwardly holding Rich and ran over to see what was happening. “Hey, you – oh.”

”Yeah, ‘ _oh_ ,’ fix this,” Jeremy hissed, pushing Rich off of him and throwing him to Michael, who wrapped his arms around Rich’s waist as best as he could manage and pulled him close. “Why is he crying?” Michael mouthed, and Jeremy continued trying to open his locker. “Jake broke up with him.”

”Jake br-o-o-ke up with-th me!” Rich cried loudly, now into Michael’s chest. Michael rolled his eyes and huffed. Rich and Jake broke up all the time, over really stupid shit, too. They’d be back together by lunch. “Over what?” he asked insincerely, though he tried to make himself seem as genuine as possible. 

Rich pulled back, not letting his arms let go of Michael, and wiped his nose on his shirt sleeve. “W-We were driving to thchool an-nd I got upthet with him for wa-anting to thtop at a gath thtathion!” Rich hiccuped, sniffling every few words. Michael fought his hardest to not roll his eyes again. He frowned at Rich furrowed his brow. “Hon, it’s gonna be fine. Just take a breath and we’ll figure this out! Why don’t you talk things through with Jake, yeah?”

The shorter boy nodded shakily, wiped the corners of his eyes on Michael’s hoodie, then stood back. “Y-Yeah, okay. I think I’ll go thee him before gym thtart-th. If I’m late, tell Coat-th Levi that I’m thtuck in traffic. Thith ma-ay take thome time,” Rich reasoned, then smiled at the couple and pulled them down for a group hug. “Thankth, cutieth.” With that, he slammed his locker shut and skipped down the hallway to Jake’s first period. 

Michael and Jeremy watched in confusion. 

“So...” Jeremy started, turning back to face Michael. “What’d your mom want?” Michael opened his own locker and pulled out a protein bar. “Just saying that she was staying a few more nights because some of her friends live down there. Wherever that is. They’re gonna, like, get wasted or something. Don’t know. I didn’t tell her about your accident, by the way. She’d probably pass out on the spot,” Michael recounted, closing his locker. “Gym?” 

Jeremy groaned and fell against a closed locker, forgetting that he had a head injury. The contact made him scream shrilly, gaining attention from passerby’s and making him so embarrassed that he thought he was going to melt from the heat his face was generating. Michael snickered and leaned down to kiss his boyfriend’s forehead lightly. 

The two walked to the gym together, passing Christine on the way. She joined them and talked about this amazing theatre thing she was working on. Something about improv. Apparently her mom hadn’t told her about the date with Jeremy’s dad or anything, or maybe Christine was just too polite to bring it up. 

Michael let Christine and Jeremy nerd out over some show called “ _Whose Line Is It Anyway?_ “ and went to change into his gym clothes. The locker room was empty besides some random kid smoking behind a row of lockers, “out of sight.” Michael scoffed quietly and rolled his eyes at the kid’s lack of discretion. Jeremy came in not soon after Michael, gushing over the upcoming play that Michael was just excited to watch and embarrass his boyfriend at with his love and support. That was what he lived for.

”–but Mr. Reyes doesn’t think that I’m being very expressive. He says that I’m too stiff and too much of a stickler for how it’s written. Michael, I just wanna do it right!” Jeremy pouted, unaware of the smoking teen in the back of the room. Michael nodded like he understood what Jeremy was talking about. “I’m just confused,” Michael said, recalling the fact that they had definitely just had a play barely two months ago. “Didn’t you just have a play?”

Jeremy nodded and tilted his head. “Well, this is different. This is for the _class_ , for Drama Class.  It’s kinda mandatory but, like, it counts as a grade. That’s why we’ve been running _Romeo and Juliet_ lines. We’re doing _A Christmas Carol_ and we need that dramatic effect. We don’t need much time to rehearse, but we rehearse most class periods. We have rehearsal that I’ve actually been missing pretty frequently but have to attend from now on. You can, like, drive around and do shit while you wait.” It dawned on both Michael and Jeremy that them dating had definitely made them forget about Jeremy’s play and his practices that he hadn’t be attending. 

Well, shit.

”Hey, all I know is that you’re gonna be there. Aren’t you the lead?” Michael asked, and Jeremy frowned, shaking his head. “Uh, Mr. Reyes decided that after the last time I got to play the lead, I wouldn’t be allowed to anymore. He says that my talent is impeccable, but that he doesn’t want the school to almost be taken over by some computer again,” he replied sadly, but Michael planted a kiss into his hair and smiled softly. “It doesn’t matter,” he assured Jeremy, pushing a lock of hair out of his face. “What matters is that you’ll be in the play and that you’re going to be amazing at whatever role you're playing.”

The smoker kid coughed and took a drag. “Preach, brother,” he said hoarsely, and Michael groaned. That dude was why stoners had a bad name. 

Jeremy squinted at the student and shrugged. Typical locker room shit. Other students began streaming into the locker room, so Michael and Jeremy quickly changed and shoved their stuff into the small lockers that lined the wall. Michael took out his gym lock before locking up his bag, and Jeremy did the same. Last time Jeremy forgot, someone had taken his shirt and cut off the sleeves. Thank God Michael let him borrow his jacket. The time before, someone had taken a bite out of his deodorant. 

Why were high school boys so fucking weird?

“I bet Jake and Rich are back together,” Jeremy stated as they left the room and walked to the bleachers, their tennis shoes squeaking against the gym floor. Michael raised his eyebrows and shrugged. “Hell if I know. They’re probably fucking in the janitor’s closet by now.”

———

“Thorry I’m late, we were fucking in the janitor’th clothet,” Rich gasped, exasperated as he plopped down beside Michael on the bleachers. It had been what, twenty minutes? 

Jeremy winced and tried not to think about it. Good for them. 

“Doesn’t your ass hurt?” Michael asked, voice full of concern. Rich shrugged and looked down at Coach Levi, who was taking attendance silently for once. Gym coaches were big on attendance. “Yeah, but I’ve jutht gotten tho uthed to it. Jake’s long, but–“

Jeremy’s hand flew over Michael and to Rich’s mouth. “Do _not_ talk about your boyfriend’s dick, for the love of God. Please keep it to yourself. We’re happy that you’re dating,” he pleaded, and Rich shrugged. “Thuit yourthelf. I think it’th hot that I’m happy with my relathionthip, Jere. Maybe Michael would be happier if you were, too.” 

Michael shook his head and kissed Jeremy’s neck. “Nah, I love us. I’m happy with where we are, and I don’t have to talk about his dick every two seconds for everyone to know. That’s just a bonus.” Jeremy smacked him. Stupid Michael. 

Coach Levi made momentary eye contact with Jeremy and nodded, like he was insinuating something. It made Jeremy wildly uncomfortable. “Do you think that Coach Levi is a rapist? Or was a sex offender?” he asked Michael leaning against him and resting his head on his shoulder. Michael chuckled and nodded, kissing Jeremy’s head. “For sure. He probably sits on the bench at the park and watches little kids all day,” he agreed, and Rich decided to voice his agreement as well. 

“Well, lath-t week, I thaw him looking at my butt and I wath very contherned for hith mental well-being, but in all fairneth, I have a nithe ath,” he declared proudly, standing up to smack his ass in Jeremy’s face. This made Jeremy feel even more awkward than Coach Levi’s little eye sex thing. 

Christine joined the group at the bleachers when she finished changed into gym clothes. “What’s the buzz, bees?” she asked cheerfully, sitting down to Michael’s right and shoving herself between him and Rich. They did their little handshake thing and Jeremy asked her if she thought that Coach Levi was a sex offender. She thought on it momentarily. “Hm, maybe. I think I saw him looking at Rich’s glutes the other day,” Christine recalled, and Rich clapped his hands together loudly and lurched forward. 

“Thee! I told you guyth! It wathn’t juth-t me,” he cried, laughing hysterically. Christine gave him a weird look and shrugged, looking down at the coach. “May have just been a trick of the light, though. Jeremy, how are your lines going?” she asked, leaning forward to look around at Jeremy. 

Jeremy smiled and was ready to spill some fucking tea on his progress and complaints. “Well, it’s all great, but I haven’t been going to rehearsal, and I’m surprised that Mr. Reyes hasn’t killed me yet,” he admitted, and Christine nodded. “Oh, he’s come close. You play a pretty important character, but I think that he was talking about making you Jake’s understudy. And Jake sucks, to be honest, so I think you’ll end up taking the part! Even if you did almost destroy the school, Mr. Reyes loves you and thinks you’re so talented. Everyone does!” she told Jeremy, shooting him a supportive smile. 

Michael was a _little_ jealous that Christine and Jeremy had theatre to bond over, but Michael and Jeremy had a lot of other things to bond over. Michael couldn’t let a friendship make him feel guilty or jealous. That was just stupid. 

“Maybe! Has Jake been going to practice?” 

Christine sucked in some breath and leaned back against the bleacher behind her. “Well, he’s been so busy with all of his other clubs. He’s in, like, every single sport and club, so it’s rare that he has time to come to rehearsal. He rehearses in class like you, but I don’t think he remembers his lines. I’m glad that you decided to transfer to Drama, though. You make it interesting! I loved your take on Friar Laurence!” Jeremy beamed, even though Christine couldn’t see him. He was very insecure about his love of theatre, but ever since the play and the SQUIP thing, he had been feeling a lot more confident about it. 

“Thanks! Your Juliet was fair as ever,” Jeremy replied. “You always do a great job as her, but then again, you fit every character you end up playing. It’s mesmerizing.” 

Feeling out of place, Michael was glad when Coach Levi called for warm-up. Jeremy waved to Christine and joined Michael against a wall. “I’m glad that I’m friends with her. It’s fun to have a theatre friend to nerd out with,” Jeremy commented as he laid down on the ground, kicking his legs up against the wall for candlesticks. Michael smiled and nodded. “I’m glad that you are, too. As much as I enjoyed watching you date the girl of your dreams, I like you more as my boyfriend.” 

“ _You’re_ the girl of my dreams.” 

Michael got onto the ground next to Jeremy and followed suit. “Y’know, I really love you. This is romantic, huh? Us actually exercising, the smell of B.O. wafting through the air, screaming teenagers...” Michael teased, and Jeremy turned his head lazily to look at him. He giggled and kissed his ear. “For sure. Anywhere is romantic if I’m with you, babe,” Jeremy mocked, shifting so that his back was against the wall. Michael did the same, and they leaned over to stretch their backs. 

“Do you ever think about fucking in the locker room?” Jeremy asked absently, starting at Coach Levi as he looked at Rich failing at candlesticks. His legs were hanging over his head as he flailed his legs wildly. Michael thought for a second. It _would_ be hot to fuck Jeremy in the locker room but it smelled like smoke and sweat, so no thanks. However, having sex at that moment _did_ sound quite appealing. 

“Not the locker room, but maybe the janitor’s closet, like Rich and Jake,” Michael replied, switching to his other leg. Jeremy scrunched up his nose and shook his head. “No, not after _they_  used it. We gotta be more original than that,” he insisted, though he was just as horny as Michael was. He just wanted to fuck, especially since they had only had sex twice. He said “only” like two wasn’t a lot. 

Michael bit the inside of his cheek and brought his arm up to his chest to stretch it out. “I’ll make you a deal. Whatever we’re playing today, if I win, I pick when and where we have sex, including how. If you win, the same goes for you. Deal?” he suggested, and Jeremy turned the idea over in his head. Was there really a downside to this? Probably. “Fine, deal.”

Coach Levi blew his whistle at an opportune time and announced that they’d be playing scramble soccer again, especially since the last time they had played ended with disaster. Instead of soccer balls, though, footballs lined the center of the court, which made Jeremy feel lightheaded. He didn’t want to play scramble soccer, let alone scramble football soccer. Or whatever it was called. He gave Michael a concerned look, but was met by an excited, confident expression. 

“Looks like we’re getting kinky, huh?” Michael said happily, and Jeremy didn’t deny it. Things would probably be the same either way, just a change of location. Where would Michael even want to go? 

Teams lined up at the balls, and with a blow of Coach Levi’s whistle, they were off. Jeremy stuck his leg out uncertainly, rolling the ball back and almost falling over as it knocked him off balance. Michael caught him and took the ball, rolling it back and trying to kick it. The football went in the opposite direction of its intended destination. The boys were a mess of legs and flailing arms as they tried to move the ball away from the other. Every other team had a clear leader except for them, because their ball was just stuck. On a limb, Jeremy decided to kick it with newfound force, and the ball actually flew past Michael. Surprised, both of them turned to just look at the ball, then at each other, then back at the ball. 

Jeremy quickly ran to the ball and repeated his kick, Michael struggling to keep up with both Jeremy and the ball. Before they knew it, the football flew against the mats on the wall. He had actually won. 

“Oh my God! Oh my God!” Jeremy screamed, incredibly excited as he jumped up and down. “Oh my God! How did I win? I won? How? What the fuck!” Michael stood planted, dumbfounded. How did Jeremy the twink twig beat him? At _scramble soccer_? “Jere, I... What?” Michael stammered, and Jeremy jumped up to kiss him. He threw his arms around Michael’s neck. “Holy shit! It’s not even that I get to choose where we fuck, it’s that I actually won against you for one! At a sport! This is the greatest day of my life!” he squealed, and his enthusiasm warmed Michael’s heart. 

Jeremy Heere won at football scramble soccer and would choose where, when, and how they fucked. Lovely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god this is a long chapter w literally no plot line haha
> 
> also I can’t believe people are actually reading this and tHEN going to my instagram (@heereandqueere haha shameless self promo ;)) to tell me they like my writing?? 
> 
> I post musical memes and my shitty art pLEASE IM DESPERATE 
> 
> xofaith
> 
> ps this move and support is unbelievable okay I love you all <3


	30. Chapter 30

Jeremy tapped his pencil against his desk as he waited for third period to end. He was desperate to see his boyfriend again and tell him what he was thinking about, which had been a whole hell of a lot, honestly. 

He didn’t really like the responsibility of initiating things or deciding in advance how they’d have sex or where they would do it, but it gave him the opportunity to be as creative and imaginative as he could be. It was an absolute struggle, but it helped him become more comfortable with his kinks and conveying what he wanted. That being said, he didn’t have a concrete plan for the sex they’d have, but he did know he wanted to have it. 

That was progress, right? 

The bell rang for classes to switch, and Jeremy had never gotten out of his desk quicker. In a swift motion, he swooped up his bag and binder, bounding out the door before the teacher could hold him back for homework. He speed-walked down the hall to his locker, wishing that Michael were already there, and unlocked it. As he pushed his binder into the disorganized shelf of other binders, he closed his locker door, a smug-looking Michael gazing at him lovingly. 

“Progress report?” he teased, and Jeremy got red in the face. Stupid Michael. 

“Not really,” he admitted, clicking his lock back into place. “I don’t like planning things like this. I just want it to happen. However, I do know where I want it to happen.” Michael cocked a brow and leaned against the lockers. “Oh, really? Where?”

“In the car, by Jake’s house.”

Michael screwed up his nose in confusion. Wasn’t Jake’s house burned down? 

“Wasn’t his house burned down?”

Jeremy nodded and took Michael’s hand, leading him to the cafeteria. “Yeah, but, I mean, I have my reasons. That was the night when I was sure that I had lost my best friend forever, and at the time, I didn’t even fucking care. I have some awful memories from that house, and I’d like to replace them.” Michael bit the inside of his cheek and tightened his grip on Jeremy’s hand. “Yeah, I get the gesture, but won’t we get in trouble?” 

Jeremy stopped walking and looked up at his boyfriend through lidded eyes. “Micah, when’s the last time you cared about getting in trouble?” 

Michael shrugged and kept walking. He realized that he had never told Jeremy about his anxiety attack and emotional breakdown in Jake’s bathroom, or how close he had been to completely giving up on life at that point. His only friend had dumped him, and since he always depended on Jeremy for company and friendship, he had never bothered learning social skills or making other friends. It was a blessing and a curse having one close friend, but when that one friend forgot about you completely, it was nothing short of devastating. 

The feelings that he had felt on Halloween slowly trickled back as he remembered the night’s happenings. God, how he wished he could forget. 

“Michael? You good?” Jeremy’s voice cut across Michael’s thinking. Michael snapped out of it and nodded, realizing that they had arrived at the cafeteria. “Yeah, I’m fine. If that’s what you want, Heere, it’s up to you. You won fair and square.”

The prospect of having sex at Jake’s “house” made Michael’s stomach turn, but maybe Jeremy could replace the bad memories with good ones. That’s just what Jeremy did. 

Jeremy and Michael grabbed trays at the beginning of the lunch line and followed the few kids who had gotten there early. “It doesn’t seem like you’re too willing to fuck in front of an abandoned pile of ashes, Michael. I know that that house is a symbol of everything we’ve left behind us, but it’s important to me that we make amends like that. It doesn’t make sense, I know, but, I mean...”

Michael shook his head as they moved forward in line, trays held up to the lunch lady who was standing behind the counter. “No, no, it’s fine. I have awful memories from that house and I get the thing about wanting to replace those with good memories. Anything, uh, in particular you were looking to do?” Michael asked softly as a hot dog was thrown onto his plate. Jeremy pointed at a chicken sandwich before a hot dog could be placed on his tray. 

“That’s a surprise, silly,” Jeremy snorted. “I can’t let you know what I have in mind, cutie.” Michael scoffed and watched as a fruit cup was put onto his tray. “Tease. Not even one thing? Not a hint?” Michael pouted, and Jeremy laughed. 

“Fine. Starts with ‘s’ and ends with ‘ex.’” Jeremy joked, and Michael punched him in the arm with a free hand. “You’re no fun!” he clucked, excited but concerned. What exactly did Jeremy have in mind? The thought of Jeremy actually taking control of sex for once was really fucking hot. 

Jeremy looked back at Michael and saw him staring at him like he was doing some serious thinking. It made his heart flutter. He absolutely fucking loved his boyfriend. “Hey. I love you.” 

“I love you more.”

They walked to their new table and sat in their normal spots. A few minutes into lunch, the rest of their table joined them, Jake and Rich of course all over each other like they hadn’t broken up that morning. “Look, it’s just not physically possible,” Jake was telling Rich, who was holding a Walmart bag in one hand and had his other hand in Jake’s back pocket. They sat down, which meant that Rich’s hand had to come out. 

“What’s not physically possible?” Jeremy asked nosily, mouth full of chicken sandwich. Rich looked at him and then at Jake. “Jake thayth that he can’t fuck me if I’m doing a headth-tand, but I think he can, tho... Thettle thith argument, Queere,” Rich enlightened the table, and all eyes focused on Jeremy, who was red because he still didn’t like that nickname. Also, how the fuck was he supposed to know if one could fuck while doing gymnastics?

”Why me?”

Jake snorted. “Jeremy, you watch more porn than this entire table combined. _Including_ Michael. So tell us: possible or no?” Jeremy furrowed his brow and dug his fingers into his sandwich bun. He didn’t watch _that_ much porn, right? 

“Fine, fair enough,” he decided. “I think that Rich would pass out before then.” 

“Yeah, and that wouldn’t be consensual,” Michael added, sticking a finger up at the two. Would they actually consider having sex like that? Weirdos... 

Rich shrugged and took a _salad_ out of his bag. “We’re into that,” he declared proudly, popping the lid off of his lunch. “Bethideth, we can try if we want to! It’th our relathionthip. If I path out, tho be it!” Everyone gave him a weird look and started their lunches. No one wanted to further that conversation, so Christine took it upon herself to start a new one. 

“What’s everyone doing for Christmas?” she asked as she stuck her fork into some meatloaf she had brought from home. Christmas Break was scheduled to start at the end of the week, which had everyone excited and relieved. “Probably go up to my mom’s,” Chloe said from her seat, picking up the milk that she had gotten from the lunch line. “The fun thing about having so many divorces in the family is that I get lots of presents.” 

Jake swallowed and leaned forward. “Since Rich’s family is loaded, I’m gonna get lots of presents, too! Or at least that’s what Rich says. We’re gonna go to New York over break, though, which sounds so exciting! I’ve never been,” he said eagerly, clapping softly and kissing Rich on the head. Rich rolled his eyes and picked at his _salad_. “It’s just like New Jersey, just more people and less grass. Plus is smells weird. I only want to go because we get to ice skate and eat weird shit,” Rich commented, and from across the table, Jenna raised an eyebrow. 

“Actually, New York isn’t _that_ bad. At least you don’t have to go to fucking _GEORGIA_ to visit your dying grandpa. How do you think my break is gonna be, huh, Rich? I hate Georgia. Be glad you’re going with your boyfriend to one of the most romantic, most couple-friendly places in America, yeah?” she snapped, looking back down at her phone with a huff. Michael sucked in some air and looked back down at his hot dog. “Oof, let’s talk about something else. Uh, Christine, what’re you doing for Christmas?” 

Christine grinned and set down her fork to clasp her hands together. “I’m going to New York, too! Probably not the same place as Jake and Rich, but my mom is taking me to Broadway! How _exciting_ is that!” she squealed, stomping her legs enthusiastically. The sight made the entire table at ease. Her happiness was contagious. 

“That sounds fun!” Brooke noted, stirring her Ramen. “I’m going to work at the soup kitchen all break. I like working with homeless people. Chloe’s going to be there a few days before she leaves to go to her mom’s.” Jeremy leaned against Michael and pouted. “Why can’t we do couple stuff like that, Micah?” he asked, and Michael laughed. 

“We go on dates every fuckin’ day, weirdo. I don’t think I’ve been separated from you for the past, like, two weeks. Or twelve years. Yeah, no, that’s closer,” Michael countered, and Jeremy fell over into his lap. “ _Michael_ ,” he whined, and his boyfriend rolled his eyes. “You’re making a scene.” 

“Kiss me and tell me I’m pretty.”

Michael smirked and kissed Jeremy softly. “You’re _very_ pretty,” he whispered before sitting back up and pushing Jeremy off of him. “Me and Jeremy haven’t even made Christmas plans. I think we’ll just do what we do every day.”

Rich giggled and waved his fork at them. “Wat-th meme compilathionth on your TV and get high?”

”Play video games like losers?”

”Fuck?”

”Watch weird hentai porn together?”

Jeremy and Michael laughed, because really what the table was saying wasn’t too far off. In fact, they had done all of those things together, and it was weird that the table had been so spot-on. “Probably. I have a few things in mind,” Michael replied suggestively, and Jeremy swallowed hard. 

Stupid Michael. 

Rich raised his eyebrows. “Oh, like what? Jake and I need to thpithe up our thex liveth,” he inquired, leaning in closer to Michael. 

Michael gazed at the wall thoughtfully. What exactly was he insinuating anyways? “Don’t know, probably some kinky shit, though. Also _Roblox_ , because Jeremy loves that shit. Or _Sims_ , I’m not sure yet,” he decided, and Jeremy shot daggers at him. Stupid, _stupid_ Michael.

The table grimaced collectively and continued eating. Lunch was due to end any minute, and though Michael didn’t really want to go to Study Hall, he knew that he should be going so that he could make up missing work from days he had skipped with Jeremy, which were beginning to grow in number. Plus, Jeremy needed to practice for the play, which was supposed to be some time next week. The date had been approaching faster than either of them had realized. 

“So who’s coming to the play?” Michael asked his friends, who looked around at the people who were actually going to be in the play. “No offense, but I don’t want a repeat of the last time,” Chloe commented, and Jeremy felt a pang of guilt rock his chest. Michael put a calming hand on his thigh and squinted at Chloe. “Yeah, well, you have to work in the soup kitchen with Brooke anyways, so it wouldn’t work out,” he replied sourly, not appreciating the way she talked about the SQUIP incident. 

Brooke looked over at Chloe, whose focus was on Michael and his shameful tone of voice. “Rude much?”

Christine winced at the tension and slammed her hands against the table on a whim. “Uh, hey! I heard that Jake’s stepping down from his role as Scrooge! Maybe it was just through the grapevine, but let’s get the scoop straight from the cone!” she intervened, causing the table to jump in surprise. Jake paused, his spoon still in his mouth. He pulled it out and swallowed his applesauce. 

“Actually, yeah,” he announced, setting the spoon down. “Already talked to Mr. Reyes about it. I just have too much on my plate. He seemed to think that I’d be able to remember my lines easier as Jacob Marley.” 

Jeremy stopped mid-bite. Jacob Marley? “Wait, _I’m_ Jacob Marley,” he remembered, recalling the way that Mr. Reyes had continuously praised his zombie-like character interpretation. The character was perfect for him, because he had always had an obsession with zombies and gore and ghosts and just supernatural shit, which made him the perfect candidate for Jacob Marley. Of course he had wanted to play the main character, but it had been made clear to him that there would be no chance of a repeat of _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_.

Jake nodded dumbly at him. “Yeah, we’re switching,” he stated like Jeremy didn’t understand basic English. Jeremy’s heart stopped beating. “S-Switching?” he squeaked, and Michael gasped proudly. He threw his arms around Jeremy and squealed. “Oh my God! You got the lead! Again! Holy shit!” he yelled, kissing Jeremy enthusiastically. Everyone smiled and snapped dramatically. Jake just sat there. Didn’t Jeremy already know? 

“I...” Jeremy sat still as Michael kissed him, focusing on his food. “I don’t understand. I thought that Mr. Reyes didn’t want me to mess up the play again.” Jake shrugged. “He thinks that you’ll do a really great job as Scrooge. Did he not already tell you? I told him this morning.”

Jeremy shook his head and smiled. The news hit him suddenly, causing him to be overcome with joy. He hugged Michael back and burrowed his face in Michael’s neck. It was going to be a great week. A great month. 

Maybe a great year. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter seems pretty short haha uhh idk this will probably end soon u should leave suggestions in the comments for future fics!!
> 
> xofaith


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> biG BIG GAY marked by *** 
> 
> god I got a bit flustered writing this chapter whoops :,))

Michael decided to stay and watch Jeremy’s rehearsal after school, choosing to help out with costume design as he watched Jeremy from a distance. His boyfriend was so talented and blessed. 

“Wonderful, Jeremy,” Mr. Reyes cheered from the first row of chairs in front of the stage where they would be practicing for the rest of the day. “Make sure you really sell the ‘grumpy old man’ aesthetic. Your makeup can only carry you so far!” Jeremy stood upright and stretched, tired of hunching over. He was really enjoying the new role, even if he occasionally forgot the lines. Prior to being offered the role, he had taken it upon himself to be Jake’s understudy, so he rarely forgot the script. 

Michael smiled at Jeremy, his adoration for his boyfriend too much for him to bear. He couldn’t keep it in his mind while entertaining other thoughts, so Michael decided to just think about Jeremy while he pinched a fold of fabric together for some girl who was working in Costumes. 

Jeremy continued rehearsing, talented as ever, Christine acting as both the Ghost of Christmas Present and Belle. She was able to jump from role-to-role with ease, which didn’t surprise Jeremy. Even though Jeremy wasn’t as gifted in theatre and acting as Christine, he was still the best, in Michael’s opinion. Michael winced as the girl working with him stabbed his finger with a needle, causing him to let go and ruin the pleat. Stupid Michael. 

“Way to go, pal,” the girl hissed, pinching the fabric together herself and tightening the thread. Michael furrowed his brow at her and sucked on his finger, turning around to watch Jeremy finish the scene. 

“ _Take hold of my robe, Ebeneezer Scrooge!_ ” Christine croaked, smiling widely and flourishing her “cape,” which was then just air because Michael and the nameless girl were still working on it. Jeremy grabbed hold of the air and peered at Christine nervously. ” _Wh-Where, pray tell, are we going?_ ” he peeped, voice hoarse and mature. It sent shivers down Michael’s spine because it was so unlike Jeremy. He wanted to grow old with Jeremy just to hear him talk like that unironically.

Christine cackled dramatically, beaming. “ _You will see!_ ” she cried, and with that, the scene ended. 

Mr. Reyes held up his notebook and clapped against it. “Amazing! No offense to Mr. Dillinger, but Jeremy does a much better job remembering his lines and really embracing the character. One note! Please make sure that you don’t touch the cape until _after_  the Ghost of Christmas Present says, ‘ _You will see!_ ’. Then Lights and Technical will play the sounds and flash the strobes, and Setting will rush in and make use of the flashing. Yes?” 

Christine and Jeremy nodded, repeating the few lines, though Jeremy didn’t touch the robe until after the last line was delivered. After clearance from Mr. Reyes, they continued onto the next scene.

Mr. Reyes said that Chorus would be joining them the next day to play the carolers, which would start the scene. Michael sat in wonder as he realized how much work must’ve gone into making the play happen, especially how difficult it must’ve been in such a short amount of time. Maybe he should’ve joined Drama when he had the chance. 

Most of the people working Lights and Technical were students from Computer or Programming who needed the extra credit before the semester ended. They worked during their classes to perfect the sound and lighting for the play, which the Drama class appreciated because they couldn’t be trusted with electronics. Many volunteers from Literary offered to run lines with the cast and design costumes that hadn’t already been purchased or made. However, since the school had had many plays, the costume closet was pretty vast and full of options for every play imaginable. 

The amount of work that went into the play was outrageous to Michael. 

He considered the setting that was being put together by both Woodworking and many art classes that their school offered, of course as either volunteer projects or extra credit grades. Teachers were very keen on linking classes and clubs at Middle Borough High School. It was amazing to Michael how students who could give less of a fuck about the wellbeing of their peers could come together and create such a masterpiece on short notice. 

Before he realized that he had gotten lost in thought, Jeremy was standing over Michael with a huge smile plastered over his face. Michael grinned and stood up, leaning down to kiss Jeremy. “You’re doing so well out there, Jere. I love my sexy old man,” Michael teased, and Jeremy swung their arms. “I’m having so much fun as Scrooge. Thanks again for coming to practice... You don’t have to, y’know,” Jeremy told him, but Michael shook his head. 

“I’m having a great time. You’re so talented and I love you.” 

Jeremy kissed Michael’s cheek and backed up a bit. “I’ll make sure to make it worth your time, then. You still carry condoms and lube in the car?” he joked, and Michael reddened. Yes, but just to replace the weird shit the previous owner had left.

“No.”

”Liar. We’ll be done shortly. Love you!” Jeremy replied as he walked away, joining Christine and a few other students on the center of the stage. Michael watched Jeremy leave with a flustered look on his face. How could Jeremy manage to do that to him?

———

Play rehearsal ended around six, at which point Michael was hungry and exhausted. He had ended up helping with costumes again, proud of the cape that he had helped pleat, and also of the many pairs of shoes that he was tasked with shining. Who knew that the school had so many just for Drama? 

“I’m thinking Chick-fil-a for dinner,” Jeremy suggested as Michael handed him his bag, then taking his boyfriend’s hand and leading him out of the building and to his car. Michael nodded in agreement, yawning pointedly. He was really tired and didn’t think that he’d be up for sex after eating, but Jeremy just shook his head. 

“I won. My rules,” he reminded Michael, letting him open the passenger door for him. Jeremy slipped inside and kissed Michael before he closed the door, and Michael rounded the car to join Jeremy. “Okay, but I’m tired. What if I fall asleep in the middle of fucking you?” Michael joked hazily, putting on his seatbelt. Jeremy snorted and clicked his seatbelt into place. “I’ll keep you awake, don’t worry. I think that you’ll be pretty... alert.” 

The proposition interested Michael, but he was just really fucking hungry and needed to eat. He pulled out of the school parking lot and drove the short distance to the restaurant, choosing to go through the drive-thru so that he wouldn’t feel so tired by the time they sat down to eat. 

“I love the people at Chick-fil-a because they’re so sweet,” Jeremy commented as they pulled forward to check their order, which had been processed and filled in less than three minutes. Michael pulled out his fries and ate one. “ _You’re_ so sweet,” he countered, mouth full. Jeremy giggled and pulled his sandwich out of the bag. 

“Jake’s house.”

For someone who didn’t like planning sex, Jeremy sure had a schedule in mind. Michael ate another fry as he left Chick-fil-a, trying to remember if he knew how to get to Jake’s “house” from there. “Isn’t it, like, down the road from Food Lion?” Michael asked uncertainly, and Jeremy nodded. He may or may not have Googled the address that was still in his phone from Halloween to try and trigger his directional memory. 

“Yeah, you’ll see it once you go down that road and take a left. No, right. It’s a right,” Jeremy informed Michael, sitting back in his seat as Michael pulled out into traffic, merging jerkily because he still kind of sucked at driving. Both of them did. 

The ride to Jake’s old house was silent, consisting of Jeremy and Michael shoving their food down their throats as quickly as they could manage without choking. There’d be enough of that later (insert ironic winky face).

Upon seeing the pile of wreckage and ashes that had yet to be cleared from the area, Michael pulled to a stop by the house’s mailbox. The house’s frame was barely distinguishable, the staircase crumbling. How had no one gotten around to fixing the mess? 

Jeremy took a deep and shaky breath before undoing his seat belt, wiping his hands on his pants and placing his trash in the pocket on the door. He was nervous, especially since he wasn’t used to initiating things. At least the daylight was fleeting outside the car so that no one would be able to see them. 

He wondered how sex in a car would work. Would they both move to the back seat? Would Michael have to move his seat back and turn off the car to prevent any technical mishaps? 

Jeremy shook his head. _Stop thinking_. 

Carefully, he climbed over the center console and into Michael’s lap, leaning over to scoot Michael’s chair back. The transition was long and a bit awkward, but Jeremy was determined to make _good_ memories. 

“Jere–“ Michael started, but stopped when Jeremy sat back up and looked at him dreamily. Cliché as it was, moments like those left Michael speechless and completely enamored. Jeremy smiled softly and kissed Michael. “I _kinda_ know what I’m doing,” he murmured, and Michael laughed breathily. “Just... bear with me. Let me know if we don’t have enough room.” 

Michael nodded as Jeremy started kissing him, starting at his forehead and moving down to his neck. Jeremy sucked a few hickeys into Michael’s neck, just adding to their growing collection, and then moved back up to his lips. He rested his forehead against Michael’s and closed his eyes. “I love you so much. There’s nothing I could say that would excuse every horrible thing I’ve done to you, but I would rather replace those awful moments from Halloween night with better memories,” he whispered quietly, and Michael let his eyes flutter closed. 

“Jeremy,” he replied, smiling warmly, “you don’t have to apologize for anything. This is perfect and you’re perfect and it’s going to be great. Things will be okay.” 

Jeremy leaned back and kissed Michael one more time before bending over to lean the back of Michael’s seat backwards, giving him a better angle to attack Michael with kisses. “Tell me what you want,” Jeremy muttered, positioning himself above Michael’s face and smirking. The feeling was new to him, but seeing the surprised but pleased look on Michael’s face made it all worthwhile. 

“I want you pretty and laid out for me. I want you to scream my name and to dig your nails into my skin and be a good boy and pull my hair. I want you to stay with me forever and help me forget about that godforsaken night,” Michael replied breathlessly from under him, his eyes glossy and half-lidded. Jeremy swallowed hard and nodded. God, he would’ve cum on the spot had he not wanted to please Michael so much. 

“Of course. I’ll be a good boy for you, Micah,” Jeremy whispered, hushed, as he pushed Michael back into the chair and kissed him one more time before struggling to switch spots with Michael. The transition wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t as awkward as Jeremy had worried it would’ve been. Jeremy fell back against the chair, which was in a laying position at that point, and pulled Michael down over him by his hoodie strings. Michael planted kisses across Jeremy’s hairline and down his jaw, pinning his arms above his head as he took off Jeremy’s shirt to mark him up. Faded marks from hickies that Michael constantly left across Jeremy’s torso stood out against his pale, freckled skin, making Michael feel proud and even more horny. Seeing Jeremy helpless under him in general made him horny. 

As Michael leaned down to kiss Jeremy’s chest and sprinkle hickies across it, Jeremy laid his hands gently around Michael’s neck, rubbing it to let Michael know that he was enjoying what he was doing. Michael knew how to make Jeremy feel good. _Really_ good. 

Every worry about the play, school, the SQUIP, and Jeremy’s social life in general seemed to melt away with each mark Michael left on his skin. 

“You’re such a good boy, so pretty and so well-behaved and so talented and lovable,” Michael rambled as he struggled to take off his hoodie and his shirt, tossing the clothing to Jeremy’s seat. “I’m so lucky.” 

Jeremy blushed slightly and set his hands on Michael’s chest. He let his thumb brush over the skin as he took in the sight of Michael, which would never get old. “You’re lucky? Why’s that?” he prompted, loving the way Michael gushed over him on a regular basis. Michael smiled and leaned down over Jeremy, legs starting to cramp up. The car wasn’t an ideal place to have sex, but the change in location made the discomfort worth his time.

“I have a boyfriend who I pined over for over a decade. He’s sweet and kind and cute and has such a big heart. He’s talented and loves what he does. He’s so smart, but he’s also humble and blushes a lot. He has a perfect body and an even better personality. I love every inch of his body and hope that I can convey that on the regular,” Michael mused as he gazed at Jeremy, whose smile widened gradually. 

“Interesting, because I think that I’m even luckier.” 

“Doubt it.”

Jeremy snorted and moved his hands back to Michael’s neck, tugging gently at the ends of Michael’s hair. “Yeah, actually. My boyfriend is the most lovable person I’ve ever met, and he’s been by my side for twelve years. His love for me has never faltered, even when I forced him out of my life because I didn’t realize how lucky I already was. He’s intelligent and quirky and witty and deserves every good thing that comes his way,” he murmured thoughtfully, and Michael blinked away his happy tears. God, he didn’t deserve Jeremy. 

“If you get me too emotional, I won’t be able to fuck you with a clear conscience.” 

The smaller boy smirked and raised his eyebrows. “I say we do some real gentle shit. I wanna get deep. I wanna get real personal and shit,” Jeremy suggested, and Michael nodded quickly. That sounded perfect. 

Michael sat up and moved Jeremy to the center of the seat, kneeling over him as he undid Jeremy’s pants, followed by his own. How they managed to completely undress, Michael had no idea. However, down to their socks, the boys had achieved nudity in record time, their clothes scattered throughout the car carelessly. 

He reached over to the center console and pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom. He was glad that they had decided to take his car that morning, because Jeremy probably didn’t have a traveling sex kit. “You know,” Michael decided to admit as he set the condom and lube down over the closed console, gazing at Jeremy, “Halloween was the worst night of my life. I can still remember the awful feeling that drowned me when you called me a loser and basically disowned me. I had a breakdown, probably the most severe in my life. One, I hadn’t even been invited to that party. The reality of my loneliness had settled in, and I guess it really hadn’t before. Two, my best friend, who had been my only friend for twelve years, had abandoned me. He was the only person that really _knew_ me, and the fact that he didn’t like me made me want to... stop existing.” 

Jeremy looked up at Michael through tearful eyes. His body became plagued by the extreme regret that he felt regarding that night. He never knew the extent to which Michael’s misery reached, and he couldn’t voice the sorrow and guilt he felt, but he took Michael’s hand and held it tightly and hoped for the best. 

Michael smiled and looked out his window at the pile of burnt wood and furniture that used to represent his depression, his anxiety, and his inconceivable insecurity. He was there with Jeremy. In a car. Jeremy, his _boyfriend_. 

“And that’s why... why I’m so lucky,” Michael choked, starting to tear up too. “That same friend became my boyfriend, and I don’t want to get too emotional, but I can’t believe we’re here, doing this, replacing those awful, horrifying feelings with new ones.” As soon as he finished his bit, Michael looked back down at Jeremy and noticed that he was crying. “It’s okay, baby. I’m just so happy and ready to put this behind us,” Michael assured him, bringing the hand that was holding Jeremy’s to Jeremy’s watery eyes to wipe away his tears. 

“I-I’m so-o sorry,” Jeremy choked quietly, his chest rising and falling shakily as he cried. The memories from that night had become too real, and he really just wanted to forget them and improve for Michael. 

Michael hushed him and kissed Jeremy’s forehead. “It’s okay. We’re going to make it better, right?” he reminded Jeremy, who smiled and choked out a laugh. “Y-Yeah, let’s replace those awful memories with good ones,” he reiterated, and Michael nodded before letting go of his hand and reaching for the lube. 

***

As usual, Michael stretched Jeremy out enough to accommodate his length, but not enough for it to necessarily be pain-free. Seeing the split second of immense discomfort spread across Jeremy’s features made him feel predatory, and he basically lived for those moments. “What do _you_ want, baby boy?” Michael turned the question back on Jeremy, who was working at focusing only on Michael. He thought for a moment, his heart skipping a beat at the way Michael purred his pet name. 

“I w-want you to fuck me gently,” Jeremy said, his voice thick with tears. He blinked away the glossiness and looked up at his boyfriend. “I want you to hold me and pet me and tell me that things will be okay, that we can put this behind us and have a really great future together. I want to make you happy and I... don’t want to use a condom.” 

The statement was a bit last-second, more of an afterthought, but it was a decision that Jeremy would stick by. He wasn’t even sure where it had come from, because it’s not like he minded the condoms; he knew that protection was really important. However, it just felt right. Michael stopped his work at Jeremy’s hole and looked at Jeremy’s sure face. 

“N-No condom? What if one of us has a disease, or what if–“

Jeremy took hold of Michael’s arm and swallowed. “Michael, _please_.” 

Reluctantly, Michael set his concerns aside and nodded. “Alright,” he stated, resuming the foreplay. “Anything else?” 

Jeremy thought on it. “I want you to finish inside of me, and I want you to say my name again and again until we both finish. I want to be with you and I want us to be happy.” 

Michael smiled and nodded again. “Y-Yeah, okay. What if you get pregnant, though?” Jeremy rolled his eyes and laughed through his sadness. “Guess we’ll drop out of high school to raise it together,” he teased, and the thought warmed Michael’s heart. Having a child with Jeremy and exploring the joys of parenthood with him seemed incredibly domestic and appealing. 

He pulled his fingers out of Jeremy and reached for the lube again, but Jeremy beat him to it. He shakily poured a generous amount into the palm of his hand, then placed it around the base of Michael’s dick, running his thumb along its underside. Michael moaned in surprise as Jeremy ran his hand along the length of Michael’s member, coating it with a heavy layer of lube. He uncertainly ran his thumb over the tip of the head, looking up at Michael for approval. 

“G-God, Jere,” Michael forced himself to say, even though he felt at a loss for words. His body grew warm and fuzzy, the blood rushing to his dick as Jeremy finished getting him ready. 

“Is that good?” Jeremy asked, deciding that he’d try his hand at dirty talking. It was a night full of firsts, and things couldn’t get more awkward than being in a cramped car. “Am I doing a g-ood job, babe?” Michael slammed his eyes shut and let his mouth fall open slightly. “Yeah, yeah, j-ust...”

Jeremy smiled to himself, proud that he could make Michael so hot with just his hands. “Just what, Daddy?” 

God, fucking Jeremy Heere. 

Michael forced his eyes back open and put a hand over Jeremy’s, which was resting on his cock. “S-Stop, I’m gonna cum before we even start,” he protested, and Jeremy giggled as Michael carefully removed Jeremy’s hand and leaned over him again. Jeremy let a hand travel down Michael’s back and around his side, holding Michael’s length and carefully lining it up with himself. “Michael, I love you.” 

“Jeremy, I love _you_.”

With that, Michael thrusted into Jeremy slowly, gazing at Jeremy’s pained expression as he did so. The sight made him clammy and flustered, but he reminded himself that he needed to be gentle. Jeremy’s hands wandered back up to Michael’s neck, into his hair. He carded his fingers through his boyfriend’s locks as Michael pulled back out. The movements were awkward and slow at first, since the space was cramped and Michael kept bumping into things. However, the emotionally charged atmosphere erased any nervous feelings, and Michael was able to pick up a steady and gentle pace. 

“M-Michael,” Jeremy moaned, his breathing unsteady and labored. Michael let one of his hands rest against Jeremy’s throat, running a thumb along it and pressing into the skin in rhythm with his thrusting. The new sensation made Jeremy hum in excitement and pleasure, and the vibration from his throat turned Michael on even more. 

“What, _baby boy_?” Michael teased, his voice barely above a whisper as he eased himself in and out of Jeremy. “Does this feel good?” 

Jeremy swallowed hard, which was difficult because of the slight pressure Michael was applying to his throat. “God, y-yeah, you’re so good to me,” he whimpered, hands pulling roughly at Michael’s hair. Michael took a shaky breath as he took in Jeremy’s shaking body and the new feeling of sex without a condom. It felt raw and natural, but above all, so _different_. 

“Yeah?” he asked hoarsely, swallowing. “What do you want?” 

It seemed like that was the only question he could ask. 

“J-Jack me off,” Jeremy pleaded, his breaths becoming quicker and more desperate as he pulled at Michael’s hair, which had become his favorite pastime. Michael smirked and moved his free hand to Jeremy’s member, his thumb pressing against the head, which was covered in pre-cum. “God, Jeremy. You’re so fucking pretty like this. You’re such a good boy,” Michael praised him, causing Jeremy to moan loudly. The stimulation was becoming a bit much for him to handle, and Michael’s expert multitasking surprised both of the boys. 

Michael rubbed Jeremy’s throat roughly, applying more pressure. It was becoming hard for Jeremy to breathe, but he was enjoying it, oddly enough. “Mph,” he choked, eyes fluttering as he gazed up at Michael, who was admiring Jeremy’s reddening face. 

His thrusting quickened slightly as Jeremy bucked his hips, desperate for more friction. His heart was beating loudly in his ears, his legs warm against the heated seat, the muffled sound of the radio in the background. Everything was too much for him. 

“Michael,” he moaned again, closing his eyes and arching his back slightly. “Michael. M-Michael. Michael, God, _Michael_.” The name rolled off of his tongue with ease, and with each repetition, both Michael and Jeremy got closer. “Please.  _God_ , Michael,” Jeremy practically yelled, tears spilling from his eyes. He was so painfully close and was pleasantly surprised with himself for holding out so long. 

“C-C’mon, baby,” Michael breathed, “Cum for me, Jeremy. _Jeremy_.” With that, Jeremy’s moans became deeper, and he finished against his chest. The hot liquid stuck to his torso as Michael thrusted into him a few more times, the stimulation enough to make Jeremy hard again. 

“Jeremy,” Michael mumbled, unable to see clearly. “ _Fuck_ , God.” Jeremy pulled Michael closer, running his nails along Michael’s spine. “Cum inside of me, Michael. P-Please,” Jeremy begged, his face hot and his breathing forced. 

Michael choked out Jeremy’s name as he finished, and Jeremy’s stomach turned over at the hot feeling of Michael’s cum inside of him. It was a bit foreign, but Jeremy relished it. He moaned as Michael rode out his orgasm, cum seeping from his own member and making a mess in the seat. In hindsight, they probably should’ve laid something down to prevent the huge mess. Michael collapsed tiredly as soon as he finished, syncing his hard breathing with the rising and falling of Jeremy’s chest. 

“Th-That was the best sex we’ve had,” Jeremy muttered, hands around Michael’s back and resting on his shoulders. Michael nodded and breathed deeply, admiring the smell that he probably wouldn’t be able to get out of his car for weeks. “Jeremy, fuck, I don’t know if I ever want to have sex with a condom again,” he joked, and Jeremy chuckled quietly under him. “Me either.” 

For a few minutes, the boys let their breathing fill the car, listening to some song that was crackling from the radio. It was peaceful and–

***

A knock came from the passenger-side window, causing both Jeremy and Michael to shoot up quickly. Michael unfortunately knocked his head against his mirror, which he had left down for some reason, and his back bumped into his steering wheel, causing his car to honk quickly. Deeply embarrassed and red in the face, Michael grabbed a shirt that he had thrown into Jeremy’s seat and draped it over his and Jeremy’s laps, making out both a short and tall figure at their window. 

The tapping continued, and through the soft glow of the car’s lights, Michael and Jeremy realized that Jake and Rich were grinning widely at them. 

“Jesus Christ.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y’all writing this chapter made me realize that I don’t want this fic to end ugh!! I had an ending chapter of 35 but honestly the love and support I’m getting is unbelievable 
> 
> like really I read fics that last 60 chapters tbh, and though I don’t think that I’ll write tHAT much, it’ll end when it ends, yeah??
> 
> xofaith
> 
> ps I hope you have as much fun reading my gay smut as I do writing it haha


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just fluff I love my sons

“That wath a lot hotter than juth-t lithenting to you two in the bathroom,” Rich squealed, shivering against the cold night air. Jake’s arm held him close against him, also using him as a support since he only had one crutch under his arm. Michael and Jeremy sat frozen with the window half-rolled down. They were embarrassed beyond words, unable to reply or move. Why hadn’t they just pretended that they couldn’t hear the knocking? 

Michael was slowly leaning his chair back up, the mechanical humming filling the awkward silence. Jake chuckled as his boyfriend shook. “Totally. You two know how to have a good time. Except why in front of my house?” he added, cocking a brow at the couple. Jeremy opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He could hardly breathe. 

“U-Uh,” Michael stammered, his forehead itchy because his sweat practically glued his hair to his skin. It was so fucking cold. Why didn’t he have his clothes on? “I’m so-orry.” 

Jake and Rich shared a chuckle and shook their heads at Michael and Jeremy. “Doethn’t matter, but you thould include uth next time. Hey, juth-t get drethed or whatever. We were juth-t here to thtar-gathe.” Jeremy gave them a confused look, looking from the pile of ashes to the couple outside their car. “Stargaze? Here?” he asked, perplexed. 

“Yeah,” Jake replied, turning around to look at his house. “We used to have a big patio behind my house, as you probably remember. It’s a nice place to look up at the sky, and the fire didn’t even touch it.” Rich nodded and looked back at Michael and Jeremy, taking in their naked bodies. If only there were room for two more, he could make it an even better time.

Jokes aside, Rich loved Jake and would never.

Michael became even more uncomfortable, as well as incredibly jealous, as he realized that Rich was definitely eyeing up Jeremy. “Hey, so, uh, we have school tomorrow and have to go,” he rushed, reaching to roll up the window. 

Rich shot a hand up to the glass and shot Michael an offended look. “Hey, juth-t admiring the work. Both you and Jeremy have a little thomething on your, uh...” Michael squinted at him and then followed his gaze to Jeremy’s chest, and then to his own. God, it was so fucking humiliating. 

“Goodnight,” Michael mumbled irritably as he finished rolling up the window, and Rich removed his hand quickly before it got squashed. Both Rich and Jake took a step back onto the grass, watching Jeremy and Michael’s silhouettes as they awkwardly pulled themselves off of each other, throwing on their boxers and sweaters after mopping up the cum from the car and each other before climbing back into their seats. 

“They’re cute,” Rich commented before helping Jake to the back of the property, leaving Michael and Jeremy to die of embarrassment. 

In the car, Jeremy angrily ate his fries, which were cold. “That wasn’t cool,” he huffed, heart still beating quickly from the sudden noise. He had really thought that the cops were there to arrest them or that some person had come to murder them. Michael nodded shakily, yanking the seatbelt over his chest. It didn’t budge the first few times, so Michael had to pull it down slowly. He was still very irritated. 

“That being said,” Jeremy said, trying to lighten the mood upon sensing Michael’s irritation, “I had a really, really good time. That was the best and closest to you I’ve ever felt.” 

Michael paused and smiled, the warm feeling returning to him. Jeremy and Michael had had sex in the car, and it was the best sex they had ever had. “Y-Yeah,” Michael agreed slowly. “Yeah, you’re right. Even if Rich and Jake barged in on us, that was really hot. Who knew that Jeremiah Heere, my twink boyfriend, likes being choked?”

Jeremy’s voice got caught in his throat as he sunk back into his seat, embarrassed. “D-Don’t expose me like that, Mell,” he managed in a warning tone. Stupid Michael. 

———

Michael pulled into his driveway alongside Jeremy’s car, his hand and Jeremy’s resting lightly on the center console. “Homework,” Michael remembered dreadfully, throwing his head back against his headrest. 

Teachers enjoyed throwing last-minute tests and quizzes at students right before break, including homework and projects. It was intolerable and stressful. Jeremy hushed Michael and leaned over to smush his lips against Michael’s. “Let’s not worry about it. I wanna... Can we skip tomorrow? Like, all day? We can pretend to be sick or something and cuddle and mess around,” Jeremy asked hesitantly, wanting to spend every fucking second in Michael’s arms. 

Michael paused a beat, but nodded. He knew that Jeremy would regret it come morning, but skipping with his boyfriend was definitely the most ideal way to spend his day. “Can we still go to rehearsal?” Michael asked, desperately wanting to see Jeremy’s role come together. Jeremy nodded enthusiastically. He loved that Michael supported him so much. 

“Yeah, of course. Can we get inside, though? I don’t like the dark,” Jeremy complained, and Michael nodded. “Yes, yeah, let’s get inside. I know for a fact that my mother has an unopened bottle of vodka in the freezer, and I’m in the mood to get fucked.”

Jeremy grimaced, and Michael snorted. “Kidding. Hot cocoa?” Jeremy nodded and smiled.

The two got out of the car and collected their food trash, their extra clothing, and their school stuff, running through the freezing night in their underwear and light sweaters to the door. Michael fumbled with the keys, but eventually unlocked his door. They shuffled inside and breathed in the warmer air, even though to Jeremy, it was still pretty cold. 

“I’m starting the fireplace. I can’t live in these conditions,” he stated, rushing over to the living room and dumping everything by the door for Michael to take care of. “Wait, I should probably take a shower first.”

Michael stopped in his tracks. “How about we save water and bathe together?” he suggested, and Jeremy turned around, raising his eyebrows. “Are you suggesting a bubble bath?” 

“With a _bath bomb_ ,” Michael added, and Jeremy feigned surprise. “I couldn’t imagine a better way to end this perfect day. Bath, then cuddling by the fire with hot cocoa. I love my boyfriend.” 

“I love my boyfriend even more.” 

Michael and Jeremy padded down the hall together to Michael’s bathroom, closing the door behind them without a second thought. It was just second nature. “Wow, your bath is so big,” Jeremy teased, looking at the cramped bathtub dismally. However, close quarters meant that he and Michael would _have_ to be squished together. 

“My mom has that big tub thing if you’d prefer bathing in my mother’s bathroom,” Michael retorted sarcastically, reaching into one of his cabinets for the package of bath bombs his mom had gotten him a few months ago. 

Jeremy shrugged and slipped his sweater over his head, letting it fall beside his feet. “As long as I get to take a bath with you, I’m not complaining,” he decided, stepping over to the bathtub to start the water. He pushed down the drain and turned the faucet near its hottest setting. He was freezing. Michael picked out a purple bath bomb and held it up to Jeremy’s face. “Lavender!” he sang, and Jeremy chuckled as he pulled off Michael’s hoodie. 

“Dork.” 

Once the water was high enough, Jeremy stepped out of his underwear and into the tub, sinking in and letting the warm water engulf him. “Ugh, Michael, this is so warm,” he moaned, leaning his head back. Michael laughed and took off his boxers too, climbing into the bathtub with Jeremy and dropping the bath bomb into the water. The purple clouds foamed as the bath bomb dissolved, and Jeremy watched in wonder. He never used bath bombs. 

“Pretty,” he commented, legs held up to his chest as Michael’s held them together. Michael nodded and took off his glasses, setting them on the side of the tub. “Not as pretty as you. Let me wash your hair,” he offered, and Jeremy smiled, turning around and scooting into Michael’s lap eagerly. Too eagerly. Jeremy was such a baby, and he didn’t even realize it. 

Michael grabbed his bottle of shampoo and poured some into his hand, setting the container back on the edge of the tub and rubbing his hands together, working the soap into Jeremy’s scalp. “Welcome to my salon, where I expertly wash cute boys’ hair,” Michael joked, and Jeremy snorted. “‘Boys,’ huh? Hair-slut, how many boys’ hair do you do, huh?” he responded, and Michael rolled his eyes, enjoying the fluffy nature of their bath. 

“Just one.” 

Jeremy smiled contently and sank back into Michael’s chest. “You give good head massages. _And_ my hair is clean now. _And_ I get to smell like my favorite person,” he said lovingly, and Michael smirked. “Your fav-wite?” 

Stupid Michael. 

“Yeah, sure,” Jeremy retorted quietly, relishing the simple stuff in life. “I love you.” Michael sighed happily. “I love you more. Rinse.” 

Jeremy scooted forward awkwardly and folded his legs up, his head just short of Michael’s crotch, and took a deep breath before submerging himself in the warm bath water, letting Michael rinse the soap out of his hair. Everything sounded muffled and echoed quietly under the water, calming Jeremy down. He thought that he’d regret wanting to stay home the next day, but if it meant that he could spend the day with Michael, it was worth it. 

He sat back up when his ears started humming uncomfortably, the water seeping into his eardrums. Michael inspected his hair for any leftover soap, content with his work. He leaned down to wet his own hair, then sat back and reached for the soap bottle. 

Jeremy turned around and grabbed Michael’s wrist to stop him. “Uh, I get to wash my boyfriend’s hair too,” he said quickly, grabbing the shampoo and squirting some into his palm. Michael shrugged and turned around, letting Jeremy cross his legs and leaning up to scrub Michael’s mop of dark hair. It rarely got greasy like Jeremy’s, but it was usually pretty dry. “That’ll do,” Jeremy commented, pulling Michael down into his lap and rinsing out his hair.

Baths didn’t need to be a sexual thing, and Michael and Jeremy could prove it. They craved the domestic and fluffy parts of their friendship _and_ their relationship, which had never changed over the course of the past twelve years. 

Jeremy pulled Michael back up and grabbed a washcloth from his hook, happily grabbing Michael’s coconut body wash because it smelled so fucking good. “This is my favorite smell in the entire world,” he murmured as he scrubbed his armpits, then his chest. He looked down and saw the bright red and deep purple marks all over his chest. Holy shit, how had he not seen that?

Michael turned around to follow suit, and then caught sight of Jeremy’s body. “Oh my God,” he whispered, amazed. How had he done that? 

“I know,” Jeremy replied, tracing the marks as he recalled watching Michael suck them into his skin. He missed that feeling already. “Your back?” he asked, remembering that he had scratched Michael’s back at some point. He could definitely make out the dark marks of hickies against Michael’s skin, but he much preferred the lighter tint of Michael’s broken skin. 

Michael shrugged and turned back around, washing his body as Jeremy brought a finger up to Michael’s back, which was covered in small scratch marks. He was overcome with pride. 

“Yeah,” Jeremy remarked, tracing the scratches slowly. “Yeah.” 

Michael snickered and turned back around again. “Stop making me turn around, I’m gonna vomit.” 

Jeremy laughed and finished bathing. God, he just loved Michael Mell so fucking much. 

———

Michael and Jeremy sat together by the fireplace, a mess of limbs and blankets, sipping from their mugs. The setting brought them back to their childhood, cuddled up and drowning in blankets. It was funny to them how some things never changed. 

 _National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation_ played in the background, a movie that Jeremy and Michael made a point to play near Christmas every year. It was one of their favorites. 

“Y’know,” Jeremy interrupted the silence, his head against Michael’s chest, “I keep thinking about our future. I know we haven’t been dating very long, but I don’t want to date anyone else. I want to be with you forever and grow old and I want to have kids. I want to watch _National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation_ with them near Christmas every year and drink hot chocolate and cuddle. I want to open presents with them around a tree and decorate that tree and just have a family.”

Michael stayed quiet for a few minutes, which worried Jeremy. Did he overstep? Was he planning too far ahead?

“Yeah,” Michael finally said quietly. “Yeah. I want that more than you could possibly imagine. Promise that we can see this through? Together?” 

Jeremy smiled and the warm feeling returned. “Promise.”

 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> actually added a bj scene bc why not?? v v disappointed in jere smh (***) 
> 
> xofaith

Michael woke up suddenly to a banging noise. He shot up, his neck aching, and looked around the room. Jeremy was laying in his lap, still sleeping, looking uncharacteristically peaceful and at ease. “Jere?” Michael whispered hoarsely, a gross taste in his mouth. Had he not brushed his teeth?

His blinked away his tiredness, his glasses crooked and no help at all. After readjusting them carefully, as to not wake up Jeremy, Michael sat up fully and decided that the banging was just his imagination.

The noise started again, coming from the basement. Michael’s heart started beating loudly, caught in his throat as he wondered what the fuck the noise could’ve been. “J-Jeremy,” he said louder, shaking his boyfriend out of sleep. Jeremy moaned tiredly and turned over, burying his face in the blanket on Michael’s lap. “Mm, Michael, shuddup,” he groaned, and Michael shook him again.

”Jeremy,” Michael mumbled urgently, pushing Jeremy off of him and holding his face in his hands. “Jeremy, wake the fuck up.”

Jeremy opened his eyes slowly, face glowing softly because of the orange tint of the dying fire. Michael would’ve kissed him if he weren’t so scared. “What?” Jeremy croaked, frowning at Michael. Before Michael could reply, the banging noise began again, jolting Jeremy out of his sleepy state.

“O-Oh my God,” Jeremy choked, sitting up straight and looking around the living room. “What’s that noise?”

Michael shrugged and wiped his palms on his blanket. “I do-on’t know. It’s coming from the basement,” he stammered, throat aching. What time was it anyway? Jeremy took a deep breath and looked at Michael worriedly. “Are we gonna, like, check it out?” he asked quietly, and the banging noise sounded throughout the empty house.

“What if the apocalypse started?” Michael returned in a hushed voice, eyes wide and fearful. No amount of zombie games would’ve actually been able to prepare him for a real apocalypse. Jeremy blinked and furrowed his brow. “No, dumbass. It wouldn’t. We need to go figure out what the noise is and deal with it,” he decided, trying to summon what little amount of courage he was capable of. Michael bit his lip and clambered to his feet.

He had a feeling that it wouldn’t end well.

Jeremy grabbed onto Michael’s arm, using it to pull himself to his feet. “Uh, grab a pan or something,” Jeremy whispered, and Michael rolled his eyes. “A pan? Why don’t I just grab a gun, genius?” he retorted, padding to the kitchen and pulling his dad’s pistol out of a drawer. It was just there in case of emergencies, and since his family was paranoid and convinced that they’d be robbed while in the kitchen, it was just where the gun was kept.

Michael slid the drawer closed, fumbling with the gun in his right hand and grabbing Jeremy’s hand with his left. “If I get shot–“

Jeremy punched Michael in the arm. “Don’t fucking talk like that!” he demanded, leading Michael warily to the basement door, which was cracked open. The boys took a collectively deep breath and switched on the light switch at the top of the stairs, which caused the dim light to wash over the carpeted steps. “After you,” Jeremy murmured, shaking. The loud noises began again, causing Michael to miss the step he was stepping towards and tumble down a few stairs, accidentally setting off the gun. Jeremy screamed shrilly and threw himself backwards instinctively, scratching wildly at the wooden floor of the living room to prevent himself from falling down the stairs.

Michael cried out as the banging noise got louder, followed by a scratching noise, then a pattering noise. Jeremy was literally crying. He could barely breathe, his heartbeat too loud to hear much of anything. Had Michael shot himself by accident? What was that fucking noise?

“JEREMY, YOU DICK! JEREMY!” Michael screamed at the top of his lungs, and the scratching noise got louder. Michael opened his eyes and looked around the basement, noticing a small figure in the corner of the room. He stopped breathing.

Jeremy’s breath came in hard, forced beats, his hand gripping at his chest. “M-ichael,” he choked, climbing to his knees and looking down the stairs at Michael, who was a dark, crumbled figure against the faded carpet. “Michael?”

Michael slowly looked back at Jeremy and put a finger to his mouth. If they weren’t awake before, they definitely were then. Jeremy squinted at his boyfriend and tried to peer around the doorway, following Michael’s gaze. His movement caused the door to hit the wall softly, but the noise triggered whatever was down in the basement. The banging started again, then the scratching. Michael watched fearfully as the figure scattered towards him, his screaming filling the entire house as he turned around quickly to crawl up the stairs.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t quick enough. The small animal screeched as it bounced up the stairs, ripping at Michael’s clothes as it raced over him. Screeching, Michael threw his arms over his head, and Jeremy yelled as he stepped out of the doorway, letting the creature bound past him.

Jeremy ran into the staircase, down a few stairs, and slammed the door behind him. “What the fuck was that?” Michael cried, shaking, his voice muffled because he refused to look up. Jeremy took a deep breath and opened the door slightly, looking at the small animal that was sitting in the living room. A fucking raccoon.

”Fucking raccoon,” Jeremy peeped quietly, closing the door and sliding back against the steps. He was out of breath, and his heart was still beating rapidly. Michael huffed irritably and lifted his head warily. “What time even is it?” Jeremy shrugged and looked back at the door. “Left my phone in the room. Can we just sleep down here?” he replied, standing up and closing the distance between him and Michael.

Michael groaned tiredly and sat up. “Fine, even though I’m not tired anymore and I feel like I’m having a heart attack,” he complained, letting Jeremy help him to his feet. Jeremy nodded his agreement, holding Michael’s hand tightly as they walked down the stairs together. Luckily, the bed in the basement was big enough for the both of them, with plenty of blankets to protect themselves against the freezing cold atmosphere that was Michael’s house. 

“Sorry,” Jeremy apologized pointlessly as he crawled into the bed, wriggling under the blankets and pulling them up to his chin. Michael sighed and followed Jeremy into the bed, pulling his body against his own and burrowing his face in the crook of Jeremy’s shoulder. “For what? You didn’t wake us up at whatever fucking time it is. How did that thing get in the house, anyways?” 

Jeremy shrugged and felt his tiredness creep back over him. “Dunno,” he replied, yawning. “Sleep. Love you.” Michael’s reply was a half-hearted “hm,” because he was also falling back asleep. How had they gone from alert to a state of pure exhaustion? 

———

When the boys woke up again, it wasn’t to a scrambling noise or banging. Instead, it was to the soft and distant beeping of Michael’s fire alarm. It wasn’t going off like a fire had started, but rather was making noise like it needed new batteries. 

Jeremy grunted angrily and ripped his pillow from out underneath his head and wrapped it around his head. “Turn it off!” he grumbled, burrowing his head further into the mattress. Michael mumbled quietly and rolled over to pull Jeremy against him again. “Few more minutes.” Jeremy shoved Michael away and sat up. He was grumpy and sleep-deprived and still terrified from earlier. 

“No,” he whined, throwing the pillow onto the ground. “No, get up. Get up. Get up. Change the batteries.” Michael scowled, eyes still closed. “You’re not being a very good boy right now,” he said, half-asleep. Jeremy crossed his arms. He didn’t care. 

“I. Don’t. Care,” he announced angrily, pushing Michael again. Michael grabbed him by the wrist and squeezed tightly. “Jere, baby, don’t push it,” he warned, and Jeremy tried to pull his arm away. 

It was like watching a fucking toddler. 

Jeremy pouted and continued pulling back his arm. “I said to change it. It’s hurting my ears,” he insisted, and Michael groaned before sitting up quickly, his grip on Jeremy’s wrist. “Jeremy, I said to let me sleep. I’ll take care of it later,” he snapped, and Jeremy flinched slightly. 

Through twelve years of friendship, Jeremy had learned that Michael wasn’t really a morning person. However, the ringing noise was really irritating Jeremy, and he couldn’t put up with it. “Michael. _Please_. I want you to get up and fix it with me because I don’t know how,” he begged, and Michael pushed Jeremy onto the bed and sat over him, knees on either side of Jeremy’s torso.

”You’re being a _brat_ , Jeremy,” Michael said sternly, pinning Jeremy’s arms above his head. He was tired and still traumatized from the raccoon incident. “Do you know what that means? Do you know what happens when you’re bad?” 

Jeremy blinked away any remaining sleepiness that was still plaguing him, gazing up at Michael with an interested look. “No, why don’t you enlighten me,” he teased, even though it was a little early to be initiating anything. Michael bit his lip thoughtfully, then returned to his upset expression. “You get punished,” he said uncertainly. What Michael meant, he wasn’t even sure. It’d be a question to Google later on. 

“Oh yeah?” Jeremy asked, cocking a brow. His arms were really starting to hurt. “Maybe I _want_ to be a bad boy, then. Come change the batteries with me.” 

Michael felt his irritation start fading away, even though he tried to stay mad at Jeremy. “Y-Yeah,” he tried to convince himself, grip never faltering. “Yeah. Bad boys get punished. And you’re being awful.” Jeremy stuck out his tongue, and Michael couldn’t help himself. He leaned down and smashed his lips against Jeremy’s with intentional force, nibbling carefully on Jeremy’s chapped bottom lip. Jeremy moaned quietly and slammed his eyes shut, trying to yank his arms out of Michael’s grip. Michael moved his knee to Jeremy’s crotch, pressing against it hard. 

Jeremy pulled away from Michael’s kiss to take a breath, the sensation too much for the time of day. “M-Michael, quit,” he pleaded, and Michael did. Part of Jeremy didn’t actually want Michael to stop, but the fire alarm was getting even more annoying. 

“I’m not forgetting about your poor attitude,” Michael hissed, rolling off of Jeremy and stamping away up the stairs. Jeremy laid in bed for a few moments, but then followed Michael. 

What would Michael even do? 

Jeremy ran up the stairs and caught up with Michael. “It’s still in there,” Jeremy warned Michael, who opened the door slightly. He scanned the area, and when he didn’t see the raccoon, he ventured onto the floor. “I’m aware. We’re calling an exterminator,” Michael told Jeremy, who nodded and slipped his arm around Michael’s waist. 

“I’m hungry,” Jeremy said in a sing-song voice, letting himself be pulled into the kitchen by his boyfriend. Michael rolled his eyes and shrugged, pulling out a drawer where he knew a brand new pack of AA batteries were hidden. “I’m mad at you,” he murmured, and Jeremy pouted. 

“Michael.”

”No.”

” _Michael!_ ”

Michael slammed the drawer shut, taking Jeremy’s arm off of his waist and pinning Jeremy against the counter. “Jeremy, you woke me up. _Then_ you back-talked. _Then_ you were a complete brat. You were bad,” Michael reminded him, and Jeremy frowned. God, he loved it when Michael got worked up. 

“I didn’t mean to,” Jeremy replied sadly, sticking out his bottom lip. Michael scoffed and studied Jeremy’s face. “Yeah, right. I told you several times to stop. I’m _not_ forgetting about this,” he retorted, letting go of Jeremy and following the quiet, consistent beeping noise to figure out which alarm it was. Jeremy followed Michael warily, looking around to see whether or not the raccoon was still there. “If you’re gonna punish me, I’d rather you do it now. I don’t want you to be mad at me all day,” Jeremy squeaked, his footsteps quiet and minimal as he took long strides down the hall. The beeping got louder, and the alarm that needed to be changed was apparently the one right above them.

Michael looked back at Jeremy and sighed. He couldn’t stay mad at him if he tried. “Fine. Go downstairs while I fix this, then. And _don’t_ touch yourself or anything. I know you masturbate, like, every morning,” Michael instructed, unhooking the fire alarm and replacing the batteries. 

Jeremy swallowed hard, but nodded and returned to the basement. He was hungry and tired and scared and excited, which was a lot to take in. Stupid Michael. 

No, stupid Jeremy and his big mouth. 

Five minutes passed, and Jeremy was still waiting in the basement, sitting on the edge of the bed. He tapped his leg anxiously, chewing his nails. What had he gotten into? 

Upstairs, Michael put away the extra batteries and searched around the living room for his phone. Upon finding it, he unlocked it and ignored the notifications flashing on his screen. Instead, he pulled up his browsing app and opened a new private tab. 

**how to punish your naughty, annoying boyfriend**

Michael hesitated before continuing his search. Wasn’t he already supposed to know how to do this? Nevertheless, he pressed the blue “enter” button, biting his lip as results began popping up. He huffed irritably as he realized that every result was about straight couples in which the man didn’t like doing chores or having sex. That wasn’t Jeremy at all. 

He’d have to figure something out on his own. Michael paced as he thought, trying to think about something – _anything_ – that would teach Jeremy that for one, he needed his sleep, and two, being a brat was not an option. Even if it did drive him crazy in a good way. 

Then, he got an idea. 

Michael sucked in quietly, then made his way back downstairs. He saw Jeremy on the bed biting at his nails from the top of the stairs. “Jere,” he said from the stairs, trying to sound dominant and assertive, but his voice cracked uncharacteristically. It made Jeremy want to laugh, but he’d be digging his own grave if he did. 

“Yeah?”

Michael padded down the stairs, walking over to Jeremy and looming over him. “Full disclosure, I don’t really know what I’m doing. Also, I’m hungry. However, that isn’t going to distract me from your, uh, punishment,” he explained, and Jeremy smirked. “I’m sure I’ll learn my lesson.” Michael swallowed hard. 

“Y-Yeah, you will,” he replied, crossing his arms. “Uh, you’re not allowed to touch yourself. You can’t push me down or anything. And remember that if what I’m doing isn’t okay that you can, uh, stop me.” Jeremy nodded excitedly, his anxiety melting away slightly. 

***

Michael took a breath and kneeled down, moving Jeremy’s legs apart and pulling his member out of his boxers. With one hand around its base and the other against Jeremy’s hipbone, Michael spit onto Jeremy’s dick, then put his mouth around its head and started giving his boyfriend a blowjob. 

Jeremy moaned quietly and moved his hand to the back of Michael’s head, but Michael took his hand and put it back on the bed. He hummed around Jeremy, sending vibrations through Jeremy’s body that weren’t morning-appropriate. “Micah,” Jeremy murmured, and Michael lifted his head from Jeremy’s crotch. “Hey, don’t,” Michael warned, deciding to add to the “punishment” a bit. “No talking. No noises.” 

Jeremy pouted but complied, and Michael picked back up. It took everything that Jeremy had not to moan again, his breathing irregular and quiet through his slightly-opened mouth. God, it was hard enough not to touch Michael and push him down further onto himself, let alone not make any noise at all. It was so sexually frustrating, but the “punishment” itself seemed more like a reward. 

Feeling himself get close, Jeremy let a small moan escape his mouth, but Michael couldn’t really hear it past his ringing thoughts. Just as he felt Jeremy’s length start pulsating, Michael pulled himself off, leaving Jeremy hard and desperate. “M-Michael!” Jeremy cried, hands digging into the bedsheets. Michael sat up proudly, gazing at Jeremy’s uncomfortably hard boner. 

“Don’t even _think_ about touching yourself,” Michael said, his confidence rebuilding itself. “Tell me what you did wrong.”

Was he being a little bit extra? Maybe. 

Jeremy whimpered and winced as his hard-on twitched. “I... I talked back. I woke you up? I made you get out of bed?” he pretty much asked, desperately turned on. God, would Michael just finish?

Michael smirked. “Yeah? Were you a bad boy, Jeremy?” 

“God, Michael, _yes_. Yes, I was a bad boy. It won’t happen again. Just h-help me out. I’m so close,” Jeremy whined, and satisfied with that answer, Michael finished what he started, moving his hand quickly and in jerky motions until Jeremy came all over his face. It was very porno-chic, and Michael realized that his glasses were absolutely wrecked. 

Jeremy’s moan was drawn-out and shrill, and Michael would never get used to the sound that sent shivers down his spine. “Good boy,” he laughed, still unsure if Jeremy even had a little kink. He knew that not every big and little couple made it a kink thing, but Michael didn’t want it to be anything else. He used the nickname to tease Jeremy, but Jeremy would never act like a younger person outside of the bedroom. 

***

”Thank you,” Jeremy breathed, kissing the top of Michael’s head. “Go clean off your face and I’ll go make some pancakes. Then, you can call the exterminator. I’m terrified because I don’t even know where that son of a bitch is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more pointless writing? yes 
> 
> xofaith


	34. Chapter 34

“My mom said she’s coming home tomorrow,” Michael read the text from his phone in the kitchen, then copying the phone number that she sent him to his keypad so that he could call an exterminator. 

Jeremy groaned quietly and leaned against the counter next to Michael, placing his head against Michael’s arm. “I wanna have our own house or something. That means that we _have_ to go to school tomorrow,” he whined, and Michael sighed. “True, but at least we get to spend all day together today, right? Now hush while I call this dude, I don’t know how to interact with professionals,” he retorted, kissing Jeremy on top of his head and pulling him close. 

The line rang a few times before somebody picked up, introduced themselves, and asked Michael how they could help him. “Yeah, hi, uh, my name is Michael Mell. Last night, or rather, this morning I think, my boyfriend and I discovered a raccoon in the house. Yeah, a raccoon. I know! It was terrifying. No, it didn’t bite us, but we don’t know where it is now. I think it got in through a vent or something. Yeah, we need someone to come out and, uh...”

Jeremy’s thoughts wandered from Michael’s phone conversation to the upcoming play. He was definitely nervous, especially because of his role change, but was glad that Michael was so supportive. It wasn’t like they had any other plans for Christmas Break, but Michael’s insistence on coming and helping out with the play as much as he could warmed Jeremy’s heart. He looked up at Michael, nothing but admiration in his mind, and he kissed Michael’s cheek before starting those pancakes that he had promised. 

Jeremy was a terrible chef, and an even worse baker, but pancakes were the one thing that he had taken years to actually learn how to make and perfect. He liked making little Mickey Mouse pancakes and sometimes even hearts, but pancakes were easy to make because he usually made them from a mix. Plus, he and his mom used to make pancakes almost every Sunday morning before she left. 

“Great, thanks so much. See you then. Okay, bye,” Michael was saying, and he hung up and set his phone down. “That wasn’t awful, actually. The lady was super nice.” Jeremy smiled and took out a griddle and walked over to the fridge. “Yeah?” he asked, even though he could care less. “When are they coming?” 

Michael checked the time on the oven and grimaced. “Ten. We have a little bit, I guess. You should probably get changed, though. Don’t want anyone eyeing up my boyfriend,” he teased, gesturing to Jeremy’s boxers and t-shirt. Jeremy feigned offense and got some butter and eggs out of the fridge. “Me? Getting eyed up? I doubt it. Most men are heterosexuals, so you don’t have to worry,” he replied, and Michael furrowed his brow. “Who says it’s not a woman, huh?” he countered, and Jeremy shrugged as he scoured the pantry for pancake mix. 

“Fair enough. Do you not have pancake mix?” Jeremy asked from the pantry, but then found a box wedged into the back corner. “Oh, nevermind.” He took it down and placed it by a large bowl that Michael had gotten down for him. 

“I love my talented boyfriend. He can act _and_ cook? I’m blessed,” Michael joked lightly, and Jeremy pouted at him. “Don’t make fun of me. I never had anyone to teach me how to cook, and my boyfriend never shows off his skills in the kitchen so...” Jeremy defended himself, pouring the mix into the bowl. 

Michael leaned over to the fridge and opened the freezer, taking out a bag of chocolate chips. “I show off _plenty_ of my skills in the kitchen,” he reminded Jeremy suggestively, scooting the bag closer to him. “Sorry that it doesn’t involve food.” Jeremy snorted and cracked the eggs over the bowl, wincing as an egg shell pierced his finger and then fell into the bowl. Michael didn’t need to know. 

“I enjoy your array of skills, babe,” Jeremy replied, peering into the bowl. “However, you’re, like, a really good chef. Make dinner for me tonight.” Michael chuckled quietly and leaned against the counter next to Jeremy, watching him awkwardly mix the ingredients together. “I didn’t hear a ‘please’ or anything, Heere,” he teased, and Jeremy rolled his eyes. Stupid Michael. 

“Fine, can you _please_ make dinner tonight,” Jeremy corrected himself, and Michael kissed his temple. “Sure. We need to make a run to the grocery store, though. How about... _sinigang_?” he suggested, and Jeremy looked at him, confused. “Sin-gang? What’s that, some Satanic shit?” he joked, and Michael giggled. “No, _sinigang_. It’s, like, vegetable stew. It has a fish sauce that’s seriously to-die-for. You’re gonna love it,” he promised, and Jeremy shrugged as he got some water from the sink and poured it into the mix. 

He finished the batter and looked up at Michael. “I’m sure I will,” Jeremy responded with a smile, leaning up to kiss Michael. “Sounds exotic.” 

Michael shrugged. “It’s Filipino. My mom’s a lot better at making it than I am, but probably because she’s an immigrant. I blame immigrants for my lack of native cooking ability,” he joked, and Jeremy clucked disapprovingly at him. “Didn’t know that you supported Trump, dummy. Just try to keep your political affiliations to yourself, yeah?” Michael scoffed and threw a lazy arm around Jeremy’s waist, pulling him closer as he tried to adjust the settings on the oven top. 

“Absolutely not. Trump can suck my dick,” Michael declared, and Jeremy laughed softly. “No, that’s my job.” 

“Oh shit, you right.” 

———

Michael jumped onto the cart and let it carry him a few feet as Jeremy looked up and down the international food section’s shelves. “Why didn’t we go to that Spanish market by _Payless_? Don’t they have this shit?” he asked, pointing at Michael’s messy handwritten grocery list. Michael looked over and laughed. “Honey, that’s tumeric. That’s a spice. It’s not even in this aisle. Plus, we ran out at my house. I don’t even need it for the soup,” he teased, looking at the rest of his list. “What the fuck are you looking for?” 

Jeremy frowned at the paper and looked at the food to his right. “Oo, _Pocky_ ,” he commented, mesmerized. Weeb Jeremy would’ve freaked out over the _Ramune_ , but the new Jeremy saw it and kept his cool. He needed to keep his cool. 

“Fuckin’ weeb,” Michael said anyways, grabbing the _Pocky_ from his spot on the cart and tossing it into the buggy. “Alright. Sour soup is usually made with pork, but we gotta make it kosher for you. Gotta warm you, it’s pretty sour at full strength. We’ll get some rice for your American tongue. Okay, produce aisle. Go.” Michael hopped down from the cart and pushed it quickly, jumping back on and riding it to the end of the aisle. Jeremy followed awkwardly, but still loved his dorky boyfriend. 

Once they got to the produce section, Michael was a mess. He jumped from one section to the next, taking out tomatoes and zucchini and other colorful vegetables that Jeremy would never consider eating consciously. God, maybe asking Michael to cook was a mistake. 

“I gotta do some real crunching here, Jere. Vegetarian _sinigang_ isn’t all that popular, but I guess it’s not, like, unheard of. You’ll have to actually eat vegetables for once,” Michael mused as he twisted a green, plastic-covered wire around his bag of tomatoes. “Tamarind. Tamarind. Does _Whole Foods_ sell tamarind? Probably, it smells weird here.” Michael left Jeremy to man the cart and wandered over to the tall refrigerated shelves against the wall. 

Michael was just so fucking cute when he talked about food like he knew what he was doing.

Jeremy pushed the cart over to Michael, who was scanning the shelves for–

“Tamarind!” he sang excitedly, pulling another plastic bag off of a metal hook and putting two pods into it. “It’s a fruit, y’know? Weird,” Michael educated Jeremy, who nodded and watched his boyfriend lovingly as he placed the bag into the cart. He looked up and saw Jeremy looking at him. “Why’re you looking at me like that?” Michael asked warily, and Jeremy just smiled and blinked. “‘Cause you’re cute and I love you. Your list says ‘fish sauce shit.’ I thought we were making it vegetarian.”

Michael pouted and shrugged. “Fine. Just a little FYI, it tastes better with pork. Okay, to the tofu. I need bok choy. Remember our fifth grade teacher, Mr. Judson? Didn’t he smell like bok choy and sweat, like, all the time?” 

Jeremy recalled the fat man who, tried as he might, couldn’t grow out his facial hair in a decent way. “Yeah, true,” he agreed, pushing the cart alongside Michael. “It was awful. He literally ate bok choy whatever every day.” Michael laughed and kissed Jeremy’s cheek. 

“I like grocery store dates,” he said after a beat, and Jeremy nodded again. “Yeah, you’re cute when you talk about vegetables,” he teased, and Michael gasped. “I’m hurt. Are you making fun of me? I’ll call the exterminator and tell them to just leave the raccoon at the house so that it can eat you,” he retorted, making Jeremy laugh unattractively. “Oh, fuck off,” he chuckled. “That’s not even how raccoons work.” 

Stupid Michael, the love of Jeremy’s life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops short chapter but i love michael and his love of food help  
> xofaith


	35. Chapter 35

Michael rocked back on his heels as Jeremy took a huge bite of his soup, which was still hot and steaming. He fought the urge to spit it out as it burnt his lips, then his mouth, then his throat. It felt like he was swallowing fire. “Fuck,” he choked, grabbing his throat. Michael chuckled and winked. “I like this sight,” he teased, and Jeremy scowled at him. 

“Manners.” 

He took a swig or water and puffed quietly. He didn’t really even get a chance to taste the stew, because it was too hot to even distinguish the flavors. “It’s too hot right now,” Jeremy told Michael, frowning. “Thanks for dinner, babe.” Michael smiled smugly and leaned down to kiss Jeremy, placing a hand on the back of Jeremy’s chair. 

“Of course. I’m sure once it doesn’t feel like molten lava, you’ll enjoy it. Plus, I’m sorry that it took so long to finish. You had rehearsal and then I had to make it and now it’s ten o’clock and you still can’t eat it,” Michael apologized quickly, still leaning against Jeremy’s chair. He watched the steady stream of steam billow from Jeremy’s bowl. “N-No, don’t apologize. I’ll just blow on it,” he reassured Michael, making a point of scooping up some more soup, blowing on the liquid with the strength he was capable of, and then shoved the soup into his mouth. 

It was a tolerable temperature. 

Jeremy scrunched his face up as his mind tried to figure out the flavors of the soup. It was good, but he didn’t really know what to think. Michael’s gaze was full of concern. “Is it gross? Too ‘exotic’ for your American tongue?” he asked worriedly, and Jeremy chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Michael, you’re American. Also, no, it’s really good. It’s sour. I don’t know what to think, but I know I like it. It’s tasty.” 

Michael smiled contently, sighing deeply. “Good. Hurry up and eat so we can go to bed. We actually have to get to school tomorrow, dork.”

———

Jeremy laid down in the bed by himself, waiting for Michael to finish brushing his teeth before he even thought about falling asleep. Alone with his thoughts, Jeremy decided to reflect yet again on everything that had happened in the last month. It was crazy that everything had happened so fast, but he didn’t mind. He enjoyed a busy life and would rather be occupied than alone with his thoughts. 

Except he was alone with his thoughts. 

He rolled over as he continued his reflection. Rehearsal was going well, and he was actually able to remember the majority of his lines at practice. No one had asked why he wasn’t at school, but he didn’t mind. Jeremy enjoyed having at least some parts of his life remain private and out of the light. 

Finally, Michael entered the room, the hall light making him look like he had a halo around him. “Move over,” he mumbled tiredly, setting his glasses on his nightstand before crawling into bed and under the covers with Jeremy. Jeremy scoot back into Michael, letting himself rest against Michael’s body as Michael adjusted. “Thanks again for dinner,” Jeremy peeped quietly as Michael laid back into his pillow, draping his arm around Jeremy’s waist and pulling him closer. 

“Any time. Well, not any time. That took forever to clean up, and it cost more than just going out to eat. But for the sake of this romantic moment, any time,” Michael responded, kissing Jeremy’s ear. Jeremy turned his head and puckered his lips. Ear kisses were not an acceptable way to tell your boyfriend “goodnight.” 

Michael chuckled airily and pressed his lips against Jeremy’s, which were dry and tasted like toothpaste. Not the hottest moment, but Michael cherished small kisses. Jeremy smiled and turned back over, sighing. Silence filled the air, only interrupted by Michael’s occasional cough or Jeremy shifting his feet, which couldn’t find a comfortable position. 

“What’re you thinking about?” 

Jeremy blinked and realized that he had been lost in thought for a few minutes. “How can you tell?” he asked cautiously, and Michael laughed softly. “Jeremy, I’ve known you for over twelve years. What’re you thinking about?” 

The smaller boy pouted slightly, then rolled over to face Michael. “Just us. I can’t believe I spent years in denial. It feels like we’ve been dating forever but it’s only been a few weeks, if that. I just wish that life would hurry up, and we could get jobs and a house and have kids. But that makes me anxious, because what if you don’t love me anymore? What if you lose interest? What if I don’t get a good job or don’t go to college or we can’t have kids or afford a house?” Jeremy rambled, and Michael listened sadly. 

“Lose interest?” he echoed, and Jeremy nodded solemnly. 

“Yeah. I don’t want things to get old or repetitive, is what I’m saying. You’d leave me. You’d get bored.” 

Michael didn’t say anything for a few moments, but instead searched Jeremy’s barely-visible face. Bored? Leave him? Michael would literally never even fathom the idea. 

“Jeremy, I chased after you for years. I’ve never lost interest in you. I’ve never gotten bored. Being in a relationship won’t change that. Life is _shit_ , Jere, but you make it tolerable. You make it exciting. You make every single moment worth living, and that hasn’t changed, nor will it ever. I’m not ending what we have ever, so your only escape is if _you_ get bored or fed up, understand?” he responded, his voice hushed. Michael brought a hand up to Jeremy’s hair, twisting a strand around his finger. “Jeremy, I _love_ you.”

Jeremy wanted to cry. He sniffled and buried himself in Michael’s chest, the only thing separating them a thick comforter. “I love you too,” he whispered into the blanket, and Michael stroked his hair. 

God, did Michael love Jeremy Heere.

”I’d hope so,” Michael said, snorting. “You won’t get tired of my awful jokes and my obsession with _Shrek_ , will you?“ He needed the mood shift. Jeremy laughed breathlessly into his chest, shaking his head. “Maybe, but I’d never get tired of _you_.” Michael smiled to himself and kisses the top of Jeremy’s head. “Cheesy. Speaking of, I want gas station nachos for lunch tomorrow. Guess we’re leaving campus for lunch, yeah?” Michael more said than suggested, and Jeremy nodded.

”Fine by me. What time is your mom coming home?”

Michael moved his hand to Jeremy’s neck and ran thumb along the side of it. “Dinner. We’re almost on break, though, which means that we’ll get the house to ourselves for a while, if you’re not still traumatized from our first two attempts at sex in the house. How was the car better?” 

Jeremy breathed slowly and closed his eyes. He’d just sleep like that. “Good question. Also, they weren’t traumatizing. I love being with you sexually, Michael S’Mell. Just don’t do any more office role play, because now all I can think of it my dad watching _The Office_ and making boats in a bottle,” Jeremy complained, and Michael chortled to himself. 

“Sure, whatever you say, _boss_. We’ll come up with other stuff. Okay, for real, go the fuck to sleep. I’m tired,” Michael whined, pulling Jeremy closer to him. Jeremy scowled, his eyes still shut. “Love you too.”

Silence. “Okay, I love you. But sleep.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love this fic w all my heart and the support has been overwhelming ahh you guys are the sweetest 
> 
> not sure when this will end (i say something else every chapter) but i just don’t wanna use up all my boyf riends material on one fic 
> 
> you can expect a lot more from me! 
> 
> xofaith


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok ok first an apology i had no idea how to stretch this fic 
> 
> second big ol gay marked w *** enjoy!!

“My teachers aren’t very happy with me. Apparently I missed a shit ton of tests yesterday,” Jeremy told Michael as they met between periods at their lockers. Michael chuckled and put his book and binder back into his locker. “Poor baby,” he mocked Jeremy, kissing his forehead. “When do you have to make them up?” Jeremy looked at the ground, then back up at Michael sadly. “Two during lunch, the other one after school.” 

Michael’s stomach twisted slightly, because they had definitely planned a lunch “date,” but he also knew how much Jeremy’s education meant to him. He wanted to ask if Jeremy could negotiate, but Jeremy had missed a lot of school lately, so putting it off would make him a lot more anxious. He sighed, but smiled encouragingly. They could get gas station nachos some other day. “Okay,” he replied steadily, grabbing Jeremy’s hand. “I didn’t pack lunch for you, sorry. Want me to pick you up something?” Jeremy hated protein bars, so Michael’s locker stash was off the table. 

Jeremy hummed thoughtfully, then nodded. “Yeah. I still want gas station nachos. I’ll be in Mr. Greene’s by the time you get back, probably. Just knock and come in. We can eat together, since he trusts me and won’t watch me take my test during his lunch period. Lunch date?” 

 _Oh_ , Michael thought. _Lunch date’s still on_. “Sounds good,” he decided with a smile, then let go of Jeremy’s hand and closed his locker. “See you soon. Love you.” 

“I love you too. Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go bomb my science test.” 

———

By the time Michael got back, Jeremy was indeed in Mr. Greene’s room, scribbling down something about the Cold War on his test. Michael knocked twice on the door, then opened it with some difficulty. In one arm, he was cradling two slushees, and in the other, balancing two containers of gas station nachos. Extra salty and super-processed, exactly how they liked it. 

“Oh my God, my knight in shining... cotton!” Jeremy groaned from his seat, leaning backwards in his seat and stretching his back. Michael closed the door behind him and danced over to Jeremy’s desk, doing a weird little spin thing before setting down their lunch. “Only the best for my prince,” Michael declared, whistling and sitting down in the desk in front of Jeremy, turning his chair around to face his boyfriend. 

Jesus, they were so dorky. 

“What’s your test over?” Michael asked nosily, peering at Jeremy’s paper. Jeremy moved to cover it and sneered, “Uh, no cheating!” Michael laughed and popped the lid off of his nacho container. “Cold War? I know what ended it.” 

“What ended it?”

Michael picked up a nacho, which was drenched with cheese, and waved it around. “The Space Race, duh,” he joked, and Jeremy kicked him lightly under the desk. He loved his dorky, sweet boyfriend. “Right, yeah, I’m sure I could actually write that and he’d mark it right. Give me a few bonus points. Thanks for lunch,” Jeremy responded, opening his own container. 

“Gourmet, I know,” Michael played it off, taking a bite out of his nacho. “I worked really hard to make these. Slaved over them. Almost had a meltdown at the register because I couldn't shove my change into my wallet fast enough.” Jeremy snorted and picked up his own chip, dipping it in the small plastic container of cheese in the bigger container. Michael had known Jeremy for twelve years and still couldn’t get over the fact that he didn’t like having his nachos with the cheese already poured on top. 

Jeremy ate the chip with one hand and continued his test with the other. “This shit’s too easy,” he cooed, penciling in an answer to a short answer question. “Listen. ‘ _What two major world powers was the Cold War between?_ ’ He can’t even structure a sentence right. Everyone knows that you can’t end a sentence with a preposition.” 

Michael sat in silence as he tried to remember what the fuck a preposition was. He loved English, but conventions of grammar were never his strongpoints. “Yeah, totally,” he replied, chuckling. “Oh, hey, if you have to make up a test after school, then what about play rehearsal? I wanna go again. I’m so excited for your play. You have no idea.” 

Jeremy blushed and shrugged slightly. “Ah, don’t know. I’ll probably either move my other test back a day or take it during my next period. Shouldn’t be hard.” Michael hummed and ate another chip. “Dude, that sucks. I’m glad I don’t have a ton of shit to make up. Actually, I think I may have made something up during class, but I have that study hall that I use sometimes to do tests and work in advance, then I sell questions and answers to other kids in my classes.” Jeremy rolled his eyes and continued his test. 

“Yeah, I get it, my boyfriend’s a criminal. Stop monopolizing the school’s cheating system, you’ll get caught,” Jeremy warned him, his pencil hovering over the last question. “Wait, what year did the Cold War end?” Michael gave him a confused look, then pulled his phone out and looked up the answer. “The period lasted from 1947 to 1991, apparently. Says _Wikipedia_.” Jeremy clicked his tongue and wrote down Michael’s words verbatim, then flipped the page back behind the others and slid them to the side of the desk. “Cool, okay. So, tell me about your day,” he told Michael, who placed Jeremy’s drink in front of him. 

Michael sighed and ate a few more nachos before answering. “Oh, you know, same old same old,” he replied, mouth full. Jeremy shook his head and took a sip of his slushee. “Boring. You wanna fuck tonight?” Michael choked on his chip and stared at Jeremy, puzzled. 

“Wow, smooth transition. Who are you and what did you do with my twink boyfriend?” Michael asked, setting his chip down. Jeremy giggled and shrugged, looking down into his cup. “Just wanted to make hot love with my boyfriend, goodness,” he pretended to pout, and Michael tapped his foot against Jeremy’s leg. He chuckled and finished his nachos. “Fine, but I don’t want to have sex in front of that pile of ashes again. Jake and Rich would find us again and we’d be humiliated.” 

Jeremy set down his drink, his tongue bright blue. “Deal. Your house, then. Basement. Uh, anything goes?” he pretty much asks, and Michael snorts. “Yeah, of course. Everything and anything. As usual. I think that I should introduce you to one of my kinks again, since you enjoyed being choked so much last time.” Jeremy blushed, his breath hitching in his throat. “Y-Yeah, whatever,” he rushed, crossing his arms. “What’d you have in mind?”  

“Blindfolds, dummy,” Michael mused, taking a sip of his slushee and looking at Jeremy uncertainly. Jeremy tensed up, the idea not all that appealing. However, he was willing to try anything at least once. 

“I trust you.” 

———

Jeremy was incredibly exhausted. He was so fucking tired. Rehearsal had taken the life out of him, and he wished that he could just get in bed and go to sleep. However, he was the one who suggested sex, and he knew that Michael would be totally fine with him postponing it, but he was also kind of horny. Being tired made him horny. 

Okay, everything made him horny. 

“I want death,” Jeremy stated as he stared blankly at his reflection, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. Michael snorted and continued brushing his teeth. “Poor baby. Do you want to maybe change our sex day?” 

Sex day? Jeremy was so embarrassed by that. What the fuck was sex day? “No,” he whined, spitting out his toothpaste. “I’m horny. You make me horny.” Michael cocked a brow and spit out his toothpaste, too. “Do I make you horny, baby?” he cooed, grinning creepily and rinsing off his brush. It wasn’t supposed to turn Jeremy on, but damnit, it did. He stared at Michael’s reflection desperately, and when Michael stood back up and caught him staring, he set down his toothbrush slowly and turned to look at him. 

***

“Oh my God,” he laughed breathily, grabbing Jeremy by the waist and pulling him close. “You’re such a teenager. I might just fuck you against the counter.” It was supposed to be a joke, but Jeremy was all for it. Jesus, why couldn’t they be a normal couple and just fuck on the bed all the time? 

Jeremy bit his lip and looked up at Michael through lidded eyes. “Maybe you should...” he droned, feeling high and hazy. Michael raised his eyebrows and smirked, turning slightly so that he pressed Jeremy against the bathroom counter. “Mph, should I? Why’s that? Can’t wait until we can get to the bed?” he teased, and Jeremy hummed thoughtfully. “Maybe,” he replied, snaking his hands around Michael’s back and up his shirt. “I like having spontaneous sex. Bathroom sex sounds hot right now.” It took everything that Michael had not to fuck Jeremy right then and there, just because Jeremy was so innocent and perfect and literally everything. 

“You sound so hot. Keep talking,” Michael murmured, planting kisses along Jeremy’s neck. Jeremy swallowed hard and moved his hands so that he was gripping the edge of the counter. “Hot” was not a word that Jeremy would use to describe himself, so hearing Michael call him that was a bit new to him. 

“A-About what?” Jeremy stammered, not really sure what to do with his hands or his words. Michael hummed against his neck, causing him to shudder. Michael stood back up and smiled at Jeremy, kissing his nose. “Talk to me about what was going through your head when we were fucking in the car.” Jeremy choked as he remembered the other night, Michael leaning over him and pressing him into the driver’s seat, windows fogged and bodies drenched with sweat. God, the memory made him so fucking hard. He wasn’t supposed to be turned on by just thinking about things. 

Michael gazed at him expectantly, moving a piece of Jeremy’s hair out of Jeremy’s face. “Uh, okay,” Jeremy started uncertainly, biting the inside of his cheek. “W-Well, I was super nervous at first.” Michael’s eyes flew open as he remembered the whole blindfold thing, so he held up a finger and let go of Jeremy. “So sorry, be back. Trust me, this will make it worth it.” 

He ran out of the bathroom, leaving Jeremy turned on and a bit empty. Awkwardly, Jeremy slipped a bit because of his sweaty palms, regaining his balance and standing back up. 

Michael came back with one of his bandanas, which he wore unironically from time to time. Jeremy could only giggle at it, and Michael pretended to pout. “Don’t bully me,” he whined, placing the folded bandana over Jeremy’s face and tying it behind his head. Jeremy adjusted the “blindfold” so that he couldn’t see anything, the feeling a bit uncomfortable and scary, but he could get used to it. Michael nodded at his work, then placed his arms back around Jeremy’s waist after moving Jeremy’s hands to each side of his neck. Jeremy had really cold hands, but the cool skin only made Michael hotter. 

“Alright, pretend like that awkward shit didn’t just happen. What were you saying?” Michael asked, trying to look into Jeremy’s eyes but just being met with the fabric of his bandana. He loved seeing Jeremy’s gorgeous eyes when they had sex, but seeing Jeremy so confused and lost-looking was almost as good. 

Jeremy swallowed hard, letting his thumbs run along Michael’s skin. He felt a bit claustrophobic, even though he wasn’t in a small space or anything. It made him a little anxious, but Michael was incredibly warm and comforting. “I was... really nervous beforehand,” he began, feeling Michael’s lips press into his neck. The fact that he couldn’t see Michael kissing him and what he was doing made him even hornier. Everything was unexpected. 

“I wasn’t sure that sex in the car would be a great idea,” he admitted, blinking against the fabric of the blindfold. “I guess that I just, like, went with it. You made it a lot easier.” 

Michael chuckled, his breath hot against Jeremy’s ear. When had he gotten there? 

“So, uh, yeah. You were under me, and I was kinda, like, _over_ you,” Jeremy recalled, and Michael lead him by the waist so that Michael was leaning against the counter, Jeremy “over” him. Is that what Michael had in mind? Recreating the car sex? If so, Jeremy was all for that. “A-And I asked you what you wanted.” 

Michael kissed Jeremy’s forehead. “Ask me, then,” he hummed, and Jeremy took a deep breath. God, this was hot. “Y-Yeah? Okay, uh, tell me what you want,” he tried to replicate the way he said it so effortlessly those few nights ago, but wasn’t able to. Michael’s breath hitched in his throat, and he let himself melt at Jeremy’s words. What had he done to deserve Jeremy? He couldn’t really remember what he had said in the car, but it was something about Jeremy being pretty and helpless, probably. 

“I want you to walk me through our car sex. I want you here and pretty for me, I want to mark you up again and leave marks where people can see, because I want everyone to know who you belong to every time they see those marks. I want you to scream for me and, uh, I need you to just trust me.” 

“I trust you.” 

Michael smirked and kissed Jeremy’s lips softly, nibbling on his bottom lip for a moment before leaning back. “Then what happened?” 

Jeremy had followed Michael as Michael leaned back, desperate for any form of physical contact other than Michael’s hands on his waist. “Uh,” Jeremy said hoarsely, his nails digging into Michael’s skin slightly. “I said that I’d be a good boy for you, and I think that you got on top of me and–“ 

Jeremy yelped in surprise as Michael switched spots with him again, the counter digging unpleasantly into his spine. That’d probably leave a mark. He winced and held onto Michael tighter, the motion making his head spin. He wished that he could see how dominant Michael looked, because Michael’s face was always so stern and certain. “After that, um, we kissed a lot.” Jeremy swallowed hard again, certain that he was almost as red as Michael’s bandana, and his lips were suddenly met by Michael’s. He moaned quietly, moving his hands from Michael’s neck to the neck of Michael’s shirt. He pulled him down and hummed lightly against Michael’s mouth, relishing the weird minty taste. 

Jeremy pulled back suddenly, remembering that Michael had only kissed him on the mouth once. Michael gazed at him in confusion, even though he knew that Jeremy couldn’t see him. “You, uh, you just kissed my face,” Jeremy corrected himself, bringing a hand up to his forehead, his hairline, his jaw. Michael nodded understandingly and then kissed the invisible lines that Jeremy left with his finger. 

“A-And... You, uh, you took off my shirt,” Jeremy recounted, and Michael did the same thing. He moved his hands and pulled Jeremy’s shirt over his head, letting it fall to the ground. “Then what?” Michael asked breathlessly, readjusting Jeremy’s blindfold. Jeremy bit his lip as he tried to remember what happened next. The sex was so amazing, so it’d only make sense that he remembered every detail, right? “I think that you, like, left a ton of hickies all over my chest,” Jeremy said softy, and Michael let his thumb wander over the dark purple marks that danced across Jeremy’s torso, along with his freckles. 

“Right...” Michael muttered, leaning down and pressing Jeremy into the counter, kissing Jeremy’s chest and sucking hard in a few spots. Jeremy flinched at the sudden contact, moving his hands to the small of Michael’s back.

Jeremy decided that he’d make himself useful and studied his recollection of the night. 

“I remember not being scared or worried anymore,” he noted with certainty. “We talked about how much we love each other. You said you were lucky or something and–“

Michael lifted his head from Jeremy’s chest and kissed Jeremy’s mouth to interrupt him. “Because I _am_ lucky,” he interjected. “My boyfriend is sweet and pretty and talented. He’s so thoughtful and has a huge heart. He’s also, like, super modest, especially when he shouldn’t be.” Jeremy blushed at Michael’s words, which he could remember sounding nearly the same in the car. “I’m lucky, too,” he sputtered, snaking his hands up Michael’s body to rest on his chest. Unfortunately, Michael still had a shirt on. 

“ _My_ boyfriend is super loyal and I trust him with my life. He’s sweet and funny and always knows what to say and when to say it. He’s so lovable, I swear to God,” Jeremy gushed, not having to see Michael to know that Michael was beaming. God, he loved his boyfriend. 

“Sounding familiar,” Michael teased. “Then what?” 

Jeremy thought hard. 

“I think that we got undressed and decided that we’d have really gentle sex,” Jeremy mused, and Michael kissed him before untying the strings on Jeremy’s sweatpants. Jeremy decided that he _did_ like being blindfolded, especially because Michael was spontaneous and Jeremy never knew what to expect. He helped Jeremy shuffle out of the pants, one leg at a time. It was awkward and uncertain, but both boys enjoyed it immensely. Michael stepped back to undress himself, and even though he had always been a bit insecure about his weight and body, Jeremy being blinded made his insecurity a bit more manageable. 

Jeremy hummed to himself as he felt Michael’s fingers wander along the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down slowly and helping him out of the underwear. “Last time, we were laying down and trying to do this,” Jeremy giggled, hands on Michael’s shoulders so that he could steady himself. “Now we’re standing. We’re so weird.” 

Michael snorted and kissed his dorky boyfriend. “We are. Okay, what next? I’m naked and you can’t see me,” he joked, and Jeremy pouted. “I wanna see, though,” he whined, but Michael brought a finger to Jeremy’s mouth to hush him. 

“What’s next?” he asked, bringing the focus back to the theme of their sexy time. Jeremy decided to rest his eyes, which were starting to get a bit dry. “Uh, I think you grabbed a condom and lube. Talked to me about Halloween night. Emotional shit. Oh, and you, uh, y’know...” His voice faltered, just because “stretched me out” sounded too weird to say out loud. Luckily, Michael got the memo, and he pulled out the drawer that had the condoms and lube he kept in there. 

“Alright, not really sure how this works, but I’m gonna hazard a guess that you need to, uh...” Michael murmured quietly, turning Jeremy around and pushing him over a bit so that he was leaning against the counter. Sex like that would be a lot easier than trying to fuck standing up, so Jeremy complied gratefully. “Sure, yeah.” 

Michael took a deep breath and rubbed lube over his fingers, placing his free hand on Jeremy’s back after he finished and lining his other fingers up with Jeremy. 

“Keep talking. How did it make you feel?” Michael prompted Jeremy, letting a finger slide in. Jeremy breathed deeply and let his mouth fall open slightly, and Michael gazed at him lovingly in the mirror. Jesus Christ, he was so fucking hot. Jeremy would give anything to be able to see his face in the mirror, but the uncertainty of everything turned him on for once. Usually he was terrified of the unknown. “Ah, uh, safe,” Jeremy forced himself to say, his hands gripping what he thought was the bowl of the sink. 

“I felt safe and... _God_ , Michael,” he interrupted himself as Michael added another digit. Michael snickered breathily and let his fingers on Jeremy’s back shift a bit. “And?” 

Jeremy moaned when Michael suddenly brushed against his prostate. “I... I felt completely at your disposal. You asked me what I wanted, and–“ 

“What do you want, baby boy?” Michael hummed softly, adding another finger. Jeremy gasped quietly, his grip on the sink tightening. God, Michael was so good to him. “I... I want you to fuck me over the bathroom counter. P-Pull my hair, surprise me, uh... I really liked sex without a condom. That was hot,” Jeremy choked, and Michael couldn’t help that his pace quickened. He had to stop himself before he got carried away. 

Michael took a deep breath and nodded, smiling at the disappointed look on Jeremy’s face when he removed his fingers. He specifically remembered that Jeremy had spread the lube over Michael’s member last time, which Michael had enjoyed immensely. Maybe he’d be willing to do the same thing this time. 

“I, uh, I lubed up your dick,” Jeremy recalled, his voice shaking. He moved one of his hands in the direction that he expected the bottle of lube to be, but ended up knocking over the cup that held his and Michael’s toothbrushes. The clashing noise scared Jeremy, causing him to jump slightly. Michael shushed him and rubbed his back consolingly, moving the lube into Jeremy’s open hand. Jeremy grabbed it and chuckled awkwardly, fumbling with the lid and pouring it onto his hand. 

He stretched his arm around his back, searching the air for his boyfriend’s member. Michael laughed to himself and moved his dick so that Jeremy could actually find it, and upon finding it, he began stroking it awkwardly. The position wasn’t the easiest to work in, but Jeremy promised himself that he’d at least try. Michael’s eyes fluttered, and when he remembered that Jeremy couldn’t see him, he decided that moaning quietly would let Jeremy know that he was doing a good job. Jeremy chuckled breathlessly to himself, running his thumb over Michael’s slit and then letting go, moving his hand back to the sink. 

Michael hummed gently and moved his hand up Jeremy’s back, leaning over. He lined himself up with Jeremy, looking at Jeremy’s patient face in the mirror. He smiled. “What happens after that, then?” 

Jeremy was twitching with anticipation, his breath hard and fast already. “You, uh, you fucked me, I guess,” he laughed, and Michael joined him. Carefully, Michael pushed in, and Jeremy winced slightly, surprised at the sudden intrusion. He wasn’t complaining, but it was a bit hard to find a spot that was comfortable. The counter kind of dug into his hipbones, which didn’t feel great, but it was all part of the experience. He moaned quietly, mostly in pain, his grip on the sink causing his knuckles to go numb. 

Michael inhaled slowly, giving Jeremy time to adjust. Jeremy pushed back into Michael, which turned Michael on beyond words. Jesus Christ, desperate Jeremy was his favorite Jeremy. “Like this?” he asked breathlessly, and Jeremy nodded quickly, eyes screwed shut. 

“Y-Yeah, and you, you had your hand on my neck...” Jeremy recalled, the image burned into his head. “But, uh, I’d rather you pull my hair. You don’t really do that a lot.” Michael smiled to himself and leaned over Jeremy’s back to tangle his hand into Jeremy’s hair, giving it a little tug as he pulled out and thrusted back in. Jeremy moaned in surprise, the pain starting to subside. God, everything felt so good, even though he couldn’t see anything. 

Michael chuckled to himself, staring at Jeremy’s broken face in the mirror. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” he breathed, pulling out and then pushing himself back in gently, steadying his pace. He pulled Jeremy’s hair harder, causing him to bend backwards a bit. Jeremy whimpered and ran his thumbs along the cool ceramic of the sink. “What else?” 

Jeremy swallowed, which was hard considering the weird angle his neck was at. Michael twisted his hair around his fingers, tugging slightly. “Y-You jacked me off,” Jeremy choked, and Michael let his free hand wander around Jeremy’s waist and to his dick. 

“Hey, I’m home!” a voice suddenly called from outside of the bathroom, followed by a quick knock. Jeremy gasped, throwing his hand up to his mouth. Fuck, was that Michael’s mom. 

However, Michael didn’t stop. Instead, he picked up speed, starting to stroke Jeremy’s member. “H-Hey, Mom!” Michael yelled back, pulling at Jeremy’s hair as a warning. He hushed Jeremy, quickening his pace slightly. “How was your trip?” 

Jeremy was seriously struggling to keep quiet, the occasional moan slipping from his covered mouth. Nothing about the situation should’ve turned him on, but somehow, Michael’s mom walking into the house heightened his libido. Just the thrill of having to stay quiet made what he was doing seem even hotter. Michael groaned softly as he felt himself getting closer.

”It was good! Is Jeremy staying the night? Are you two getting ready for bed?” she asked loudly, even though she was literally standing right outside the door. 

The boys couldn’t believe that she couldn’t hear. “Sorry, j-just brushing our teeth,” Michael lied, trying to sound like he had something in his mouth. Jeremy laughed quietly, because if brushing his teeth was more like what they were doing, he’d have to do it more often. Michael’s mom hummed from outside the door. “Alright! I’m exhausted, so I’ll see you boys tomorrow after you get home from school. I’m sleeping in as long as my body will let me,” she continued. “Okay, goodnight! Love you both!” 

“Love you too!” they called in unison, and Michael heard his mom’s footsteps fade. Jeremy’s mouth never closed, and it just kind of hung open. Michael felt himself falter as he neared his orgasm. “I... Oh my God, I’m close,” he moaned, but too late because he was already finishing inside of Jeremy. 

Jeremy furrowed his brow and groaned, the warm liquid and everything that Michael was doing to him sending him over the edge as well. “ _Michael_ ,” he moaned shrilly, trying to keep his voice down in case Mrs. Mell heard them. A moaning, sweaty mess, the boys rode out their orgasm, and Jeremy wished that he could see  what he looked like. He loved seeing Michael’s face when Michael reached his climax, because it made him so much hornier. Jeremy pushed back against Michael, letting Michael slow down, and then pull out, his member going limp. 

***

“W-What happens... after that?” Michael teased, severely out of breath. Their hearts were beating quickly, in sync, a product of the combined anxiety Michael’s mom had caused and the extreme amount of exercise they had just participated in. 

Jeremy laughed and rested against the counter, letting Michael untie his blindfold. He looked up at himself and Michael, the sight enough to make him hard again. His hair was a fucking mess, and he and Michael were sweating profusely. “Rich and Jake walk in,” he joked, and Michael rolled his eyes with a smile.

”I don’t like that joke,” Michael replied sarcastically, and he moved his hands to Jeremy’s back, rolling his knuckles along Jeremy’s spine. “Want a massage?” 

Jeremy smirked at Michael, breathing hard. “Of course I want a fucking massage.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oo i still update this fic?? duh ofc i love my baby 
> 
> had a big ol sexy time scene hope y’all missed me :,))


	37. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time jump - one week!

Jeremy looked out across the crowd, spotting Michael in the front of the auditorium, center of the front row. He smiled and chuckled breathlessly, then let the curtain swing back shut. 

Fuck, he was so nervous. 

He took a deep breath and joined the rest of the cast, everyone putting final touches on their costumes and appearance. Some of the people are studying their lines anxiously, like it was the first time they had ever even seen their scripts. Jeremy looked around at the group, then felt a hand on his shoulder. He spun around to look up at Mr. Reyes, whose face was bright red and glowing with sweat. “Jeremy, you will be amazing!” he promised, beaming. 

Jeremy sighed nervously and smiled. “Maybe. I just hope I don’t mess it up like last time.” 

Truth be told, it was all Jeremy could think about. He remembered the way that he had screwed up _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ , and the possibility of messing _A Christmas Carol_ up to the same extent haunted him. Mr. Reyes opened his mouth to say something, then raised his brows at someone standing behind Jeremy. “Jake, no!” he cried suddenly, letting go of Jeremy. “We don’t joust with crutches!” 

Jeremy shook as he moved to sit down at a crudely lit mirror, staring at his reflection. The makeup under his eyes was starting to run, making his tired appearance seem exaggerated. He looked like he was going to pass out. 

“You can do this,” he encouraged himself, thinking about Michael and his support. God, he loved his boyfriend. 

He started thinking about the SQUIP and everything that had happened since he started dating Michael, all the way back to when he reactivated the SQUIP in hopes of becoming a better boyfriend. God, how could Michael put up with him? He remembered kissing Michael in the locker room, remembered dating Christine and remembered making Michael cry in the car on the way to _Burger King_. 

Fuck, this wasn’t a great time to start crying. 

As if on cue, a figure joined him in his reflection, and he looked up to see Michael’s shimmering face. He was smiling like a fucking idiot, hair a mess. “How’s my talented, amazing, gorgeous boyfriend doing? Nervous? Excited? I’m so fucking excited, but I also wanna vomit,” Michael rambled, setting his hands steadily on Jeremy’s shoulders.

Jeremy looked back at his own face, which was red and patchy. “Uh, h-honestly, I can’t stop thinking.” 

Michael’s happy expression suddenly faltered, and he looked down at Jeremy. Oh God, was he _crying_? “Jeremy, oh my God, what’s wrong?” he murmured, leaning down and moving Jeremy’s face so that he was looking up at him. Jeremy sniffled quietly, blinking away his burning tears. “I’m thinking about... Michael, I’m thinking about when I made you cry in the bathroom and in the car. How I kissed you and didn’t talk to you for weeks. I’m thinking about how I reactivated that fucking computer to try and be better for you. How the fuck are you putting up with me? I’m such a chore. I’m such a _burden_.”

Michael gazed sadly at his boyfriend, lip quivering. Why was Jeremy so sad right before he was about to go perform? Why wasn’t he just nervous about the play? 

“Jere,” Michael muttered, barely above a whisper. It was a bit difficult to hear him over the scrambling of the rest of the cast in the background, but Jeremy tried to focus on Michael completely. “Jeremy, it’s okay. You’re not a burden at all. Jeremy, I... I love you, dumbass. God, we’ve been through so much together, but I’ve _never_ thought of you as a chore or anything like that. Jesus Christ, I don’t know why you’re thinking about all of this right now. You should just be nervous about your play. We can talk this out when you’re done, can’t we?” 

Jeremy choked on a sob and shook his head. “N-No,” he managed to say, a tear rolling down his cheek. “No, I... I started thinking about how I messed up the last play. And then about how I mess everything up. And it’s probably my nerves talking, but I need you to tell me that I’m going to be fine. That I won’t fuck this up like I do with everything else.” 

Michael scoffed and searched Jeremy’s face. He felt so empty. “Fuck, man. You’re... Jeremy, you don’t fuck things up. Stop it! Listen to me! You’re going to be so amazing, you hear me? You’ve been practicing so much. That SQUIP thing? That wasn’t you. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, Jere. You’re not a burden. You aren’t gonna fuck this up. You don’t cause problems or anything. Jeremy, I’m so proud of you. I was in love with you for _years_ , dude. That’s not ever going to change. Please get those thoughts out of your head.” 

Jeremy started calming down, Michael’s soft features bringing him back to reality. Things would be okay. 

“I’m not a burden,” he echoed Michael, who nodded quickly and stood back up, leaning down to kiss Jeremy’s forehead. Jeremy started smiling, and Mr. Reyes frantically entered the room, eyes wide. “Okay, places, places! I need everyone in this act and scene ready! Mr. Mell, I’ll have to ask that you return to your seat in the audience, please and thank you.”

Michael kissed Jeremy once more, warm lips against Jeremy’s, and then disappeared back into the auditorium. Jeremy stood up shakily, but he had newfound confidence. 

“I’m not a burden.”

Mr. Reyes clapped his hands, ushering whoever was to be acting that scene behind the curtain. The set crew finished decorating the stage just in time. 

“I’m not going to fuck this up.”

Christine shot Jeremy a huge grin and a thumbs-up, and Jeremy adjusted his robe nervously. 

“My boyfriend loves me and things are going to be okay.” 

Everyone else cleared the stage, leaving Jeremy standing on the stage with Jake and whoever was playing the narrator. The curtain separating the stage from the audience began to open, lights illuminating the set and starting the play. 

Everything was going to be okay. 

“ _Marley was dead, to begin with_.”

And suddenly, Jeremy felt a huge weight lift off of his chest, and it didn’t hurt as much to breathe. Everything was going to be more than okay, and the soft, excited look on Michael’s face filled him with confidence. 

Everything was going to be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so ik this feels like a really sudden ending, but i have a lot of other projects i’m working on!!
> 
> i wanna thank everyone who actually read this far. this was my first really long fic, and i hope you enjoyed it!! please let me know what you thought, and honestly i have so much boyf riends stUFF i wanna do so i can’t use it all on one fic :(( 
> 
> you’ve all been so amazing and supportive, and thanks for joining me on this journey!!

**Author's Note:**

> finally, a multi-chapter bmc fanfic. this is gonna be a blast to write, bc writing michael as a character w nothing but love and admiration for his bff while jeremy continues to play w his emotions is what i live for 
> 
> pls comment and leave kudos haha I’m an attention whore and need validation!!
> 
> xofaith


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